Becoming a parent changes everything. We have implicitly accepted the notion that all things in life should be regulated for orderly consumption. I expect to know exactly how much manganese is in my Froot Loops, thank you very much, because a bureaucratic sub-sub-committee in Washington wrote it into Agricultural Bill 3301913-B, just
DISCLAIMER: None of this information has been released to the public. What I’m about to share with you is highly confidential. My superiors at the bureau are trying their best to keep these killings a secret to avoid panic, but I can’t keep my mouth shut any longer. You all
The Mysterious Case of The Noir Family Read More »
Unexplained phenomenon is a staple in human culture. Strange goings-on, paranormal in nature, are prominent in our lives, in one form or another. You may not think about them all that often, but there’s always a piece in the news or a crazy story from a friend or passerby that makes you recall such strangeness. No matter how many times you forget about the subject, there will always be a moment that drags the notion back to the surface of your memory. For several years, I had forgotten all about the monster living in my mom’s pantry. I had forgotten all about it, that is, until now.
The Monster in the Pantry Read More »
Samantha told me about it on our third date. We were watching a movie on her couch when I made my move to kiss her. She whipped her hand in front of my face and blocked me. “There’s something you need to know,” she said. I braced myself. Here it comes.
My Wife Has a Removable Face Read More »
My grandfather is 95 years old and doesn’t have long left in this world. There’s nothing but a mess of tubes and wires to tether him here with us. It’s difficult for him to speak, but each rasping whisper carries a severe weight that cannot be interrupted. My
An Old Man’s Last Secret Read More »
The sleeping mind fascinates me; namely the nighttime hallucinations we call ‘dreams.’ Because of this, I keep a journal to record every thought that passes through my brain at night. I set at least one alarm each day so that I’m able to wake up during my REM cycles and
How To Exit Your Body Read More »
That first night, I knelt in the soil and said the words aloud. “This is my wish. This is my want”. Elewyn had nodded, in approval of the words. I knew what I wanted. I knew what I was saying. Somehow though, even then, it felt wrong. I first went
Every city claims to have them, and every city will tell you that theirs is the best. Most larger places will lay claim to having quite a few. I am of course speaking of secret bars. The kind of bars with no name out front, where a secret password is
3:30 p.m., 1-September: One three-person party entered the Rio Grande National Forest in Hinsdale County, Colorado. They consisted of Trevor Nyson (37 years old) and Matilda Nyson (33 years old), a married couple, and Benny Nyson (8 years old), their only son. 5:31 p.m., 1-September: Trevor and Matilda, highly distraught,
Monster Hunting and Other Inadvisable Behavior Read More »
It was one of those nights where nothing went according to plan. An evening out with friends, but I couldn’t find a parking spot anywhere around the place. Two blocks down the street, then hustling through the chill, puffing breath like smoke. All that only to discover I’d shown up
From Inside a Human Zoo Read More »
So, I discovered the meaning of life. Or at least, that’s what my eager customers are led to believe. You see, two or three times a month, I post a listing titled “The Meaning of Life” to various auction sites. I couple it with a sappy picture of a sunset
I Discovered the Meaning of Life Read More »
“Drip, drip, drip…” The sound of crystalline orbs of sweat dripping from my skin delivered an internal soundscape. The first few moments, I wasn’t bothered, but the repetition became increasingly unpleasant – especially when combined with the intense heat; a feeling reminiscent of a campfire invading my privacy. Needless to
No one knows where it came from. No one knows why it showed up in our little town, of all places. The only thing we knew for sure was that it was bizarre. The statue appeared in the town square about 2 weeks ago. It sits in the
Small Town Mysteries Read More »
So… I stole a laptop from an internet cafe. Judge me all you want, but times are tough and that’s hardly the point of what I’m about to tell you anyway. Apparently the owner of it was quite adept at navigating the deep web, because a Tor browser page was
I am a chronic sleep talker. Always have been. Everyone who’s ever slept in the same house as me will tell you that. My parents, siblings, friends, and especially my exes. They’re the ones who got an ear-full. It was something we’d laugh about in the morning, because most of
Never Use a Voice Recorder While You Sleep Read More »
(A short film based on The Attic in the Basement, winner of Best Director in the BC Student Film Festival) “Quiet down, back there!” I yelled whilst driving down an all too familiar road. My best friend and his girlfriend wouldn’t stop laughing loudly with each other, much like young
The Attic in the Basement Read More »
This is roughly a true story. True in that it was told to me by my father, rough in that his memory had decayed with age, leaving his recollection of the year 1975 a bit scarred. He asked me to write it down a few years back, but I never
Just the concept alone was enough to draw me in. “An internet underneath the internet. The dark web,” is how my old friend Kyle described it to me. It wouldn’t be until he gave me a list of links that I would truly understand just why people referred
The red lights are only making the pain worse. It is an immense, earth-shattering pain, in my midsection and in my head. I try to move, but I can’t; I try to speak, but I can’t do that either. It hurts too much, and my voice obeys me no more
What Happens When the Stars Go Out Read More »
In my hometown, there is a unique shop of oddities called “HexWorks” that I frequent. It’s an old-world boutique that specializes in niche products that I’d describe as being vintage-style with a modern spin. Their items include cloaks, pocket watches, lapels, bizarre art prints, lavish jewelry, and Victorian
Never Use Cheat Codes on a Ouija Board Read More »
Old houses have a spirit of their own. We don’t usually notice during the day when the sun is warm and the windows are open. Fresh breeze carries familiar scents from the garden and the flowering jasmine vines snaking their way through the crumbling stonework. There is always too much
The House That No One Built Read More »
There I was, sweating in my uncomfortable seat, surrounded by the sounds of obnoxious unsynchronized clapping. Todd Howard had just made his usual appearance on the annual E3 gaming expo stage. The crowd was anxious, awaiting their anticipated announcements, ready to possibly be disappointed. Myself? I wasn’t
Have you ever wanted to love someone, but couldn’t? That’s how I felt about Tammy. We never should have gotten together in the first place, but it was her birthday and I didn’t know what I was getting myself in for. She invited all five of us from the office
My Wives Don’t Get Along Read More »
As a traveling convention planner, I stay at many hotels over the course of a year. I spend about a week per trip in an all-expenses-paid suite of my choosing, doing nothing but studying the location and interviewing the staff on hand to get a feel for the hotel and
A Mysterious Elevator Took Me To a Hidden Floor Read More »
