Upstairs
When I was a child I lived in a rented two-floor house. Both my parents worked so I was often alone when I came home from school.
One early evening when I came home the house was still dark.
I called out, “Mum?” and heard a voice say “Yeeeeees?” from upstairs.
I called my mum again, and again got the same “Yeeeeees?” reply.
I felt she was calling back at me and climbed up the stairs.
When I reached the first floor I called her once more and the voice “Yeeeeees?” came from the furthest room.
I felt both uneasy, but a strong urge to see my mother, and started to walk towards the room.
But just that moment I heard the front door downstairs open and my mother come in, carrying a lot of shopping bags.
“Sweetie, are you home?” my mother called in a cheery voice.
Hearing her voice made me feel instantly better and I turned back to go downstairs at once…but not before I had a quick glance towards the room.
While I watched from the top of the stairs, the door to the room slowly opened a crack.
For a brief moment, I saw something strange in there.
A pale face, staring at me.
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How did this shit make the frontpage?
BUT WHO WAS PALE FACE?
More sauce please. >: |
^ I lol’d
Pretty Good, Actually… has potential…
Chill the fuck out dude, I was drunk and I got the wrong house ok? God, why did you have to put this shit on the internet. Douche
BUT THEN WHO WAS VOLDEMORT
Oh, right.
Credited to Saya perhaps?
maybe it was pedobear’s grandfather?
Or the ghost of jackson?
who knows and frankly WHO CARES…
Gollum!
It was good when it first hit the net, but it’s old and to be frank: it’s got bits so poorly written I don’t even know what to say. Maybe “get an editor?”
“I felt both uneasy, but a strong urge to see my mother, and started to walk towards the room”
why a strong urge to see mommy? why not just curiousity? gay.
That was terrifying.
Not the story. The writing.
Honestly, it’s pretty creepy for a short pasta.
Straight to the point that I can easily imagine this happening to me in real life.
8/10.
…that’s it?
Kinda brings back memories of wandering around a relatives creepy house.
This sucks. 1/10
I thought narrator was walking in on their parents.
i am dissapoint.
That wasn’t scary at all, and felt like a real cop out of a story in general.
Bricks were not shat.
started out good but weakened off drastically afterwards.
UGH PALE FACE
I got bored once I read “When”. Come up with something creepier with more suspense plz.
THEN WHO WAS…
Oh… Wait.
It was EXTREMELY predictable, but was still creepy in my opinion.
micheal jackson???
It’s a joke, for anyone saying this story is weak. The pale face is michael jackson.
This pasta is moldy, old, stale, and undercooked. All at once. Could’ve had some potential with a lot more work. I’m a huge fan of the simple things that scare the hell out of you, but this was just: “So I walked home and I thought I heard my Mum and it was liek, this ghost thing. Yeah.” Sorry. Try again.
@ Vaughn: Don’t forget “Predictably disappointing”
Yesss yesss yessss, Are you sure that the dad wasent having an affair or somthing?
Had potential if it was not so short and with that HORRIBLE ending >> brix are laughing at you
Are you kidding me? That was so pedicable. Had too many lose ends. And wasn’t creepy at all! That is obviously this persons first pasta, AND, it wouldn’t even get a 0/10! More like -1/10. They shouldn’t have let the mother come in right away. Besides, he didn’t happen to think of the fact that he just talked to what I am guessing is some sort of doll. The mother should have come right when he was opening the door, to face his fate AND BE EATEN BY THE DOLL!!!!!!!! Muhahahahahah! Oh right so yeah, that’s what I say. (BTW, Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson is awesome!!!!!! JOE SHOULDN’T HAVE GOTTEN THE KIDS!)
calm down it’s just a story
If there were ever an appropriate time to say “too long; didn’t read”, it would be while reading this comment.
Meh? Yeeees.
Meh? Yeeeeeeeeeees.