My foot tapped eagerly on the floor of the internet cafe. I looked at the unattended laptop, then back to the counter. The laptop been sitting there, unlocked, for over 10 minutes— it would be an easy sell, and I had bills to pay. As soon as the barista opened […]
The Devil’s Playground Read More »
I’d never been inside of one before. An awkward, out-of-place-feeling little room nuzzled between a failing Irish pub and an antiques shop, I’d honestly forgotten these things existed in the vast metro area of my city. Until I needed one. College essay, see, and I hadn’t even begun it – just my luck for my laptop to obnoxiously die the weekend before the paper was due. I tried to borrow a friend’s computer, but no dice; as for plan B, my school’s library was out of rentable laptops. To the local, seedy internet café I went then, where I had always been told the poverty-stricken perverts surfed for porn and the seemingly parent-less children crowded around online games.
They Like To Play Games Read More »
The storm made the city street a blur to Tim Avery as he walked rapidly down the sidewalk. Rain fell just heavily enough to make people run to their cars or take shelter in the shadows of store awnings. To Tim, however, walking through the rain seemed right. It felt like it might
As an investigative analyst for the FBI, I spent years combing through the depths of the digital colossus known as the “Dark Web.” It’s mind-numbing work, filtering through thousands of illicit sites offering services ranging from outrageously fake to bone chillingly real. My name is Clara Sanders. I’m 35-years-old, unmarried,
My local internet cafe is not much of a sight to behold. I think that’s what may have contributed to it shutting down for a couple of months back in June. The exterior was reminiscent of an abandoned shack with its dilapidated appearance and broken windows. However, after they cleaned
I Found a Laptop Connected to the Deep Web Read More »
VOODOO DOLL, HIGHLY EFFECTIVE, BRAND NEW! 100% cotton, hand-crafted voodoo doll for all your vengeful needs! NO CRAFTING NECESSARY – just write your target’s name across the chest. No sewing, cutting, or gluing! Warning: Do NOT use this doll to kill or severely injure. The Magical Arts Voodoo Doll™ is
I Bought a Voodoo Doll on Ebay Read More »
We know that you demand only the finest hair when looking to buy a new wig, weave, extension, or toupee. That’s why “Spirited Away Hair” uses only the freshest human hair available. Our exclusive process for extracting hair allows us to harvest follicles without removing them from the scalp. No
100% Real Human Hair Read More »
It’d been four days since Julius McKlinsky had left his house. Maybe longer. Had it been a week already? He couldn’t tell. Not anymore. The same four walls seemed to close in on him every passing day, yet whoever – or whatever – was out there… hadn’t moved an inch. At first
“THEY’RE NOT COMING, THEY’RE ALREADY HERE.” That’s all the email said. No subject, no name, and the email account was clearly a junk or throwaway account linked to AOL mail. At first, I laughed at the ridiculously serious message, not paying it much thought. I used to sign up for
They’re Not Coming, They’re Already Here Read More »
Henry had gone missing in Mexico weeks ago, and Lois kept getting these bizarre letters in the mail. She had assumed the first four envelopes she’d received in the first four days of the month afterward were to the wrong address or a mistake. However, the fifth envelope contained a
Has anyone else seen the post yet? The guy messages someone whose phone number is identical to his apart from the last digit, which is either one number up or down. I scrolled past it like any other post you see on the internet, gave it a quick chuckle and
Never Meet your Number Neighbor Read More »
It’s been three days since I last used an app called Forbidden Fruits and I’ve become weak to the point to where I can hardly stand for over five minutes. I’m coughing up blood, and I know that I have no choice but to open this goddamn app and make a new
An App Called Forbidden Fruits Gave Me More Than Good Food Read More »
I am one of the biggest streamers on Twitch. I play games spanning all genres, and my streams consistently get over 20,000 viewers. I love what I do. It has taken me many years to get to where I am today, and not a day goes by that I
Everything that people think they know about the Mandela effect is incorrect. The phenomenon has been occurring for years, only most dismissed it as a fluke. In the most severe cases those experiencing the effect were diagnosed as having some sort of mental illness, and subsequently medicated, or committed. Then
The Truth Behind the Mandela Effect Read More »
Mr. Hansen’s body was interred in a stately mausoleum of his own design years ago, and yet he still works for us. I’m forced to interview with the remains of the sad dotard almost daily. The world honors Hansen for his invention of countless beloved animated characters, and it’s that
Renaud Herbert Hansen Read More »
I first wore the AirPods to the Stop and Shop. It was an incredible, other-worldly experience. I listened to the soothing voice of Neil deGrasse Tyson while picking through the broccoli. I learned about quasars while waiting in line for the deli. Things got weird, though, when I got to
My AirPods Make Terrifying Sounds Read More »
“I do not want to live without my cheese slicer.” “The cats are wearing shoes.” “The vegetables do not like vegetarians.” Sometimes, Duolingo, my smartphone language app, comes up with strange sentences. It always made me laugh. But, lately, there’s been a weird glitch with the app. I’ve been refreshing
One of my least favorite parts about being a middle school history teacher is the bullshit “Living History” assignments we give at the end of every school year. Kids are supposed to sit with their grandparents and video tape, voice record, or transcribe their oldest memories for posterity (and for
The Living History Project Read More »
I’ve never posted like this before. But I suppose I’ve never needed to. If you’ve read the title, you know what to expect, and you can move on if you’d like to avoid the topic. I’ll understand. Grief is a funny thing. Professor Farina taught me that in the first
My Son Committed Suicide, and My Wife Blames Me Read More »
“What the hell is her problem?” I thought to myself as I sat in my cubicle. Angela, one of my co-workers, was staring at me. More accurately, she was gawping at me. At my face. I wanted to scream at her, flip my desk over and demand what the fuck
Why Do People Keep Staring at My Face? Read More »
My name is Jim. I’ve been in and out of construction contracts for the last seventeen years. Between those contracts, I do what I can to make a few extra bucks, since you never really know when the next contract will show up and unemployment pays you just enough to
I Drive for Cerber Read More »
Roger glanced around the desert once more. Nothing but the cloudless sky and the sand scattering in the wind, with a few cacti dotted around the landscape. With nothing else to do, he checked his magazine, already knowing how many bullets he had. Full. Adjusting his helmet, Roger sighed and
I had just finished another level of my favorite game app when the usual ad popped up. I know the companies that design these games need to make money somehow, but the frequent ads get annoying really fast. The only good thing about most of them is how short they
Don’t Install the Hangman App Read More »
There’s no interesting backstory here; I didn’t buy this thing from some, like, creepy garage sale. I didn’t get it as a gift from some estranged relative that doubled as a cultist or anything. The TV was bought at the mall, for fuck’s sake. It was sitting on a shelf,
There’s Something Seriously Messed Up With My New TV Read More »
