Liam looked down, shaking as he glared at the blood encrusted on his hands. It was not his own. The infernos of the destruction before him were nailed into his brain. He felt lost and confused. He did not mean to do it; he was just tired of the pain and misery that his parents caused him.
He felt hollow. The memories of it all were etched into his brain. But, it was all over now. There was no going back. The simple complexities were all but a dream, lost in all of its disarrays. They deserved to die, after all.
The smell of the fire lingered in the air as ashes drifted across the sky, whipped by the warm breeze from the flames of the burning house. No one had to know the truth about this tragedy. It could be pushed aside and written off as an appliance malfunction.
Liam’s adopted little brother, Calvin, lay unconscious beside asleep. His breathing was light. Bending down, Liam took Calvin into his arms, frowning softly. Calvin shouldn’t have to be going through this, but soon, everything would be okay.
‘Okay,’ a word that could mean so many different things… a word that could be so true, yet so false. Is anything ever truly okay?
Looking up, Liam gazed at the destruction he had caused, all to save him and Calvin from the lingering torment of a nuclear family that would have gone up in flames anyway.
After all, Liam had to do it. Before long, their parents would have gotten tired of him and moved on to Calvin. Liam couldn’t have that. He needed to protect Liam at all costs, even if it made him just as bad as their parents… a bonafide monster.
However, as the flames roared and their family home collapsed, Liam could only hope that Calvin would someday understand and forgive him.
X.X.X
The faint sound of sirens echoed in the distance as the sky grew darker and the moon faded behind the clouds.
Calvin grunted, opening his pale lavender eyes to find himself in a bed that was not familiar to him. He felt something tug on him. Glancing over, he saw Liam’s sleeping figure. His face was soft and light; however, the dark circles around his eyes were lucid.
Suddenly eyes meet Calvin’s.
“Are you okay?” Liam asked abruptly, narrowing his deep ruby eyes. “You seem a little nervous.”
“Yeah,” Calvin said, turning his head slightly and looking out the window that was left somewhat open, a small frown on his face. “Where are we?”
“A hotel,” Liam said simply, his expression blank as he eyed Calvin. What was Liam supposed to tell him?
“Why?”
“We had to get away.”
“From?” Calvin asked, his brow raising slightly as he looked at his older brother. Something was not right.
“The past.”
Sadness flooded Liam’s eyes like waves against a rigid cliff as he looked at his beloved brother. How was Liam going to tell Calvin about what happened? Liam didn’t think he would understand or forgive him for what he had done. It was the only way to escape, to get away from such an oppressing fate.
Sighing, Liam stuck to the truth, though slightly bent.
“In good time, you will know, but not a moment too soon,” Liam said softly as he gazed at Calvin, hoping that things wouldn’t fall apart in the meantime while finding peace in all the calamity.
“When are we going back?”
“Never.”
“Why not?”
“Questions upon questions.” Liam sighed as he sat up, stretching the sore muscles of his body as he let out a yawn. “Do you have to know all the answers?”
“Without answers, we wouldn’t find out the truth,” Calvin huffed as he looked off to the side. “Do Mom and Dad hate me, too? Is that why we ran away?”
“What are you even saying?” Liam froze, his throat closing up as he looked at Calvin blankly. Did he know? There was no way.
“Liam, drop the act. Life isn’t a magic show,” Calvin said firmly as he turned to face Liam fully, his expression like ash. “Did you think I would buy into the whole ‘we-had-to-get-away-from-the-past’ bullshit?”
“Well…”
“Well, what?”
“I didn’t want you to find out.”
“Too late, I have always known,” Calvin looked down, refusing to meet Liam’s hollow eyes. “I have seen them… um, hit you before.”
“What?!”
“Yeah.” Calvin fiddled with his fingers like violin strings, his childish habit resurfacing, even though he was in his late teens. “I always acted like I never heard the screams, but they were so loud, and I knew deep down that they were hurting you.”
“Calvin–”
“No, Liam, let me talk,” Calvin said roughly, determination filling his eyes as he looked back up. He needed to get this off his chest. They needed to be honest with one another if they were going to work toward a solution.
“No, Calvin. You should try getting some more rest. We’ll talk about this later,” Liam ushered as he tried to move a cover over Calvin’s body.
“I don’t want to sleep!” Calvin yelled as he pushed the blanket away, tears falling from his eyes like water from a crashing waterfall. “I want answers. Did they or did they not hit you?”
Liam sighed, moving closer to Calvin as he took him in his arms and brushed the tears away. He hated seeing Calvin crying. “Yes… they had hit me. They did more than that if you must know.”
“Why did you not do something? Anything? Why did you not come to me?”
“What could you have possibly done? You were too young when it all started.”
“I was 15, Liam. 15! I am only a year younger than you, dammit.” Calvin yelled in frustration, pushing himself away from Liam and stumbling to the floor. “I could have done something… anything.”
“It was not your responsibility to do anything,” Liam said. “It was a battle I had to fight alone.”
“Alone? Are you kidding me? You have always been there for me, so why should you expect me not to do the same?”
“Because I actually care about you, and I had rather not seen you get hurt, Calvin,” Liam said, slightly offended. Why did Calvin always have to act as if everything was his responsibility?
“And I care about you, Liam. Did you ever think about me, ever question how I felt about the situation? I was hurting just as much as you. Mental scars exist, you know….”
“Calvin, I thought about you all the time. Who did you think I took all the beatings and torment for? Who did I protect and always told to stay in their room? You, Calvin, not me, not some stranger. You. Does that mean nothing to you?”
Calvin looked down, conflicted by Liam’s words. Memories flashed in his head like fireworks as he recalled the time Liam simply went back to sleep. Flashbacks of when Liam came into his room at night and just hugged him, softly crying, flickered in his head.
“It means more than you know,” Calvin said softly, falling back onto the bed and wrapping his arms around his brother.
“But, is that enough? Is it enough to know that it matters, or is it but an illusion?”
“An illusion?” Calvin asked, not following what Liam was trying to get at. How was what had happened an illusion?
“An illusion of the mind. Do I matter as much as you think?”
“Yes.” There was no hesitation in Calvin’s voice as he gazed at Liam intensely.
“Then, how about we forget what happened and move on from it for now? Can you please do this for me?” Liam asked, returning Calvin’s gaze to see if any sudden emotions flickered in his lavender eyes.
“Yes, I can. As long as I have you by my side, I will be fine,” Calvin said as he closed his eyes with a soft smile written across his face. “Besides, you said it yourself. I will figure out everything in time.”
“Yeah, but you should get some rest until then. We have to leave in the morning.”
“Where are we going?” Calvin asked softly, knowing that he was asking questions again that he probably wouldn’t get answers to.
“Anywhere but here.”
Liam wasn’t sure where they were going to go next. However, they had to keep moving, as they no longer had a home here.
They only had… each other.
Credit: Robert W. McAfee
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