One of my least favorite parts about being a middle school history teacher is the bullshit “Living History” assignments we give at the end of every school year. Kids are supposed to sit with their grandparents and video tape, voice record, or transcribe their oldest memories for posterity (and for […]
The Living History Project Read More »
I’m sitting here in my basement, freezing my ass off in my boxers and more terrified than I’ve been in my entire fucking life. It’s almost 3am, I don’t want to wake up my wife and I sure as hell don’t want her to ask what I’m writing about. I
I hadn’t been to my childhood home since my parents got divorced. I was five years old when I was last in that home. It was very important to me to have my home in my possession. My Dad built half of the house and the entire backyard. Now that
I’m Not Afraid of the Basement Read More »
We got to the hotel late. The kiddo was a mess, and so was I. I’d let Sally sleep through the flight while I tried to keep our two-year-old girl from having a total meltdown. As the plane started its final descent, my relief was punctured by an absolute nightmare
“So, you think your husband is trying to kill you?” “Yes! He is, I know it. I know he took life insurance policies out of me. Well, we did it together, actually…” “But how does that prove that he’s trying to kill you?” “He is, just trust me. You’ll be
I Kill One Person Per Year, It’s My Job Read More »
“Halloa! Below there!” When he heard a voice thus calling to him, he was standing at the door of his box, with a flag in his hand, furled round its short pole. One would have thought, considering the nature of the ground, that he could not have doubted from what
I just killed myself for breakfast. I sat in my 100+ degree car, reeking of maple syrup and incapable of many coherent thoughts save for that one. It swayed through my mind like a dead leaf, falling into my consciousness by random assignment. I had been up since 4:30 in
They gave me a million bucks to keep my trap shut, and I did, for fifteen years. But last night I was making the rounds, and I saw the professor again. I had a heart attack three years back, and I tell you, when I saw him standing there in
The Harvard Wormhole Experiment Read More »
There’s this painting my wife loves, called “Death and Life”, by Klimt. I don’t know what she finds so fascinating about it. I made all the right noises when she showed me her beloved framed print when we were first dating, “oohing” and “ahhing” and making up some bullshit about warm
A few days ago I got a text message from an unknown number reading “I got your proof.” I stared at the words for a bit, thinking it was a wrong number. Then I remembered the last time I’d spoken to Jeremy. Jeremy, my younger cousin, was a character, to
A Beginner’s Guide to Blood Portals Read More »
My name is Jim. I’ve been in and out of construction contracts for the last seventeen years. Between those contracts, I do what I can to make a few extra bucks, since you never really know when the next contract will show up and unemployment pays you just enough to
I Drive for Cerber Read More »
Part 1 I’ve been many different things at different points in my life. I’m an eight year veteran of the United States Marine Corps who served in the Gulf War. I was, for a relatively short time, a husband and father. I’ve worked in construction, trucking, food service, and many
I’m a researcher studying Canada Geese for the last ten years. I’ve never published my research. Specifically, my small team and I study a small population of Canada Geese that migrates to Arizona during the winter months from Alaska. This work mostly involves checking the new adults tagged during the
The Canada Geese of Lake Pleasant Read More »
There’s a small village out in Alabama called Saint’s Glen. You won’t find it on any map, at least not since 1965. But you can still find the remnants of the town. If you follow the river southwest of Thomasville, you’ll find it, somewhere in the woods between Jackson and
On November 24, 2005, there was a disturbing occurrence at Disneyland. It was an average day at the wonder-filled amusement park. Families were scattered throughout the park, the excited squeals of children rang out over the crowds, and Disney mascots wandered around and posed for pictures. Suddenly the magic of
I grew up with a healthy fear of clowns, I’d say. Could’ve been because of Stephen King, could’ve been because of John Wayne Gacy, could’ve just been because they’re fucking creepy looking. My family has never let me live it down, so it shouldn’t have been a surprise to me
My Sister Brought Home A Clown Read More »
My mother always told me to stay away from Jamie Robert Mitchum. Maybe I should have listened to her. I guess I didn’t really understand why at the time. I guess children are more trusting. Sure, he was strange. Anybody could see that. Jamie was the type of kid to
The Unfortunate Life of Jamie Robert Mitchum Read More »
The Old Lie of the Dead Lands ‘frankness as never before, disillusions as never told in the old days, hysterias, trench confessions, laughter out of dead bellies. There died a myriad, And of the best, among them, For an old bitch gone in the teeth, For a botched civilization.’ –
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“Dad, you said you’d play catch with me!” I yelled as my father walked past me to his office, where he spent most of his days when he wasn’t at work. “I’m sorry, bud, I’ve gotta get these documents done for tomorrow’s big meeting. We’ll do it another day, okay?”
The Portal in the Woods Read More »
My name’s Abigail Stitcher. I’m 15 years old, and I think I’m being followed. You see, I live in a relatively small town, with a population of 1,476 or so. Birch Run, they call it. Nothing’s ever really happens there, aside from the occasional fire or robbery committed by some
I Think I’m Being Followed Read More »
In central Vermont you have to drive to get just about anywhere. In high school, once I had my own car, I built up a mental map of roads good and bad, this giant web linking my house, my school, my friends’ houses, my mom’s work, my dad’s house, my
The Strigil Institute Read More »
I met my girlfriend’s nightmare on the night of our three-month anniversary. It might have just been that point in our relationship — the point when she had grown to really trust me — but it was probably the champagne. We fell asleep together on her couch and I woke
Monsters Are Better Than Nightmares Read More »
I don’t know about everyone else, but I have always had terrible vision. Generally, it gets worse from year to year, but there are some years I’m able to skip the decay. I wear contact lenses because I’ve tried to avoid the nerd stigma my whole life, I’m not entirely
Don’t Wear Contacts Made by NewLife Vision Read More »
I’m a reporter in Southern Oregon. This is the story that you will never read in my newspaper. It starts with Georgina Hicks. Ms. Hicks lived in a trailer at the end of the pavement on Oak Street. Not the end of the road mind you, just the end of
The Forgotten Screams Read More »
