A Long Detour
The hitchhiker Andy picked up on that July afternoon was one of the stranger people he had met. She had, after warm thanks for stopping, and a moment or two of silence, proclaimed herself to be able to grant a wish. The conjuration she had performed in support of this was quite remarkable- once the sound of the cymbal had stopped ringing in Andy’s head, he was quite impressed.
Now Andy, good Christian that he was, was always of the opinion that you should do a good deed for its own sake, and not for material reward. He lightly waved away the images of wealth or power that the girl suggested. “My one wish, young lady, is to get you to where you’re headed!”.
The girl’s face contorted with fear as darkness fell outside.
//
Credited to Ultra.
You Might Also Like
Full-Size Candy Bars
There's a point in your life when the things that have happened to you just become stories. I…
Read Now
The Windwhisper
There was once a story my mother used to tell me, in hopes I wouldn’t turn out like…
Read Now
The Systelien Specter
Back in May of 2010, my best friend, Andy, and I wanted to make a video game that…
Read NowThe Farmer and the Scarecrow
I killed my best friend when I was thirteen. It wasn’t what I wanted, or what the others…
Read NowBurning Sage
“OK,” the woman screeched, her eyes the size of plates, a grin the size of a banana strained…
Read NowCopyright Statement: Unless explicitly stated, all stories published on Creepypasta.com are the property of (and under copyright to) their respective authors, and may not be narrated or performed under any circumstance.
At first I assumed she was a demon and his wish was to take her to where she was going (hell).
Then after I put thought into it I figured \"Hey what if she has NOWHERE to go\"
The darkness was the absence of everything (or as the author see\’s nothingness which is impossible to describe).
wth??? i didnt get it
Bloody excellent pasta….
LMAO! I love you, Dicky!
She was on her way to get reemed by a black guy. So, darkness fell upon them.
I believe the hitch-hiking girl was the Devil. It talked about Andy being a good christian. The Devil fought Saint Anthony (Andy?) through tempting him and the Saint defeated him through prayer. It speaks of wealth and grandeur, but it shows the good Saint being truly earnest and denying those things. I believe it is a battle between a Saint and the Devil.
good
good
This was my first pasta and the reason I programed it into my fav list. It was flawless and creepy and I loved it… and I totally HATED short stories in school, so I was not going in with an open mind. This is just splendid, in my opinion. She was in limbo, now has to go to her judgement, I think…? His reflexive “nice” answer ends up being the worst scare the ghost has faced in years, or perhaps decades, which is ironic. The intensity of the moment described is enough… we don’t need a plot, any more than we need a bio of the couple to enjoy an “oh, Baby, I love you!” rock song. It’s all about capturing that intense moment where everything comes to a head. 10/10 plus a gold star ;-)
I’m going to have to agree with the Anon after Creepshow. Personally, “as darkness fell around them” made me think it was getting dark…. AHHHhhhh~….. Okay then…. Turn on the headlights….
I’m gonna have to agree with “creepshow crooked” on this one, although I don’t think I hated it as much as they did. To me, it feels like the first bit of one of those “circle” stories, where one person writes one part and passes it to the next person in the circle, who writes the next part and so on…
why all the hate ?
Wow. That was FANTASTIC! My favorite pasta in a long time. That last sentence…just perfect. Good show, Ultra
10/10!!
Nice and short. Like a joke really, but with horror rather than humor.
Creepshow: U mad, bro?
5/10 – Neat pasta…but why the hell would the girl be afraid of where she came from if she’s obviously cool with living there?
I would say this is a prime example of a campfire story.
Exactly enough is known to get your imagination going, but not enough not enough to immerse you into the story beyond the initial chill.
Creepshow: Pasta quality is subjective.
Sorry, but the story fails in the simple fact that the reader, instead of sharing in her fear, is left to wonder what she\’s so afraid of. There is nothing in the story to lead us to draw a conclusion as to where she\’s going, so we\’re left shaking our heads.
Stating \"as darkness fell around them\" means even less. Is it supernatural darkenss, or did the author simply mean it was light.
Overall, the story is to convuluted to make much sense at all.
Wow… I think I finally get how this site runs now.
When something is good, they hate it. When something sucks, like this clearly does, everybody calls it “brilliant”.
This is bullshit, terrible pasta. It feels like the opening to a good story, but nothing is happening. It’s too short and too vague to build suspense(you know, the stuff that makes creepypasta CREEPY?) and what it does tell just falls flat without supporting details.
It read like an incomplete story. I have no clue why anybody finds this drivel good, just because it’s short. Do you monkeys not like reading or something? Then rent a fucking movie.
Fail pasta is fail. Not scary, not even interesting. -5/10
Fucking christians
I love it when some idiot says “First” only to have the moderator make their comment the 23rd one.
=/
I was very wary when I saw how short it was, but I love it!
Not really creepy, but I’m not picky.
I am happy with the extreme lack of detail. If you added anymore, I think it would have taken away from the story.
It was alright, as other people have said. It could’ve used a little more detail. The open ending was good and had the potential to be very creepy if there was a little more build up. 7.5/10
It’s good to see short pastas again. Many of the people who go “what?” and “huh?” are probably newer ones that were around when stories used to be vague and short.
Once again. lack of clarification bites a wish-maker in the arse, but pretty decent for a two-paragraph story.
i kinda thought of it as she headed to the place we all are going eventually, that is to die
Good and original :-)
very good it is *-*
I think that what happened was, he wasn’t actually going to take her anywhere. She was supposed to take him to a place where his wish came true. And so since ‘the place she wanted to go’ didn’t really exist, they ended up in nothingness.