The Socratic Method
| Published on Creepypasta.com | May 2009 |
|---|---|
| Length | 136 words · about 1 minute to read |
| Story level | Micro |
| Reader rating | 4.8/10 from 263 votes |
| Category | Rites and Rituals |
A secret society meets once every three years at a small diner in West Virginia. To join, you must come to the American Grill diner located in Cricket at 9:30 PM on September the twenty-first. The only uniform is a heavy overcoat and a green tie. Order an “Eggs and bacon platter with coffee.” The waiter will tell you that the breakfast menu is unavailable, reply, “Well, just the coffee then.” You’ll be allowed to stay after closing time for the meet. The meeting itself is a meeting of minds and philosophy regarding immortality. The society is called “The Socratic Method.” They hoist their mugs at the beginning and end of the meeting and say “Death to Socrates.” It’s rumored a little hemlock is added to the first cup, and an antidote to the last.
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BUT WHO WAS SOCRATES?!
Ridiculous. I’m not gonna make an ass of myself by asking for breakfast at such a late hour, then poison myself with hemlock, of all things, to chat with a bunch of other people crazy enough to do that shit. This is why we invented the internet. I could chat with looneys about their philosophical persuasions without poisoning myself in a diner.
only in west virginia….
Stupid, worst thing ever posted.
I lol’d.
Mostly because I happened to be writing an essay on Socrates.
How did this make it up? I’ll take some of that hemlock coffee now, please. Don’t bother with the antidote.
“‘sup dave”
“alright, mike?”
“let’s get this thing started, then?”
“don’t see why not.”
“so, immortality then.”
“immortality.”
“there’s no such thing, innit?”
“guess not.”
“right.”
“right.”
“we really should talk about other stuffs. i mean, immortality is fine and all, but this is a pretty shit philosophy society, i must say.”
“adjourn this meeting and hit a proper pub?”
“yeah sure. antidote, please.”
i don’t get it … i raelly don’t.
Plotless pasta is plotless
This sounds like a failed attempt at a Holder Series story.
Fail pasta.
i really hate these ritual pastas who tell me what to order! sorry but this was awful.
No breakfast! THE HORROR!
@blahhh: Pretension?
what is the significance of having hemlock in your coffee and then drinking an antidote for it?
why not just not drink it…?
o.0 whaaa…?
WHO WAS HEMLOCK?
If at least it included some kind of actual danger of not getting the antidote, it might be less boring. :P
what the hell kind of a diner has a closing time?
Y’know, I just noticed something: it explicitly states at the beginning that the Socratic Method only meets once every three years, yet the instructions make it sound like it’ll work every damn year.
Obvious plot hole is obvious.
@ Cthulhu: Should’ve changed your name to Calculon just that once. It would’ve made it even funnier.
Perhaps if you set it in Kermit (real place). Though hillbilly heroin washed down with Mason jars of ‘shine would be more authentic.
No boos! I’m a KENTUCKY hillbilly and very proud of that 200+ year distinction (350+ if you add other Appalachian states). :-)
@ Pastalover. That should’ve been put in there. It would’ve made it a helluva lot better. =/
But hemlock has no antidote….
And it kills almost instantly… fail.
this pasta tastes like shit
THEN WHO WAS GREEN TIE?
Is the waiter in on it or does he just think there’s a lot of dipshits in ties wanting breakfast at night?
Well, this is definitely the most believable ritual pasta I’ve ever read, if only because it doesn’t really involve the supernatural or anything particularly out of the ordinary (except the hemlock…I just…no. Biology fail on many levels).
It’s definitely not creepy, though.
You only understand it if you know the history of Socrates. It makes sense to me.
this was written before pastas were creepy.
this am be not yes
This pasta has no creepy in it at all.