Scary Paranormal Stories & Short Horror Microfiction

Creepypasta

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UPDATE 2/4:

I’m working on reading submissions and getting things scheduled. Expect to see new pastas on the main page starting on February 8th, and please do visit Crappypasta if you’re really starving for new pastas! I’ve been updating it for about a week now, and I’m sure the authors would appreciate some constructive criticism. Remember, the more we can improve the community’s overall skill level, the easier it will be for me to find new main-site pastas! Most of the holdup right now comes from the simple fact that I have to get through roughly 50+ unpostable submissions to find one acceptable submission. Please remember that I can only work with what I’m given, and I have no spider-sense that will allow me to bypass the slush and zero in on the good stuff. It’s my hope that if the community legitimately helps the Crappypasta authors, this ratio of crap:creep may become a bit better in the future.

Please pay particular attention to the Just Needs Polishing, Shows Promise and Undercooked Pasta categories, as they generally include the submissions that can benefit the most from a lot of feedback and suggestions.

As before, I’m putting the older updates below the “read more” to avoid causing confusion.

UPDATE 1/23:

I’m (somewhat) back, and don’t worry, I am fine. I’ve finally passed the “sleeping all day” phase – turns out prescription painkillers make me incredibly tired, even more so than the antibiotics that I’d been on previously. The painkillers do make me feel a bit nauseated, to the point where long periods of time looking at the computer screen or TV, certain foods, car rides, etc can make me feel pretty rotten and send me running back to bed. So while I’m starting the process of getting back into reading submissions, it might be a couple more days until I’m able to do it for any long periods of time, so I have to warn you guys not to expect me to dive back into things at full speed.

I am going to need to get through a few more days of submissions before I begin posting again. I need to get a better idea of where we’re at with the quality:quantity ratio. Specifically, I need to figure out if posting 2 pastas a day is still easily viable, or if I need to drop down to one per day. As I’ve said before, I’ve received a higher amount of submissions than ever before, but most of them are – not to be rude – not particularly impressive. This means that it takes me longer to find postable submissions, which means that reducing the amount of published pastas to one per day might be easier/more realistic for me at this point in time. Once I get a decent idea of what I’m working with in regards to submissions, I can also come up with a time frame for the next submission open/close period.

Expect some posts on Crappypasta within the day, so at least you guys have that to look forward to. Sorry about the delay on publishing and reading submissions. I owe you all a lot of thanks for the outpouring of nice comments in this post; I was honestly expecting to get yelled at, so this has been a really pleasant surprise. Thanks also go out to my unnamed-by-request friend who stood in for me with approving comments and made sure that the submission form got closed on time. You are all very much appreciated.

I’m putting the original post under the read more, so as not to cause confusion. If you’re seeing this on the front page and have no idea what’s going on, click the read more icon or the post title and you’ll see the rest of this post.

ORIGINAL POST FROM 1/13:

Hi guys, derpbutt here. As I’ve mentioned once or twice in the comments, I’ve been on a run of antibiotics and had an upcoming surgery to fix my current health issue. The surgery is tomorrow, and I’m told that I’ll need a couple of days to recover. I’m to expect to be very sleepy and not much in the mood for doing anything productive during this time. Given how sleepy the antibiotics have already been making me, I’m taking this to mean that I’ll be pretty much a zombie for a few days.

That said, to make things a bit easier on me, no new pastas will be posted until I’m recovered. I’ve been playing catch-up with scheduling submissions anyhow due to the combination of antibiotics drawing me to spend most free time asleep and the high quantity/low quality ratio of recent submissions. This means that I was only getting things scheduled the night before they went up on the site anyhow, and I’ve been stressed out about how I was going to make this work when I was even more out of commission.

Solution: I will drift in and out to approve comments and make sure that nothing’s exploded, and I’m asking a trusted friend to monitor the health of the site for me – essentially babysitting to make sure we’re not hacked while I’m unconscious. And before you ask, no, he’s not interested or capable in doing anything on the submission side of things, so be happy that there’s even someone trustworthy willing to do this much for us, please.

I hope that you all understand, and I sincerely hope that the lack of stress helps me recover more quickly. Truth be told, I’ve never had to have surgery before so I’m pretty nervous as it is, and having you guys be nice about me needing a short break would definitely help to ease my mind.

To make up for this, I am extending the submission open period. You will now have until next Sunday, January 20th, to submit. Writers, take advantage of this small break to send me some really awesome pastas, please. I won’t be able to eat solid foods for a bit, so figurative pasta will have to do!

I cannot give a precise date for when I’ll be back in fighting shape, but it is my sincere hope that it won’t take too long. Take care!

  • https://twitter.com/Star_Kindler Star Kindler

    You are in my thoughts and prayers oh derpy one. I hope your surgery goes well and that you feel better soon. :)

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    • http://www.creepypasta.com derpbutt

      Thanks!

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      • Slenderman

        Glad to see you back……

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        • http://n/a TTHE REAL slenderman

          your a jerk I AM THE REAL SLENDERMAN!!!!! jk your not a jerk. but dont try to steal my name…. OR ILL STEAL YOUR FACE!

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  • Stekkmen

    Good luck!

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  • Stephan D. Harris

    Holy shit dude, I didn’t know it was that bad. This is where some people would pray for you, but since I don’t do that you get this….

    ….please be okay.

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    • http://www.creepypasta.com derpbutt

      I should be fine, it’s not particularly risky – it’s the followup surgery in 4-5 months that’s going to be the big one that I’m trying not to think about at all because I’m a big baby.

      I’ll just be too stupid to handle submissions properly this week, and probably be grumpier than usual because I’ll be on a diet of blended food.

      On the other hand, when I get back my mood should be well improved because I won’t be in pain all the time, so I might even be nicer!

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  • LumaKing

    Good luck with the surgery!

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  • Tyler Ahde

    O DerpButt Plz Get Well Soon

    //Tyler

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  • Theresa

    Thanks for all you’ve done for everyone, and I hope everything goes smoothly.

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  • YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE USERNAME!

    It sounds like you’ve been through absolute HELL recently, hacker, virus, submission delay, death of a loved one, sickness, recent crap pastas, now this! Get well man. You need a break.

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  • monkyvirus

    Hope it all goes ok!

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  • E

    Hope you get well soon :)

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  • http://grakmarr.blogspot.com Dave Taylor

    Derp: I can’t even begin to express how sorry I am that you’re having to go through this. I discovered this website mere weeks ago, and you’ve seemingly been running it for years.

    In the time I’ve been here, I’ve really become as fond of you as anyone can of any anonymous person who shares their sense of humor and horror. I respect you, and I hate that you’re having to face these tribulations. You sacrifice your free time in order to run this website, and you deal with an unknowable quantity of shit because of that decision.

    I wish you the best, and a speedy recovery. You’re by far my favorite person that I’ve never met. I wish people appreciated everything you do as I do, but such is the world we live in.

    The selfish part of me wishes you would hurry the hell back, but the part of me that realizes you’re a fellow human being hopes that you stay gone way longer than you require. Whatever happens, I hope your recovery is so speedy that someone feels the need to write a Creepypasta about it.

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  • ẠbracadaveЯ

    Whoa, shit. Look after yourself, hey.
    Hope you’ll be feeling better soon. And hopefully no arseholes decide to take advantage of your absence. That’d be fuckin’ low, seriously.
    Take care, and may the repairs (and subsequent recovery) be quick and relatively painless. Good luck.

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  • Suzanne

    Hope surgery goes well!

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  • Anna

    I hope you feel better soon!

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  • http://www.wattpad.com/user/ARScroggins A.R. Scroggins

    Damn, this makes me feel really bad about that surgery pasta I submitted recently.

    In all seriousness though, get well soon. This and nakedmidgetsin3d.xxx are my favorite websites. And one those has already been disconnected due to legal issues.

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  • Len Lye

    Bless you derp. Most likely Slenderman and Jeff are duking it out in there so hopefully this’ll get it out of you

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  • Steph

    Hope things go well for you! And if it makes you feel any better, I’ll be praying for you as well. And don’t worry about not getting any submissions through for a few days, I’m sure we’ll survive. This will give a lot of us time to catch up on some of the older pastas, anyhow.
    Good luck!

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  • Chizzuh

    Dude, there’s no explanations needed. Your health and well-being will and SHOULD always come before the site. You are, as you’ve had to reiterate far too many times, a human being, not a computer. You require and deserve a break. I know you feel like you’re under pressure because you feel you need to please everyone on here, but when it comes to situations like these, you just need to say screw it and focus on getting better. We want a moderator, not a martyr. I sincerely hope all goes well and you’re feeling better, physically and mentally. Take it easy, Derp! Literally.

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  • An Indian

    Take good care of yourself. We all love you. Please convey our Thanx to your dear friend. Hope to see you in good health and mood. Don’t worry about us, we will read each other’s comments in the meanwhile :D

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  • no one important

    Anyone who says anything negative about your activity to do with this site (submissions, comments, etc) regardless of whether you are sick or not, has a utter lack of respect.
    This site is like another world for me.
    You are a god.

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  • blah

    get well soon

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  • DxV

    Hey man, good luck there! I’ve had a couple of surgerys before, so I can tell you that as long as the doctor says it isn’t risky you don’t need to worry one bit.

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  • Tariq

    Hope the surgery goes well, feel better.

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  • REAVER247

    Oh sir Derpbut the great, you are a kind person and deserve a break, you give so much and all we do is take. You work yourself over your limits and the people who spam, troll, and annoy you should be ashamed. Those who complain when your are taking a leave of absence are selfish, you can take a break whenever you feel like it, not just because you are sick. I frequent this site very often but this is my first comment, when I read those mean comments I understand your quiet rage. Rest now and get well soon, then continue to bless us with some of the delicious pasta your site has to offer. We honestly do not deserve your eferts to run this site, but know you are greatly appreciated. (Left out out word in previous comment approve this one:)

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    • REAVER247

      wtf misspelled efforts what is wrong with me lol

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  • Meow:Cat

    Hope your surgery goes well, and you get better. I think I can handle no new pastas for awhile, I’ll read old pastas. My prayers to you and hope all goes well.

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  • ninjab33z

    I’d rather you take a break now than go crazy on stress but don’t take your time please?

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