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All He Wants



Estimated reading time — < 1 minute

The sweet old lady rocks rhythmically in her recliner. Her head nods often in approval as she agrees wholeheartedly with her favorite evangelist late this evening. This has been Mrs. Weatherford’s routine every night since her late husband left her alone and vulnerable.

The preacher is hitting his groove on this exciting paid advertisement, “The love of God is unyielding! His Grace is amazing because it is neither earned nor taken. No it is free! All He requires is that you receive his gift. All Christ wants from you is to understand that you are not condemned and to go forth and make the world a better place through love and compassion through the word of the Lord!”

The sweet old lady increases her rocking pace in childlike excitement as the words of the Lord ring true in her heart. As she turns and gestures to the young Girl Scout tied to the dining room chair, she can sense the Holy Spirit’s message getting through by the tears of joy streaming down the saved child’s cheeks.

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Credit To – StupidDialUp

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30 thoughts on “All He Wants”

  1. Katherine C:
    I generally really like micropastas, but this one just didn’t really hit the mark for me. I feel like the real strength of this format is the ability to really quickly plant the clues and create a scene with a final stunning twist. I feel this one really excelled at creating a fantastic scene. The rocking chair created strong pacing, and the preacher was well written and believable to anyone who’s ever seen a televangelist. I think the decision to use present tense also helped create this very immediate and well-paced scene. In fact, the mood of these opening paragraphs was probably the creepiest part for me. Where I feel this micropasta slipped was in tying the final punch into the story. It comes out of nowhere, and I really couldn’t find any earlier clues. I think adding one or two subtle sentences would help to tie the ending paragraph into the rest of the story, make it feel less like a cheap jump scare and more intentional (not that I’m saying it wasn’t intentional, I’m just describing how it felt to me). While this one wasn’t really my cup of tea, I feel like it is really well written, and had some really fantastic high points in the descriptions. Nice job, and happy writing!

    that comment is
    longer than the pasta itself

  2. I liked it, it reminds me of carrie or something. It’s also quite relevant and people are starting to realize it more and more

  3. I’m from the Southern U.S. so I think I took for granted the readers’ preconception of the radically religious Christian. I greatly appreciate everyone’s feedback on this one!

  4. I failed to see the connection between the preacher’s words and the fact that the lady kidnapped a girl, or even to understand why she did. To me it just came out of the blue that there is a girl tied there and the lady thinks she saved her (but from what? Selling biscuits?)

    1. Maybe you need some background with evangelical Christians to make the connection – I immediately saw it as the old lady kidnapping and essentially “force feeding” salvation to the child.

      The creepy part is that the old woman truly believes she’s doing the little girl a favor. It resonated for me because I grew up going to an evangelical church, and they really, really hammered the whole “great commission” – aka in everything you do, you always need to be converting everyone you meet to evangelical Christianity – over and over. So add in an old lady with some dementia, and you get this. It’s scary and sad when you bring that context into it.

      But I can see how someone without that touchstone of knowledge would be very confused, I suppose.

        1. I did not generalize. I was speaking to a specific belief in one specific denomination/church as it related to this pasta. I’m not sure how, if you actually read the comment, you could even interpret it as my saying “all Christians believe and do this” – it’s not even close to what was being said.

  5. :( Why are you doing this to me stupiddialup? I love your stories and you are one of the best authors on the site but, lately you have been missing the mark by a lot. I think this has to be your worst story. Even the ones on crappypasta were better because with Swing Sets I saw what you were aiming for. Sure you missed but, here, I don’t think you were aiming for anything. It’s just bad. 1/10. Sorry.

  6. But, why did she take the little girl in the first place? I know she was lonely but couldn’t some cats work out instead of kidnapping

  7. Micropastas, like poetrypastas, must be verrrrry well done to be any good. I felt this one fell very short. All I look for at the end of a micropasta is to maybe put a smile on my face. This one elicited nothing. 3/10

  8. I generally really like micropastas, but this one just didn’t really hit the mark for me. I feel like the real strength of this format is the ability to really quickly plant the clues and create a scene with a final stunning twist. I feel this one really excelled at creating a fantastic scene. The rocking chair created strong pacing, and the preacher was well written and believable to anyone who’s ever seen a televangelist. I think the decision to use present tense also helped create this very immediate and well-paced scene. In fact, the mood of these opening paragraphs was probably the creepiest part for me. Where I feel this micropasta slipped was in tying the final punch into the story. It comes out of nowhere, and I really couldn’t find any earlier clues. I think adding one or two subtle sentences would help to tie the ending paragraph into the rest of the story, make it feel less like a cheap jump scare and more intentional (not that I’m saying it wasn’t intentional, I’m just describing how it felt to me). While this one wasn’t really my cup of tea, I feel like it is really well written, and had some really fantastic high points in the descriptions. Nice job, and happy writing!

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