April Fool’s Day Art: Jeff the Killer “OCs” Edition

April 2, 2014 at 6:21 AM

If you were around on April Fool’s Day, you probably noticed that – in addition to a large amount of parodypasta showing up – commenters were temporarily given the ability to ‘modify’ everyone’s favorite Crappypasta spin-off fodder, Jeff the Killer himself.

As promised, here’s the round-up of everyone’s submitted Jeff edits. I don’t believe that I missed anyone, but if I somehow skipped your image, I’m sorry!

Click on a thumbnail to see the full size; the name in the caption is the handle of the commenter who posted the image in question.

I hope that you guys had fun making these, and Happy April Fool’s Day!

Kill the Killers (Parody)

April 1, 2014 at 8:00 PM
VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rate This Pasta
Rating: 8.0/10 (2592 votes cast)

The shack was dark, almost, too dimly lit for a normal person to see into. But he was used to it, after years of wandering the darkness his eyes had accustomed to the absence of light. The only source of luminance was the screen of a small computer, too old to do more than simply process small internet searches.

In the quiet light of the monitor, his features were simply made out. He was grotesque by the most basic of standards. Nothing about him was recognizable as human. His eyes were bloodshot with the inability to blink, and due to the lack of eyelids, mounds of crust formed where the tear ducts should have been. The sickening shade of white that colored his face, and the rest of his body, was a nauseating bone color. And the scars were the most disturbing part, the burns that had healed up caused flaking and a horrible sheen in some areas. This man was no longer human, neither in body nor in spirit. The small amount of emotion left in him was simply rage. Love was as non-tangible to him as the moon.

He sat there staring at the screen his askew mouth agape in horror as he read. The looks of disgust that registered on his disfigured face, would make many believe he was watching the ‘BME Pain Olympics’ Final Round. It was, in fact, much worse.

In front of his eyes unfolded the most disturbing things he had ever envisioned. Some female, had written something, beyond legible, passing almost into the infantile. A shudder passed down his distorted visage. Her claims of carnal knowledge of his body disturbed him, and even slightly nauseated him. This was enough for him.

He stood up from his kneeling position on the unsound floor, grabbed his knifes, and headed to a nearby house. Quickly and silently he moved around the place, this was no time for his normal Theatrics. There was no prelude, no “Go to Sleep” that had made him famous. No the butchering was quick and simple. Jeff the Killer needed to make a phone call, the situation was out of hand.

**

“Take HIM DOWN!” She screamed at the top of her lungs at the television set in front of her. Almost as disturbing to look at, Jane could care less, anymore that is. All those years ago she would have killed Jeff, given half a chance. These days, however, she rarely ever ventured into the daylight. Her marred beauty no longer hurt her the way it had once. Now she sits around during the day watching pro wrestling. For some reason she got it into her head that it would be possible to find a new rival here.

Reconciling her differences with Jeff had left her completely bereft of an opponent worthy of her talents, all because they tried to “hook-up” a couple years ago. Jane nearly choked on her soda at the thought of that travesty.
The ringing of the phone snapped her out of her thoughts. Who the hell was calling her….

“City Morgue, you stab them we slab them, how may I take your order today?” She answered the phone laughing.

“What the Hell Jane?” The voice on the other end quizzed. “Did you take some kind of fucked up happy pills today?”

Jane’s eyes narrowed and she growled into the receiver.

“Listen here you charred briquette, just because I no longer want to kill you for maiming me does not mean that I won’t should you piss me off.” Jane sighed. She just wanted to be whimsy, was that so wrong?

“Blah, blah, blah, I have something that we need to take care of, and as soon as possible if you don’t mind.” Jeff was exasperated.

Jane thought on what he was saying as he explained everything to her. Jumping onto her computer she listened to him talk. Crappypasta.com……was typed carefully into the web-browser. Her annoyance hit the fan in less time than it would take to get Miley Cyrus to lick a piece of construction equipment.

“What the holy shit is this?” Jane yelled out loud…Forgetting Jeff was on the phone she preceded to begin a rant that caused every nun in the state to begin praying for no apparent reason

“Fuck shit fuck…..” Jane was just swearing to swear at this point. “Why the hell would I wear a mask? Or have kids, all they do is eat, shit, and scream; Like I really want to deal with that bullshit.” Jane quickly gathered her own set of knives and headed over to her friends place.

**

Entering into the broken down cottage in the middle of the woods, a tall and dark figure ducked below the cross-beam. His most recent work out with his personal trainer, Hans, left his tendrils feeling like Jell-o.

Slenderman sat down in his lazy-boy chair and had just propped his feet up when there was a banging on the door. Sighing he stood up and dragged his sore overly long limbs to the door. Standing at the crumbling entrance was Jeff and Jane, both looking utterly pissed off.

“Yo Slendy my man, we have a major problem.” Jeff started off right away.

Dragging Slenderman to the computer in the back room, Jeff proceeded to show him the worst story he had ever found on the internet.

By the end Slenderman was puking out the window into his garden. Jeff tried not to envision what it was like for a man to purge when he had no mouth.

After a while the three of them sat in a circle discussing how they were going to deal with their problems, and it was decided that they would all target an author to destroy. The method of destruction would correlate directly to the offence that was written.

**

Jane stood outside her target’s house. A 15 year old female whom had felt it was okay to tell a story in which she inserted herself into the Jeff/Jane the killer world. Jane’s inner Grammar Nazi began to emerge. The complete lack of comma’s had her seeing red.

Having made sure the girl’s parents had left the house, Jane snuck in. Climbing the stairs slowly, careful not to creak, she made her way to the female’s room. Carefully she looked into the crack of the door the girl was typing away on her keyboard. Jane decided to drop the quiet approach and kicked in the door.

The girl’s head whipped around. The second her eyes registered the form before her, a squeal of excitement escaped her adolescent lips.

“OH MAH GAWDDDDDD” the girl jumped up from her computer chair and began to jump around the room.

Jane looked around the room in horror; every wall was plastered with fan rendered images of her and Jeff. Some naked, some in compromising positions. Agitation quickly replaced the disgust and quick as lightning, Jane pulled out some rope.

The girl didn’t even seem to notice what was going on. She was still in random, taco, middle school mode. Her ramblings were too fast to even make sense, something about wanting to get Jeff’s phone number off of her so that she could rub it in the face of “Besties.”

Jane snapped and trussed the girl up faster than a cowboy at a hog tying contest. Standing back she admired her handiwork. Then she grabbed the keyboard off of the computer desk.

The girl started crying, A thing that Jane pointedly ignored. Pulling out her knife she popped off a key on the keyboard.

“Do you know what the most used letter in the English language is?” She giggled at the hysterical girl.
“It is the letter ‘E’.” Jane screamed it at her face, forcing the key down the girls throat. “You see, when people completely ignore the basic constructs of the English language, I get a bit testy.” Jane was now screaming like a banshee.

“You use question marks when asking a fucking question, dipshit!” The question mark key was the next to be stuffed into the girl’s gullet.

One by one, Jane shoved every key down the girl’s throat. Forcing her to literally eat the words she had butchered then published on the internet. Taking the now barren keyboard, she pulled back and smacked it across the girls face.

The girl sat there crying, blood trickling from the corner of her mouth, snot dripping from her nose. Her stomach was horribly distended and she was having difficulty breathing. She looked up at Jane trying to speak, but was met with cold heartless eyes.

Jane grabbed her knife and slowly made her way over to the broken girl. Her smile was sadistic, lopsided with the uneven pull of burned and scared muscle on her face. With a thrust she drove the knife into the girls stomach slicing it open, the eaten keys poured out. By now the girl only had moments left to live. She was unable to cry, let alone speak.

Jane stood there smiling at her, watching as the light faded from her eyes. Turning around, she grinned
evilly at the web-cam that was mounted on top of the desktop monitor. The face on the screen stared in sheer terror.

“Pass on the literature lesson.” Jane said and turned and walked out of the room.

**

Jeff sat in the tree outside his victims house, the girl he was hunting was a 14 year old who created horrible stories about sleeping with him. The shudder that ran along his spine almost dislodged him from his tree.

She walked into the room looking around even gazing out of the window. Letting out a sigh she closed the door behind her. When Jeff saw what was behind the door he almost fell out of his tree again, there mounted on the back of the door, was a life sized “manga” poster of him. With no pretense he dove through the glass window, scaring the shit out of the girl.

She screamed for her mom, but what she didn’t know is that Jeff had already silenced her family.

“You want to be beautiful like me right?” Jeff asked the girl doing his best to sound romancy.

The girl struggled then her eyes opened wider. The horrid visage in front of her was nothing like she fantasized about. His bleach white face made her want to retch. The bile rising up into her throat was stopped by the hand he wrapped around her Larynx.

“See girl you wanted to look like me now you will look like me. Just like me.” Pushing her out of the window into the kiddy pool he had filled with bleach, he laughed maniacally. “Just like me Girl, we will be Forever beautiful.”

Just saying the words, Jeff wanted to wash his mouth out with soap, god who would want a 14 year old girl friend. He hated 14 year old girls when he was 14. Nothing had changed after all these years.

Looking out the window he saw the girl floundering in the bleach pool, looking disinterested he lit and dropped a Zippo lighter into the pool. It instantly went up in flames. The girl screamed for a few moments before going silent.

“Oops….I thinks I may have over cooked the lamb.” Jumping out he grabbed onto the tree and climbed down.

He looked down at the girl. She was burnt to a crisp but somehow still breathing. The girl tried to smile up at him, but failed.

“Am I beautiful now?”

Jeff recoiled, this was not the reaction he was hoping for.

“What is with girls these days? Why won’t you die already?” Jeff huffed at her.

“Because, I love you Jeff, I want to be with you forever, I want to have your children.”

She tried to sit up and reach towards him, which should have been impossible. (But this is a story so what the hell why not.)

Jeff tilted his head back and laughed until he was gasping for breath. The girl looked at him strangely. Why was he laughing at her, that was so mean.

“I…I can’t have children you stupid fucking kid….I don’t have a penis. I lost it in a horrible zipper accident when I tried to hook up with Jane….of course by horrible Zipper accident I mean she had braces.”

The girl looked horrified no penis? But then who would she fantasize about. Maybe she could just pretend that Jeff had never told her that. Jeff continued laughing and talking to her.
“And what makes you think that I want a Pre-pubescent teenager any ways? Look, I’m a sociopath, not a pedophile. Not to mention, I really don’t dig pizza faces. Not that you have that issue anymore do you, then again you don’t have a face anymore.”

The girl tried to cry but her tear ducts were burnt away. She looked up just in time to see Jeff towering over her with a knife.

“Go to Sleep.” Jeff slit her throat and walked away. Looking back over his shoulder he sighed. Kids today….

**

Slenderman was slinking around in the woods behind his victim’s home. He had the worst punishment he could imagine in mind. He picked up the bucket at his feet and blended into shadow. He began to head towards his target.

Her story was by far the worst of the worst, spawning almost as much hate mail as “did you stumble across herobrine.” He shuddered, she had turned him into a complete bishie…damn-it how hard was it to figure out he was gay, why on earth would he want a girl let alone breed with one.

He was halfway across the lawn when he was stopped by a set of headlights. He froze, that was a Mustang, oh shit.

Not now, please not now, not when his plan was almost complete. The mustang stopped and out stepped a man. Who looked like your average middle aged dad. He brushed back his duster and pulled out a desart egal.

“Put the bucket down Slenderman, or pacemaker is going to put a hole in your gut.”

Slenderman sat down the bucket, and put his tendrils up. Everyone knew you didn’t fuck with the time traveling dad. He was the coolest dad ever. And chances are if you did Yossarian would tear you a new asshole in the comments.

“Slendy, you know using legos for this author is going too far. Why are you making me do this?” TTD asked like any patronizing father would. Slendy pulled out his mobile phone slowly and showed the story to TTD.

The look on the fathers face went from annoyed to disgusted. He looked back and forth between the story, the comments and the legos.

“You know derpbutt is going to be pissed. He said Legos are going to far. But, I am all for it, lets go Slendy, that shit was just plain wrong.”

Between TTD and Slendy they were able too pour legos all over the writers room, put tacks in her shoes, and in essence make her life miserable.

Slendy followed her around for about a year, placing legos under the arches of her feet everwhere she went.

Paybacks are a Bitch.

Credit To – Ahriannah, with thanks to CrappyPasta Regulars

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rate This Pasta
Rating: 8.0/10 (2592 votes cast)

Chef the Griller

April 1, 2014 at 2:00 AM
VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rate This Pasta
Rating: 8.6/10 (722 votes cast)

One month ago, on a rain-slicked street

My mother and I got a bite to eat

But on the way back, I slipped and fell

And I suppose the car coming didn’t see me well

Because the next thing I knew, as I lifted my head

I was staring at the sheets of a hospital bed!

I could not move my legs, nor my right arm

My left was okay (it escaped from harm)

My mother came in, with a frown, and then

Said “honey, I’m afraid you’ll never walk again.”

A feeling came over me, not sadness or hate

But instead overwhelming apathy took place

“Oh well,” I thought, “I guess I’m done.

My life is over before it’s even begun!”

But the next day my mom approached me with a smile

And said that, with luck, I’d only stay here a while

And then, if feeling returned to my legs

I could come back with her and start my life again

Well, that filed me with hope; an optimism quite bright

And perhaps my stay here would even be alright!

The month passed by, rather pleasantly

I’ll save you the details on how I went pee.

Most of my actions needed the assistance of a nurse

But really I was just glad to not be in a hearse

A reporter came to my room to tell my story

I think he was expecting something a little more gory

The triplegia of a fourteen year-old kid

Was something that, sadly, couldn’t be hid.

My nurse was kindly, pretty and gentle

She helped me get through that month without going mental

She even gave me a book to read

About shipwrecked sailors whose captain couldn’t lead

I learned on that day that human tasted like pork

The captain got eaten (but he was kind of a jerk.)

The nurse was very good at helping me cope with my condition

But when she was gone I sometimes felt a suspicion

Something like I was being watched

But I shooed that thought from my mind and instead stared at the clock

One thing that bothered me was the sheet on my legs

They hooked tubes up to me so that I never left the bed

But I could not reach down for the sheet to be pulled

So I could not see my legs, my once-useful tools

At the end of this month, I’m supposed to go home

But more often than not I’m simply left alone

The female nurse does not come any more

Instead, a crueler face comes through the door

His face is all pudgy, he wears an apron

That’s always filthy, and wrinkled like bacon

He gives me my food, three times a day

And he cooks all my food in all the same ways

He grills it, whether it should be or not

Grilled meat, grilled veggies, and here’s food for thought:

He served me cereal once, and I swear to God

He even grilled the cornflakes! How odd!

Sometimes, while eating one of his grilled meals,

He would stand in a corner and try to conceal

The smile that spread across his whole fat face

Before noticing my horror and running out of the place

I told my mom to ask about this weird guy

She said the hospital staff had this reply:

“He’s both a nurse and a cook (one of the best)

But while applying for the job, under ‘name’ he put ‘Chef’

So everyone simply calls him by that name

He may look threatening, but he’s really quite tame!”

I tried to let that ease my fear

But I started having awful nightmares

His face appeared, looking like pudgy rubber

And all the while he stared at my mother

His eyes were planted firmly at her hips

And all the while, he was licking his lips

Thinking of Chef filled me with horror

And when he came to serve me

His meat became rawer

It was still appetizing, but just barely

And with every day he seemed more and more hairy

My mom normally visits every day at noon

She insists on seeing me in my hospital room

She’s never late; she’s always on time

She treats being late like a capital crime

But today, for some reason, she’s a few minutes late

If I ever did something like that she’d be irate!

Chef comes in and serves me some meat

I take a look at his disgusting bare-feet

And eat the food, as there’s nothing else to try

And when I realize the taste, I nearly die

The food I was eating was clearly not pork

Yet the taste was known as soon as it was through my fork

I was eating something else; I knew it to be true

I through the plate aside, and then my guts I spewed

I vomited and vomited, and as I did I cried

Was I eating my mother? Had she really died?

“You killed my mom, and made me eat her, too!”

I yelled with all the force I could bring myself to

Chef looked at me, with an emotionless face

My one good arm shot up with the intent to erase

His expression, his presence, his existence on this earth

But my fist just bounced off his impressive girth

At that moment, my mother rushed into the room

And said “what’s all the screaming? You sound like a loon!”

I looked at my mother, there in the flesh

And never felt more relieved as I got back my breath

My mom was okay, I was overreacting!

Staying in this bed all day had my sanity retracting!

Everything was alright now that she was here!

There was nothing to fret and nothing to fear!

I gave my mom news in the usual way

Chef left, but then returned midday

When he did, I tried to apologize

I said “I know what I did was awfully unwise;

I really am sorry for freaking out

But not moving from this bed’s made me a paranoid lout!”

Chef grinned at me, with black gums and missing teeth

Which then retracted like a sword in a sheath

He walked over to the my legs that were covered by the sheet

And scowled “I was hoping you’d enjoy my little treat”

He pulled off the sheet, and my legs were gone!

It was as if they’d been cut off by a saw!

A bloody pool was where they once lay

I yelled out in horror and tried to get away

But he leaned over and grabbed my chest

He leaned in so close I could smell his foul breath

He said “All that meat on your legs was going to rot

And I would never cook a woman in such poor health

Besides, watching you eat your own mother is not

Half as exciting as watching you eat yourself!”

Credit To – Greg G.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rate This Pasta
Rating: 8.6/10 (722 votes cast)

Beware of Those Who Would Do You Harm – Act 2.5

October 9, 2013 at 12:00 AM
VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rate This Pasta
Rating: 8.9/10 (2486 votes cast)

Act 2.5 – Jeff

(Suggested Track: Until the Day I Die, by Story of the Year, or You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid, by The Offspring)

[AR: This is a bonus part that takes place immediately after Act 2 and during Act 3]

When Tucker opened his eyes again, Jeff lunged at him. Tucker managed to dodge the knife and pulled a small pocketknife out of his back pocket. Jeff instantly recognized it as the same pocketknife he had thrown at Wendy…that night. How the hell did he get it? Tucker pointed the knife at him.

“Let’s go, pretty boy.” Tucker said through his teeth.

Jeff stood up a little straighter and put his hand on his chest. “You really think I’m pretty?” he mocked. He chuckled and then crouched to prepare for another strike. But Tucker had suddenly gone pale.

“It was you, wasn’t it?” He murmured. “You were there, laughing, the last time I talked to Abby!”

Jeff shrugged. “She was…quite amusing.”

Tucker gritted his teeth and swung his balled up fist at him. Jeff casually grabbed it in midair and squeezed as hard as he could, causing Tucker to cry out in pain. But, it wasn’t the hand that was holding the knife. Before Jeff realized this, Tucker swung his knife-wielding hand around and stabbed Jeff in the side. Jeff howled in agony, but didn’t loosen his grip. Jeff looked down at the knife and the practically black blood flowing from the wound. It had been a long time since he felt pain like this, his victims rarely fought back. He sort of liked it. He brought his own knife up to take a swipe at Tucker, but Tucker pushed the blade in deeper causing Jeff to finally let go. He backed away and pulled out the small knife before Tucker ran at him and tackled him to floor.

Jeff dropped both knives as Tucker sat on his chest and started punching him in the face, roaring with every hit. Tears ran down his face as visions of Abby and Wendy’s smiling faces flashed through his mind. Jeff flipped him over and punched Tucker as hard as he could. He wrapped his arms around Tuckers neck to choke him, but the sharp pain in his side allowed Tucker to gain the upper hand. Tucker pressed down on the spot where he had stabbed Jeff and pushed him off. He then stood up and commenced to kicking and stomping Jeff repeatedly as he writhed around on the floor holding his side. Getting exhausted, Tucker straightened up and walked over to where the bloody pocketknife lay. Crouching down to pick it up, he sighed.

“She was the best person I’d ever met, and you, you took her away from me.” He muttered, dryly.

Jeff sat up on one elbow and giggled as he wiped his face. Tucker turned and glared at him.

“Laugh all you want. You won’t be laughing when the police get here.”

Jeff stopped giggling. “The police are on their way, huh? Guess I’d better wrap this up.” Jeff hopped up and marched towards Tucker. Tucker stood and aimed the knife at him.

“This is for Abby and Wendy!”

Tucker swung the knife at Jeff three times, but each swing missed. It was clear that Jeff had been holding back before. Tucker held the knife over his head and tried to stab Jeff. Jeff simply side-stepped and struck Tuckers back as he went past him, causing Tucker to fall to the floor with a loud thud. Jeff grabbed Tucker by his hair and stood him up. Before Tucker could react, Jeff hit him in the gut a few times. He then banged Tucker’s forehead into the nearest wall and then let him sink to the floor.

As Tucker tried to stand up again, Jeff picked up his knife and went over to the bed and sat down. He looked down at the dead girl and chuckled.

“Not so tough now, is he Clarissa? I wonder…how I should kill him.” He paused for a minute, and then put his ear close to her slightly open mouth. “Hmmmm…what’s that?” Pause. “Aw, but that’s no fun.” Another pause as Jeff tapped his cheek with the knife. “You’re right, it needs to be quick since the police are on their way.”

Tucker finally stood up. He yanked Jeff up by his hoodie and slammed him against the wall. He raised the pocketknife, preparing to take a life for the first time.

“Now die, motherfucker.” Tucker was just about to sink the knife into Jeff’s heart when a sound in the distance stopped him. It was the sound of police sirens, meaning that his saviors were almost there. He was only distracted for a moment, but it was long enough for Jeff to turn the tables on him. Before Tucker could even breathe a sigh of relief, Jeff knocked the knife away and turned him around in two quick moves. He covered Tucker’s mouth with one hand and held the knife to his throat with the other. As Tucker fought to get free, Jeff whispered in his ear.

“Now, you can join Abby in the land of dreams and nightmares.” Jeff said, as he slid his knife across Tucker’s throat. “Sleep, forever.”

Tucker’s body went limp, and Jeff wasted no time in hoisting him up and carrying him through the small door. He cringed a bit from the pain in his side, but he knew that there wasn’t much time. Through that door was a smaller room with nothing but a metal operating table in it. He would often use this room to torture his victims before finally finishing them off. A small sound escaped from Tuckers lips.

“A-Abby…I’m so-sorry…”

Jeff realized that he was still hanging on to life by a thread. He laid him out on the table and quickly tied his hands and feet down. That way, he could just lie there and bleed to death. He ripped the bottom half of Tucker’s shirt of and wrapped it tightly around his waist to use as a bandage for his wound.

Jeff started to leave as he heard the front door open downstairs followed by two voices, but he had an idea. He wanted to leave his mark on this little town before he left for good. He dipped two fingers into the pool of blood that was forming under Tucker’s neck and wrote one final message on the wall.

“Jane! I’ve got something over here.” he heard a female voice yell. Time to leave. Jeff quickly grabbed everything he needed, which was only the computer, as he had no other belongings besides his knife, and blew out the candle. He slipped out of the room (he didn’t need the light because he knew the house like the back of his hand) and quickly hid in a trap door that blended in with the hallway just as two cops, an older male and a young female, came up the stairs. As he had hoped, although they shined their flashlights over the door, they did not notice it. He waited there until they entered the room. As he crept past the doorway, as quiet as a killer in the night, he heard the female officer say, “He must have found out we were coming.”

Their conversation continued, but he didn’t care to listen. He needed to get the hell out of there. As he crept down the stairs, he could hear more police officers coming up to the front door. He ducked under a table just as they walked in. They spread out and searched, shining their flashlights at every little thing. He knew that he couldn’t stay under the table for long. Luckily it was pitch black inside the house, so he moved through the darkness, ducking behind something when a flashlight beamed or a cop came in his direction. Although the computer was weighing him down, he kept this up until he finally made it out the open front door.

He tiptoed outside and headed towards the cornfields, careful to avoid two cops who were exploring the sides of house. As he reached the cornfields, he heard shouting coming from the second floor. It sounded like the female cop; she must have found Tucker, and his little message. The two officers who were outside quickly ran inside, guns drawn. Jeff smiled inwardly. His job here was done.

Just as he was about to make a run for it, he heard crying. He turned around to see the female officer run through the front door, followed by the male officer. He decided to put down the computer and hide in the corn to listen in.

“Mason. Mason! Get yourself together.” The male officer said, turning her around and shaking her.

“I didn’t sign up for this shit, Jane!” She cried. “The only reason I became a cop in this town is because nothing like this ever happens!”

“You knew exactly what you were signing up for.” He replied, sternly. He let her go and combed his fingers through his greying black hair. “Murderers and psychos are everywhere, not just in big cities.”

The female officer pulled her jacket tighter around her. “Maybe so, but this? What kind of human being would do that to all those poor people. And those kids, Jane, they were the same age as your daughter. They probably even went to the same school, didn’t they?”

“Yeah, maybe.” He said, quietly. “Come on, let’s go inside and wait for homicide to get here.”

As they walked back inside, Jeff decided he would stay just a little longer. Someone needed to teach all those cops a lesson for interfering. He especially wanted revenge on that old fart, Officer Jane, was it? He’ll teach that bastard a lesson for calling him a psycho, starting with his little daughter.

Jeff wiped the blood off his knife and grinned as he slunk back into the shadows to plan what he would do next.

Credit To: Angel Rocket

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rate This Pasta
Rating: 8.9/10 (2486 votes cast)

Beware of Those Who Would Do You Harm – Epilogue

June 5, 2013 at 12:00 PM
VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rate This Pasta
Rating: 8.5/10 (966 votes cast)

Epilogue – Wendy

(Suggested tracks: Decode, by Paramore or Angels, by Within Temptation)

9 months earlier
Wendy couldn’t’ help but stare at the mysterious new kid whose locker was across the hall and diagonal from hers and her friend Abby’s. She was also currently spacing out as Abby went on about her plans for her and Tucker’s two-year anniversary.
“I was thinking about taking him to his favorite restaurant, since last year he took me to mine. What do you think, Wendy?”
“Yeah…”
Abby slammed her locker door shut. “Wendy!”
“Huh, what? I think it’s a great idea that you go to the restaurant where you had your first date!”
Abby stared at her. “That’s not what I said, but that’s a good idea.”
“Glad I could help. So what do you know about the new kid?”

Abby glanced over at him and cringed. He was just standing there, staring into his empty locker. He must have felt two pairs of eyes on him because he slowly turned to look at the girls. He had on pasty white foundation, messy black eyeliner, and red lipstick that went up the corners of his mouth giving him a creepy grin. Although Abby turned away, Wendy continued to stare into those coal black eyes through his messy black fringe.
“He’s so interesting…”
“He’s also a killer.”
Wendy whirled around and looked at her friend.
“At least that’s what I heard around town. Apparently he’s on the run because he’s suspected of murdering his entire family. Now he’s living with some rich distant relative across town.”
“You don’t believe that do you? I bet it’s just a rumor. I mean, come on.”
Abby once again glanced over at the boy, who was still staring at Wendy. “He creeps me out. I’d stay away from him if I were you.”
“Oh, come on! Give him a chance. I bet he was ostracized at his last school just because he was different.”
“I still have a bad feeling about him, Wen. Maybe those kids at his last school were on to something.”
Wendy rolled her eyes as Tucker strode up to them.
“Hey ladies, what’s going on?”
“Hey babe!” Abby said, kissing him.
Tucker looked expectantly at Wendy, who had returned the strangers gaze. Finally, Tucker tapped her on the shoulder. “Ahem.”
“Oh, hi Tuck! Happy two-year anniversary.”
“Thanks Wen, I was—”
“What do you know about the new kid?”
Tucker shared a worried glance with his girlfriend.
“You mean the Joker wannabe? I heard he’s a serial killer and that this town his just the latest in a long string of towns he’s terrorized.”
“Are you serious!?” Abby gasped.
“Nah, I’m bullshittin ya. But I have heard that he’s dangerous.” He took Wendy by the shoulders and turned her around to look at him. “I know you like weirdoes, Wen. But he’s bad news. So Stay. Away.”
“Ugh.” Abby rolled her eyes and stepped out of his grasp. “Whatever, Tuck. Why don’t you guys go make googly eyes at each other or something?”
Abby smiled. “Not a bad idea. It is our anniversary after all, and this is our last year in high school. Why don’t we have a little fun?” She took his arm and pulled him towards a janitor’s closet just as the bell rang.

Wendy turned and pretended to rummage through her locker. She would never admit that she was jealous of her best friend’s relationship, since Wendy had so much rotten luck with them. But at the same time she was happy for her, and knew that she was in good hands because the three of them had been best friends for a long time. All of her own relationships never lasted long, but maybe she just hadn’t found the right guy yet.

Wendy turned around to see that the hallway was just about empty. The boy was still there, staring into his locker once again. Wendy started to head to class, but turned again to look at him. He would probably be teased and avoided by everyone else in school. She remembered how no one would talk to her because she was different, until Abby, and later Tucker, came around. Wendy took a deep breath, and marched over to him.

Although she knew he heard her approaching, he didn’t immediately turn around. Knowing that it would probably be rude, she craned her neck to see what he was looking at. It was a picture, taped to the back of his locker, of what looked like a happy family. There were the parents and two smiling little boys, one with black hair and one with brown. Wendy guessed that the black-haired one was him. As she squinted at the picture, she thought she saw that someone had scribbled large smiles on their faces in red pen. Just as she was trying to get a better look, he turned around.

“Oh, um, hi!”
The boy cocked his head at her. Wendy had to admit that up close, he looked a little scarier. His eyes were bloodshot, like he hadn’t slept in months, and his pasty white make-up made him look like a ghost.
“My name is Wendy. I just wanted to let you know that if you ever need anyone to show you around, I’m just across the hall. I know it’s not easy being the new kid.”
He turned to close his locker and then faced her again. Wendy shuffled her feet.
“So um, what’s your name?”
“Jeff.”
Wendy winced at the sound of his voice. It sounded dry, like he needed to drink a glass of water.
“Well, Jeff, how about I show you to your first class?”

As Wendy gently took the crumpled up schedule from him, an image flashed through her mind as their fingers touched. It was of herself, covered in blood, and pointing an accusatory finger at her. “Wha…” Wendy felt woozy for a moment. She leaned against the locker for support.

“Are you alright… Wendy?” Jeff asked, amused.
“Yeah.” She straightened up. “Let’s go, shall we?”

Wendy wondered what it meant as they walked down the hall. Could it be an omen? Did it have something to do with Jeff? No, that’s impossible. Jeff seemed like a nice guy, and it’s not like she actually saw a vision or anything. It was probably nothing, nothing at all.

~END~

Credit To – Angel Rocket

This is the last entry in the five-part Beware of Those Who Would Do You Harm series.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rate This Pasta
Rating: 8.5/10 (966 votes cast)

Beware of Those Who Would Do You Harm – Act 3

June 4, 2013 at 12:00 PM
VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rate This Pasta
Rating: 9.0/10 (612 votes cast)

Act 3 – Officer Jane
(suggested track: Teenagers, by My Chemical Romance)
Officer Thomas Jane and his rookie partner, Jade Mason, walked lazily through the cornfields, occasionally flashing their flashlight at every sound they heard. Officer Jane hated nights like this, when teens prank called the station, yet he was still obligated to check it out. He knew he wouldn’t find anything, so he didn’t object when Officer Mason suggested they stop for coffee. Even so, according to the operator, the kid who called sounded really calm. An unnatural sort of calm, like the kind that comes before a storm. He knew the kid too; the one whose girlfriend went missing after her best friend disappeared not long after her parents were murdered. It seemed like ever since that boy came to town, there was just one bad thing after another. But why would the killer stay here? It didn’t make any sense, the kid had to be mistaken.
As soon as they reached the house, Officer Jane felt like there was something wrong. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but something jus didn’t feel right. He turned to his partner.
“Get your gun ready Mason, I have a bad feeling about this.” Officer Mason nodded solemnly and did as she was told.
As soon as they opened the door, a powerful odor hit them. Officer Mason wouldn’t know, but Officer Jane recognized that smell. It was the smell of death. Once again he turned to his fellow officer. “I think we’re going to need back-up.”
After calling for back up, the two officers cautiously entered the house. Not knowing whether or not the killer was still there, they decided to stick together at first. They searched all of the rooms on the first floor, eventually making their way to the living room. Officer Mason let out a shriek as she shined her flashlight over the couches. When Officer Jane shone his flashlight as well, all he could utter was “Mother of God…”
There were corpses everywhere, of men, women and children of all ages, and in various stages of decay. There must have been over a dozen of them. They were all posed in different positions, as if they were friends and families gathering together for afternoon tea. There were people slumped on the couch “reading a book”, or sitting in a chair with the newspaper. Some were even sitting on the floor, posed as if playing a board game. Their mouths were agape, and their eyes were rolled to the back of their heads. As the officers began to examine them, they recognized a few from the missing posters that had skyrocketed in recent months. Officer Mason had to leave the house to throw up outside. Officer Jane remained inside, wondering why there weren’t any flies surrounding the bodies.
As the officers made their way to the stairwell, they noticed the dried blood on the floor and the rail. They gave each other a wary look, and then continued on, guns at the ready. Once they reached the top floor, they split up and checked each room. They were all the same as the living room. More corpses, all posed in various positions, their mouths and eyes agape. They were all in different stages of decay, some fresher than Officer Jane would have liked. “Just what kind of sick fuck are we dealing with?” He murmured, to no one in particular.
“Jane!” Officer Mason called from another room. “I’ve got something over here.”
Officer Jane followed her voice to a middle closet. Officer Mason wore a grave expression on her face, but she nodded towards the open door. Officer Jane took a deep breath and aimed his flashlight into the closet. Inside were the bodies of two teenage girls. One was a lot more decayed than the other, but there was something strange about the way they were positioned. They were leaning against each other, the eyes and mouths closed in what could have been a peaceful slumber. They were holding each other’s hand, and wrapped around the two bodies was red string, tying them together.
A tap on his shoulder startled Officer Jane, but before he could say anything, Officer Mason pointed above the heads of the bodies. Following her finger, Officer Jane saw that written in blood were the words “Loved and Lost.” Officer Jane wondered what that meant, but he couldn’t dwell on it right now. There was still one more room that they needed to check, and hopefully the killer was still hiding there.
As they made their way to the end of the hall, they could hear sirens approaching. Their back up, finally. It would take them a while to make it through the cornfields. Officer Jane didn’t have time to go down and give them a briefing. He had to see what was in that last room. He looked at his partner, who looked back at him with a determined expression on her face. He knew she was afraid, but he also knew that she wanted to take this person down as much as he did. She would never forget this experience for the rest of her career; she could no longer be considered a rookie cop. Today, she had seen more than half the cops on the force. Things like this just didn’t happen in their peaceful town.
When they entered the last room, Officer Mason once again had to stop herself from throwing up. Lying on the bed was a young woman, her abdomen sliced open and her entrails falling out. She was a fresh corpse, Officer Jane realized as he examined her. She was pretty too, such a shame. They looked around for the killer, but they quickly realized he was long gone. There was a desk with a computer monitor on it, but the computer itself was gone.
“He must have found out we were coming.” Officer Mason sniffed.
“Yeah, while we were out there taking our time, he was escaping.”
“I wonder how he was able to use this computer.”
“What?” Officer Jane said, turning to her.
Officer Mason looked stunned. “The computer, how could he have used the internet when there’s no signal or any electricity out here?”
“How do we even know he used it?”
“Well why would he take it if he hadn’t been using it? A monitor with no computer, that doesn’t make sense.”
“Yeah…” Officer Jane didn’t have much time to think about it, as he could hear the other officers coming through the door and calling out to them.
“I guess I’ll go down and tell them the situation, seeing as how he’s not here anymore.”
“Alright, I’ll stay up here and look around some more.”
As Officer Jane headed to the stairway, he tried to collect his thoughts. He was ready for this nightmare to be over, but he knew it wouldn’t be for a long time. And what’s worse? The killer had escaped because they hadn’t taken the call seriously. Just as he reached the top of the stairs, he heard a shout coming from the room at the end of the hall.
Officer Jane, followed by the other officers that had come as back up, ran to the room with their guns ready. But when they reached the room, it was empty save for the young girl who was already dead.
“In here!” Came a muffled voice from a small doorway.
Officer Jane and the other officers slowly entered the room. A fresh metallic smell filled their noses upon entering. They all flashed their lights around the room. Lying on a bloody metal operating table was a teenage boy. His hands and feet were tied down, and his throat was slit. Officer Mason was leaning over him.
“He’s still warm.” She said, her voice quivering as she tried not to cry. “This must be the boy who called 911. We came too late.”
“And that’s not all.” Said an officer named Joe Rake, as Officer Jane comforted his partner. “It looks like we’ve got a confession.”
All of the officers simultaneously aimed their lights were Officer Rake was pointing his. On the wall above the boy’s body, written in fresh blood, was a message:
Jeff was here.

Credit To – Angel Rocket

This is the fourth entry in the five-part Beware of Those Who Would Do You Harm series.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rate This Pasta
Rating: 9.0/10 (612 votes cast)

This website contains fictional content that may be too scary for younger readers. Please verify that you are either at least 18 years of age or have parental permission before proceeding.