Nice To Meet You
Hello.
Its nice to finally meet you. Finally? Oh, its uhh.. I’m just overjoyed to have someone to talk to. Oh, I cannot express how happy I am to have this opportunity.
Oh? Why am I so happy? Its really quite simple. The last few years of my life have been torturous. I mean, god… Oh thats a funny saying. God. No loving god would let any of his children go through what I have. But now I have someone to talk to. Oh glorious day!
Oh where to begin? I think it was a day much like this one. I went to the library with some friends to find something to do over the upcoming weekend. We got there just before the library opened and found an hourglass on the stairs. Real ornate looking. Gold encrusted and whatnot. We were pretty bored, so we turned it over, set it down, and got to talking. Few minutes later, the librarian shows up. As it turns out, he showed up at the same instant the last grains of sand ran out of the top chamber.
We didnt find anything at the library, but did have a new hourglass. We spent the rest of the day just hanging out at my place. We talked, enjoying the entertainment the media provides. We figured out the hourglass lasted about forty-five minutes. I cant remember when we did this, but thats about how long. Before it got dark, we went to go for a walk. Nice, leisurely stroll. I remember turning the hourglass over before we left. I mean, not intentionally. We were just playing with it, and I put it down, sand on top. We left. 4.30
One of my friends asked me the time. I remember glancing down to my watch. I was about to say 5.15, but then I heard the screeching of tires. I heard a shriek, and looked up. A car was backing away from us while another of my friends lay crumpled and bleeding in the middle of the road. His neck was clearly broken. We spent the rest of the night at the police station filling out statements. They never caught the driver. Knowing what I know now, I doubt there ever was a driver. Just some car.
We were sitting in my place a week later, absently fiddling with the hourglass. We set it down and forgot about it, talking about our lost friend. It was forty five minutes later when it happened. Exactly forty five. The other of my friends began to gasp for breath, holding his chest. CPR did not work, nothing did. He died of a heart attack. At our age. Ridiculous.
The other guy in the room that day was also with us on the walk. We havent talked since. I was sitting in solitude, head in my hands, grieving over my friends. It was then I realized that they had both died forty five minutes after the hourglass was turned. I wanted to be rid of the cursed object. I wanted so deperately to be rid of it, I did not consider what was to happen. I went and left it on the library steps again. I went back the next day, and it was gone. I would never see it again.
But things kept happening. Seemingly random, but I could only assume that the new owner was turning it over. Life was going terrible. The girlfriend I had made dumped me for another man. My friends trickled away. Oh but I was never alone. I would hear whispers. Laughing. Footsteps. Yes. Footsteps walking across the room I was in, and I could see nothing. It was so unnerving.
For awhile, it was only in the dark. But then, it started in the day too. Wherever I went, I head this laughing, mocking me from a place I could not see. I suppose if it had stopped there, I would have been fine. It didn’t.
I awoke one night the the smell of death. I also could not move. I became aware of a breathing sound mere inches from my face. It began to whisper. I could not understand it. I tried to sit up, but I felt a searing pain as something unseen tore into my chest. It ripped something out. I’m still living now, but the scars are there. Always and forever. I remember what happened after, too. I felt the air rush against my face, and heard the flap of leathery wings. I heard them fly out my door, and then a crash. When I regained my ability to move, I ran to where I heard the sound, and found a broken window.
I live with them every day. I hear whispers, laughs, taunting me. I try to block them out, but then I feel cold fingers wrap around me, and feel myself inexplicably led towards danger. This is why I can only be in crowded places. Someone to pull me away. Break the grip of whatever has got a hold of me.
I’ve moved around a lot. But they followed me. I knew it was pointless, so I gave up. I moved back here, to the place I lived years ago. Then, I saw you. I knew I had to talk to you. You were special. And during our conversation, I figured out why.
Nice to meet you. I’m you.
—
Credited to TheCoffinDancer.
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It would have been more effective if maybe the ‘visitor’ at the end was about to turn over the hourglass. Or was the overturned hourglass coming to finish unfinished business?
” I’ve moved around a lot. But they followed me. I knew it was pointless, so I gave up. I moved back here, to the place I lived years ago. Then, I saw you. I knew I had to talk to you. You were special. And during our conversation, I figured out why……
I had to stop the last grain in your hourglass. ”
I don’t know – something to that effect maybe?
Oh snap!! That’s freakin’ creepy!!
Not even touching on the plot, because it’s been covered above, but people think this is well-written? The grammar is terrible.
“The girlfriend I had made” …what? You made your girlfriend, or you HAD a girlfriend? Also, commas. You need them.
BUT WHO WAS BROKEN WINDOW?
BUT WHO WAS SAND O_o
but who am i
Do not understand! If I went through shit then went back in time to talk to me, I’d recognise me straight away and be able to warn myself, and things would change. If it was in the future, then there’d be no point in telling me my life story as I would already know it.
I was getting creeped out until the shitty ending. Doesn’t even make sense.
Eh, i’ve read better, but it seems like it’s missing something.
You’re me? No, I don’t think so. The rest was good, but that ending was absolutely wretched and totally out of left field…
WTF happened there?
@ Tyto:
I was thinking the exact same thing.
Indeed, ending seemed quite off. It was sort of nice for the hourglass not to mysteriously come back, but then things started to go too different.
I’d say: make a few more references to the hourglass later, and give it an ending that actually makes sense.
no you’re not me. Get out of my living room
Then who was reference?
and who was pissy commenter
LOVE IT! I actually think the twist at the end was brilliant, i think your giving not enough credit. I loved this pasta :)
last lie killed it
other ten that great, rewrite tthat last line and yuve got 9.5/10if not a 10
goodo
this is weird????
I feel it left something to be desired. The ending was less than satisfactory. Perhaps it could have been improved if it was a bit longer? I feel like the ending was too rushed and sloppy.
but who was PHONE?
I agree… this post has too many different themes going on: the end result is an ineffective pasta that leaves each theme barely touched upon…
It’s a really good idea, just have to run with it more and not chop it where detail is or isn’t needed.
I agree with what the rest of them said, the ending twist didn’t really seem to fit. It had some real potential, though I was expecting them to keep the hourglass, and it would turn over on its own or the sand would still fall even if they turn it upside down, and he’s typing the story as the last grains of sand run out…
The main thing I didn’t like was how the bad things began to happen with the hourglass, but when it was removed everything just got worse. Maybe they could’ve tried getting rid of it, but they see it everywhere they go until it runs out.
But it’s your choice, not my story. I need to cook up a pasta of my own one of these days.
Agreed, Sigma.
THEN WHO WAS YOU?
BUT WHO WAS THIS FUCKING JOKE HAS GONE ON WAY TOO FUCKING LONG AND NEEDS TO FUCKING DIE?
BUT WHO WAS DRIVER?
BUT WHO WAS WINGS?
BUT WHO WAS YOU?
BUT WHO WAS CAR?
BUT WHO WAS HOURGLASS?
Oh, and why did they (I?) have no one to talk to? I don’t get it.
Confusing. It’s like you started with one story then picked up another. Not the best pasta. =/
I give it… 8/10. Pretty well-written for the most part – I just didn’t like the “I’m you!” twist at the end. Otherwise, though, good job. I particularly liked how, even after “I”/the character took the hourglass back, someone else kept turning it and wreaking havoc on “my”/the character’s life. :3
Skipped half of the pasta to the conclusion because it was so freeking boring.