Earlier this week, on Sunday night, I had a dream in which I knew I was asleep. I was stood outside of my house in torrential rain at night and thought I needed to get inside in order to wake up. I approached the front door and placed my knuckles onto the door-window ready to knock. I knew that my next action would bring me one step closer to consciousness. The moment I knocked on the door, the thudding sound of the knock was so loud, so frightening and so real that it woke me from my sleep.
BANG BANG BANG
I jumped up immediately and listened out for a further knock at the door. I was roasting hot, sweating profusely and my heart was beating so hard, I don’t think I would have been able to tell the difference between a knock at the door and my thudding heart beat. After I came to my senses and realised that the possibility of the door knocking at the exact moment of dreaming it is incredibly low, I fell back to sleep.
Monday, the very following night, I had the same dream. Right back outside the front of the house in the pouring rain again, intensely staring at the house. I slowly walked to the front door, this time it was open. I walked in and went straight into the kitchen. I opened the cutlery drawer and pulled out the largest meat knife I have. I looked into my reflection through the blade of the knife.
If you stare directly into the reflection of your eyes for long enough, eventually it will hit you that someone is looking at you. You know it’s your reflection, but for just a second, you forget and become self conscious, as if it’s somebody else behind your reflection’s eyes. It didn’t take a second of looking at my reflection through the blade to realise that somebody else was looking back. The moment I realised it was somebody else wearing my grin in the reflection, I slammed the cutlery drawer shut.
BANG
Again, I shot up out of bed. The sound of the metal clanging in the drawer as it abruptly closed was so defined and so crystal clear, it couldn’t have been a dream. Really spooked this time, I went downstairs into the kitchen. I was half asleep and had to check. I opened the cutlery drawer. I was relieved to find the knife still in the drawer. I closed it and went back to bed. It took a little longer this time, but I fell asleep.
Tuesday night, my dream started with that grin in the reflection. From the look in his eyes, I could tell that the man in the reflection knew he was looking back at someone confused and scared. I found myself looking into the reflection of the knife, already in my hand, while stood outside of my house in the rain. The front door was open again. I walked into the house, directly up the stairs and into my bedroom. I looked at the bed and saw someone sleeping in it. It was me.
I knew what I was going to do, but also knew that I couldn’t stop myself. Instead, I kept think over and over again “Wake up”. My emotions were both in two extremes at once. I was terrified, but at the same time I was thrilled and excited to kill. “WAKE UP!”
I shot right out of bed and stood up. I was absolutely drenched in sweat, roasting hot, but relieved to find nobody stood in front of me with a knife. It took a few seconds to realise that I was gripping something tight in my hand. I knew what it was even before I looked down at it and saw my reflection in it. It was the meat knife, and this time the reflection in it looked terrified.
I don’t sleep anymore.
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I don’t sleep anymore
I don’t sleep anymore
I don’t sleep anymore like I used to doooo
lol.
Really like the premise of this story. Well done.
yay!
I’ve only read to the second paragraph, but I suspect that the protagonist is controlling some some being through their dreams.
I actually loved this pasta, found the idea creepy and enjoyed reading very much, simple yet effective.
The plot is stale, the story itself is vague and the ending is extremely dissatisfying. By far, one of the worst pastas that I have ever read.
Well, either way, I’ll favourite, just because it’s a cute pasta. X)
The pasta needs more sauce? XD I do agree with these guys, the ending was a bit bland, but maybe if you have a second part about what happened after, that would freak people out….. :)
creepy as fuck
Not the best, but certainly not the worst…
I totally missed all the grammar mistakes, derp. I liked it, even if it was a little confusing.
Should prolly work on your repetitive language. We get that he wakes up feeling the same way every time, but instead of saying the same way every time, use a thesaurus! They are helpful dinosaurs.(lol /shotted)
Also, why was it raining..? That part seems to have no bearing to the story…
I loved the idea, I think it was to predictable though. By the time I got to the end I was pretty bored. 7/10
All of you saying that it makes no sense, some creepypasta’s just don’t. It wierded me out considerably, and I’m hard to scare since I got sick of it and started killing my nightmares as they happened. And yes, it is possible for one to control their dreams. The point of this is for it to make no sense. That’s why it’s scary. Even I can see that. And I’m really slow to understand. It seems as if no one these days believes in magic and miracles anymore. Everything is mundane logic and science. For something like this that breaks all the barriers it has my 10/10!
Good pasta! Showed the concept of dual personalities (or split personas, if you will) i didnt mind the few grammar errors, but it bugged me how obvious the ending would be. Id give it a 7/10
Hey, I loved this story. I will admit, it could have been expanded and made into a longer and probably very eventful story, but the overall idea was great.
meh, it was alright, could’ve been a little longer. 5/10
Predictable ending.
Okay, here goes. Basically, I thought nothing much happened. The author stated some beautiful facts and so on, but all in all, it was kinda slow.
But then, the sudden ending. Awesome! Really, I enjoyed this.
Fuck you guys, I liked it.
Oooooh that pasta was pretty good! 7/10
What.
Its was a good story the ending was a bit fast for me…
I can’t imagine why the line where he “was stood” outside the house doesn’t bother more people. The idea was actually interesting, but the reflection thing was stupid. I mean, he’s not just looking at his reflection, he’s looking at the reflection of himself from the knife reflected in his eyes. And the part about “If you stare directly into the reflection of your eyes for long enough, eventually it will hit you that someone is looking at youyou” part. If you’re implying it’s something “we” do, you should really have it something that a sane human being would ever do, or even consider.
Made me scared to dream at my sleep anymore. Cause a months have already passed since I started dreaming again…
It could have been good, but the writing was just terrible. Poor grammar and poor descriptions, it felt like a kid wrote it.
OM NOM NOM ♥
Great story! 10/10
Loada balls :’)
The concept was cool because of inception and all but other then that the ending was highly predictable and not all that creepy…
o big whop she had a nife and wuz gna kill herself big deal….shes not the only one! dude this wuz freakin lame
Bad pasta is bad.
I liked it…
bland pasta is bland.
more sauce please.
well i shat myself O.o although this is one of the first creepy pastas i’ve ever read
Hey everyone, RoosterSheep DID write this up himself, just so we’re clear on that. I was told that if I want to append onto it, I should submit it via email as a new story. I prolly won’t do that, since I honestly don’t think I could do much better or add to it. Plus, the idea is already taken, duh.
But as a comment to the actual goodness of the story? I liked it. Not as much paranormal stuff as other things on the site, which I like since it makes it more believable. I give this one a solid 8/10.
Agree also with Anon above about just enjoying this. No philosophical meanings or anything like that. Just an honest telling of something creepy. I mean, who WOULDN’T be creeped out if this happened to them? I sure as fuck would.
INSERT SOMETHING INSULTING ABOUT SAMHEIN HERE
I honestly didn’t quite get this pasta… and I think that the confusion it creates is sort of what’s keeping it from being widely creepy. It has tons of potential, though.
Even though the last line was also the title, it creeped me out a bit. :’D
@Sarah and @candidkiss
I’m not usually particularly bothered about credit, but I won’t have someone try to take credit for my work. If you view my previous posts in this discussion you’ll see that I have mentioned that the article was written by me, I have linked to the original (which I posted on reddit). I have corrected the grammar in my original post and can edit it again to prove that I am the original author. You won’t find the article anywhere else dated as early as I have posted it. Is that proof enough?
Nice try candidkiss, but no cigar.
This pasta sort of failed my expectations.
Whats the point of having a story that isnt creepy or somewhat scary on CREEPY pasta?
I cant even figure out what was going on. x-x
I actually though that the story would take to more of a murderous path, such as the kid was dreaming of someone who was watching his house, like he was seeing into someone elses eyes. And at the end hed wake up from his last dream to find the murderer standing there.
That would of been much better for me.
Overall, the story was written nicely, it atleast drew me in, but the story completally threw me off and left me angry at not being able to figure out what was going on, AT ALL.
It gets a 2/10 from me.
I barley found pasta and i like this guys story tho the tittle gave the ending away of course you will predict the ending soo…dont judge of a mans fear if you experienced this wouldnt you be shitting your pants
^ lol
Yeah, I’d believe Stephen King wrote this.
Nah, this is one of mine. You can tell because it has scary things in it.
i wrote this one sarah GIVE ME CREDIT NOW
Candidkiss, tbh I can’t confirm if you’re the author or not, the original submission didn’t have a request for credit and as of yet I haven’t received a response to my email asking them if they wanted credit.
If you are in fact the OP, try re-sending the email I guess.
Fail pasta sucks.
eh it was ok but lets not have the ending be the title and maybe u should flesh it out a bit
has potential IMO
Lol you motherfuckers are the reason no one can enjoy literature in school anymore. Protip: theres not deep philosophical meaning to every story out there. Ever hear of just taking something for face value and enjoying the ride? For example, there’s no evil reflection, or reflection-come-to-life at all. There’s 2 of him, for whatever reason, that’s it.The only reason the reflection is stated so much is that the story is first person the whole time thus a reflection is the only way he could see his own face. Durr, real hard to figure out. Save that psuedo “deep thinking” shit for your english class.
dammit roostersheep, you ruined the surprise. I wanted them to think it was real. :P
I sent this pasta in. I’m sorry for the poor grammar or whatever it is you guys didn’t like. That won’t change, since I don’t really care, for the reason given below.
I don’t believe in a god, in aliens, ghosts. Hell I don’t even really believe in luck. I do believe in people tho, and I do believe that the horrors we can inflict on each other and on ourselves can rival any monster we can dream up. Why? Probably because there is so much about our own mind that we don’t know, and there is so much hiding “back there” that we don’t even realize that monsters can live behind our very eyelids.
This pasta is not really that creepy. It doesn’t have ghosts, and it isn’t an allegory for anything. It’s an true explanation of what happened the other night. After I found the knife in my bed, I was horrified. Less for my own safety than for my girlfriend, who often spends the night. I asked her that we please not fall asleep together for this very reason, and she wholeheartedly understood.
I have two brothers and a sister, and all of us but the youngest (brother) sleepwalk horribly. My sister sleepwalks, and when she does, she just walks away. We found her one night after she was screaming in the basement. There isn’t anything down there obviously, but to an 8 year old girl at 2 am, she was practically in hell. Once we actually caught her walking outside of our house while asleep. As she grew older, she grew out of this, so we were all pretty glad.
My brother’s dreams always involved him dying in someway, and they were extremely explicit. At one point he sleepwalked to my mother and stepfathers room, told them what exactly he was seeing in his dream, and then sleepwalked back to bed. My parents knew what was happening, so they didn’t freak out and just made sure he stayed in bed.
As for me, my dreams aren’t as exciting as my brothers. When you sleepwalk, you are still aware of the things happening, but you remember them as if they were a dream. When I was younger I’d sleepwalk a lot, and usually it was harmless. I remember once I walked to the living room, asked to use the restroom (which made my mom laugh) and then went upstairs to go number 1 in the bathtub. It was pretty funny actually. Sometimes they’re scary, like the time I woke up standing next to my brother’s bed, and he was staring right at me. We were both asleep. That was pretty bad.
As I grew up, it went away. Just like my sis. Going to college sparked long nights of insomnia, and therefore sleep medications. This retriggered some sleepwalking sessions, but the worst I did was destroy an entire loaf of bread over my dorm room, which my roommate found hilarious. I do remember once, I had accidentally taken a quick nap on a bench waiting for the shuttle bus to show up. When it did, I shot up so fast that my body hadn’t fully woken up yet. I was completely paralyzed from the waist down, and it was horrifying.
Just so you know. The dream stopped. My gf took all my knives, pencils, scissors and whatever else I could hurt myself with. After a few days I just stopped sleepwalking. Like I said, there isn’t really an allegory or a meaning to any of this. And I’m sorry about the grammar. I just thought you guys would enjoy it.
Btw, the moderator who posted this didn’t credit me, so hopefully she can help verify me as the actual submitter. I sent the email to credit it as candidkiss on monday. Thanks.
@SAMHEIN:
“@zygotesix
So I’m a pretentious fuck because I said I didn’t understand it? How does that make me pretentious?”
So then you’re not denying that you are, in fact, a fuck?
6 out of 10 meat cleavers
Thanks Pony Canyon, I have updated the original version which is linked from my username to correct small grammar mistakes. I hadn’t even realised the ‘think’ part. I proof read it a number of times and still didn’t notice it.
Thanks for letting me know.
a little creepy, but didn’t scare the shit out of me 6,567927465/10
@ Cupcake: I’m not sure that dreams where the dreamers are observing themselves are as uncommon as you imply. I have dreams like this on a regular basis, and based on the accounts of family and friends, I’m not alone. But the other ideas addressed in your comment are pretty interesting. Dreams are too often relegated to a realm of accepted normality (“eh, they’re dreams, they’re supposed to be weird but don’t really mean anything”) despite their potential importance and significance, especially in more material cultures like ours.
I liked the concept, creeped me the fuck out cause I’ve had many a lucid dream in my time, and can relate to the feeling. The execution, though, was pretty suckish. Could of been WAY better, but oh well. It was still pretty good, and is yet another story that will make me more paranoid of reflections. I think it was well worth being on the site. Quit bitching everybody, It’s not like amazing creepypastas that aren’t overdone are in abundance. Be glad that there’s anything left to read at all these days, and more glad still that someone takes the time to collect them bit by bit and add them all to one convenient location for you to browse. Maybe instead of complaining about every new story that shows up here, go dig up some good ones that haven’t been submitted yet and suggest they be added. Or better yet, go write your own damn creepypasta.
Keep at it RoosterSheep. No one shits out Moby Dick on their first attempt. I think you’ve got a decent concept here, it just needs more polishing.
As to the grammar – the “stood’ mishaps were a big pothole for me. In most of the instances, ‘standing’ is the word you want there. There were a couple other issues, such as “I kept think over and over again”.
Is this based on MS Paint Adventures? It’s like a dream self thing.
Decent concept marred by poor execution. There were a number of situations where the phrasing was just awkward and the pacing felt more than a little off.
Atrocious english.
Hi guys. I am the original author of this little story. I wrote it for reddit a few days ago. I have never written a short story before and thought I’d give it a shot.
I really appreciate all of your comments and criticism. Could you please let me know where I screwed up on the grammar? “I was stood outside” – I think this might be a UK thing, or something local to where I live in the UK.
The use of the reflections was overused I suppose. There was no intention of having the personality switch with my own at the end. The face in the reflection looked terrified because I was terrified. Whereas throughout the dream sequences, the face in the reflection was sinister because the person in control was sinister, though I could see through his eyes.
The story wasn’t planned, I just improvised as I wrote it. I’m glad some of you enjoyed. If I ever decide to write again I’ll take your comments into consideration.
Nice pasta, it sort of reminded me of those little point and click adventures that I play on the internet when I can’t sleep…
Alright, ya’ll be hatin’. But I love it. I LOVE it. I love IT.
@Cupcake: I saw Inception earlier today. Definitely made the pasta thoroughly enjoyable. Would eat again. Will eat again. 9/10
Sorry but I have to agree with Samhein. There has to be some element of the real world, that’s what makes it more realistic and therefore creepy.
Suspension of disbelief is cool but not when it’s a giant fucking leap of faith.
Maybe it’s just my mood right now but I really just found this really irritating.
THEN WHO WAS KNIFE
If you check creepypasta on a daily, or even weekly, or maybe even monthly basis, you start to realize how formulaic the posted stories are. Some of the genuinely well-written scary stories I’ve seen on the web never come here, some from the damn forums (“Crawl”).
For the good of the world, can we officially put an end to three things?:
1) Making cheeky pasta references, like “this pasta is burnt” or “this pasta is tasty, would eat again” or whatever. They’re grating at this point.
2) Mirrors/reflections as a source of fear. This could be a personal thing, but I never found them all that scary to begin with. With how overdone the motif is at this point, how could anyone?
3) FIRST (though it looks like that’s been taken care of).
FUCK DREAMS
Good concept, baad execution
Yes, yes, been a while since i last commented, but w/e
For those of you having trouble understanding this one, the reflection is significant because the mirror surface (knife) is acting as a visual portcullis to the dreamer’s alternate self. The Waking Self is malicious, though possibly unaware, hence the menacing grin. The Dreaming self is terrified at the actions taking place at the end, hence the terrified reflection.
While I generally agree that there is perhaps too much going on in this pasta, it shouldn’t be that difficult to get at least a basic grasp of what is going on.
alternate selves + mirror worlds + dream worlds = Daunting Yet Tasty Pasta
The writing became a bit repetitive though, so with that and the somewhat blunt writing style, I’ll say give this one a 7/10
Kudos
This was a good concept, but not that well written. You have to give the author credit for the idea.
It was good but not great it lacked scariness
i give it a seven but i guess if you think about it the worst monster is yourself and this story really showed that
Er.
“I was stood outside of my house”
The fuck?
and why the hell do we have this background noise, it screams
(I AM TRYING TOO HARD TO BE CREEPY)
Interesting pasta, I like the idea of dual personalities, its an rarely used concept. However, the problem with this pasta is that you didnt explore the concept nearly as much as you could have.
There is a fine line between subtle hinting, and not enough story, this sadly was the latter.
Well written, good concept, well delivered, but poorly explored.
5.5/10
Meh….I’m still hungry…..
like everyone else said, it’s predictable. but not horrible. there are worse pastas on here.
on another note… how long did it take for other readers to realize there was background music on this site? because i never noticed it before.
@ Name: I disagree about ghosts not existing. They totally exist. I had enough experinces in my life to prove that they do.
insomnia is shit, isnt it?
kind of creepy. Grammar was really horrible though…work on that will you? 7/10 at least. ^__^
Dear god, this pasta was amazing. Maybe I’m thinking too much into it, but after watching Inception last night, the concept of sleep and what goes on in the subconscious mind is just amazing. I don’t think many of you quite understand this pasta, and maybe the author didn’t intend for it to be as such, but here is my interpretation:
Many can recall having an “out-of-body” experience while asleep; Nothing like sleepwalking, but as if they weren’t themselves – more of a host sharing their body and thoughts. I’ve heard several people tell me they had dreams that they were watching themselves. It’s a pretty rare occurrence considering most dreams are in first person. When you have a dream where you aren’t yourself or that you are watching yourself, most likely something in real life happened that made you feel disconnected and maybe separate from your usual routine. I don’t mean to preach psychology at you, but I believe that this pasta stems from something like that.
Now, when it comes to the story itself, I believe that when the person falls asleep, he enters that out-of-body state of mind. Hence, starting the dream by standing outside the house. The paranormal aspect is that his disconnected dream self has become real. When his dream self knocks on the door, he hears it in real life because it really happens. When he wakes up, of course he reconnects consciously, forcing the dream “apparition” to disappear. The same goes for when he slams the knife drawer shut. We all hear about how noises in the environment correlate to things happening in the dream. This pasta brings that concept to life on a paranormal level. It’s almost as if the author is tying together alternate reality and lucid dreaming. Ever wake up with a jolt because you felt like you were falling, and you could have swore you fell right into your bed? It’s the same thing, except the knife is the concrete version of that idea. Certain things in your dream seem so real but you have no evidence to prove it other than the fact that you just felt yourself hit your mattress hard. The knife was his surreal proof that it was really happening, and the reflection was a representation of the dream, obviously, because the expressions on the faces were those of the opposite worlds (real/dreaming).
I hope that wasn’t too confusing but I thoroughly enjoyed the pasta. It’s one of the better ones for me, lately. This part scared the hell out of me because it happens to me on occasion:
“If you stare directly into the reflection of your eyes for long enough, eventually it will hit you that someone is looking at you. You know it’s your reflection, but for just a second, you forget and become self conscious, as if it’s somebody else behind your reflection’s eyes.”
I’ll give it a 9.5 out of 10. Well written, great concept, and definitely creepy.
I thought this was a pretty good story – familiar concept, but reasonably good exectuion. 7/10.
“zombies aren’t real”
…Yet.
Also:
SAMHEIN – It’s a story pasta. it doesn’t have to make sense. I can tell that you’re one of those people who like to explain things by science, it’s just a story, you guys should stop fighting and respect each others opinions.
That was really expected and not surprising. I’d call it cliche, but it isn’t. It was pulled off well, but it’s just me because I already knew what was going to happen ;)
8/10
No samhein, you are only a “pretentious fuck” for going on and on about it instead of simply saying ‘I don’t get it’ or ‘I don’t like that it’s illogical.’
omg i liked this pasta,,but i knew the ending probably at the first paragraph,,very good pasta,,,he almost killed himself with his own spirit,,,,, interesting,,but not scary,,,well it would have been but my mom was listining to lady gaga and it ruined the moment lol
I can imagine an Arabic man in a Baghdad Cafe, privately listening to what appears to be local radio on his headphones, only to rise as if summoned by an invisible demon and open fire on a passing motorcade. This isn’t a conspiracy theory, but a reality of our time, in which black and false-flag operations have become prolific and endemic. As long as intelligence agencies are able to virtually teleport kill orders and intelligence across public airspace with astonishing reliability and security, expect more of the same for centuries to come.
Meh. Mediocre pasta. Good idea, but the writing needs a lot of work.
@SAMHEIN
I think what he means is that when he’s dreaming he grins in the knife…when he wakes up he looks at it and his reflection is terrified…his reflection is terrified because he is terrified. None of this switching places nonsense.
that’s too bad. you screwed up the whole story; reflections are never seen in dreams.
Well, I enjoyed it. One of the best on the site in a while.
Creepypasta is creepy
despite being able to tell the ending, it was still well written and spooked me juuust a little
6 out of 10 =]
I actually liked this pasta. Old concept, suckish spelling and grammar at times (yeah, it could’ve been better) but I actually liked it. :DD
And aren’t there any pastas around anymore? Creepypasta.com almost never updates anymore… D:
6/10 You had a good concept that if you thought more on could have grew to be very awesome. But the pacing felt rushed and the story just felt meh. Just spend more time working and going over the story to fine tune it a little and it could be a very good pasta.
The concept was sound, but the poor writing was fairly off putting.
I’d give it a 4/10…
Hm. It was a bit slow, I guess, and had an error or two, but the last line really made it. I enjoyed this pasta.
This creeped me out… Not to be different from the crowd, lol.
I’m sensing a large comprehension fail.
In his dream, he becomes his own “evil side” or something. And this evil side is trying to kill him. Each time he dreams, he gets closer and closer to killing himself in the waking world.
When he finally did kill himself, his evil dream self and his normal self switched places, which is why the reflection of his terrified self was in the knife at the end. Kind of hard to explain, but I think this is right. Correct me if I’m wrong…
Grammar fail: “I was stood outside”
The grammar totally killed the pasta for me.
wat zygo said. also, i knew the ending after reading the tile but i enjoyed it anyways. 8/10
I think it’s the fact that the person asleep’s reflection is them awake and vice-versa. So when he’s asleep his reflection is terrified by the dream and he’s looking at that while when he is awake he’s looking at himself confused and afraid and realizes it.
Not bad, but not good either… 5/10 for trying.
@zygotesix
So I’m a pretentious fuck because I said I didn’t understand it? How does that make me pretentious?
Also, if it doesn’t follow at least a few of the rules of the real world, I can’t relate to it or envision it actually happening, and it becomes significantly less creepy, which is something I would assume would be bad for this sort of writing…
This creepypasta really freaked me out, because I’ve had dreams where I’m approaching myself sleeping in bed before, although usually I just wake myself up in my dream.
@Samhein: did you also not get vampires and zombies aren’t real, neither are ghosts, there is no monster under the bed, and the stories on creepy pasta aren’t real.
obviously if you try to think of it in real world terms it doesn’t make any sense.
Samhein makes no sense. I thought it was ok. A little on the meh side, but heart-poundingly so. If that makes sense.
Sucked. I’m starting to agree with everyone else, it seems like none of these are all that great anymore.
I think people aren’t giving this pasta enough credit. It was interesting and original. I enjoyed it a lot even though the ending was predictable. I give it an 8/10.
It wasn’t really himself Samhein, suspension of disbelief, learn to do it.
The last line made me lol.
Burnt pasta is burnt.
Too much fancy seasoning, looks like the author experimented with crap all over it. The reflection was not an important part of the story imo, and yet the author spent so much text on explaining “Hey, this is a reflection that’s different from my face, it’s some guy that looks scary and is happy that he is scared”. I don’t lucid dream, but I would hazard a guess that, when you do dream, you don’t choose good grammar in every single damn sentence you use and suddenly turn Victorian. There was no description of the character, of his/her location, just “Oh I had a nightmare I was gonna kill myself and now I have insomnia”.
Therefore, I give this shit pasta 1/10 for the effort.
…Also, I see you like the phrase “roasting hot”
So much text – One paragraph? I’m not sure about the rules of posting creepypasta, but I don’t really think it’s a waste if it helps introduce the other side of the persona.
What the hell do lucid dreaming and grammar have to do with each other? Are you criticising him/her for using good grammar? I really don’t understand this, it just seems like you want to complain about something, even if it’s really nothing.
Victorian? Do you have any idea what you’re talking about? I see no change between the “lucid dreaming” part and the “awake” part, so what are you spouting?
This is a creepypasta. It isn’t a fictional book or a story with multiple parts or whatever. It’s a one-off piece of writing. I don’t see at all how the fact that its description of the character and his/her location has anything to do with the quality of the piece of writing. It’s called In medias res, and it’s an actual technique in writing.
I can see that you didn’t like the creepypasta, but you didn’t really back up why you didn’t like it. Criticism is quite welcome in writing – as long as it’s valid. You’re just spouting nonsense.
@Samhein
Yeah, because when I read a story about my demonic reflection trying to slaughter me, I want it to be grounded in the world of logic.
Having said that, I give this a 7/10. It’s a lot better than shit that’s been posted around here recently, but it’s not really that great.
What the fuck guys. I didn’t see the ending coming at all. Writing wasn’t so great though. Maybe 7/10.
Lol @ Samhein. Take it easy.
It sucked anyway. I guess every kind of pasta is actually gettin’ old, specially Reflections/Dreams themed ones.
@Samhein: dude, its creepypasta. It’s doesn’t have to follow the rules of the real world. Stop taking yourself so damn seriously, you pretentious fuck.
dude…well this is the real world, and ya gonna need to ease up on the language. dayum.
I don’t get it? How could he have heard himself doing something? It’s not possible. Even if he was sleepwalking, there is no way he could have done something to make a noise, only to be woken up by said noise. At first, I thought maybe the person in the dream was the “other person” and the reflection was him (while he was ‘dreaming’), but this also makes no sense as the reflection in his dream was grinning, clearly not what he would do in that situation. Also, why would the face suddenly become terrified when he woke up? Inconsistent creepypasta is inconsistent…
Seriously the point is the dream entity of him was actually alive that’s why he could hear what he was doing it was like a psychic connection.
I could relate with waking up from a dream and the feelings you get, but wasn’t creeped out much.
Decently written, i guess a 5/10 for effort.
Not much quality pasta around nowadays, huh? Not much pasta period….
It might have just been me, but I saw the ending when I read the beggining of the third paragraph. Good story, it got my heart going, the ending was ok.
6.5/10
Meh pasta is meh.
Nothing much really happened… The ending I felt, simply wasn’t that creepy. It lacked something..
The fact that he just ended the story with ” I don’t sleep anymore.” is just bland. I understand what you mean by ” lacking something”.
From the way I see it, the pasta is “different” from some on here; but it is still a bit too “basic” or “bland”… nothing really out of the ordinary.
6/10
honestly i think its pretty good, personally i have kinda the same deal.i dream nothing but dreams where a different version of me is killing me, in the morning ill wake up exhausted and bruised, so its more of whether you can relate to it.
random guy, your comment was creepier than the story… you should write a pasta about dat. be better than this (not tryna be mean)
Yes it was a very bland pasat
Agreed, needs more sauce.
I thought it could use some ghost peper sauce and unknown seasoning.
Yeah it realy was lacking in the creep factor like it had an intresting idea but it didn’t realy pull it right