Scary Paranormal Stories & Short Horror Microfiction

Creepypasta

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UPDATE 2/4:

I’m working on reading submissions and getting things scheduled. Expect to see new pastas on the main page starting on February 8th, and please do visit Crappypasta if you’re really starving for new pastas! I’ve been updating it for about a week now, and I’m sure the authors would appreciate some constructive criticism. Remember, the more we can improve the community’s overall skill level, the easier it will be for me to find new main-site pastas! Most of the holdup right now comes from the simple fact that I have to get through roughly 50+ unpostable submissions to find one acceptable submission. Please remember that I can only work with what I’m given, and I have no spider-sense that will allow me to bypass the slush and zero in on the good stuff. It’s my hope that if the community legitimately helps the Crappypasta authors, this ratio of crap:creep may become a bit better in the future.

Please pay particular attention to the Just Needs Polishing, Shows Promise and Undercooked Pasta categories, as they generally include the submissions that can benefit the most from a lot of feedback and suggestions.

As before, I’m putting the older updates below the “read more” to avoid causing confusion.

UPDATE 1/23:

I’m (somewhat) back, and don’t worry, I am fine. I’ve finally passed the “sleeping all day” phase – turns out prescription painkillers make me incredibly tired, even more so than the antibiotics that I’d been on previously. The painkillers do make me feel a bit nauseated, to the point where long periods of time looking at the computer screen or TV, certain foods, car rides, etc can make me feel pretty rotten and send me running back to bed. So while I’m starting the process of getting back into reading submissions, it might be a couple more days until I’m able to do it for any long periods of time, so I have to warn you guys not to expect me to dive back into things at full speed.

I am going to need to get through a few more days of submissions before I begin posting again. I need to get a better idea of where we’re at with the quality:quantity ratio. Specifically, I need to figure out if posting 2 pastas a day is still easily viable, or if I need to drop down to one per day. As I’ve said before, I’ve received a higher amount of submissions than ever before, but most of them are – not to be rude – not particularly impressive. This means that it takes me longer to find postable submissions, which means that reducing the amount of published pastas to one per day might be easier/more realistic for me at this point in time. Once I get a decent idea of what I’m working with in regards to submissions, I can also come up with a time frame for the next submission open/close period.

Expect some posts on Crappypasta within the day, so at least you guys have that to look forward to. Sorry about the delay on publishing and reading submissions. I owe you all a lot of thanks for the outpouring of nice comments in this post; I was honestly expecting to get yelled at, so this has been a really pleasant surprise. Thanks also go out to my unnamed-by-request friend who stood in for me with approving comments and made sure that the submission form got closed on time. You are all very much appreciated.

I’m putting the original post under the read more, so as not to cause confusion. If you’re seeing this on the front page and have no idea what’s going on, click the read more icon or the post title and you’ll see the rest of this post.

ORIGINAL POST FROM 1/13:

Hi guys, derpbutt here. As I’ve mentioned once or twice in the comments, I’ve been on a run of antibiotics and had an upcoming surgery to fix my current health issue. The surgery is tomorrow, and I’m told that I’ll need a couple of days to recover. I’m to expect to be very sleepy and not much in the mood for doing anything productive during this time. Given how sleepy the antibiotics have already been making me, I’m taking this to mean that I’ll be pretty much a zombie for a few days.

That said, to make things a bit easier on me, no new pastas will be posted until I’m recovered. I’ve been playing catch-up with scheduling submissions anyhow due to the combination of antibiotics drawing me to spend most free time asleep and the high quantity/low quality ratio of recent submissions. This means that I was only getting things scheduled the night before they went up on the site anyhow, and I’ve been stressed out about how I was going to make this work when I was even more out of commission.

Solution: I will drift in and out to approve comments and make sure that nothing’s exploded, and I’m asking a trusted friend to monitor the health of the site for me – essentially babysitting to make sure we’re not hacked while I’m unconscious. And before you ask, no, he’s not interested or capable in doing anything on the submission side of things, so be happy that there’s even someone trustworthy willing to do this much for us, please.

I hope that you all understand, and I sincerely hope that the lack of stress helps me recover more quickly. Truth be told, I’ve never had to have surgery before so I’m pretty nervous as it is, and having you guys be nice about me needing a short break would definitely help to ease my mind.

To make up for this, I am extending the submission open period. You will now have until next Sunday, January 20th, to submit. Writers, take advantage of this small break to send me some really awesome pastas, please. I won’t be able to eat solid foods for a bit, so figurative pasta will have to do!

I cannot give a precise date for when I’ll be back in fighting shape, but it is my sincere hope that it won’t take too long. Take care!

  • Night

    That sucks,hope you get better and continue putting up with us,get well.

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  • https://www.facebook.com/GhastlyTalesPresents Michael Whitehouse

    Health first my friend. We’d hate to see our Derp broken ;) Take all the time you need, we’ll all be here when you return . Get well soon! :)

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  • Mrs. Tomlinson

    Holy crap. I hope you get better quick. I hope the surgery goes well and you’re back on your feet and you shall be amazeballs once more. You’ll definitely be in my prayers. But it’s gonna be weird saying, “And I pray that Derpbutt will recover without error. Amen.”

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  • Kenzie

    I hope it all goes well! My friend’s getting surgery too, so I’ll divide my best wishes amongst both of you (: Half my best wishes!

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  • Kenzie

    Random question… Is “pasta” in Creepypasta pronounced like the food, “pah-stah”, or like “pay-stah”? I have heard it pronounced both ways on several different occasions.

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    • La Mettrie

      I think it is personal choice, Kenzie. I’d guess pasta as in the food, but I’ve had American friends mock my pronunciation of that as well so I’ve really no idea.

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      • Kenzie

        Thank you, it was nice of you to answer my question.

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    • sowhatnow

      what…? really?
      what does this have to do with surgery?

      just sayin…

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  • Jason

    Wishing and praying for your health. Take it easy.

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  • Ben Robbins

    Get well soon, buddy, speedy recovery and all that jazz.
    Sleeps the bes thing for you! :)

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  • Quasar

    I’m so sorry derpbutt, for all the disasters you’ve had. Please get better soon and TAKE YOUR TIME to recover. I hope I speak for all the denizens of the site in saying that we can endure any length of time without pastas to ensure the well-being of our favourite unknown person.Best of luck for the surgery and hope you have a speedy recovery!

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  • ctw933

    i hope your operation goes well derp get some rest and take it easy for as long as needed don’t rush it

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  • Ismael Zuniga

    Get well!

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  • Madison

    Get to feeling better and good luck with yuor surgrey! I’ll be praying! :)

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  • MaasRed

    hey man..i don’t know what physical ailment you have but i hope you will get better soon :)

    you’re awesome for maintaining this site and doing all the work so take your time.

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  • http://www.cyco-sanchez.de Doc Sanchez

    Hey!

    Take care, and don’t worry too much! I definitely believe 110% that you’ll be alright!

    All the best, and again thanks for your work here, Doc

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  • La Mettrie

    Oh poor Derpbutt! The lot of us wish you a total recovery, and really, really, appreciate what you’ve done in putting up (and putting up with) creepypasta.com. We love you and wish you only the best, you awesome mystery human.

    And Derpbutt’s friend, should you read this, thank you for doing your pal (and us) a solid one.

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  • sowhatnow

    good luck with the repairs
    and i hope they put all your parts back the right way:)

    get well soon:)

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  • Sean

    >.< You sound like Adam Gontier

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  • tattletle strangler

    get well soon, also, what is the surgery for?

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  • M.E.W

    Get well soon Derpy!!! Take all the time you need to recover.

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  • rhysmottace

    Hope it went well

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  • Tariq

    May I ask how your surgery went?

    And may I inquire a little further and ask what the surgery was for (which body part)?

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    • http://www.creepypasta.com derpbutt

      Hi Tariq. Friend who is monitoring site here. Don’t want to comment too much under his username to avoid confusion. So will just reply to this one. Small complication arose with anesthesia. Surgery was delayed until yesterday. Not sure of recovery time or details or any future appointments. He will be fine. Sleeping a lot. On heavy painkillers. Don’t think he wants me to go into personal details about what is going on. sorry. But did tell me it is ok to reply and let you know surgery is over. Passing on well wishes. Thanks.

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      • Kenzie

        I’m glad it went well!

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      • Tariq

        Oh good I’m glad the surgery went well.

        Yeah you don’t have to disclose any personal stuff for him, if he wants to mention it when he gets back that’s fine but you don’t bother. Send him my condolences and tell him to take his time and recover properly.

        And don’t bother replying to say anything in response to this, I get it, you don’t want to post under his name. Thanks again for letting us know.

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        • Anonymous

          Good glad it went well

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  • lollipop_gestapo

    For my own amusement, I’m imagining you’re having a sex change operation, and when you return, your name will be DerpVerginer. In all seriousness, I hope there are no complications and you go back to your normal self soon

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  • THEN WHO WAS….nevermind…

    Everything will go smoothly as possible and you will be fine. Take that much needed break!

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  • YOU CANT HANDLE THE- hai

    get well soon derp :)

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  • ReDdevil

    just a question to u derpbutt.How/From where did u get the idea to open a site which gives a whole new genre of horror?

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  • Anonymous

    I submitted a pasta but I’m doubting if I pasted it correctly. Is there anyway to check what I submitted or could I submit it again just to be sure?

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