Grave Mistake

My little girl is my entire world.

I remember the first time I held her. I fell in love instantly—a love I didn’t know I was capable of. At that moment, I knew she was going to be everything to me.

Before I met you, I made a horribly grave mistake.

And you need to know what I did.

I have to warn you. Prepare you.

Not to justify my decisions, but hopefully to help you understand.

Let me start from the beginning.

Where I grew up, kids dreamed of leaving our small town, but no one ever seemed to get anywhere. Sooner or later, they all accepted their fate. They settled down with a wife, a few kids, and a job where everyone else worked.

My town was named Millhaven, a place known for being rundown and impoverished. It was a close-knit community, which meant everyone knew everyone else’s business, and word traveled fast. The town sat next to a factory that produced aircraft parts: Skyward Inc.
I remember the name being printed across all of my dad’s old work shirts.
That was before he got a promotion and had to buy a collection of fancy suits for work.
All my friends’ dads worked there too. It was a generational revolving door of fathers and sons—living and dying while the factory aged gracefully.

Every year, they threw money into renovations. The building had to be the best-looking place in town, a symbol of wealth and prosperity.
In reality, it was more of a mockery to everyone who worked there and was barely scraping by.

At least, that was the case for years. Until tragedy swept through Millhaven. There was a horrible accident that caused a lot of those men to lose their jobs. An airplane had crash-landed after suffering malfunctions at 20,000 feet in the air.

Thirteen passengers died.

They inspected the plane after the crash, but the results were inconclusive. There were rumors, however, that the accident had been caused by parts manufactured at my dad’s factory. Some big-time executives made shady deals to ensure the truth never reached the media. Some of my friends had to move after that, and I never saw them again. Looking back now, it was a string of misguided luck that they got out of Millhaven when they did.

It had been a few weeks since the accident when the town began to take on a new shape.
Things started changing around us. The air felt thick and heavy, to the point where you could feel it pressing down on your body. Every breath became labored, as though it required thought and effort just to fill your lungs. Even then, the air left your lungs feeling strained and uncomfortable. The only relief was when you made it indoors. Millhaven began to look like a ghost town to anyone passing through. The sun refused to emerge from the clouds for weeks at a time.

The strangest part was the sky. It had developed this glowing red tint—the same color you see when a devastating forest fire consumes the horizon. A sky that seemed to send one unmistakable message: Get away from here. Danger is approaching.

My mom, Diana, would try to bring it up to my dad, but I remember him simply ignoring her.
I found it strange that he wouldn’t acknowledge my mother or comfort her. He was usually more compassionate than that. He loved his family. He sacrificed a lot to make us feel special. Whether it was through gifts or his time, he was always putting everyone before himself.

Why the sudden change? I asked myself that constantly.

My mom and I assumed he was under a lot of stress at work with the promotion and new responsibilities. He put on a facade around us, but the grey hairs gave him away. He started spending long nights at the office and wasn’t home as much. I started getting nightmares whenever he wasn’t there.

One night, I was asleep in my room when I woke up with the unmistakable feeling that I was being watched. I sat up and scanned my room.

The slightly open door.

The closet.

Then the toy chest beneath my window.

Slowly my eyes moved up toward the window.

That’s when I saw them.

People were standing outside my window, staring in at me. They were piled on top of each other, pressed against the glass so they could all have their eyes on me. They all wore the same expression, like they were in shock, but also in immense grief. They were covered in wounds. Cuts. Gashes. A few of them were severely burned. They were waiting for me to meet their wide-eyed gazes. It felt like they needed me to look back so they could tell me something. I resisted. I wanted to run. I wanted to call out for help. But I was utterly paralyzed, sitting upright in my bed.

I could feel their eyes piercing into mine as I stared at the poster on my wall, doing everything I could to avoid them. I tried waking myself up, but nothing worked. They weren’t going to leave. So I had to look back. I didn’t know who to look at. There were so many of them. No matter where my eyes darted, their eyes followed. Then I saw a little girl. She looked about my age.
Her skin was pale, and her wide, sunken eyes were surrounded by dark circles. Somehow, she seemed like the best option. Maybe she would have sympathy for me. I held her stare for what felt like an eternity. Then, slowly, in unison, they all raised their right hands. They began motioning for me to come toward them. I was standing now, directly in front of the window.
I took one step forward. They took one step backward. I took another. Again, they stepped back.
Once I was near the window, I understood. They wanted me to follow them. Instead, I turned around and ran as fast as I could toward the living room. I heard them all smack against the window behind me. I didn’t look back. Whether they were chasing me or not, I wasn’t going to find out. I made it to the living room and found my dad sitting on the couch, watching some rerun of an old TV show.

Calmly, he said, “Hey, son. Why are you running out of your room? Did you have another nightmare, buddy?”

I couldn’t speak. I just looked at him. I noticed the empty beer cans on the floor and the glow of the television against his face.

“Well, I can’t sleep either,” he said. “How about you come lie down with me for a while? I could use some company.”

Still in shock, I was desperate for comfort. I didn’t say a word. I walked over to the couch and lay beside my dad, resting my head on his lap. He started rubbing my back with his heavy hand. This used to be a nightly ritual for us. Watching old TV shows and falling asleep on the couch. Then he’d carry me to bed and shut the lights out after telling me goodnight. This night felt different though. This night, in his raspy voice, he said,

“I’m so sorry, son.”

The next morning, I woke up on the couch to the sound of my mom and dad talking in the kitchen.

“Seriously, Wes. I mean, I feel like Millhaven got sent straight to hell,” Mom said.

“I know it. I know it. Hopefully, this storm clears up soon, honey,” my dad replied reluctantly.

“Storm? A storm lasts for months? You know the news isn’t even covering any of this? They keep saying seventy-five and sunny. Hello! The air feels like death, and the sky looks like hell.”

“I had a nightmare last night,” I interjected.

“Baby, you did? You poor thing. What happened in your nightmare?”

As I started explaining what had happened the night before, my dad abruptly stood.

“I have to leave for work.” He grabbed his keys and his coat, then left out of the side door.

My mom listened to my story and comforted me the best she could. She said I could miss school for the day, but I didn’t want to be anywhere near my room for a while, especially by myself. So I went to school. I was wary of everything, checking my surroundings constantly and looking at people fearing they might be staring at me. Everything seemed normal. Until the last class of the day.

My teacher asked me to stay a little later after class so she could talk about a test we’d taken.
I thought maybe I had failed it, or maybe she thought I cheated. When the bell rang and all the kids had left, it was just Mrs. Lotts and me. She sat behind her desk, staring at me for a while.

“About the test, I was only glancing at Leena’s test. I didn’t cheat if that’s what you’re thinking.” I said, trying to sound convincing.

Mrs. Lotts wasn’t saying anything. She just kept staring. When suddenly, her face started to morph. Her eyes widened and sank deeper into her face. Her skin went pale white. I recognized it instantly. She had the same stare as the people from the night before. I started to tremble.
My body locked up as I stood there, staring back at her. She began to speak in a deep, menacing voice.

“Tonight they will be back.”

She paused.

Tears began rolling down my face.

“They will lead you into the woods. Don’t keep them waiting.”

Softly weeping, I replied, “I don’t want to go.”

It answered,

“You do not want me to come to you!”

Mrs. Lott’s face suddenly went back to normal. She looked at me with concern.

“River, why are you crying? What’s wrong, sweetie?”

Without a word, I ran out of the classroom. I ran all the way home, crying uncontrollably, hoping no one would see me and try to help. I knew there was no way anyone could help me. Having to explain what was happening would only add to the torment and make me look insane. When I got home, I went straight into my room. I was spiraling. I thought of every possible way I could get out of this, but the message had been clear. Either I went with them … Or it would come to me. I had accepted my fate.

As the day went on, I sat in the living room looking out of the bay windows. Avoiding my room as much as possible, hoping that, miraculously, this one time, the sun wouldn’t set. But it did. And my self-delusion crumbled. Mom made my favorite dinner, chicken alfredo with garlic bread. It was unexpected, but fitting. I treated it as my last meal. I hugged my mom as tightly as I could. She held the hug a little longer than usual.

“I love you.” I said before going to my room.

With a somber expression, she watched me as I closed my door and locked it.

I grabbed a jacket. Tied my shoes. And waited.

I focused on the window for what felt like an eternity. I looked away for a second to check the time on my digital clock. When I looked back at the window, they were there. Same formation as before. I jumped back slightly out of fear, then scanned all of their eyes until I found the little girl again. I went to the window and opened it. As I started climbing out, I didn’t want to turn my back to them. I thought if I did, they would attack me or start dragging me into the woods.
I was almost out when my foot got stuck. I fell flat on my face. Quickly, I got to my knees and frantically looked up at them. The people didn’t make any sudden movements. They stood like statues. Except for the little girl. She reached out her hand and helped me back to my feet.
Then they began walking toward the woods. And I followed. After a while, I stopped. I began to weep. The people stopped too. They turned around and stared at me as I cried. Suddenly, the little girl walked toward me. She hugged me softly. Grabbed my hand. And we started walking again.

When we reached the woods, a glowing red light flashed across the sky, revealing a massive shadowed figure stretching across the spruce trees. The people who had brought me there formed a half-circle to my left and right. I looked up. And there it was. A distorted figure with curled horns sharpened at the ends, attached to a long skull that appeared broken in places.
And it wore a mocking grin. Then I heard footsteps coming from deeper in the woods. It was coming toward me. With each step, the shadow became smaller, slowly making its way off the trees.

Whispers started coming from all directions. The whispers became louder. Until they turned into agonizing screams. Frantically, I looked around. There was nothing but darkness and trees.
I was reaching my breaking point, engulfed in anxiety and panic, sweating uncontrollably and unable to catch my breath. Then, suddenly…

Everything stopped.

Darkness.

Silence.

Like a light switch, moonlight flooded over us. And there was a tall man standing directly in front of me. He wore a fancy, tailored suit. He had a well-groomed beard and long, slicked-back black hair. His piercing green eyes surfaced from a sea of red. In the same deep, rumbling voice I’d heard from Mrs. Lotts, he said,

“Do you know why you are here?”

I shook my head no.

“Speak!”

The man’s voice was frustrated.

“No!” I replied.

“He didn’t even have the decency to tell you.”

His expression twisted.

“What a coward.”

He paused.

“His only son?”

“My dad?” I thought.

He continued.

“River, you have been burdened with a choice that will haunt you for the rest of your life. Your dad knowingly set off a sequence of events that caused a plane crash.”
He stared directly into my eyes.

“It killed thirteen people.”

My stomach dropped.

“This will not go unpunished, River. Someone must pay.”

“So you’re going to take my dad?” I asked.

“Everyone is given a choice. Your father was selfish with his choice and gave me you, River.”

He smiled.

“In return, he will be tormented for the rest of his days. I will cast mental and physical atrocities upon him of unfathomable proportions. He will wish for death, but I will not allow it.”

His eyes narrowed.

“This is what he wanted.”

He leaned closer.

“And now it is your turn.”

“I don’t want to choose!” I pleaded.

“I know but you must.”

His voice was calm now.

“The choices are quite simple. Accept responsibility on behalf of your father for the deaths of these people and sacrifice your own life as retribution.”

He paused.

“Or spare yourself and pass this same burden onto the person you love most in your life.”

I couldn’t breathe.

“I can acknowledge that you are just a boy. Nevertheless, someone must pay.”

He turned away.

“I will be back soon.”

Then he looked over his shoulder.

“And you will give me your answer.”

I fell to my knees. The man vanished. So did all of the people. And everything went dark.
I walked back home and climbed through the window back into my bedroom. Where I found my dad sitting on the bed. Looking at him, I saw tears in his eyes. He hugged me, giving me a fleeting feeling of comfort. Then the anger came. I started hitting his arms and chest with my closed fists.

“Why would you do this to me!” I cried.

He held me tighter.

“I’m so sorry… I didn’t know what to do! I couldn’t leave you and your mother.”

“Bullshit! You gave me up! You’re a selfish coward!” I yelled, recalling what the man in the woods called him. My dad didn’t respond.

I sank into my bed, contemplating everything that had happened. Feeling defeated.

“Just pass it on,” my dad said softly.

I looked at him.

“That thing hasn’t visited me since I made my choice. Everything went back to normal. Maybe we can just keep passing it on.”

That’s when I realized something. My dad didn’t know what was coming for him. And I didn’t have the heart to tell him.

“Do you know what this thing is?” I asked.

He replied,

“It said to call it Timoria.”

“Dad, I’m exhausted.”

“Yeah, son. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

He hesitated.

“I know you must hate me right now. I hope one day you can understand why I did what I did.”

He looked at me.

“Just know that I love you more than anything in this world.”

This was the last thing my dad ever said to me. He rapidly declined after that night.
The next morning, my mom found him sitting in the corner of the living room, whispering to himself.

“It’s not true. It’s not true. It’s not true…” Over and over again.

“What’s not true?” my mom asked.

“He’s a liar! I didn’t kill those people!” he screamed.

He continued rambling.

My mom called 911, and the ambulance took him away. Eventually, he was admitted to a psychiatric hospital.

Complete psychosis.

Delusions.

Hallucinations.

The doctors’ tried explaining all of this to us, all my mom could gather was that he was sick and not getting better anytime soon. But she remained hopeful that maybe one day he would snap out of it. He would go back to normal. We could be a family again. She held onto that hope for years. On my seventeenth birthday, we got a call from the hospital saying he had fallen into a coma. The day they took him away, I knew exactly what was happening. But I didn’t tell anyone.

That same day, I went to school early and went straight to Mrs. Lott’s classroom. I barged through the door, went right up to her desk, and said,

“I need to talk to Timoria!”

Confused, Mrs. Lott looked at me.

“Well, good morning to you as well. I’m sure you’ll see them during the day, hun. And who is that? One of your little friends?”

Realizing my brilliant idea was going nowhere, I ditched school and ran to the woods near my house.

“Timoria!”

I screamed into the trees.

“Timoria, I have my answer!”

I heard footsteps coming from the trees in front of me. Only I wasn’t afraid this time. I was angry.
I balled up my fists and yelled,

“Are you going to do the same thing to me? He’s lost his mind! You didn’t even warn him! You’re the coward!”

Timoria called out from the trees.

“I told you no one goes unpunished. Foolish boy, I showed mercy on him by concealing the truth. Don’t you understand that?”

The footsteps continued.

“Don’t forget, he gave you to me. You must understand that he sealed his own fate. Just as you will.”

“Will you have mercy on me?” I replied softly.

“Do you think I wanted this for you?”

His voice seemed to come from everywhere.

“Make your choice and be done with this.”

A pause.

“I will show you mercy, boy.” Then, softer:

“But when the time comes, I will collect what is owed.”

I took a moment to gather my thoughts. And finally…

I made my decision.

As I grew older, I never saw Timoria again. I learned to deal with the traumatic events I experienced. I lived my life afraid of everything for a while, until time started to heal me. I got as far away from Millhaven as possible, went to school and found some insignificant job. I met a beautiful woman and fell in love. Your mother. I thought I would never be able to love someone more. That was until I met you. My sweet daughter. Whitney.

I have regretted the decision I made every day since I met you. Then sometimes I think…
If I chose differently, I would have never met you at all. And I regret that just the same.
You’re so little now and I love watching you grow. Recently we had a first birthday party for you. You were so happy with your beautiful smile. We brought out a little cake with one lit candle on it. After we finished singing to you and mom helped you blow out your candle.
I heard that same voice that haunted me all those years ago and it said,

“Time is ticking River.”

I went weak in the knees, almost falling to the ground. I caught myself, keeping my eyes fixed on you accompanied with a smile. I don’t know what will become of me. I can only hope that Timoria will keep his promise to me and show me mercy. But If inevitably my mind starts to go, I want you to remember that every moment with you will have been worth it.

One day, hopefully in a very long time, you will have to make a choice. No matter what you choose, I need you to know…

I loved you more than anything in this world.

Credit: Millsstories