Bottle
My damnation came in the form of a bottle.
No, not like that.
When I was a child my best friend lived next to a little junkyard. Great place for a kid to hang out, a junkyard. Full of mystery and exciting discoveries, and if you find anything nice nobody minds if you take it, except your parents, obviously. Well, not my friend’s mom. Most of their bowls and plates came from that junkyard. But anyway.
One day a bunch of us were hanging out, dismantling a car. Some of us might have been interested in the parts, I just thought breaking stuff was great. When we’d got the engine strewn everywhere we set to work on the interior. Under one of the seats was a little glass bottle, full of some green, bubbly liquid.
Curiosity trumped hygiene in those days. I uncorked it and sniffed it. The smell was pleasant, minty, a little floral. One kid, Jackie, dared me to drink it. It was a double-dog dare. I had to.
The taste was also pleasant, and it warmed me on the way down. My body was filled with a strange, pleasant tingling. Nothing else happened, not until that night.
First effect, I couldn’t sleep. I haven’t needed sleep since. It’s all right. I get a lot done.
Second effect, a month later. I started to cough things up. I was playing alone in the woods and I hacked up blood. Then there were chunks in the blood. Then I was puking. The entirety of my coiled long intestine came snaking up as I sat there quivering, tears on my cheeks, struggling to breathe, literally puking my guts up. My mouth seemed to unhinge like a snake’s to accommodate my lungs. My heart was on my sleeve. The bloodstain would never have come out if I hadn’t abandoned the clothes I was wearing. The police searched frantically for a missing person, but never found a thing.
I wasn’t empty when I finished, though. New organs built up inside me. I could feel them, I could see them when I closed my eyes, nameless lumps and spirals springing out of nothing.
Third effect. Two months later. I began to crave the water. I can’t possibly describe the feeling of thirsty skin, but it was a desperate thirst. I left my parents’ house one night and walked and walked until I came to a swamp. I moved in. The murky, bug-filled waters feel like home now, as they did all those years ago. I sit under the water, watching the fish and salamanders get eaten by herons, looking at the surface waiting for my prey.
I’m sure you know what the fourth effect was. I’m typing this on the cell-phone of my latest victim. She was delicious. She smelled like fresh melons.
—
Credited to mngamojemo.
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Cell phones totally work in the water :downs:
Very well written, but after the gut-puking I felt like it ran out of steam. The ending didn’t really top the horror of a person puking up their own intestines, I think.
mmm.. melons. :3
Nice start, but I was all “meh” during the ending.
The timing doesn’t make sense. Since when do you say, “when I was a kid i drank some shit”, then say “two months later i saw other effects” and say “after that now i’m typing on a cell phone”.
THEN WHO WAS KID?
-__________- That was HORRIBLE. I was bored, and thought that the story was completely pointless. Not very exciting. -5/10
But then who was alligator?
Delicious pasta & nicely written on top of it. Although the concept is kind of over-used, wait a minute! I think i smell a melon human walking by -nom nom nom-~
I was underwhelmed.
So basically some guy drank some green drink and turned into black man who craves watermelons?
and cthulhu was born…
It was cool, but you can’t actually puke up your intestines. That part kind of killed it for me.
And the fourth effect was the ability to write stuff on a cellphone O_o
nice story… strange ending… seemed a little rushed from the middle of the story
Remember when it wasn’t necessarry for a story to explain how and with what it is written? I like the alligator idea, but alligators can’t type with cell phones.
To the pasta itself, I don’t know. Every pasta I’ve recently read has left me kinda cold, and empty too. I’ve already read the creepiest pasta and after that, am not afraid of less creepy ones even though it’s rainy day and I’m currently alone. And been reading creepypasta/ghost stories since Tuesday.
Well, this pasta was creepiest to this point, but still missed that “something”. It’s a boring life if creepypasta doesn’t creep.
HEY KIDS;
NEVER DRINK FROM BOTTLE YOU FIND IN CAR SEATS, K?
And when he said “He left his parents” means they accepted him even though he had no jaw and no organs?
WTF?!?
Reminded me of the creature Dagon. Not very well written, kind of predictable. I expected more and got less.
Waiter, I wish to return my pasta.
I don’t understand…explain?
Heron ruined it for me, I lol’d.
THEN WHO WAS MELON?
i am a heron. i haev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak. if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans
crazy…i loved it…it was sick…10/10..hey dylan
He’s a kupo!
+1 to Gatorade comment. Still, pasta fails.
Different Pasta, Didn’t quite get it though? ^o)
Man fish? Vampire? Alligator…Like the recycling advert says…..’The possibilities are endless’ xD
“She smelled like Fresh Melons” seems like a reference to a poem from Grim Fandango. Really nice reference, if it is.
I love fresh melons.
But why would a swamp monster like fresh melons?
Cool pasta but a bit hurried.
hot damn, i liked this. can’t say it was too creepy, but it made me chuckle. the voice really had character to it.
Hhaaa!
Scary Fish-man;
Alright, Alright:D
writers got some potential
THEN WHO WAS ALLIGATOR!?!?!?! story was OK