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Dark Comedy, Humor, and Parodies

hel ward 54

Hel Ward 54

When James and Linda Scott welcomed the arrival of their first daughter Ella Marie. Nothing seemed to be better. The pregnancy was a text book scenario. Nine months of classes, preparing a room and eagerness for her to arrive all seemed to go swimmingly. Linda was wonderful and the birth …

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that is not the fire alarm

That is Not the Fire Alarm

Congratulations on your admission to Oak and Ash Academy, one of the most exclusive private academies in North America. You are part of the largest incoming class since our founding in 1763. Although this is a unique opportunity—consider that in any ordinary year, three out of four of you would …

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Tales From Port-land

I found something I shouldn’t have, or maybe I should, I don’t know. I was helping my parents move out of their old house and into mine. Their house was about ten miles from the nearest town and even farther from a hospital. This scared me ever since the doctors …

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He’s Killing Up There

Part 1 “So I’m in the cosmetics aisle, right? And I’m standing there reading this bottle of lotion. ‘Not tested on animals,’ it says. And I’m thinking: Really? Like, who the hell is rubbing lotion on animals? Anyone?” A modest amount of laughter from the audience. About as much as …

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Tales From the Gas Station

PART ONE At the edge of our town, there’s a shitty gas station that’s open twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. If you were to go inside, you’d see row after row of off-brand chips, cookies, potted meats and ramen. Expiration dates suspiciously missing from canned goods like …

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The Zombie Pitch

So, what’s it like to be a zombie? I’ll save you the effort of asking because we both know that’s what you’re thinking… right? Or, more to the point, what the best part of being a zombie? Well I’ll tell you one thing: it’s not the loss of dexterity. I’ve …

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The Forgotten Hour

As the last of the crisp brown Autumn leaves fell to the worn pavement, the young man let out a sigh. So much had happened in the time since he left in the spring of 2001. His home, his workshop, even his favorite stores and restaurants were gone. Walking past …

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