A Long Detour
The hitchhiker Andy picked up on that July afternoon was one of the stranger people he had met. She had, after warm thanks for stopping, and a moment or two of silence, proclaimed herself to be able to grant a wish. The conjuration she had performed in support of this was quite remarkable- once the sound of the cymbal had stopped ringing in Andy’s head, he was quite impressed.
Now Andy, good Christian that he was, was always of the opinion that you should do a good deed for its own sake, and not for material reward. He lightly waved away the images of wealth or power that the girl suggested. “My one wish, young lady, is to get you to where you’re headed!”.
The girl’s face contorted with fear as darkness fell outside.
//
Credited to Ultra.
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Simply awe insipiring this was so simple yet amazing short and amazing the thing I love is that it takes a minute to realize what happend
I didn’t get this 1 at all
That’d be like if I said, “Once upon a time I was sleeping in a dark room. All of a sudden I heard the closet open. I looked to see a dark figure coming at me…”
Ooh, I set it up for your imagination! Surely, you can think of something creepy! Great pasta, no?
I hate when people can’t tell the difference between a good kind of vague and a stupid vague. If you repeated this to 10 people, most of them would be wtf.
It’s like you get wrapped up in “my imagination provides me with a good ending” to make you feel deep. No.
My first thought was Hell too, but this story still leaves something to be desired. There could be more detail without being too much longer or too vague. For example, the author has time to say the guy’s Christian. Overall, that’s less important to the ending.
There are still questions such as, “Wouldn’t she go there even if he didn’t make a wish; just afterwards? If not, why? How do these wishes keep her around? Just because she feeds off the greed? Is this meant to be similar to a demon having just been exorcised, now it must go back?”
It seems infantile. AND cliche. For a group who’s so into originality, you fail to realize your mind’s assumption is “predictable and cliche” for this setup. If you all think you’re so creative though, come up with a better ending.
This one was really good. I liked it. Though a little too short
I had a dream about where she might go.
Basically she didnt have a destination and would disappear after granting a wish. So the road disappeared and they “drove on into the night”. she kept begging him to make a real wish but he simply said “I wish to get you where you’re going” the car disappeared and it was just the two of them still sitting in nothingness. she begged him once more and he wished to get outta there but ended up leaving her behind in the nothingness.
whats worse is that in the dream i was her.
It was a nice story, and for those of you who didn’t understand it you have to notice the title. A long detour because the lady was heading no where. So now both of them are granted a wish, which is like being bound to fate, to journey to no where. I believe the author is making a point that in no where nothing can exisit or else it would be somewhere. The creepy part is I believe, that even the abyss is something, so much worse is nowhere.
wytt
seems short.
good
Uhm…i don’t get it…
\"is to get you to where you’re headed!\"
How does no one get the joke. He didn\’t choose his words carefully so that means hes taking her to a place where she shall be \"beheaded\".
Its not that complicated lol.
“is to get you to where you’re headed!”
How does no one get the joke. He didn’t choose his words carefully so that means hes taking her to a place where she shall be “beheaded”.
Its not that complicated lol.
Yeah sure okay.
“LOL I GETZ A WISH!?”
“BUT I’M A NICE GUY SO MY WISH IS TO TAKE YOU WHERE YOU ARE GOING WHICH IS WHY I GET A WISH”
“OH NOES WISH PARADOX! D:”
2/5
I didn’t get it at first, but after another read I was very impressed. Kudos to you!
Amazing, to put it simply.
I thought she was dreading riding in a car with Andy.
A perfect example of good creepypasta. Why people are confused or need any sort of elaboration is beyond me. Explaining every detail would ruin the mystery of it.
What is there not to understand? There are only 2 possible interpretations:
1. Like someone above me said, he sent her to where we’re all headed: to her grave, meaning the darkness is them suddenly being underground and she’s afraid of drowning.
2. She made a deal with the devil to get her wishgranting powers and is therefor headed to hell, where his wish took her prematurely, explaining her fear. And the darkness…well, no one said hell is all fore and brimstone…
Where are all human beings headed? To death, for one.
Meh. I understood it but I still didn’t like it. It was just too awkward and a bit on the blunt side for me. 3/10
wat.
She was a witch, he was a Christian. He killed her. The ‘darkness’ was death.
The kitchen is an awful place to be.
I think that since the girl was heading nowhere then the only true destination she had left was death. But once again…what type of \"human\" grants wishes?
Hm.
HMMMMMMMMMMMMM.
That was interesting. I’d like to see a bit more exposition near the end, though. She got scared, the sky got dark, and then… what? She spontaneously combusted? The car drove down the road, AND INTO HELL?
Hm. Anyway, I really liked the story in HooFlungPoo’s comment. That was a gooooood one. This was too, but a bit more vague than it could have been.
BUT WHO WAS CYMBAL?
But seriously, what was with the cymbal sound? That\’s my only problem with this story.
Refreshing, almost humorous ending, (leaving out the last line). I like it!
Now I can’t help but see this:
“I wish for proof of God’s existance”
“…HA! You actually think one of those exists!? Let me guess, you also believe in souls, right?”
“D:”
I didn’t have any trouble understanding it. He got his wish. He wasn’t clear enough with his wish though, so she went where we’re all ultimately headed: to her own grave. At least that’s my interpretation.