Eat Your Greens
| Written by | Cosmo Fish |
|---|---|
| Published on Creepypasta.com | October 2013 |
| Length | 221 words · about 1 minute to read |
| Story level | Micro |
| Reader rating | 3.9/10 from 2,721 votes |
| Category | Deaths, Murders, and Disappearances |
My mother always told me to eat my greens. Like most I was a fussy and picky child and didn’t want anything to do with the disgusting looking mass of otherworldly slime that she slopped onto my plate every meal. Give me meat, give me dinner rolls, anything but that!
“Eat your greens so you grow up big and strong. If all you eat is meat and sweets, you’ll just turn into an aggressive thug,” she always told me. Well, I certainly didn’t want to be a thug. I was a nice person, you know. I was always polite to everyone and always patient too. I couldn’t stand those jerks who played football and stuffed other kids into lockers.
“You’ll just have to repay them with kindness and outlast them with patience,” my mother always advised.
Well Mother, I guess you were right. I will be more kind and patient than all the thugs and jerks. See? I invited the jerk over for dinner. Wasn’t that nice of me mother? I’ll even eat all my greens this time to make doubly sure that I won’t turn into a thug!
I just wish that it didn’t take so long for the human body to turn green. I’m getting really hungry and my dessert will soon spoil, Mother.
Credit To – Cosmo Fish
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Read NowCopyright Statement: Unless explicitly stated, all stories published on Creepypasta.com are the property of (and under copyright to) their respective authors, and may not be narrated or performed under any circumstance.
A bit predictable, not very scary, but I enjoyed it.
I don getit
I dunno what pasta you guys read but I like it. (btw trenderman is slendermans trendy cousin not his cool brother.) 7/10
wat
I was going to let this go. But Geez, this site has got to have one of the most pedantic userbases I’ve ever seen.
No, fyi, I do not in fact believe that decaying bodies literally turn green by exact color wheel definitions. “Green” is just one of many colloquial descriptions of the color of a decomposing body that I’ve seen in my lifetime and I decided to use it as a pun for a bit of macabre humor. That’s all.
If you didn’t like the result, fine by me. But you people are waaaaaay too nitpicky up in here.
And to all the people saying it’s “too short” or “underdeveloped” I invite you to read the handy little “micropasta” label at the top there.
SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!!!11!!!!1!!!!
I just don’t understand it… But congratulation on being published….
this was okay, good idea, but more research on the human body and a little more detail and more paragraphs and yeah
still cool idea tho 4/10
This pasta was really undercooked.
*twitch*
Holy… I can’t even…
The story arc is the most pathetic. I mean, not even Micheal Whitehouse could take this and make it good. My soul just died a little bit and deflated on my shoe.
that sucked
I don’t know why this story was allowed on here. It started off sort of okay, but I don’t understand the “green body”. If the boy is suggesting that he killed the “jerk”, then spray painted him green? Maybe, but it was executed horribly. Would not classify this as a micropasta, but a crappypasta? Definitely.
2.35/10
CALLING MR. DINGLEBOTTOM: CRITIC OF CRAPPYPASTA. WE NEED A DECONSTRUCTION NOW!!!
what the hell was that?????
its called creepypastas for a reason!! 1/10 i only wish i could vote 0.5/10
OKAY!! Here is what I think.
1) DUDE IS OBVIOUSLY PSYCHO!
2) I’m sorry, but I don’t understand how I can be the only one who realizes why he “waited for the body to turn green.” (He’s PSYCHO, so this is his way of saying “SCREW YOU MOM, IMMA EAT MAH GREENS.” It’s a “tribute” to his mom. He took all of his psycho and dedicated it to his mother. So sweet!)
3) This WAS a good story! You just have to be open-minded about the premesis of the idea.
4) I think with a little more time and dedication, this story could’ve been even more amazing!
5) Lol, imma have like -129 votes… :3
Anywho, that’s just my opinion. :)
I totally agree with you :)
=
I thought it was funny.
what the hell is this??
Yo Trenderman!
But, yeah, that was a complete waste of time. At least it was short. 2/10
This was just awful. There hasn’t been very many times where a pasta has disappointed me. But this was pretty bad.
Well, that escalated quickly.
This was just so bad I cant even…. I quit
What Shaft said. It was a good concept, but then they were late for school or something and rushed off.
Incomplete, rushed…
Weird but not scary. The point is to make someone feel creeped out, try relating it to something we do.
I personally didn’t care too much for this story. A good idea, but just wasn’t executed very well
I agree completely with Katherine C. The idea was wonderful through the start to the middle. The last two to three sentences was the part where everything fell apart. This could be a great story if you would please clarify the end.
This was a decent idea that, but it feels like the author was too lazy or too time constricted to make it into an actual story
Wtf ¿
I’m guessing cannibalism? I think? Though, personally, I’m not sure a decomposing body will ever turn green, per say. Decomp is also not my area of expertise, so I’ll just let that slide. I like the mother’s catchphrases. They are saccharine and cliche, but do echo some of those eating myths that have been so prevalent. And a little bit of maternal guilt, just for good measure. I also like the “kindness and patience” theme that emerges, as he shows kindness by inviting them, and patience by waiting. I think this story fell a bit flat in the reveal, managing to say too much and not enough somehow. The last two sentences seem to mostly give it away in a too obvious way, if cannibalism is the desired interpretation, but I’m left unsure if I missed something because I can’t logically have it make sense that he is waiting for a body to turn green. I guess this one just doesn’t make sense to me, so maybe I missed something? I don’t understand the logical leap from “eat your greens to not be a thug” to “eat a green thug to not be a thug.” I think it is an interesting concept, and just needs some additional clarity on the direction and intent of the narrator to pull it all together.
That was, uh, well, that was something…
That made no sense. 2/10
Two? You’re generous.
First-to get it out of my system- that was pathetic.
Now since I know you want real feedback. The story and twist are frankly disjointed. I mean even a crazy person is gonna realize that his mother wasn’t saying it’s OK to eat anything just because it’s green. What he’s eating is still meat.
But most importantly: Unless the buildup is awesome, the twist MUST be better than he/she eats people. Look at the ratings, you just have to do better.
I was going to try and say something about this… whatever it is… but this Asteroth person here said it all already.
So I’m just gonna sit back and take some comfort in the fact that eating someone who’s been dead long enough to completely change colour–
(though really, green is kinda… pushing it a bit much… I mean seriously, take a look at how a decomposing body tends to progress and tell me where this “green” is meant to be – though I recommend google or books or whatever for that, not a more hands-on study; if you’ve got the nerve for it try the YNC or BestGore maybe?)
–is pretty much guaranteed to make little mister not-a-thug very fucking sick. Or you know, if we’re lucky, also dead.
As a side note though, I couldn’t help but picture the Gangreen Gang from the Powerpuff Girls – ie these guys: http://tinyurl.com/kwl4yqs (I really wish I knew how to just insert the picture there, dammit) – and I must admit it made the whole thing slightly less terrible. Slightly.
You sir, are awesome.
das nasty