Her Protection
| Published on Creepypasta.com | February 2010 |
|---|---|
| Length | 501 words · about 2 minutes to read |
| Story level | Short |
| Reader rating | 8.7/10 from 738 votes |
| Category | Beings and Entities |
In every major town and city, there is a house of which no official record exists, and whose windows have been boarded up for longer than anyone around can remember. The previous occupants, if there ever were any, are untraceable, and no organisation or individual will ever lay claim to the plot on which it stands.
Nevertheless, when you break in–always through a back, ground-floor window; you must never touch the outer doors–you will see amongst the dust the signs of inhabitants long gone. A flattened cardboard box, an overturned child’s cot, balding patches on the carpet where the pile has been worn away. Invariably there will be an orphaned double mattress in the master bedroom. What you will not see, however, are rats and cockroaches, or animal waste. Vermin know better than to come here.
These are Her sacred spaces.
The first time you visit, bring only what you need to help you enter the house. Then locate the master bedroom, stand in the centre, and draw an unbroken circle in the dust around your feet. Make it about a metre in diameter to be safe.
Face the doorway and say aloud; “I wish to make a sacrifice. Will you welcome the offering?”
Also read: In The Land of Black and White
Then leave as quickly as possible. You must not return until night has next fallen.
This time, bring nails, a hammer, an empty litre bottle, a sharp, sturdy knife, and a torch. Enter the same way you did last time. Remember the mattress in the master bedroom? Someone will be sleeping there. Don’t worry about waking them up; She has taken care of that for you. Turn the sleeper over onto their back and cut their jugular vein, making sure to collect as much blood as you can.
You will need to pour a little of the blood onto the floor of every room, including this one, but make sure you have some left at the end. When you’ve finished, leave by the same way you entered, and close up the boards again. (This is what the hammer and nails are for.) Walk home. Speak to nobody on your way. When you get there, tip some of the remaining blood into your right hand and smear it over your door handle before you enter. Then go to bed.
If there is any blood left, you must pour the rest of it onto any pavement in the city, but do not allow it to be poured down a drain. The knife you must never use again, and should bury. Do not trouble yourself with covering your tracks. When you next leave your house, the blood on your door will be gone, and the murder you have committed will have no repurcussions. From the moment you leave Her temple, DNA evidence will never again implicate you; law enforcement will creep around your footsteps without touching them. On cameras, your face will show up a blur.
You are under Her protection now.
Just make sure you get the right house.
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Lulz, I like the ritual pasta’s, they’re sickk .
the last line of this was sick.
7/10, Great pasta :) <3
Not bad, but certainly has a “Holders” feel to it.
I liked this. True, it’s just ritual pasta, but it still entertained me. Left me wondering who “She” is. 8/10
elmo’s comment made me laugh so hard.
Hahah, that last line was win. Turned it meh-meh into win.
I liked this. It was eloquent and not overly ornate. The last line seemed a little weird because it strikes me as overwhelmingly likely that if you did pick the wrong house, then the next time you come back it’ll still be abandoned. What if instead, she indicated a second house for you to go to? That one might look normal, and then you really wouldn’t know whether you’d done it right, and were murdering her chosen sacrifice, or if you were just killing a random person.
I liked this. It was eloquent and not overly ornate. The last line seemed a little weird because it strikes me as overwhelmingly likely that if you did pick the wrong house, then the next time you come back it’ll still be abandoned. What if instead, she indicated a second house for you to go to? That one might look normal, and then you really wouldn’t know whether you’d done it right, and were murdering her chosen sacrifice, or if you were just killing a random person.
Wow. Really.
The “make sure you get the right house” made me laugh. I liked this one :) I would probably have drawn it out a bit more though.
Some of your grammar is a little awkward and I kind of hoped for a little more creepiness. I was surprised the ritual ended when it did, and that there didn’t appear to be any negative consequences in exchange for your new abilities.
It was solid, though, and the last line made me smile.
I was honestly expecting better from the ending. I was hoping for something like having to sleep there the second time, and hope no one else is doing the ritual. Still lame, but much better than “omg dont fuck up or ur g2jail lolx”
Get rid of second person, it’s annoying. Do something other than a ritual pasta. They are annoying.
Last line was the only good part of this pasta. 3/10
I don’t understand this story…can anyone explain?
Think of it as a very detailed “to-do”list
That once complete will grant you immunity from forensic investigations.
So long as you do them in the “correct”place…
People keep talking about typos–I have to admit, I didn’t spot any. Is it possible they mean the anglicised spellings?
I like this compared to other ‘ritual’ pastas. I have to admit that at first, I was worried it would be something from The Holders series. Glad it wasn’t.
Ritual pasta, nothing new… I do like the last sentence, though. It has some good dose of unfortunate implication. Other than that, it’s the same old ritual “do this, precisely this, or else you’ll be doomed; DOOMED, I TELLS YA!”
So if I get the wrong house I won’t have to commit murder in the first place and won’t need anything for some chick to protect me from?
Sounds alright.
Very interesting. I like ritual pastas. Though they can get old after a while. But the ending kept this one fresh. 7.5/10
So either I’m not a murderer, in which case I have no interest in this, or I am a murderer, in which case a ritual involving killing somebody won’t bother me.
Um. Yeah. Not so much creepy.
Sick of ritual pastas…
Until last line made it all good. :)
This would’ve been better if the author had explored the implications of people who get it wrong, or at least made more than a passing reference to it. That’s the most interesting part of the story – people who may have fucked it up, but are so willing to get this “protection” that they try again.
The weakest part of the story is obviously the second-person narrative. This is getting embarrassingly common, here, folks. Please stop doing it. The Holders are what, like, six years old or something? It feels like six million years old.
I agree with This Is What, I liked Elmos version better. Also, if you do this and are suddenly under her protection, then they don’t have a record of you, so you can’t buy anything, don’t you guys see?! You’ll slowly starve to death if you do this Ritual! Also, who do you think She was? And if she is so powerful, why does she live in some old abandoned house? And there was a part that said that you stand in the middle of the room, and say “I’d like to make a sacrifice!” Then leave as soon as you say, that. Why do you need to leave? What is she gonna do abut it? Also a little message for Violent Harvest, VIOLENT HARVEST, I LEFT YOU A LITTLE MESSAGE IN THE COMMENTS SECTION FOR THE PASRA, “YOU’RE NOT SCARED, RIGHT? ” YOU MIGHT WANNA READ IT! ;)
BUT WHO WAS BLOODY DOORKNOB?
Now that’s interesting!
:D that sounds lIke something i would do… BUT WHO WAS THE NAIL?
I liked elmo’s version better XD
I really liked this one all around
Well aimed shot. Only people who would be willing to repeat a murder would do something like this. Of course that is just me stating the obvious. An above average pasta, made better by impeccable aim.
BUT WHAT WAS BED?
the last sentence made me laugh.