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project mkserver

Project MKSERVER

It doesn’t take a genius to know that the people who stay up late to read stories on a website called creepypasta.com aren’t the type to routinely get their beauty rest. As someone who has legitimately struggled sleeping my entire life, I’ve always thought people had their own reasons for …

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my daughter was attacked on facetime

My daughter was attacked on FaceTime

I’ll be honest, I’m not much of a family man. My career kept me away from my family for most of my daughters childhood, and once my wife died-absentee would be a generous description of me. Emotionally that is. It had been so sudden, and the love of my life, …

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My Sister Never Came Back From Her Film Convention; I'm The Only One Who Remembers Her.

My Sister Never Came Back From Her Film Convention; I’m The Only One Who Remembers Her.

I used to have an older sister. Her name was ‘Eileen,’ though she always preferred to be called by her first two initials: ‘E.V,” or “Evie,” as we’d often spell it. Evie was a fine sister—on one day she might have stood up for me against our father’s slurred contempt, …

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I know the real reason why silent hills was cancelled

I know the real reason why ‘Silent Hills’ was cancelled.

The following randomly appeared in my Gmail inbox in 2016. I have no idea who sent it and I have no idea why it was sent to me of all people. All I know is what it said: I know the real reason why Silent Hills was cancelled. For those …

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I Made a Computer Program To Predict the Apocalypse It's Not What You Think.

I Made a Computer Program To Predict the Apocalypse; It’s Not What You Think.

It began as a lark, really. I woke up one morning from a dream about the apocalypse. No, not a wild west apocalypse. Exactly how the world was ending wasn’t clear, I just knew that it was, and so I enrolled in the autoshop class at my local tech education …

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age is just a number

Age Is Just A Number

I was born on January 13th 1989 at six past seven pm. Why? Why that day? Why that hour of the night? Had I been born earlier or later, what differences would it all have made? Would it have made my parents happier? Would it have prevented their ineluctable separation? …

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Janie

Janie

“You never let me have anything or go anywhere or do what I want! I always have to follow your stupid rules! You don’t even know what it’s like to be a kid anymore. They didn’t even HAVE cell phones when you were 13!” Janie yelled, stomping up the steps …

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Never Use a Voice Recorder While You Sleep

I am a chronic sleep talker. Always have been. Everyone who’s ever slept in the same house as me will tell you that. My parents, siblings, friends, and especially my exes. They’re the ones who got an ear-full. It was something we’d laugh about in the morning, because most of …

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We Few Are Many

    Just the concept alone was enough to draw me in. “An internet underneath the internet. The dark web,” is how my old friend Kyle described it to me. It wouldn’t be until he gave me a list of links that I would truly understand just why people referred …

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Beta Test

Roxy’s Lounge. It was the sort of dimly-lit, mid-century styled bar that was too classy for me by half. In the real world, it’s the kind of place I’d have gone to get shit-faced on overpriced cocktails at a Game Developer’s Conference after-party. But that was in the old days, back …

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Rule 34

My first love was Misty from Pokémon. Those legs, that sass, she was absolutely perfect. No one else could ever compare. When I played the games, I’d hang around her gym and pretend that we were on a date. I built my team to be strong against her weaknesses so I could always protect her. I used to fantasize that she’d become intrigued by me when I had beaten her. That she’d become obsessed and fallen head over heels in love with me. It was just a silly fantasy, but I enjoyed it when I was younger.

I Found a Laptop Connected to the Deep Web

My local internet cafe is not much of a sight to behold. I think that’s what may have contributed to it shutting down for a couple of months back in June. The exterior was reminiscent of an abandoned shack with its dilapidated appearance and broken windows. However, after they cleaned …

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They’re Not Coming, They’re Already Here

“THEY’RE NOT COMING, THEY’RE ALREADY HERE.” That’s all the email said. No subject, no name, and the email account was clearly a junk or throwaway account linked to AOL mail. At first, I laughed at the ridiculously serious message, not paying it much thought. I used to sign up for …

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Never Meet your Number Neighbor

Has anyone else seen the post yet? The guy messages someone whose phone number is identical to his apart from the last digit, which is either one number up or down. I scrolled past it like any other post you see on the internet, gave it a quick chuckle and …

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An App Called Forbidden Fruits Gave Me More Than Good Food

It’s been three days since I last used an app called Forbidden Fruits and I’ve become weak to the point to where I can hardly stand for over five minutes. I’m coughing up blood, and I know that I have no choice but to open this goddamn app and make a new …

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The Truth Behind the Mandela Effect

Everything that people think they know about the Mandela effect is incorrect. The phenomenon has been occurring for years, only most dismissed it as a fluke. In the most severe cases those experiencing the effect were diagnosed as having some sort of mental illness, and subsequently medicated, or committed.  Then …

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Renaud Herbert Hansen

Mr. Hansen’s body was interred in a stately mausoleum of his own design years ago, and yet he still works for us.  I’m forced to interview with the remains of the sad dotard almost daily. The world honors Hansen for his invention of countless beloved animated characters, and it’s that …

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My AirPods Make Terrifying Sounds

I first wore the AirPods to the Stop and Shop. It was an incredible, other-worldly experience. I listened to the soothing voice of Neil deGrasse Tyson while picking through the broccoli. I learned about quasars while waiting in line for the deli. Things got weird, though, when I got to …

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The Living History Project

One of my least favorite parts about being a middle school history teacher is the bullshit “Living History” assignments we give at the end of every school year. Kids are supposed to sit with their grandparents and video tape, voice record, or transcribe their oldest memories for posterity (and for …

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