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The Copy Machine

Estimated reading time โ€” < 1 minute

You’re at work alone, when you suddenly hear the copy machine start up. You walk out to take a look at what’s going on and see several copies filling the tray. Picking up one of the pieces of paper you discover that it is a copy of a picture depicting you sitting in your office chair, dead, with your eyes torn out and your throat cut. The others are the same picture, but taken from increasingly bizarre angles.

There is no original picture in the copy machine. In fact, the machine has been out of toner for a week.


CREDIT: Anonymous

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51 thoughts on “The Copy Machine”

  1. ENDING:
    “…out of toner for a week”
    *Creepy music plays*
    You: Meh
    *Pulls plug, removes all papers*
    You: Machines these days -_-

  2. How would you explain that to he other people at work?
    ‘Guys, I think the copy machine wants to kill me.’

  3. FAIL. 2/10

    This has no links of any sort! Just some pictures of you dead in different angles. After this pasta you deserve it! LOL

  4. Nya Apocalypse

    I think the really intriguing part here is “increasingly bizarre angles.” What, was there one where the dead body took in front of a mirror with its phone?

  5. The Copy Machine where I work is pure evil, and I bet it would totally wheel itself down the hall and murder me, if my office wasn’t always locked and you had to have a key to get in. Thank Dog for that!

  6. Lies! I printed two xkcd strips and stuck them behind my desk just yesterday.

    But as I slowly turn my office chair, I see the work of Randall Munroe come to life. The stick figures have malice in their non existent eyes and the velocirapor starts slowly creeping out of the paper.

  7. Im alone at work. Naked too but that’s irrelevant. Anyway, how is my copier supposed to tear my eyes out? i dont think it has the precision needed to remove my eyes. it has a hard time warming up in the morning when i turn it on unless its been trolling me HARD i think this is unlikely.

  8. shortys roc my sox

    @ Nylak

    well i guess that makes since ok so they could leave it out for weeks i wouldn’t of really cared about that fact but it was scary only because my printer was printing something when i read it

  9. I’ve worked in university dorm offices for scholarship hours, and we’ve had copiers and printers out of toner for weeks, just because the workers never connected with the guys upstairs to get some new ink ordered. It happens, especially in small businesses, or where there are simeply a large amount of machines (seriously, if the ink’s out, use a different copier; there was nothing said to suggest there wasn’t more than one).

    And all the moaning doesn’t depreciate the creepiness of this pasta. I think it’s good stuff.

  10. shortys roc my sox

    anonymous is right but they couldn’t leave the copy machine with out toner any way because with in a week there is bound to b some one that needs 2 use the copy machine :P

  11. Nothing I’ve seen come out of a copy machine could be so Hi-Def that you could truly tell that it was you inside the room in the picture, nor could you tell that it wasn’t just a shopped picture of you sleeping on the job; just a prank by some coworkers.

    Besides, Anonymous is completely correct; what kind of company leaves any copy machine entirely out of toner for a week?

  12. What kind of business leaves their copier out of toner for a week? That is an inefficient and irresponsible business practice.

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