Psychosis
Sunday
I’m not sure why I’m writing this down on paper and not on my computer. I guess I’ve just noticed some odd things. It’s not that I don’t trust the computer… I just… need to organize my thoughts. I need to get down all the details somewhere objective, somewhere I know that what I write can’t be deleted or… changed… not that that’s happened. It’s just… everything blurs together here, and the fog of memory lends a strange cast to things…
I’m starting to feel cramped in this small apartment. Maybe that’s the problem. I just had to go and choose the cheapest apartment, the only one in the basement. The lack of windows down here makes day and night seem to slip by seamlessly. I haven’t been out in a few days because I’ve been working on this programming project so intensively. I suppose I just wanted to get it done. Hours of sitting and staring at a monitor can make anyone feel strange, I know, but I don’t think that’s it.
I’m not sure when I first started to feel like something was odd. I can’t even define what it is. Maybe I just haven’t talked to anyone in awhile. That’s the first thing that crept up on me. Everyone I normally talk to online while I program has been idle, or they’ve simply not logged on at all. My instant messages go unanswered. The last e-mail I got from anybody was a friend saying he’d talk to me when he got back from the store, and that was yesterday. I’d call with my cell phone, but reception’s terrible down here. Yeah, that’s it. I just need to call someone. I’m going to go outside.
—
Well, that didn’t work so well. As the tingle of fear fades, I’m feeling a little ridiculous for being scared at all. I looked in the mirror before I went out, but I didn’t shave the two-day stubble I’ve grown. I figured I was just going out for a quick cell phone call. I did change my shirt, though, because it was lunchtime, and I guessed that I’d run into at least one person I knew. That didn’t end up happening. I wish it did.
When I went out, I opened the door to my small apartment slowly. A small feeling of apprehension had somehow already lodged itself in me, for some indefinable reason. I chalked it up to having not spoken to anyone but myself for a day or two. I peered down the dingy grey hallway, made dingier by the fact that it was a basement hallway. On one end, a large metal door led to the building’s furnace room. It was locked, of course. Two dreary soda machines stood by it; I bought a soda from one the first day I moved in, but it had a two year old expiration date. I’m fairly sure nobody knows those machines are even down here, or my cheap landlady just doesn’t care to get them restocked.
I closed my door softly, and walked the other direction, taking care not to make a sound. I have no idea why I chose to do that, but it was fun giving in to the strange impulse not to break the droning hum of the soda machines, at least for the moment. I got to the stairwell, and took the stairs up to the building’s front door. I looked through the heavy door’s small square window, and received quite the shock: it was definitely not lunchtime. City-gloom hung over the dark street outside, and the traffic lights at the intersection in the distance blinked yellow. Dim clouds, purple and black from the glow of the city, hung overhead. Nothing moved, save the few sidewalk trees that shifted in the wind. I remember shivering, though I wasn’t cold. Maybe it was the wind outside. I could vaguely hear it through the heavy metal door, and I knew it was that unique kind of late-night wind, the kind that was constant, cold, and quiet, save for the rhythmic music it made as it passed through countless unseen tree leaves.
I decided not to go outside.
Instead, I lifted my cell phone to the door’s little window, and checked the signal meter. The bars filled up the meter, and I smiled. Time to hear someone else’s voice, I remember thinking, relieved. It was such a strange thing, to be afraid of nothing. I shook my head, laughing at myself silently. I hit speed-dial for my best friend Amy’s number, and held the phone up to my ear. It rang once… but then it stopped. Nothing happened. I listened to silence for a good twenty seconds, then hung up. I frowned, and looked at the signal meter again – still full. I went to dial her number again, but then my phone rang in my hand, startling me. I put it up to my ear.
“Hello?” I asked, immediately fighting down a small shock at hearing the first spoken voice in days, even if it was my own. I had gotten used to the droning hum of the building’s inner workings, my computer, and the soda machines in the hallway. There was no response to my greeting at first, but then, finally, a voice came.
“Hey,” said a clear male voice, obviously of college age, like me. “Who’s this?”
“John,” I replied, confused.
“Oh, sorry, wrong number,” he replied, then hung up.
I lowered the phone slowly and leaned against the thick brick wall of the stairwell. That was strange. I looked at my received calls list, but the number was unfamiliar. Before I could think on it further, the phone rang loudly, shocking me yet again. This time, I looked at the caller before I answered. It was another unfamiliar number. This time, I held the phone up to my ear, but said nothing. I heard nothing but the general background noise of a phone. Then, a familiar voice broke my tension.
“John?” was the single word, in Amy’s voice.
I breathed a sigh of relief.
“Hey, it’s you,” I replied.
“Who else would it be?” she responded. “Oh, the number. I’m at a party on Seventh Street, and my phone died just as you called me. This is someone else’s phone, obviously.”
“Oh, ok,” I said.
“Where are you?” she asked.
My eyes glanced over the drab white-washed cylinder block walls and the heavy metal door with its small window.
“At my building,” I sighed. “Just feeling cooped up. I didn’t realize it was so late.”
“You should come here,” she said, laughing.
“Nah, I don’t feel like looking for some strange place by myself in the middle of the night,” I said, looking out the window at the silent windy street that secretly scared me just a tiny bit. “I think I’m just going to keep working or go to bed.”
“Nonsense!” she replied. “I can come get you! Your building is close to Seventh Street, right?”
“How drunk are you?” I asked lightheartedly. “You know where I live.”
“Oh, of course,” she said abruptly. “I guess I can’t get there by walking, huh?”
“You could if you wanted to waste half an hour,” I told her.
“Right,” she said. “Ok, have to go, good luck with your work!”
I lowered the phone once more, looking at the numbers flash as the call ended. Then, the droning silence suddenly reasserted itself in my ears. The two strange calls and the eerie street outside just drove home my aloneness in this empty stairwell. Perhaps from having seen too many scary movies, I had the sudden inexplicable idea that something could look in the door’s window and see me, some sort of horrible entity that hovered at the edge of aloneness, just waiting to creep up on unsuspecting people that strayed too far from other human beings. I knew the fear was irrational, but nobody else was around, so… I jumped down the stairs, ran down the hallway into my room, and closed the door as swiftly as I could while still staying silent. Like I said, I feel a little ridiculous for being scared of nothing, and the fear has already faded. Writing this down helps a lot – it makes me realize that nothing is wrong. It filters out half-formed thoughts and fears and leaves only cold, hard facts. It’s late, I got a call from a wrong number, and Amy’s phone died, so she called me back from another number. Nothing strange is happening.
Still, there was something a little off about that conversation. I know it could have just been the alcohol she’d had… or was it even her that seemed off to me? Or was it… yes, that was it! I didn’t realize it until this moment, writing these things down. I knew writing things down would help. She said she was at a party, but I only heard silence in the background! Of course, that doesn’t mean anything in particular, as she could have just gone outside to make the call. No… that couldn’t be it either. I didn’t hear the wind! I need to see if the wind is still blowing!
Monday
I forgot to finish writing last night. I’m not sure what I expected to see when I ran up the stairwell and looked out the heavy metal door’s window. I’m feeling ridiculous. Last night’s fear seems hazy and unreasonable to me now. I can’t wait to go out into the sunlight. I’m going to check my email, shave, shower, and finally get out of here! Wait… I think I heard something.
—
It was thunder. That whole sunlight and fresh air thing didn’t happen. I went out into the stairwell and up the stairs, only to find disappointment. The heavy metal door’s little window showed only flowing water, as torrential rain slammed against it. Only a very dim, gloomy light filtered in through the rain, but at least I knew it was daytime, even if it was a grey, sickly, wet day. I tried looking out the window and waiting for lightning to illuminate the gloom, but the rain was too heavy and I couldn’t make out anything more than vague weird shapes moving at odd angles in the waves washing down the window. Disappointed, I turned around, but I didn’t want to go back to my room. Instead, I wandered further up the stairs, past the first floor, and the second. The stairs ended at the third floor, the highest floor in the building. I looked through the glass that ran up the outer wall of the stairwell, but it was that warped, thick kind that scatters the light, not that there was much to see through the rain to begin with.
I opened the stairwell door and wandered down the hallway. The ten or so thick wooden doors, painted blue a long time ago, were all closed. I listened as I walked, but it was the middle of the day, so I wasn’t surprised that I heard nothing but the rain outside. As I stood there in the dim hallway, listening to the rain, I had the strange fleeting impression that the doors were standing like silent granite monoliths erected by some ancient forgotten civilization for some unfathomable guardian purpose. Lightning flashed, and I could have sworn that, for just a moment, the old grainy blue wood looked just like rough stone. I laughed at myself for letting my imagination get the best of me, but then it occurred to me that the dim gloom and lightning must mean there was a window somewhere in the hallway. A vague memory surfaced, and I suddenly recalled that the third floor had an alcove and an inset window halfway down the floor’s hallway.
Excited to look out into the rain and possibly see another human being, I quickly walked over to the alcove, finding the large thin glass window. Rain washed down it, as with the front door’s window, but I could open this one. I reached a hand out to slide it open, but hesitated. I had the strangest feeling that if I opened that window, I would see something absolutely horrifying on the other side. Everything’s been so odd lately… so I came up with a plan, and I came back here to get what I needed. I don’t seriously think anything will come of it, but I’m bored, it’s raining, and I’m going stir crazy. I came back to get my webcam. The cord isn’t long enough to reach the third floor by any means, so instead I’m going to hide it between the two soda machines in the dark end of my basement hallway, run the wire along the wall and under my door, and put black duct tape over the wire to blend it in with the black plastic strip that runs along the base of the hallway’s walls. I know this is silly, but I don’t have anything better to do…
Well, nothing happened. I propped open the hallway-to-stairwell door, steeled myself, then flung the heavy front door wide open and ran like hell down the stairs to my room and slammed the door. I watched the webcam on my computer intently, seeing the hallway outside my door and most of the stairwell. I’m watching it right now, and I don’t see anything interesting. I just wish the camera’s position was different, so that I could see out the front door. Hey! Somebody’s online!
—
I got out an older, less functional webcam that I had in my closet to video chat with my friend online. I couldn’t really explain to him why I wanted to video chat, but it felt good to see another person’s face. He couldn’t talk very long, and we didn’t talk about anything meaningful, but I feel much better. My strange fear has almost passed. I would feel completely better, but there was something… odd… about our conversation. I know that I’ve said that everything has seemed odd, but… still, he was very vague in his responses. I can’t recall one specific thing that he said… no particular name, or place, or event… but he did ask for my email address to keep in touch. Wait, I just got an email.
I’m about to go out. I just got an email from Amy that asked me to meet her for dinner at ‘the place we usually go to.’ I do love pizza, and I’ve just been eating random food from my poorly stocked fridge for days, so I can’t wait. Again, I feel ridiculous about the odd couple of days I’ve been having. I should destroy this journal when I get back. Oh, another email.
—
Oh my god. I almost left the email and opened the door. I almost opened the door. I almost opened the door, but I read the email first! It was from a friend I hadn’t heard from in a long time, and it was sent to a huge number of emails that must have been every person he had saved in his address list. It had no subject, and it said, simply:
seen with your own eyes don’t trust them they
What the hell is that supposed to mean? The words shock me, and I keep going over and over them. Is it a desperate email sent just as… something happened? The words are obviously cut off without finishing! On any other day I would have dismissed this as spam from a computer virus or something, but the words… seen with your own eyes! I can’t help but read over this journal and think back on the last few days and realize that I have not seen another person with my own eyes or talked to another person face to face. The webcam conversation with my friend was so strange, so vague, so… eerie, now that I think about it. Was it eerie? Or is the fear clouding my memory? My mind toys with the progression of events I’ve written here, pointing out that I have not been presented with one single fact that I did not specifically give out unsuspectingly. The random ‘wrong number’ that got my name and the subsequent strange return call from Amy, the friend that asked for my email address… I messaged him first when I saw him online! And then I got my first email a few minutes after that conversation! Oh my god! That phone call with Amy! I said over the phone – I said that I was within half an hour’s walk of Seventh Street! They know I’m near there! What if they’re trying to find me?! Where is everyone else? Why haven’t I seen or heard anyone else in days?
No, no, this is crazy. This is absolutely crazy. I need to calm down. This madness needs to end.
—
I don’t know what to think. I ran about my apartment furiously, holding my cell phone up to every corner to see if it got a signal through the heavy walls. Finally, in the tiny bathroom, near one ceiling corner, I got a single bar. Holding my phone there, I sent a text message to every number in my list. Not wanting to betray anything about my unfounded fears, I simply sent:
You seen anyone face to face lately?
At that point, I just wanted any reply back. I didn’t care what the reply was, or if I embarrassed myself. I tried to call someone a few times, but I couldn’t get my head up high enough, and if I brought my cell phone down even an inch, it lost signal. Then I remembered the computer, and rushed over to it, instant messaging everyone online. Most were idle or away from their computer. Nobody responded. My messages grew more frantic, and I started telling people where I was and to stop by in person for a host of barely passable reasons. I didn’t care about anything by that point. I just needed to see another person!
I also tore apart my apartment looking for something that I might have missed; some way to contact another human being without opening the door. I know it’s crazy, I know it’s unfounded, but what if? WHAT IF? I just need to be sure! I taped the phone to the ceiling in case
Tuesday
THE PHONE RANG! Exhausted from last night’s rampage, I must have fallen asleep. I woke up to the phone ringing, and ran into the bathroom, stood on the toilet, and flipped open the phone taped to the ceiling. It was Amy, and I feel so much better. She was really worried about me, and apparently had been trying to contact me since the last time I talked to her. She’s coming over now, and, yes, she knows where I am without me telling her. I feel so embarrassed. I am definitely throwing this journal away before anyone sees it. I don’t even know why I’m writing in it now. Maybe it’s just because it’s the only communication I’ve had at all since… god knows when. I look like hell, too. I looked in the mirror before I came back in here. My eyes are sunken, my stubble is thicker, and I just look generally unhealthy.
My apartment is trashed, but I’m not going to clean it up. I think I need someone else to see what I’ve been through. These past few days have NOT been normal. I am not one to imagine things. I know I have been the victim of extreme probability. I probably missed seeing another person a dozen times. I just happened to go out when it was late at night, or the middle of the day when everyone was gone. Everything’s perfectly fine, I know this now. Plus, I found something in the closet last night that has helped me tremendously: a television! I set it up just before I wrote this, and it’s on in the background. Television has always been an escape for me, and it reminds me that there’s a world beyond these dingy brick walls.
I’m glad Amy’s the only one that responded to me after last night’s frantic pestering of everyone I could contact. She’s been my best friend for years. She doesn’t know it, but I count the day that I met her among one of the few moments of true happiness in my life. I remember that warm summer day fondly. It seems a different reality from this dark, rainy, lonely place. I feel like I spent days sitting in that playground, much too old to play, just talking with her and hanging around doing nothing at all. I still feel like I can go back to that moment sometimes, and it reminds me that this damn place is not all that there is… finally, a knock on the door!
—
I thought it was odd that I couldn’t see her through the camera I hid between the two soda machines. I figured that it was bad positioning, like when I couldn’t see out the front door. I should have known. I should have known! After the knock, I yelled through the door jokingly that I had a camera between the soda machines, because I was embarrassed myself that I had taken this paranoia so far. After I did that, I saw her image walk over to the camera and look down at it. She smiled and waved.
“Hey!” she said to the camera brightly, giving it a wry look.
“It’s weird, I know,” I said into the mic attached to my computer. “I’ve had a weird few days.”
“Must have,” she replied. “Open the door, John.”
I hesitated. How could I be sure?
“Hey, humor me a second here,” I told her through the mic. “Tell me one thing about us. Just prove to me you’re you.”
She gave the camera a weird look.
“Um, alright,” she said slowly, thinking. “We met randomly at a playground when we were both way too old to be there?”
I sighed deeply as reality returned and fear faded. God, I’d been so ridiculous. Of course it was Amy! That day wasn’t anywhere in the world except in my memory. I’d never even mentioned it to anyone, not out of embarrassment, but out of a strange secret nostalgia and a longing for those days to return. If there was some unknown force at work trying to trick me, as I feared, there was no way they could know about that day.
“Haha, alright, I’ll explain everything,” I told her. “Be right there.”
I ran to my small bathroom and fixed my hair as best I could. I looked like hell, but she would understand. Snickering at my own unbelievable behavior and the mess I’d made of the place, I walked to the door. I put my hand on the doorknob and gave the mess one last look. So ridiculous, I thought. My eyes traced over the half-eaten food lying on the ground, the overflowing trash bin, and the bed I’d tipped to the side looking for… God knows what. I almost turned to the door and opened it, but my eyes fell on one last thing: the old webcam, the one I used for that eerily vacant chat with my friend.
Its silent black sphere lay haphazardly tossed to the side, its lens pointed at the table where this journal lay. An overwhelming terror took me as I realized that if something could see through that camera, it would have seen what I just wrote about that day. I asked her for any one thing about us, and she chose the only thing in the world that I thought they or it did not know… but IT DID! IT DID KNOW! IT COULD HAVE BEEN WATCHING ME THE WHOLE TIME!
I didn’t open the door. I screamed. I screamed in uncontrollable terror. I stomped on the old webcam on the floor. The door shook, and the doorknob tried to turn, but I didn’t hear Amy’s voice through the door. Was the basement door, made to keep out drafts, too thick? Or was Amy not outside? What could have been trying to get in, if not her? What the hell is out there?! I saw her on my computer through the camera outside, I heard her on the speakers through the camera outside, but was it real?! How can I know?! She’s gone now – I screamed, and shouted for help! I piled up everything in my apartment against the front door –
Friday
At least I think that it’s Friday. I broke everything electronic. I smashed my computer to pieces. Every single thing on there could have been accessed by network access, or worse, altered. I’m a programmer, I know. Every little piece of information I gave out since this started – my name, my email, my location – none of it came back from outside until I gave it out. I’ve been going over and over what I wrote. I’ve been pacing back and forth, alternating between stark terror and overpowering disbelief. Sometimes I’m absolutely certain some phantom entity is dead set on the simple goal of getting me to go outside. Back to the beginning, with the phone call from Amy, she was effectively asking me to open the door and go outside.
I keep running through it in my head. One point of view says I’ve acted like a madman, and all of this is the extreme convergence of probability – never going outside at the right times by pure luck, never seeing another person by pure chance, getting a random nonsense email from some computer virus at just the right time. The other point of view says that extreme convergence of probability is the reason that whatever’s out there hasn’t gotten me already. I keep thinking: I never opened the window on the third floor. I never opened the front door, until that incredibly stupid stunt with the hidden camera after which I ran straight to my room and slammed the door. I haven’t opened my own solid door since I flung open the front door of the building. Whatever’s out there – if anything’s out there – never made an ‘appearance’ in the building before I opened the front door. Maybe the reason it wasn’t in the building already was that it was elsewhere getting everyone else… and then it waited, until I betrayed my existence by trying to call Amy… a call which didn’t work, until it called me and asked me my name…
Terror literally overwhelms me every time I try to fit the pieces of this nightmare together. That email – short, cut off – was it from someone trying to get word out? Some friendly voice desperately trying to warn me before it came? Seen with my own eyes, don’t trust them – exactly what I’ve been so suspicious of. It could have masterful control of all things electronic, practicing its insidious deception to trick me into coming outside. Why can’t it get in? It knocked on the door – it must have some solid presence… the door… the image of those doors in the upper hallway as guardian monoliths flashes back in my mind every time I trace this path of thoughts. If there is some phantom entity trying to get me to go outside, maybe it can’t get through doors. I keep thinking back over all the books I’ve read or movies I’ve seen, trying to generate some explanation for this. Doors have always been such intense foci of human imagination, always seen as wards or portals of special importance. Or perhaps the door is just too thick? I know that I couldn’t bash through any of the doors in this building, let alone the heavy basement ones. Aside from that, the real question is, why does it even want me? If it just wanted to kill me, it could do it any number of ways, including just waiting until I starve to death. What if it doesn’t want to kill me? What if it has some far more horrific fate in store for me? God, what can I do to escape this nightmare?!
A knock on the door…
—
I told the people on the other side of the door I need a minute to think and I’ll come out. I’m really just writing this down so I can figure out what to do. At least this time I heard their voices. My paranoia – and yes, I recognize I’m being paranoid – has me thinking of all sorts of ways that their voices could be faked electronically. There could be nothing but speakers outside, simulating human voices. Did it really take them three days to come talk to me? Amy is supposedly out there, along with two policemen and a psychiatrist. Maybe it took them three days to think of what to say to me – the psychiatrist’s claim could be pretty convincing, if I decided to think this has all been a crazy misunderstanding, and not some entity trying to trick me into opening the door.
The psychiatrist had an older voice, authoritarian but still caring. I liked it. I’m desperate just to see someone with my own eyes! He said I have something called cyber-psychosis, and I’m just one of a nationwide epidemic of thousands of people having breakdowns triggered by a suggestive email that ‘got through somehow.’ I swear he said ‘got through somehow.’ I think he means spread throughout the country inexplicably, but I’m incredibly suspicious that the entity slipped up and revealed something. He said I am part of a wave of ‘emergent behavior’, that a lot of other people are having the same problem with the same fears, even though we’ve never communicated.
That neatly explains the strange email about eyes that I got. I didn’t get the original triggering email. I got a descendant of it – my friend could have broken down too, and tried to warn everyone he knew against his paranoid fears. That’s how the problem spreads, the psychiatrist claims. I could have spread it, too, with my texts and instant messages online to everybody I know. One of those people might be melting down right now, after being triggered by something I sent them, something they might interpret any way that they want, something like a text saying seen anyone face to face lately? The psychiatrist told me that he didn’t want to ‘lose another one’, that people like me are intelligent, and that’s our downfall. We draw connections so well that we draw them even when they shouldn’t be there. He said it’s easy to get caught up in paranoia in our fast paced world, a constantly changing place where more and more of our interaction is simulated…
I have to give him one thing. It’s a great explanation. It neatly explains everything. It perfectly explains everything, in fact. I have every reason to shake off this nightmarish fear that some thing or consciousness or being out there wants me to open the door so it can capture me for some horrible fate worse than death. It would be foolish, after hearing that explanation, to stay in here until I starve to death just to spite the entity that might have got everyone else. It would be foolish to think that, after hearing that explanation, I might be one of the last people left alive on an empty world, hiding in my secure basement room, spiting some unthinkable deceptive entity just by refusing to be captured. It’s a perfect explanation for every single strange thing I’ve seen or heard, and I have every reason in the world to let all of my fears go, and open the door.
That’s exactly why I’m not going to.
How can I be sure?! How can I know what’s real and what’s deception? All of these damn things with their wires and their signals that originate from some unseen origin! They’re not real, I can’t be sure! Signals through a camera, faked video, deceptive phone calls, emails! Even the television, lying broken on the floor – how can I possibly know it’s real? It’s just signals, waves, light… the door! It’s bashing on the door! It’s trying to get in! What insane mechanical contrivance could it be using to simulate the sound of men attacking the heavy wood so well?! At least I’ll finally see it with my own eyes… there’s nothing left in here for it to deceive me with, I’ve ripped apart everything else! It can’t deceive my eyes, can it? Seen with your own eyes don’t trust them they… wait… was that desperate message telling me to trust my eyes, or warning me about my eyes too?! Oh my god, what’s the difference between a camera and my eyes? They both turn light into electrical signals – they’re the same! I can’t be deceived! I have to be sure! I have to be sure!
Date Unknown
I calmly asked for paper and a pen, day in and day out, until it finally gave them to me. Not that it matters. What am I going to do? Poke my eyes out? The bandages feel like part of me now. The pain is gone. I figure this will be one of my last chances to write legibly, as, without my sight to correct mistakes, my hands will slowly forget the motions involved. This is a sort of self-indulgence, this writing… it’s a relic of another time, because I’m certain everyone left in the world is dead… or something far worse.
I sit against the padded wall day in and day out. The entity brings me food and water. It masks itself as a kind nurse, as an unsympathetic doctor. I think it knows that my hearing has sharpened considerably now that I live in darkness. It fakes conversations in the hallways, on the off chance that I might overhear. One of the nurses talks about having a baby soon. One of the doctors lost his wife in a car accident. None of it matters, none of it is real. None of it gets to me, not like she does.
That’s the worst part, the part I almost can’t handle. The thing comes to me, masquerading as Amy. Its recreation is perfect. It sounds exactly like Amy, feels exactly like her. It even produces a reasonable facsimile of tears that it makes me feel on its lifelike cheeks. When it first dragged me here, it told me all the things I wanted to hear. It told me that she loved me, that she had always loved me, that it didn’t understand why I did this, that we could still have a life together, if only I would stop insisting that I was being deceived. It wanted me to believe… no, it needed me to believe that she was real.
I almost fell for it. I really did. I doubted myself for the longest time. In the end, though, it was all too perfect, too flawless, and too real. The false Amy used to come every day, and then every week, and finally stopped coming altogether… but I don’t think the entity will give up. I think the waiting game is just another one of its gambits. I will resist it for the rest of my life, if I have to. I don’t know what happened to the rest of the world, but I do know that this thing needs me to fall for its deceptions. If it needs that, then maybe, just maybe, I am a thorn in its agenda. Maybe Amy is still alive out there somewhere, kept alive only by my will to resist the deceiver. I hold on to that hope, rocking back and forth in my cell to pass the time. I will never give in. I will never break. I am… a hero!
====
The doctor read the paper the patient had scribbled on. It was barely readable, written in the shaky script of one who could not see. He wanted to smile at the man’s steadfast resolve, a reminder of the human will to survive, but he knew that the patient was completely delusional.
After all, a sane man would have fallen for the deception long ago.
The doctor wanted to smile. He wanted to whisper words of encouragement to the delusional man. He wanted to scream, but the nerve filaments wrapped around his head and into his eyes made him do otherwise. His body walked into the cell like a puppet, and told the patient, once more, that he was wrong, and that there was nobody trying to deceive him.
//
Credited to Gar/Matt Dymerski.
Bravo. I thought the whole time that it was a poor effort to make it seem like there was something more to the story, but the ending really tied it all together so perfectly
Long but very enjoyable story. 9/10
A long read, but a good one.
This has got to be one of my favorite pastas. I agree with Ryan, that made the length well worth it. However, regardless of the ending choice, I think that had it decided to go the more disappointing route at the end, I still would have felt it worth the read due to the great tension building moments throughout.
SECOND!!!
Delicious pasta.
I would have just asked Amy to verify something else.
It’s not like you only have one memory in common with each friend.
Brilliant story! Sad ending ;__;
Wow… This really got me to thinking. It was a wonderful Pasta, the best I have read. It did not make me so terrified I could not sleep, or look out windows, or give me a headache. It had great grammar. And was very well written. I wish there was a big book about the story of this man, and his, “Cyber-Psychosis” and again, it was a wonderful read. How he compared his own eyes, with the eyes of a machine, was beyond brilliant. It was the most interesting pasta that was not scary. I never knew it could work so well like that.
Nice. I enjoyed it.
Great build-up and good ending 10/10
Thanks for the positive feedback guys
though it seems my italics didn’t show up here. I’ll have to remember that for next time.
I deeply enjoyed this pasta, it’s one of the best one’s i’ve read in quite a while.
Bravo
So, does this make everyone feel better? Ya know, about the halloween incident?
Wait…What??
I was expecting the entire time that he was just going crazy, but still loving the pasta. it was written in a way that seemed obvious, hes nuts. but him being insane….saved him? trippy pasta is trippy. 10/10.
10/10, could have used a different ending, but other than that, it was awesome!
Doors; They are large rectangular blocks of wood used to fill ungainly holes in walls, not portals, silly~
*ahem*
Okay, I was getting hints of 1408 until he got to the mental hospital, then I was predicting a claw popping out of the doctor’s back. Then I squealed inside =D
Very good pasta, perfectly cooked and it leaves no bad aftertaste. 10/10
FANTASTIC!!!
Excellent – one of the best printed here in a long time. Professional quality.
Very scary. 9/10.
Weird. In a good way, I liked it. Almost makes me paramoid…
Great story, very well written. Not 100% sold on the ending, I think even without the very last section the story is just as good, maybe better.
Either way, great job! Look forward to seeing more from this writer.
Can someone explain the ending a little more clearly?
Incredible. Very very good.
9/10
Long but worth it. Very tasty!
Easily the best pasta I have ever read. Truly delicious.
Definitely my favorite pasta. Yes, it’s long, but sooo worth it. Really compelling.
excellently put together, great suspense and beautiful ending bravo
This was a very powerful, well done pasta. I could relate to the narrator in a few small ways…those times when I was a kid….and I invented these strange scenarios and applied them to real life…how I would convince myself, beyond a reasonable doubt…that there was an alien staring in the window behind me….but as long as I didn’t turn around…it wouldn’t be able to get me.
However, it really got to me when I started to relate it to what I’ve heard and seen about my (former?) friend. I’ve known this guy since I was too young to remember..my mom babysat him and his brother since she didn’t work and the three of us became close overtime. He was always a little odd, quick to anger….made strange illogical decisions about things…but you could at least hold a conversation with him.
However, in the last couple of years…he has been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. It manifested simply enough at first…he wouldn’t feel comfortable unless the blinds were closed….because the though that people could look in at him bothered him. It’s gotten worse over time, now getting to the point where he believes…without a shadow of a doubt, that the small biker bar we have in town is completely populated with alien body snatchers who assassinate people and take their live’s over.
He talks about it in the most “matter-of-fact” way, and that they…along with the FBI are out to get him for some reason. It’s so scary to see someone who used to be relatively “normal”, become so completely detached from reality…through no fault of their own.
He doesn’t think there is anything wrong with him…his parents pay for his trailer…he has no job…..he won’t take his prescribed meds….he’s been to the state hospital twice now…but they can’t hold him if he starts to make a little progress…..he’ll take his meds and tell the right tale just long enough to get out again…but then he just goes back to the same thing…..
Damn…..stupid pastas….
Delicious!
My god, this was a wonderful pasta. One of the best on the site. It so perfectly shows a man’s descent into madness, only to turn around and show it really isn’t madness, his fears are real. I especially liked the ending, which I had to read a few times to truly understand what was happening. It’s quite ingenious. I give it high points for grammar, plot, ending, and execution. Well done.
9.5/10
This pasta is the first that scared me since I read the one about the hunter and the portraits.
The idea of not knowing whether or not you are being deceived scares me.
Probably one of my favorite stories so far. Top five.
What I liked about this pasta was that I really did not expect this ending at all. I expected a cliche ending where there was nothing wrong and the guy was just plain insane, being too paranoid and would end up killing himself or ending up in an asylum.
However, his insanity and paranoia end up being correct and in the end it is all the sane people that end up being controlled.
10/10. Long but not boring at all, really makes you read until the end.
Very good! I’m happy to see a good pasta! Please prepare this dish again!
I much prefer these phsychological ones to rituals and “holy crap hand coming out of the floor” ones!
11/10
i read the whole thing, and at first, i didn\’t got the ending, so i read that very last part over and over and over again and slowly i realized whats actually going on
on every part, i thought what i would do in this moment, and i actually would\’ve fallen for that more than once
only, WOW
really, wow
that (story) was really awesome and the ending unpredictable (for me)
Holy crap, a pasta posted on this site without hate?
Bravo.
Though I may have just jinx’d you. If so, my bad.
I like it but what I don’t quite get the ending.
This seems like it would be perfect for an episode of the Twilight Zone or the Outer Limits. Like, the old classic style ones. Definitely worth the read.
I absolutely loved it. It fooled me so many times. I thought first that it was a post-apocalyptic, then that he was just paranoid, then that it was some sort of creepypasta-fied agoraphobia, then that it really was out to get him, then the rest all over again. I’m not satisfied with his reasoning for gouging out his eyes — it seems too hasty and emotionally driven compared to most of his decisions — but it was nonetheless a pleasantly unexpected twist.
you should write short stories for a living. excellent grammar and diction. woven well and the ending was concise and wonderful. 10/10
Sounds like a extreme example of a Capgras delusion
I had to stop reading because once John said it was Amy, I couldn’t stop thinking of John Dies at the End.
This was amazing, I read this the first day it came out on the forums and am very pleased to see it on the front page. I would say I read it 4 times by now, and it is still amazing. I liked the ending, because it makes sense with the rest of the story, if you re-read it you will see what I mean. The guy has been isolated for a very long time, all the while not receiving any calls, then he tries to call Amy and she does not answer. Right after, he gets a random call and the person only asks for his name, hanging up right after, so that the entity can know more about him to use Amy’s persona to trick him. This is just one example.
The only thing I hate about this, is that it isn’t published. I have an NFL (National Forensics League) tournament and I really wanted to present this as a prose piece =/
wow, just wow. I loved it. Kept me going and going. Honestly? I\’m a little parnoid and kind of afraid to sleep…great plot! I was confused at the ending but I get now that something is controlling the humans. The eye compaired to a camera? MAGNIFICEINT! I only wish there was a little more explanation on this creature. Would make an outstanding and amazing short film, in fact if ya don\’t mind I\’d like to try making that one day. Again. Absolutely freaking brillian
tl;dr
Fantastic pasta. Kept me interested and creeped out the entire time. Great ending to boot.
meh. predictable ending.
One of the best pastas on this site. Fucking fantastic.
I can empathize with the character. I spent a two week spring break at college once. Only one of my friends was with me and she left after 3 days to go on a hockey trip. So there I was with a job from 4pm to 2am everyday and no one to talk to in a big dorm on a big campus with no one there. Not wanting to open the door or go outside. Plus it was in the late winter so the days were still short. I would literally sleep during all the daylight hours. Hallways seemed to go on forever and if it wasn’t for my very social job (at a bar) I would have gone nuts I am sure.
Who knows if I didn’t already go nuts….lol
This was incredibly good. I absolutely love it. <3
Of course, this means I’m going to be terribly paranoid for days now. Maybe I shouldn’t even post this comment…
An extremely good read. I think it makes it into my top five. We need more pastas around here that are as good as this one. Your comparing human eyes to those of a machine was utter genius. I much prefer these psychological thriller/horrors. I really hope to see more of your work around here soon – I’d dine here again anytime.
10 / 10. Keep up the excellent work.
wat
A brilliant pasta which was truly brought together by its ending.
10/10 Amazing read.
I’m sure this would be creepier to the basement-dwellers of this site. Quite long even compared to some pastas here, yet it was well worth it.
Another fantastic story! Great job!
Awesome Pasta. Proves once again that a nice creepy story doesn’t need blood or monsters. But i’d like it more without the last paragraph, it leaves open wh he’s insane or it really happened. Great writing skills, looking forward to reading more of you!
Awesome, but that sucks for John! I hope that never happens to me when I grow up.
That was awesomee!
The best part was definitely the buildup in the middle, and when he first doubts that Amy is real. It was just such an ‘omg’ moment and the entire thing was really well-written… even the ending was pretty good on this one.
Definitely one of the best on the site
Hey, man, great pasta. The whole time reading, I expected, as many others did, that he was just insane, and he was gonna end up being all wrong, but the twist in the end…I loved it. It was a great story, and would love to read more from you.
My email should be somehow attached to this post, so, Gar, if you read this, shoot me an email…I’d be interested in working with you on a colab. If my email isn’t here, my Monolith account is also TKL.
This story is absolute genius. What a great Pasta. 10/10 The end actually hit me pretty hard; the realization of the protagonist being insane really does hurt you. Amazing epiphany Pasta.
Very, very tasty pasta. 10/10.
The word choice could have been improved, but the overall story and plot was amazing. I was so focused on the story that I didn’t notice there was heavy metal playing in the other room.
The ending was fantastic, as well. I admit, it was rather sad, but it was very interesting and not generic bullshit.
that was awesome!!! perfectly eerie without trying too hard to scare you. and very creepy.
wish we could know who wrote it…
This pasta… at first, i thought it was going to be another post-apocolyptic cookie cutter story. Is it post-apocolyptic? Or maybe it’s an experiment, to see how people respond to different enviroments, and this one guy just wouldn’t mold? Either way, it kept making me doubt myself… mind f*ck. I was like, “Oh, yah, he’s insane” and then I’m all, “No, wait, he might be right about this…” but, whatever.
Loved it. 4/5, but only because i’ve read creepier on this site, and this is a lot better than some of the newer stuff, but not as great as the old stuff.
Also, feel free to correct me on my spelling and grammar. I know i’ve got some mistakes.
I loved this creepy pasta, definitely the best or at least one of the best ones that I\’ve read. It was extra creepy in that sometimes that\’s how I think…
Wow great pasta! I didn\’t quite get the ending of the story, but after reading the comments and re-reading the last paragraph a few times I finally got it. It gave me the chills tbh.
10/10 one of the best pasta\’s I\’ve ever read.
Excellent pasta! I would also like to clarify the ending for those who didn’t quite understand, please feel free to correct me on any of my assumptions if I am wrong.
It seems that before these “things” broke down his door, that he gouged out his own eyes and that he is now being held in a padded cell, I have also presumed that these “things” are able to control humans through some “nerve filaments” that seem to need the use of the eyes (which our “hero” has gouged out) but the horrifying thing about this is that the humans are still conscious to the fact they are being controlled yet they have no control over their own bodys.
Anyways 10/10 Delicious pasta!
Wow! I knew the man was not crazy, because of the way he pulled things together, but he sadly drove himself crazy, to prove to himself that he was not crazy! Great story, had me so close to my screen that my nose touched it!
Very, very tasty pasta. However, I find it to be just a little unrealistic in that even at the end he was still unsure about whether it was real or all in his head, because there is no way that those “things” could have known everything he knows…
What I mean is, by the time they are bashing on the door no more than a week has past. And those things only know what others tell them (apparently they are unable to read the minds of their victims?). A week is not enough time for the things to know enough about John that there isn\’t AT LEAST one memory that John has with Amy that the things don\’t know yet… And unless they are VERY good at guessing he will know for sure…
And if they can read minds, then why did they wait so long to come for him? If you need the victim to believe that it is “all in their head” then why wait until the victim is sure that it ISN’T “all in their head”?
And for one final plot hole, if the things were watching John on his webcam inside his room and could see everything he was doing, wouldn’t they know (from the computer screen) that he had a second webcam monitoring the hall?
Anyways, maybe I’m just too smart for my own good… Or maybe that’s why I’m still here to write this? OH GOD!
I loved this story! Starts off slow, and slowely builds up, making you question your theories about whats happenening. The main character is somewhat relatable and the author made it so the character explains his feelings and thoughts quite clearly. You think \\"oh hes just paranoid\\", till he points out various facts that make you question what exactly is happening.
The ending was done quite well compared to many stories like this one (supposively insane protagonists); and kicks cliche endings in the face. Although…once you get to the \\"mental hospital\\" part of any story like this, there really is only 2 choices where the plot could go; The protagonist is either right, or wrong, so there isnt much of a suprise here.
This story was so well written that I think I may suggest it to a couple friends, and maybe other fans might want to do the same. Who knows, maybe the author could have a gathering of people waiting for his/her next work. (too bad we dont know who it is -_-)
10/10
I saw the ending coming from the beginning, but could see how others would be expecting other ends. will eat again.
…wow. Just…wow.
Excellent pasta, creepy in that it <u>makes</u> you think and put yourself in the position of the protagonist. 10/10
Yikes. I think I might be in love you with you, anonymous author. This was – fantastic. It created such an air of suspense; I kept telling myself, “you’re being ridiculous! I can’t believe you won’t open the door. This is silly. This is exactly how I feel after reading pastas… don’t worry. Just go outside.”
Then the ending. Oh, it gave me chills! I think this is my new favorite pasta. 11 out of 10!
Have to agree with Sniper Joe on the names. John and Amy had my mind stuck on John Dies at the End pretty much the whole time. Luckily, it didn’t distract me too much from the story, and I was able to fully enjoy this. Excellent, excellent story. One of my all time favorites.
10/10
Loved it! I, like FrothyHam, had a schitzophrenic friend, and I have always thought that losing one’s mind, through madness, senility, brain injury, tumor or anything, must be the worst suffering there is. So, with this story, I would have been left very depressed if he’d just gone nuts. Bringing sci-fi in at the end enabled me to just enjoy the story. Now it’s not about real-life tragic people; it’s about devious aliens/parasites, which is WAY more fun! Aside from that subjective response, I also think it’s just plain good writing. But earlier posters have said all there is to say about that. 10/10 indeed!
simply awesome
nomnomnomnom… long pasta, kinda predictable tho
Please, never stop writing.
10/10
Writing Style- excellent.
Love it, but wasn’t this up here a while ago?
I definitely remember reading it more than a week ago, and I don’t read many scary story sites beside this one.
Oh never mind. I read it over at the forum earlier this year. Duh.
How did he write without eyes?
Very well written and intelligent and also very moving. It\’s the dark side of regret and OCD.
9/10
I read the entire thing, went back, reread the last paragraph, went \"wat\", then shat brix. You deserve a medal, sir. 10/10, perfect pasta.
Absolutely friggin’ flawless. I’m not sure weather I prefer it with or without the final paragraph; it’s lovely either way. The sense of tension that it breeds is incredible. Most horror stories make you question weather the paranormal elements are real, for a time, but this drags it out to an agonizing and wonderful degree. This is, in my undereducated opinion, professional quality horror you’re putting out here.
“The Last Neckbeard.” lol
Seriously though, good story. 8.5/10
The sad thing is that he will never know if he was truly right or not because he can’t see, he can only believe…
Cannot be unseen.
I loved this story very well written. Except, your thoughts are electrical impulses as well as your movements. So, basically, why is it that they can only get you when you see them? Is it a memetic agent? I\’m confused. They would, probably, be able to infect your brain through the empty holes in your face. Anyway. Thanks for the AMAZING story.
Just because you\’re paranoid doesn\’t mean they\’re not after you.
That…was superb. 0.0
That was…SUPERB!!!! Write MORE!!!
Great story! Please write more!
That was the most delicious pasta I’ve had in ages. Oh man.
That. Was. Amazing. Had me guessing how it would end the whole way through. First I thought it was post-apocalypse, then craziness, but oh my, that was brilliant. Scared the crap out of me too.
10/10
Epic pasta! Easily one of the best ones on here.
I like the way his slow descent into paranoia and insanity was the only thing that saved him in the slightest. It was very well written and had me guessing the whole way through, wondering if he’s insane or not. Loved the ending, it tied it up very nicely.
On a side note, I’m off to break my computer’s built in webcam. It worries me more as I still don’t know how to use it, so I have no idea when it’s turned on and that makes me feel slightly paranoid too.
Even so, the only thing threataning me at the moment is a cold -__-”
10/10
Epic pasta! Easily one of the best ones on here.
I like the way his slow descent into paranoia and insanity was the only thing that saved him in the slightest. It was very well written and had me guessing the whole way through, wondering if he’s insane or not. Loved the ending, it tied it up very nicely.
On a side note, I’m off to break my computer’s built in webcam. It worries me more as I still don’t know how to use it, so I have no idea when it’s turned on and that makes me feel slightly paranoid too.
Even so, the only thing threatening me at the moment is a cold -__-”
Awesome. Truly. Well, written, I agree. This is an example of talent, as opposed to some of the pointless concoctions of words that appear on this site, passing themselves off as stories.
Brilliant, just brilliant. All over this long time I could once more spot something which would actually impress me.
Oh, and for the comment of one of the latest Anons: “So, basically, why is it that they can only get you when you see them? Is it a memetic agent? I\’m confused.”
Did you spot the line saying “but the nerve filaments wrapped around his head and into his eyes made him do otherwise.” ? From that I’d gather the being(s) needed actual physical contact to- quite literally- root themselves into one’s brain and, through that, to gain control of one’s body.
Why it can’t be done now, when the man is ‘in their hands’? That’d be a question a bit harder to answer, but perhaps the being(s) need(s) a specific point, eyes, to access- and the narrator’s eyes have been ruined, as can be read out.
No Lucifer, you only had an idea of what the ending could be because there was no way for you to know. Don’t try taking credit from Gar because you think you’re clever. Anyways, GREAT PASTA 10/10
WRITE MORE STORIES PLEASE THIS PASTA IS DELICIOUS
@alice, rather than breaking it you could put a piece of tape (perhaps with a little paper on the part that would actually be over the webcam so you don\’t get glue on it) over it, that way even if it was on the other person wouldn\’t see anything without you wanting them to.
This story was fantastic! And just like everyone said…..WRITE MORE DUMBASS!!!!!
I’m writing a screenplay losely based off this pasta. You will see it in holywood soon.
@anon saying I didn’t see it coming
I’m not trying to take anything from anyone. I did see it, but only because my mind anticipates the least likely end as the one that will happen. I am wrong about it much more often than I am right for this reason, but this is the ending I saw coming
I was absolutely engulfed in this story and my whole body just stopped when I got to the ending! It was an AMAZING pasta!
I love how the only negative complaints have the implication of, “It’s awesome but I bet I’ll look cool by acting like I knew what was going to happen! I R TEH JENIUZ! :B”
Effing perfect.
My god, this story is perfect. I got sucked into this mans world, it was a total mindfuck. Well, more like mindrape. There were so many twists, and the fact that he fought his thoughts with logic just added to the theme of his insanity. The story was so vivid with imagery, it’s amazing someone could write it. 200/10
MMMMMMMMMMMMM such a delicious pasta! Good job!
This pasta made me shit. EVERYWHERE. By far the best story i\’ve ever read, it really gets you thinking, it starts to make you think holy shit, what if im crazy too? xD
Not a very rememberable ending, and it kinda confused me at first.
But maybe i\\\’m just stupid. xD
I still luuuurved it though. 10/10
very enjoyable pasta, with or without the ending. i really do appreciate it having an ending, though – saves all the debates about “was he crazy?” “no, there was something out there!” etc, etc.
i’ll probably be petrified tonight as i try to sleep, but for now they can stare at my ugly mug. i think (in response to an earlier reply) that whatever “they” are, they can’t actually read what’s on your computer, just watch you through it.
gouging his eyes out may have damaged the optic nerves too much for the creature to get him. that doesn’t explain why they’re still holding him, though…maybe to convince him to accept “treatment”?
one plot hole that bothered me…i know it’s a key point that he’s all alone, but where the hell was everyone else? having a huge “we’re all taken over” party? why were they incapable of getting in the front door? wouldn’t his landlady have her keys (and subsequently, the creature(s) taking over her)?
This pasta was friggen\’ genius. I loved the buildup and it was very clever. My only suggestions are the following:
It would be a little more creepy if the whole pasta was more eye-themed. The e-mail and eye-webcam comparison were good, but I feel like the bulk of the pasta could\’ve had some more eye theme to it, being that the climax of the story revolves around them.
The last entry and the doctor part seem a little sloppy. I can see you\’re trying to make it seem like the \"sane\" people are being deceived by their eyes, but I think it could\’ve been executed better.
Overall, great pasta. Definitely one of my favorites, it\’s new and original, with a really awesome concept and clever details. 9/10
How do I know this is real?! YOU CAN’T FOOL ME, STORY! I KNOW YOU’RE NOT BASED ON REAL LIFE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Really really good! I found myself completely unsure of whether he was really just insane or whether the coincidences were actually part of a sinister plan, just like the character was. I was jumping back and forth and you kept me guessing til the end. 10/10
Chaos;Head grade mindfuck
BUT WHO WAS PHONE?!
fucking incredible.
TL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DRTL;DR
EVERYONE ELSE IS ROBOTS
Awesome. But go outside sometime.
This is delicious pasta, I want seconds. =O
Mmmm good Pasta. Great story and good ending but the story kinda wanted me to believe that it was real rather than him actually being insane. Wanted to believe that there was an entity and somehow he would have to break out and save Amy from the entity too. But even though it went in the other direction (which was very good) It ended the story very well. Enjoyed the pasta. 10/10
Pretty good. Though the sudden leap to completely crazy at the end disappoints me. Most people in mental institutions aren’t really tied up in padded rooms, and this guy doesn’t seem suicidal, or at least the desire to commit suicide doesn’t appear anywhere. Also the end is a bit vague I think. Is he not really crazy and all his suspicions are true? Either I need more sleep or the wording is a bit confusing.
Pretty good. Though the sudden leap to completely crazy at the end disappoints me. Most people in mental institutions aren\’t really tied up in padded rooms, and this guy doesn\’t seem suicidal, or at least the desire to commit suicide doesn\’t appear anywhere. Also the end is a bit vague I think. Is he not really crazy and all his suspicions are true? Either I need more sleep or the wording is a bit confusing.
That was some very delicious pasta :].WRITE SOME MOAR pl0x.
I’m a newcommer to creepy pasta but out of the stories I have read this is one that I can easily say is the best…. I feel like this story has serious potential to be a great book
I\’m a newcommer to creepy pasta but out of the stories I have read this is one that I can easily say is the best…. I feel like this story has serious potential to be a great book
the best pasta i have a ever read, i love how it made you feel close to john and start to feel what he feels.
I also like how it was more emotional and sad than it scared the shit out of me. 5/5 fucking amazing bro
Nice job. One of the better creepypastas I’ve read. With a little work this could make a publishable short story.
I do like it! Sent a chill down my spine. But, I spent most of it thinking it was a poor attempt to make me think there would be a grand ending when there wouldn’t be. But that just tied it together so well! My favourite pasta so far
x
Very, very good story! I’m new to this website and this is by far the best story i’ve read on here!
This was really good
This is a seriously great story. Like a lot of people have said, this would make a great full-length story. This is just really amazing writing, in your personal style, and in grammar. I actually got a bit paranoid, I looked out the windows and stuff until I saw some kids across the street. Perfect example of a five star story though. Keep up the good writing!
Once I started reading I really had no choice. Delicious Pasta.
Once I started reading I really had no choice. Delicious Pasta. Frightening how deeply connections can be formed.
Once I started reading I really had no choice. Delicious Pasta. Frightening how deeply connections can be formed…
Then everybody got on the floor
Did the dinosuar
and lived happily ever waffle.
Then everybody got on the floor
and did the dinosuar
and live happily ever waffles.
Then the doctor opened the door
got on the floor
and did the dinosuar
and replaced the dudes eyes with waffles
and they lived happily ever waffle.
Very, very well done and perfect as is.
Man I loved this pasta, read this about a few months ago and just reread it now. Definitely one of my favorite stories on this whole website. Nice build-up and progression, the eye theme could’ve been emphasized a bit more but still great. The ending made the whole thing come together. If the guy turned out to be just crazy the pasta would’ve been only decent in my opinion, but he was right all along, and that makes him a hero.
OH. MY. GOD.
That was awesome.
Half way through, I already loved it, but at the end, when he revealed it was REAL, and he WASN’T just crazy, made it even more epic. While it would have been scarier to leave it at a “what if?”, that’s been done to death and this is just… fan-fucking-tastic.
999999999999999999999999999999999/10
OH. MY. GOD.
That was awesome.
Half way through, I already loved it, but at the end, when he revealed it was REAL, and he WASN\’T just crazy, made it even more epic. While it would have been scarier to leave it at a \"what if?\", that\’s been done to death and this is just… fan-fucking-tastic.
999999999999999999999999999999999/10
I didn’t enjoy this one as much as I could have. Yes, the ending was clever I don’t deny that, but somehow the way the main character spots all these “odd” things seems too far off. Everytime he found yet another “odd” thing I actually sighed.
Someone already said that the ending was a bit sloppy and I agree, it also felt a bit rushed. Perhaps it was just the amount of revelations in the end that made it seem rushed, I’m not sure.
In short, nice concept and story but the main character seemed too perfect.
I didn’t enjoy this one as much as I could have. Yes, the ending was clever I don’t deny that, but somehow the way the main character spots all these “odd” things seems too far off. Everytime he found yet another “odd” thing I actually sighed.
Someone already said that the ending was a bit sloppy and I agree, it also felt a bit rushed. Perhaps it was just the amount of revelations in the end that made it seem rushed, I’m not sure.
In short, nice concept and story but the main character seemed too perfect.
10/10! Amazing!
This is pure genius. I can’t even explain how amazing this is. Epic Delicious Pasta.
I don’t particularly mind long pastas, but all the same, I have to say that (unfortunately) I wasn’t really impressed.
Maybe it’s just a matter of personal preference or difference in writing style, but I felt like the story was much to loose/a little all over the place, and for me that didn’t add anything positive (as I imagine it might have for some), ambiance-wise, to the story.
The scattered quality pulled me out of it, and caused me to have to fight to keep interest. I didn’t feel like the ending made up for it, as I was hoping/anticipating it would.
Although all in all, not a bad read necessarily. I just wasn’t as enamored as some of the other readers.
I don\’t particularly mind long pastas, but all the same, I have to say that (unfortunately) I wasn\’t really impressed.
Maybe it\’s just a matter of personal preference or difference in writing style, but I felt like the story was much to loose/a little all over the place, and for me that didn\’t add anything positive (as I imagine it might have for some), ambiance-wise, to the story.
The scattered quality pulled me out of it, and caused me to have to fight to keep interest. I didn\’t feel like the ending made up for it, as I was hoping/anticipating it would.
Although all in all, not a bad read necessarily. I just wasn\’t as enamored as some of the other readers.
great story i was really into it but my mom came in my room and ruin it but shorty after i got into it again
i cant stop reading these great stories and at the same time im getting frighten everytime i read one >o<
very good, not often in popular media do we hear the tales of madness from the madman himself, this is a great attempt
That pasta was scrumptious! Loved the ending! I expected it to end something like that and I can say that I am quite pleased! The length almost made it not worth it, but I was definitely not disappointed.
9.5 out of 10
That was awesome.
Simply put: I love it. Bravo!
Whoa…..I got told to read this….good suggestion.
whut
Didn’t anyone watch those Outer Limits TV series? Episode called “Dead Man’s Switch” had exactly the same kind of ending. And the whole plot was very similar to this one too…. location was more scifi than this one.
Didn\’t anyone watch those Outer Limits TV series? Episode called \"Dead Man\’s Switch\" had exactly the same kind of ending. And the whole plot was very similar to this one too…. location was more scifi than this one.
I love this story, I have had experience with these sort of panic attacks (though none lasted nearly this long) and I think the thoughts and feelings were conveyed perfectly, however I feel that the last part, while wrapping it up as a supernatural story was unneeded and kind of ruined the “Is it real or isn’t it?” question that the rest of story seemed to ask.
I love this story, I have had experience with these sort of panic attacks (though none lasted nearly this long) and I think the thoughts and feelings were conveyed perfectly, however I feel that the last part, while wrapping it up as a supernatural story was unneeded and kind of ruined the ‘Is it real or isn’t it?’ question that the rest of story seemed to ask.
I have GOT to say, out of every pasta that I have read so far, this one is probably my very favorite. It’s terribly long, but entirely worth it. I adore how the story was composed. I felt myself switching back from thoughts that he was only paranoid, to thoughts that something or someone was really watching him. This scared the hell out of me, and I’m pretty sure I was constantly checking over my shoulder as I read it.
I love these sort of stories.
Good fucking job, thank you so much for the brilliant read.
10/10 Awesome Pasta is awesome.
@ Anon. Uuh, unless you hadn’t read it correctly, you would know he clawed his own eyes out of the sockets, because he came to the conclusion that they were watching him from his very own eyes. Come on, it wasn’t vague at all. Read it again, if it was so confusing. ;/
@ Anon. Uuh, unless you hadn\’t read it correctly, you would know he clawed his own eyes out of the sockets, because he came to the conclusion that they were watching him from his very own eyes. Come on, it wasn\’t vague at all. Read it again, if it was so confusing. ;/
Loved the writing style and the amazing insight into his personality. I will definately recomend this. Also, I shat bracks.
it’s worth reading. i love it:)
this really hit home for me. My name is Amy and my besy friend has an anxity disorder. He acctually sends me random messages to make sure the world is the way it is supposed to be. I am sometimes his only anchor to stability in this world.
He can never read this storey. I know it would be a huge trigger for him
wow… that. is. incredible!
I’m probably going to be more paranoid just from reading about him being paranoid… (to be honest I already get scared of walking past a open doorway where the room inside is dark…)
wow… that. is. incredible!
I\’m probably going to be more paranoid just from reading about him being paranoid… (to be honest I already get scared of walking past a open doorway where the room inside is dark…)
Makes me think of Capgras Syndrome
Makes me think of Capgras Syndrome!
This scares the fuck out of me…. But honestly, one of the best stories I’ve ever read.
Wait..so everybody I see..everybody I know..couldn’t be real?
Oh fuck.
(I know it’s a story >_>)
mmmmm best pasta i had so far ^^
This is the best story on here.
*stamp*
it seems like a lot of people don’t really understand the part with the doctor… how the doctor still had his conscious thoughts and wants, but he couldn’t pursue them because the ‘deception’ had gotten and taken control of him, and that john was actually correct… a lot of people are saying they feel bad for john and hope it doesn’t happen to them and blah blah when john actually got the better end of the deal :/
so obviously that needed to be a little clearer, but otherwise 10/10
Beautifully horrifying, loved the whole thing, sad thing is i realized I am like the protagonist, I would probably do the same things he did, this was an awesome pasta, hope for more.