Infected by Happiness

“Do you want to be happy?” The man next to me asked without turning around. I said nothing at first, my mind was occupied with dark thoughts. The last nights had been shaped by memories and sleeplessness. It took me a while to realise through the fog that someone spoke to me.
“Doesn’t everyone?” I asked with irony, barely taking the stranger’s question seriously. How did he know about my bad mood anyway?
“Not everyone gets the chance,” the stranger continued in a natural tone. Yet he still faced away from me. A dark coat and hat concealed his stature. A feeling like ants crawling on my skin took hold of me, although it was very faint. Something about this stranger was odd. Unsettlingly odd. I was on my way to university like every morning, the full train making it impossible to move. And the people talking to each other or their phone erased any awareness for the person next to them. So I guess it was no surprise no one but me noticed the stranger. I said nothing to him. My guts told me to be careful. To my relief the stranger didn’t say anything more either. When my train finally reached the right station, I hurried outside. A hand on my shoulder made me stop. I turned around to see the stranger’s face. A shiver seized my body and paralysed my mind.
“I could make you happy forever,” he continued our little talk. I couldn’t answer, his unnatural wide smile reminded me of some creepy Mickey Mouse horror story. The eyes were hidden beneath the hat’s brim. Not that I was eager to discover more. Acting on instinct I only answered that I was fine. At least I thought it was me answering, my voice sounded strange to my own ears. Forgotten was my heavy mood from the previous night, turned into what one might have called fright. Not waiting for a response, I turned away to be on my way. I looked over my shoulder a few times while walking, but no stranger in a coat followed. His creepy smile, though, had burned itself into my mind.

The day went on as usual and the routine of lectures and practicals let me calm down. Forgotten was my earlier dread until I entered the train bound for home. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a man in a dark coat. Instantly my mind went back to the morning’s encounter, but it was just an ordinary man. There was no big smile on his face. Perhaps I had only imagined the strange occurrence in the morning. Coming home, reading a book and listening to music did the trick like always. Before I knew it, I was falling asleep and waking up after yet another crappy night in the early morning. When I walked to the train station a woman crossed my way. Still half-asleep with my head in the clouds I barely avoided bumping into her.
“Sorry,” I muttered looking at her to see the reaction.
“No worries, my dear.” She frolicked with a smile. My heart dropped a beat at the repeated scenery of a plastic smile. She must have seen my shock because when I turned to hurry on, a ghastly laughter followed me. Echoing through the grey morning like ripples in a pond. Or was it just imagination? A product of my tired mind? Please God let it be a dream, I thought while walking. But it wasn’t a dream, deep inside I knew it. Ignoring the people around on my way to the faculty I just hurried on. I didn’t want to ponder what might be true and what might be the results of my sleepless nights. The lab would be safe. The lab was always safe. In there I knew what was happening. In there I didn’t have to think about people. Or the world in general. The sediment core for my assessment for one of my subjects was waiting. The long tube, filled with horizontal layers of soil was cut in half and lying ready for me on the long counter. It was very early, so there weren’t many other people there. Most started at nine o’clock, I liked to be almost done by then. When they came with coffee I would be only one more hour before packing my stuff and finding a suitable place for the following report. The different layers had to be categorised on a sheet of paper, colour, size of grains, form of grains it all had to be noted down together with the measurements concerning where in the core these different layers were located. I even dug up a large pebble here and there. A few, not very interesting fossils I found farther down close to the lowest layers of the core. Whilst at the top, I could name several traces left by burrowing animals and roots. I was almost through when the first other students arrived. One of them was what caused me to quicken the pace. He wore an unnaturally happy smile. He said nothing, not unusual for the people around me. Most seemed intimidated by my presence. But they also paid me no mind. That guy, though, kept staring at me again and again. Only to go back to his own task once I noticed. No one else seemed to realise. No one else was being stared at. I could have asked him what he wanted. But my inbuilt alarm system kept me from it. It was a dream. It had to be a damn dream. Denial got the better of me when I took my stuff and finished earlier than my perfectionism approved of. But I couldn’t concentrate with the creep around. I would just start on the report and come back later. Feeling the old familiar restlessness though, I didn’t stay in the faculty. I aimed straight for the door leading outside. My feet carried me homewards as if they had a will of their own.

It was on that way home when I had to face reality, more or less. I could feel the peoples’ stares outside. They were everywhere. I managed to admit to myself that someone must be playing some trick on me. After all, I had my experience with being the outcast, and although it hadn’t been my role for years now, I figured that perhaps someone just wanted to have some fun with that loner who never came to any parties. Whenever I turned to see, none was there. But I could feel eyes on me. The whole time. It was when I rounded the corner to cross the street where the tram used to drive that I saw. Several of the dozens of passengers inside the vehicle looked outside. Staring at me as soon as their eyes found what they were looking for. They were grinning, again. Their eyes followed me until I was too far away for them to see. A shiver ran down my spine. It was starting to get a habit. I shook my head. The tram was going at high speed, certainly I had just imagined things. The man in the coat was still in my head, ever since that encounter. The woman, the student, the people on the street, it was just my mind playing tricks. It had to be. Without any evidence supporting my shrewd observings, I brushed it off, once again. Only at home I noticed that my mind had all kinds of excuses to not focus on my work. It was infuriating me, the absurd idea of grinning people chasing me. And yet it upset me, more than I liked. Unable to clear my thoughts, I got drunk that afternoon. There is nothing better for a student than to clear one’s head from all the lectures by indulging in some good stuff to wipe the hard disk. It did not always work in my case, but it helped fairly well.

Another horror came two days later. I decided to go back to the university like usual, determined to prove to myself that this was nothing but nonsense. I started with lectures in the morning, ignoring the feeling of being watched and stayed until late in the evening to work on my assessment. There were only three or four students about at this time, all of us sitting for ourselves, working with our respective tasks. A fellow student asked me for a sheet of paper. I recognised the same plastic smile at once. I registered what was happening, ran through all other explanations only to find nothing in my brain’s database and sighed. Tired of running, I did the only reasonable thing.
“You seem to be happy. Having a good day?”
“The last days have all been good,” he answered, still displaying that smile of his which bordered toward insanity. A chill ran down my spine as he spoke. It wasn’t monotone, it wasn’t happy. But something in between giving off a hint of inhumanity. “Wouldn’t you like to be happy too?” He continued asking while his eyes grew wider. “You seem so terribly troubled by pain.” He was the same, he was the same as the stranger in the train. Something seemed to leer at me from inside my fellow student’s body. Something which examined me from that blank stare. His happy mask couldn’t fool me. “Once happy you will forget sadness.” The creature continued, I felt its words lulling me to sleep. Making my mind heavy and plump. Every hair on my body stood on end, a result of the adrenaline coursing through my veins.
“Need to go,” I said, getting up in one motion. I barely avoided the student’s hand which reached for me. Suddenly he fixed me with a hungry stare. Alright, that was a new observation. Up until now everyone had just stared at me, passively. This, this was assimilation for the lack of a better term. Whatever he was, whatever it was. I was now its prey. Not wasting time, I made for the door. The student followed, bumping into some unfortunate girl. I say unfortunate for what happened next was fascinating as well as terrifying. Upon coming in contact with the smiling maniac, she staggered. Then she remained still for a moment before she too started to smile. Wider and wider it grew until she fixed me with the same stare.
“What the hell?” But I didn’t have time to wonder, I had to run.
“Can’t you see how happy we are?” They said in unison, snickering with glee. Managing to slip through the closing door of an elevator, I could outrun them. The last thing I saw was their smile as they stared through the shrinking space between the doors. Yet the chase didn’t end. They were outside as well. I did not stop to put it to the test if those infected people would chase me too. I just kept running down the hill, to the train station. The train itself was almost empty, only a few sleepy passengers sat on their respective seats. None of them seemed to care for an out of breath student. I was grateful for not living directly in the city. My home lies on the other side of the mountain. It isn’t countryside but neither is it the bustling city. I went home without detours and locked the door. Something I usually didn’t bother with.

I did not go out, not back to university nor anywhere else for a few days. I was too shaken. I didn’t know how to deal with that kind of madness. Thing is, sitting at home caused me to feel trapped after a while. I needed to go out, get moving. The darkened streets of that small town were always devoid of people at night. Two or three am was the dead spot when absolutely everyone slept. Silently I slipped outside, onto the main street and into the neighbourhood next to me full of nice gardens and soft breezes. After days I finally breathed without being afraid of being seen. The cool night air was tranquil. Far ahead I saw a cat, it stopped to look at me. I looked back. It started smiling. The cat, smiled. I swallowed and stopped walking. Turning away again, the animal quickly walked across the street vanishing in a garden full of thick trees. I should have turned back at that point, but being almost fearlessly curious had always been one of my problems. So I kept walking until the way through the neighbourhood joined the large main street again. It was there when I heard someone running. I heard even more running behind him. I quickly ducked around the corner of a hedge.
“Get away from me you weirdos,” I heard a man call out. He stumbled or was somehow stopped right before rounding the corner where I stood. All I knew is that he fell silent, the other people didn’t talk to begin with. What I could feel was the shift in the air around. Something dark and threatening seemed to appear, or perhaps grow in the man as he was assimilated. I could hear his breathing growing calmer. Whilst my heart was starting to beat faster due to the danger around. Have you ever stood right next to mortal danger incarnate while only a thin wall of plants separated you from it? It’s like standing behind a tree trunk and on the other side would be a very pissed bear. Only that you would know what the bear was about to do. I couldn’t tell what this virus would do to me. Hook me up to the hivemind of happiness. I wasn’t interested in being part of the colony, hadn’t been at the best of times. Call me antique, but I did not like the idea of swapping out my soul for something blissfully fabricated. I would not even consider it. I kept standing frozen in place until I heard footsteps growing fainter. I took a few steps backwards before peering around the corner. The man still stood there, alone. He had his back turned to me. I should have vanished, run home. I did not. Instead I did something indescribably stupid.
“Do you need help?” I asked, keeping my distance.
“Thanks for asking, my dear. But I am absolutely fantastic!” He said while spinning around to face me. His expression was marked by the same, leeringly, empty smile.
“Ok,” I managed to mutter, keeping my relatively easy going composure while turning around to make for home once and for all. It wasn’t before I was already in front of my apartment when I turned to look up at the main street. The man had followed me, silent as an owl. He stared at me, smiling. He hadn’t hunted me. He had followed me home! Finding out where I lived. His smile grew even wider when the predatory glint crept into those wide eyes. At once I made for my door as he sprinted towards me. I shut it and turned the key.

After getting home that night I stopped going out entirely. Not even a short stroll could tempt me. Too great was the fear of getting infected by happiness. I had followed the news for a while now, just to see if I was mad. I wasn’t. First, they had called it a pandemic. Something that spread upon contact and at an exponential rate. It took only a few weeks for society to be completely corrupted by it. As soon as even the people on TV started smiling like crazy, I switched off the TV for the foreseeable future. Nothing changed for that matter though. Life continued, trains drove, people worked. Yet all of them wore that unsettling smile. Sorrow, they said, was a thing of the past. Something people would only know from stories from now on. Given that people still read stories. For with that happiness came also a kind of monotone mindset. Nothing mattered. Like robots they carried on, not dreaming, not feeling. Not thinking. As long as they smiled everything was fine. The world could go down and die, it would mean nothing to them. With concern I saw my resources of dry goods dwindle. My mind wandered back to the last unpleasant incident at university. This thing would recognise me. Perhaps it was even searching for me. As if to confirm my fears a loud knock came from my front door. I froze in place immediately. My mind reeled with the memories as well as the faint touch of madness from the missing contact with other human beings. Ghastly laughter filled my ears, accompanied by sneering whispers barely perceivable. Another heavy knock sounded, increasing the insane noises. Like being guided by invisible strings my legs moved towards my home’s entrance. My mind playing several possible futures, my sense trying its best to not pay heed to the falsehood produced by my fear induced self. When my hand reached for the doorknob, I didn’t feel the cold metal. My body was numbed by the unreal happenings. The shock of seeing the same stranger with whom my nightmare had begun was just another fact in a world gone mad. Days earlier it might have had an impact. But all the wide grin invoked now was, relief. I would face my fear. And I would go down or prevail.

“Are you having a good day?” The stranger asked in the same monotone voice I had memorised.
“I am always having a good day.” I replied stubbornly not prepared to play its game. For a moment the entity studied me, never altering its facial expression. Unable to ignore the stomach-churning grin, I looked at his buttoned coat instead. The hat still hid the eyes, which I assumed harboured the same hungry gaze I had encountered from the students.
“You are lying. Don’t you want to be happy?”
“Of course I want to be happy, who doesn’t,” I said jokingly. When the stranger reached out to touch me, I took a step back. Like a predator he followed until both of us stood in my kitchen. There he stopped, cocking his head.
“What you give is not happiness,” I continued. “It’s numbness, a mask, nothing more than a façade.” For the first time, the disgusting smile wavered. I felt the air around us freshen up like a storm.
“What?” He exclaimed, his tone a mixture of anger and confusion. The reaction gave me new courage.
“People may be miserable or sad or angry. But without that there would be no happiness.” Blazing eyes made of fire locked with my own. Taking a step forward I carried on nonetheless. “So to come back to your question. No. I do not want to be happy. I do not want to be sad, but I want to be me!” With that the winds fell silent and the fire in the stranger’s eyes died down to a gentle glow. Like a broken curse, the expression returned to what it might have been before that awful smile. Warm and content.

Credit: The Rebellious Stranger

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