I had managed to keep a healthy scepticism of ghosts, ghouls and all things supernatural until I was 28. I found most claims of such things to be dubious at best, and harmful at worst. I was very much in the camp of the classical...

This all started with simple, little events. They were the kind of things that you question for a moment, and let pass without too much thought.  I’ll start from the beginning: It was a warm Saturday morning in spring. Saturdays were always early days for me,...

Well, here I am. 2 A.M on a damn school night. Lying in bed, unable to sleep again, on my laptop, writing this. I’m writing to get my story out, to let someone know what happened. Because lord knows I can’t speak about this to...

“The trust of the innocent is the liar’s most useful tool.” -Stephen King   Somewhere out there in this great blue world of ours, across oceans and throughout time, there is a familiar face. Attached to this face is of course, a familiar person. This is a person...

I live in a pretty small, relatively unknown town. This is the internet, so I won’t divulge too much information but I will tell you it’s in southern Wisconsin. I live on the corner of Lawn and Elm Street, and pretty near to my house...

UPDATE 2/4: I'm working on reading submissions and getting things scheduled. Expect to see new pastas on the main page starting on February 8th, and please do visit Crappypasta if you're really starving for new pastas! I've been updating it for about a week now, and I'm sure the authors would appreciate some constructive criticism. Remember, the more we can improve the community's overall skill level, the easier it will be for me to find new main-site pastas! Most of the holdup right now comes from the simple fact that I have to get through roughly 50+ unpostable submissions to find one acceptable submission. Please remember that I can only work with what I'm given, and I have no spider-sense that will allow me to bypass the slush and zero in on the good stuff. It's my hope that if the community legitimately helps the Crappypasta authors, this ratio of crap:creep may become a bit better in the future. Please pay particular attention to the Just Needs Polishing, Shows Promise and Undercooked Pasta categories, as they generally include the submissions that can benefit the most from a lot of feedback and suggestions. As before, I'm putting the older updates below the "read more" to avoid causing confusion.

You wake up startled, gasping for air, as you recover from a nightmare. It’s the same nightmare that has been repeating itself for weeks now. Every night, you helplessly watch as the same damn scene unfolds right before your eyes. There are children running around...

My mother, dead now these past eighteen months – may God rest her soul – was a fanatically superstitious woman. Her ancestry, a combination of strict Catholicism and Irish folklore, had resulted in a potent blend which caused her to view life as a series...

There once was a magical kingdom of sleep Where children drifted to after counting their sheep And it was ruled by blankets and pillows and beds Who would send happy thoughts to little children’s heads. But in this land of joy and bliss There was on pillow who ran amiss He...

Henry worked in an office. It was an ordinary office in an ordinary city where he was paid an ordinary wage to do ordinary things. For many this would have been tedious and frustrating, but not for Henry because he too was ordinary, and he...

“Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.” - Maya Angelou   I know of an anecdote, one about a little girl named Madeline. Little Maddie was seven years old, with dark chestnut hair and wide blue eyes....

The sound of footsteps was audible in the merchant's square. People walked around buying food, supplies, and the occasional odd item. I was setting up my wares for the day-medicines for the sick and potions to cure pain. I loved helping the people of Florence....

“Another pint should put just the right color on the day,” I half-whispered to myself as I rationalized ordering another creation of Arthur Guinness’s brilliance.  As the pub’s barman slid my libation past the ashtrays and napkins, a sniveling, and seemingly inebriated, derelict skulked past...

FROM NOW ON, IF YOU IGNORE THE FAQ AND ASK ME FOR ANY SPECIAL TREATMENT, YOU FORFEIT YOUR SUBMISSION. Did I get your attention? Good. For the sake of the main page, the rest of this post is under the 'read more' button - however, that does not mean that you can claim ignorance. If you're considering submitting, make sure that you read this post.