I’ve always had a terrible fear of being submerged completely in water. Not that I can’t swim or anything. My dad made me learn; he said I almost drowned when I was really young.
I was afraid of it because, for as long as I can remember, whenever I am under water and look up at the surface I see a woman reaching down to me with a warm smile, with glowing golden hair and dark blue eyes. Even if its just in a bathtub. It always happened, it was just normal for me, but i never got used to it.
It was unnerving, but also soothing at the same time. She always made me feel like it was okay. I still avoided it, though, because I was just a kid and it was really freaky.
I never told my dad about it as a kid, but I did ask him about my mom. He never wanted to talk about her. Sometimes he even got mad at me for trying too hard to bring it up.
It was only recently that I described this apparition to him. He nearly drove into a telephone pole; obviously he knew something. I asked him, again, about my mom. He still would say much, except that she died when I was very young, and that she loved me very much. He also admitted that her hair and eyes were those colors, just like mine.
So I did some research on my own, looking up her name for myself on my birth certificate and trying to find any references I could, any news clips about a boy nearly drowning, any thing. I mostly wanted a picture, something I could match to my guardian angel.
Today, buried in our town library, I found it.
WINCHESTER: Marie Withie, 28, drowned to death yesterday evening after climbing a razerwire fence and fleeing to a nearby resevoir. A funeral is scheduled by her family for the 25th. Marie was institutionalized just six months ago, after being found “not guilty” of attempted murder on grounds of insanity. Her husband Daniel Withie had acted quickly enough to rescue their infant child when she was found trying to drown him in a bathtub.
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Very good pasta. However, it doesn’t seem very original. The beginning reminds me a bit of “Queen of the Black Puddle” (“Courage the Cowardly Dog” episode), and the mother drowning her child very much reminds of “The Ring II”. It’s still good though.
Brrrrrrr. That was creepy. Short and sweet, but with a *really* unexpected twist, and realistic enough to be truly frightening. Nice work!
Dammmnnn
Wow XD a very creepypasta indeed.
That was awesome. One of the best pastas
I saw it coming. But, reading it was still creepy as hell. Well done.
I very much liked this. I’m get my friend into CreepPasta and stories like this are better for her. She is really inacent
This was such a cool story. I liked your creative punctuation.
The only problem i could find is here:He still would say much, except that
to me, in context, this sounded like the WOULD should be a a WOULDN’T
Well thats awesome.
Wow. That was fantastic. Thought it was going to be the dad killed the mum so the end was great. Loved it xx
Cx that was awesome
‘Official “Creepypasta Storytime” book’, Why is this not a thing? Is it not viable?
All the right elements…. i love it!!
Too predictable.
At first glance this looked like a crappypasta, as I thought I had pieced everything together after reading just 1/3 of it, and then I got to the ending…It’s one of those creepypastas that get creepier and creepier the more you think about it.
So your guardian angel turns out to be your insane dead mom who tried to drown you in a bath-tub. Pretty nice angel, you’ve got there.
The ending was unexpected for me (probably unexpected for everyone) because I was expecting the woman to be a mermaid and the son is half-mermaid. I also thought she would save him from drowning rather than let the kid dorown but which-ever works o.O
ok I figured that in the second paragraph
Am I the only one who thinks that they should write a book on all the best (like 8.5/10 and up) Creepypasta stories?
No, you aren’t. The world is full of fools.
Saw the ending coming. I thought it was strange that the “guardian” was reaching for him – they usually just closely shadow the person they’re protecting, and then I figured maybe she was trying to hold him underwater.
I really really like this just because you can interpret the mother as a specter or just as a trauma the narrator relives when he goes into water
WHO WAS BATHTUB!!?
Wow
TheThingIsCommingForYouNow
July 15, 2013
THIS IS DEFINITLY CREEPY PASTA!
Um, yes, I can agree with that. O~O but don’t use the caps so hard man, it’s not the best I’ve read. Just read Brank’s Candy Factory. ;)
Yo Mama So Fat…
November 3, 2012
XD Nice name dude.
Anyways, that was a nice little CreepyPasta even though it didn’t creep me out very much. It seemed more like a creepy self discovery thing. I doubt anyone would be scared unless they experienced something similar… >_<
I rate this 5/10!
Sincerely,
Grim Gamer
P.S. Blood is red, corpses are blue. I like green and so should you…
It needs more proofreading and editing to make it more immersive and less predictable, but the idea is probably worthy of a good scary story anthology. Hope it wasn’t simply lifted from one.
Not to sound arrogant but how the hell did this get high ratings?
I guessed the ending within the 2nd paragraph. This is really cliche.
That was pretty predictable
Okay…first pasta to actually give me goosebumps at the ending punch line…wow. Awesomely delicious.
This story creeped me out. But I still love it! :D
http://cdn.overclock.net/8/87/357x296px-LL-877fd27f_the_rock_clap_clap_gif.gif
I think one of the best parts of this pasta is that kinda gives you hope (she drowned, therefore trying to help him) then hits you with “oh hey, baby murderer”
I recently did a reading of this pasta:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcQgTRVl2_4
I actually really enjoyed this one and it definitely brings a chill to my spine every time.
That kind of rhymed. Right? Right.
This makes me remember something simillar that happened to me :o
When I read it from the start it made it too obvious, too many connections between him not knowing his mother, lady that seems to care for him when he submerges, him almost drowning and his father not wanting, absolutely refuses, to talk about his the kid’s mother. Really wasn’t a surprise to me that the lady was his mother. This twist reminds of one I read on this website called ‘Lightning’. Narrator talks about flashes of lightning outside, father speaks of pedophile taking pictures, kid tells father lightning is coming from his closet now, BOOM, mind blown. I guess i should be more mad with the lightning story for this reused twist since this story had already used it, but this author made the twist very obvious.
Nomming on creepypastas left an expected taste for twist in my mouth when the visage was described, so I expected something potentially sinister behind the seemingly innocent occurrence. I’m glad to see that you delivered, and in a delightfully twisted manner at that. Well done!
Hey, that was genuinely creepy! Well done.
I knew what was going to happen as soon as he said he always saw that woman.
I don’t know if someone has posted this yet, but this reminds me of Münchausen syndrome by Proxy, the mental illness that causes parents to harm their children or animals for attention. It’s a serious problem, and yes, this stuff really does happen. Triple the creepy.
…This made me so confused. xD
HOLY CRAP. That must be horrible. I feel so bad for you. Hope you don’t experience that again.
Holy shit. I’ll never look at huge bodies of water the same again. Awesome creepypasta.
Dad’s a badass.
this sounds a lot like a story from supernatrual… hm? anyone?
BEN??? Is that you?
Delicious pasta is delicious!
DUN DUN DUN!!!
. . . .
this wasen’t that good.
Wow. I usually like a longer creepypasta but that was perfect, great delivery.
10/10.
You mustve been thrilled..
Any chance this is Winchester MA?
That twist was absolutely amazing no wonder he doesn’t like water ;O
Awesome story I was scared is this real?
a decent pasta, but a little under written
wow an intersesting change of events…. just goes to show somethings are better left alone.
I didn’t find this that good, it was very predictable in my opinion, i don’t get why are people surprised about the ending, the whole thing was very cliche
It took me about 5 seconds to realize the ending. At first I was like "meh, this isn’t creepy at all." and then my eyeballs nearly came off. F*ck, this is scared me to go to the bed!
Idk I liked it but it was extremely predictable in my opinion.
I want that little bo- i mean!
Radical. not what i expected :)
FASCINATING o_O
Saw it coming, but it was still a good pasta because it’s believable.
I agree with Hi: “I kinda had it clued down because I watched the 10th Kingdom”
I only watched the movie for Scott Cohen as Wolf ♥
Am I the only one who didn’t think this one was that great?
It wasn’t creepy, it was just boring and predictable.
Mmm. Very yummy pasta. Will eat again.
I give it a 10/10. I loved the twist ending.
Oooh, NICE.
Not that I shat brix or anything, but this was a very well-done, nicely-seasoned pasta. Definitely enjoyed it.
i shat a brick factory
Loved how the ending was delivered.
I liked the ending
loved it, definitely creepy – creepy pasta isn’t about ghosts and zombies, monsters etc, its about the creep factor, when something happens and you dont know why, and then suddenly you get the shock of your life and everything makes sense, its hard to describe, but this pasta was definitely tasty
@Marie Withie
You just made my LIFE
Dude, man…. awesome. Practically died at the last sentence.
But…
WHO WAS WINCHESTER?
I called the end. ‘Cept the insane part.
BUT WHO WAS DROWNED?
OH SHI-
Good work. Really good twist, serves him right for assuming that a spirit is always going to be good.
Saw it coming from a mile away. Could be worse, though.
Good Lord, got me frozen for a moment. Good one.
That was pretty awesome. Well done.
Freaky, well done……….. Was good…………………………………. BUT WHO WAS TELEPHONE POLE!!?!
this one’s REALLY good. i suspected something when the writer connected not talking about the apparition to asking about his mother, but i was still surprised at the end.
Saw it coming, but still enjoyed reading it. 5/5 :D
This is the only creepypasta that has ever caused me to make a noise of any sort after reading it other than lulz. Good good work.
Crazy bitch be tryin to drown children in me, I wasn’t down with that, I told her to go jump in a lake.
It was starting to sound very corny, like his mother had died trying to save him, and then that little last line did the trick. Not bad at all.
I really liked this one, mainly because the narrator’s memory could be recalling itself or something…
Oh my gosh, this one gave me chills. Fantastic.
This is my favorite pasta.
58- The kid thought that the lady he was seeing was a guardian angel or his mother watching over him, and it turns out that she tried to drown him when he was an infant.
Woah, I liked it. :D
It was mysterious about the mom so it made her look harmless. n.n
…And then BAM. Gave me a nice chill, well done. <3
I kinda had it clued down because I watched the 10th Kingdom
And the crazy mother in that did the exact same thing to her kid before running off to another land
while the dad resfused to talk about the mother to his daughter
BUT SHE FOUND OUT IN THE END SURPRISE?
I dont understand the ending, can someone explain it for me?
good job the twist ending was one of my favorites
It was set up very well, and for some reason, the last line struck me like a tire iron.
nice ending
fucking not scary.
: 49 so she killed herself or her husband killed her? :S
@ Marie Withie: YOU BITCH HE’S JUST A BABY
I have TOTALLY seen this in a movie before. At least, from what I can recall, a very similar situation happened. It was a fantasy movie, I think, something about “traveling to other lands”, princesses and goblins and stuff. Only thing is, the mother went to the fantasy land and became the evil queen. I think it also had the sub-plot of the prince being turned into a dog. Anyone know which movie I’m talking about?
my sister nearly drowned when she was 7.
she said it was agony…
this pasta was ok
nothing to shout about.
and @ 49, yeah i did notice.
that is all
Anyone else notice that is says she drowned TO DEATH? Those partial drownings really gotta suck.
you can drown with in a 48 hour period of being in a pool even if your out of the water so he lucky because his dad saved him but hes also lucky that he didn’t die two days later
Walter Melon- Dude, yes! Write a creepy pasta about how they all vanished…hmm, government conspiracy?
Sorry, I just read the Button Day. Still doesn’t make sense.
And this does sound possible, and is! Which does do a bit for it.
That was AWESOME!!!!! I loved that twist ending!
shucks thats quite the tale.
ive tried so many times to go to local librarys and do that shit where you look through old newspapers and shit on that slidy thing and i swear to god it doesnt exist anymore. need to write a pasta on that.
his mom sounds hawt
oooooooo so so good!!
The best part is that it’s not completely out of the realm of possibility, which does a lot for it.
i see soap bars too………
Excellent story! Kudos!
THEN WHO WAS HOMICIDAL MOTHER?
Any student taking psych would connect this to the case of Andrea Yates, however unlike in the story it was 5 children, and they did not survive.
WHAT A TWIST
@ The Tainted Truth and MooMoon
oh my god! and i thought i was the only one O.O
those shower curtians can make a person go insane
@ The Tainted Truth-omg! thats awfull :c but your not alone ….i see it too
Oh owow I wasnt expeecting that ending! Nice one..
Bri/x/ where shat.
Subtle and not dumb.
Good job. I liked it.
Brix. I shat them.
thats so sad she tried to kill him :(
I like this one it was really good and I didn’t expect the ending it was tasteful. One of my favorites. I like it.
they have my last name. :(
I once had a fear of water…Then my mom just dropped me in a pool but she brought me back up so now when ever I shower I see a shower curtain D :
Wow this is a great read i didn’t excepect the end this is a good one :3 Teehee supernatrule one of the greatest shows ever.
I would’ve taken my infantile fist and punched her throat in.
Heyyy Russel Crowe, long time no see
suigintou, most of our relationships with loved ones tend to be pretty darn contradictory
“It was unnerving, but also soothing at the same time. She always made me feel like it was okay. I still avoided it, though, because I was just a kid and it was really freaky.”
Contradictory?
@ ScoolyardHero
Like hell I am.
I really didn’t expect that.
I lol’d at #7.
Unexpected ending, mixed feelings, great pasta.
I saw it coming, but it was still a good pasta.
The psycho mother returns!
Love it with a passion. Really quite good, nice delivery, somewhat beleivable, too.
*sadness*
scary cuz it could be real
lol at #7
I liked this one.
. . .
That is all, resume your daily activities.
Have to be honest, kind of saw the end coming. It waws still one of the better pastas posted as of late.
man, i think that kids gonna have problems, man
I indeed expected along the lines of “She was drowned”, and was a guardian angel, but not trying to fucking kill him.
wow,I liked the twist in the ending like a M. night shamalan movie. I don’t know how to spell his last name. Yes it was very well exicuted.
Not generally creepy. Just interesting.
You know, this may be one of the best delivered creepypastas I’ve read.
Importantly, it’s believeable. We’ve all heard stories like this, but the part that really makes it work is the subtle twist at the very end. It lets all the creepiness happen in your mind, which is capable of more terrifying imagery than any amount of writing could ever produce.
I suspected that SHE had drowned, but not tried to drown him! How twisted!
I did it for the lulz.
This is totally reminiscent of pilot episode of Supernatural. Where the main characters have the last name Winchester.
How this is anything like a mother being pinned to the ceiling and burned to death while trying to save her infant son from ingesting demon blood? I’m not seeing the correlation here….
Good read…I really didn’t expect the ending. And it’s written in a good style!
O_O and I thought there’d be a happy ending.
I think I’ve heard of this actually happening before. That adds doublepluscreepy to it.
Yeah, I think this did happen. Or at least I’ve heard of some chick trying to drown her kid but the dad saved the kid.
Yes, Skwirral, that does add doublepluscreepy to this pasta.
Much better than calling it doubleplusungood:)
Double plus creepy? Im sorry that word is not supported in newspeak
xD Lawl it’s a made-up word for fun, it doesn’t have to be in the dictionary or subthing. Dictionaries are BORING!
I suspect that our friend Unknowndumdum did not recognize your comment as a 1984 reference. I appreciated it, at least.
Creepypasta commenters are the nicest commenters ever. I’m new to the site but impressed by the low amount of trolling and the frequency of commenters KINDLY explaining misunderstood comments.
oooh.. i like this one!
Wow scariest story
:O
Most amazing pasta ever.
Agreed! :O tht was messd up
i cant even respond to this
Technically you just did… XD
But yeah, I understand what you mean pastalover; this was definitely… “different” in the simplest of terms.
It’s amazing how stories like this haven’t been published yet in some kind of book.
You know what would be a good idea, to sell the official “Creepypasta Storytime” book, now that would be a best seller nonetheless.
I bet, if the owner of this site had enough money and tried to sell the “Book of Creepypasta” with all the most loved stories on here; I’m sure at least 500+ copies would be sold in a matter of days.
-10/10
You’re a troll.
THIS IS DEFINITLY CREEPY PASTA!
It was very short, but had a pretty good twist at the end.