The End
On his way home that night, as he walked through town, a man stepped out of an alley in front of him. He tensed to defend himself, but the man just stood there. Looking him over, he realised the man looked like a hippie. Something of a comedy caricature of a hippie, really. Long unwashed hair and beard, sandals…and a sandwich board reading ‘THE END IS NIGH’. That, he thought, was unusual, even for a hippie.
“You want something?” he asked.
“The world’s ending,” said the hippie. “I need your help.”
He stepped around the hippie and kept walking. High as a kite, he thought to himself. The hippie started walking after him, and fell into step beside him.
“Please, I need your help,” said the hippie.
“Look, man, I’m really not interested,” he said, and kept walking.
The hippie leant against a wall, watching him walk away. The hippie wasn’t all that disappointed; lots of people gave this kind of response. Another skeptic, he thought to himself, fingering the ragged holes through the middles of his hands.
lol in the middle of his hands? please elaborate, ive read this pasta somewhere else :/ its like one of those pasta you read to get yourself mentally prepared for some real ass pasta lol
this pasta is mediocre because of the ominous sense this story gives off and the ending was.. “eh.”
Woah you can’t just throw some Jesus at us without warning.
I’m honestly interested to see how many people will comment about not getting it… I’m betting plenty will have the reference fly right over their pretty little heads
…….seriously?
THIS is what passes as creepypasta today?
…….I quit.
There certainly have been a shortage of good long pastas lately.
BUT WHO WAS JESUS?!!?!?
BUT WHO WAS JESUS?
lrn2Bible if anyone doesn’t get this.
It took me about two whole seconds.
Yay Jesus.
I liked this one for some reason. I wonder how many people know was stigmata is.
Brix were shat
seriously?
i’m never coming to this site again.
I really quite liked this one, it was pretty short. But it was ominous and dark.
Wasn’t creepy, but it did well.
7/10
So this story is creepy because Jesus is warning us against the end of the world?
Fuck you Jesus, I haven’t unlocked everything in CoD:MW2 yet. Delay that crap for me.
THEN WHO WAS MARKS OF ME
but who was jesus?
Excellent!
BUT WHO WAS JESUS
took me a couple of seconds, but I got it…
Old pasta is old. And it’s one of my favorites.
Author should have had the walking guy try to stab him in the side, only to find out IT ALREADY HAPPENED o.O
Also, I want a sandwich now.
I liked this one, short, sweet, and realistic. I mean that’s probably how most people would react if he was alive now.
Oh yeah… Another of those christian little pieces. ‘Jesus has returned, but none will listen before it is late.’
Good I am a strict atheist, is the only thought I had.
Oh god…
Literally,you smart ass jesus
It’s Jesus with the crucifixion holes in his hands. But that doesn’t make this good OR creepy. Mostly it’s just horribly written and complete crap. Not clever. 0/10
Without a doubt the worst pasta I have ever seen on this website.
at first i lol’d
…
then i serious’d
I hand to read the last sentence twice, but I really don’t like it anyway. Not the plot, but the way it was written. Could have been so much more elaborate.
Is Buddha getting the same results over in the east? What’s the Chinese equivalent of a hippie– a komuso monk?
THEN WHO WAS MESSIAH?
When I realized what it was I actually clapped my hands over my mouth and squeaked. And went ‘MINDFUCK’ out loud.
I suspect most people will immediately understand the reference, and then feign ignorance because it’s very popular to be anti-religion these days, especially among our circles.
MIND BLOWN!!!! Hippie was Jesus? Duuuuuuuude….
It’s hard being me.
and guy was buddha, all like “FU geezus”
Short, sweet, to the point, creepy. And it gave that ‘wtfwhoaaaa’ moment at the end. Delicious.
this was horseshit
EL SENOR ES MALO
Weak.
subject matter aside, it was poorly written and while I can see the “creepy” or “scary” aspect from a religious POV it really fell flat for the rest of the masses.
Not scared yet.
@Aspire not being a christian doesn’t mean anti-religion…
I ‘aint afraid o’ no Jesus.
Seriously, at worst, it’s a crazy old hippie.
At best, it’s the least violent man who ever lived. Also God.
Look, everyone knows that jesus is working in a record store.
Get this fake shit outa here n3wbz
yay4jeebus
I read an almost verbatim version of that on some fundie site once.
Also, you can’t crucify people by nailing through the hands, they won’t support shit and then the guy rips down and then you end up wasting an afternoon. Through the wrists. Worse than fucking emo kids cutting their wrists the wrong direction…
Beautiful, I like the Twist ♥___♥
This has been on encyclopedia dramatica’s creepypasta page for over a year…
he’s jesus or something?
Spunk - Agreed. Mind. Blown. Totally blown.
I liked it. It was short, sweet, to the point, and had an ending that was really unexpected.
First I thought there were pingpong ball sized holes through his hands. Then it clicked.
stigmata much?
I rather enjoyed this one. I’m not religious at all, but for some reason I felt sad when the ending hit me… then creeped out. This one is concise and ominous: unlike many creepy pastas are today.
I knew jesus was a hippie from that walking on water bull shit. I did that once too-when I was high on acid.
I didn’t find this that scary as creepypasta goes, but fuck it makes you think doesn’t it?
Short creepypastas that make you think, are the ones that should be held in high regard.
This is an old one too. Why are so many retro pastas getting posted recently?
There was something about the ending that I really liked, but the writing style took something away from it all.
This one is not very good, but I still like it a lot. Funny.
For anyone who is like “wut” the “hippie” is supposed to be jesus, you know he was nailed to the cross, hence the holes in his hands.. sometimes reffered to as “stigmata” by idiots who have punched holes in thier own hands, claimed to have woke up like it and got loads of news coverage. its a shitty pasta.
this is a pretty interesting story, but not exactly creepy, at least to me. still, i liked it. (also: lol Jesus.)
1) Short and boring
2) He was nailed through just below the wrists (look it up)
3) Jesus is never good creepypasta material. Serial killer DRESSED LIKE Jesus maybe, but not Jesus himself
Religious pasta was nummy. Not too bad, but I’d actually help the poor “high as a kite hippie.”
Not to brag about my rosaries or anything
BUT THEN WHO WAS SANDWICH BOARD
THEN WHO WAS CLICHE CHRISTIAN PROPAGANDA?
Sick of pasta. Nothing good.
Frontpage sucks lately.
I like it. It was not particularly creepy, but enough to make one think.
You know what I would have liked? For this “creepy hippie” to be standing outside a church after Sunday services. Ja?
I thought this was a good story. Made me sad at the end, really. ^^
Mediocra pasta, the farthest thing from creepy. Uninteresting till the end, though those unfamiliar with the Christian religion might not have recognized the Jesus reference.
Wow i didnt get this pasta at first and then i had to read the comments to get it this pasta is really gay and i hate it worst pasta ever!
BUT WHO WAS BRIAN
‘fingering the ragged holes through his hands’
lol wut? Not creepy but I kind of liked it… 6/10
guys who the fuck is jesus?
what the fuck
it would be cool if everyone bitching about shitty pasta would submit their own :333333333333
i liked this pasta. not creepy, but not bad.
I get it.
Clever Jesus
Adding Jesus does not make this any less lame.
THEN WHO WAS CRAPPY PASTA POSTER?
For those who don’t understand this, it is referred to as Stigmata. If the character wasn’t in fact Jesus, then he suffered the pains of Christ which is what Stigmata is.
Oh I get it! ..and now what?
You’d think the son of God’s second coming would be more impressive and convincing than copying Roschach’s day job.
*Rorschach
Oh, its Jesus.
When they said holes, I was thinking about some gaping hole in his hand…
Like someone said, darkly ominous but not creepy/scary. Overall, though, this was really good, as it was short, sweet, and simple.
i feel so crappy for not realising the hippe was jesus -.-
BUT WHO WAS CHRIST?
eh, lame.
Crucifixion is done by nailing through the wrists, not hands. Other than that, I liked it. 7/10.
last time I checked this was creepypasta NOT christianpasta
I want to send this pasta back…
Crucifixion is done through the wrists, yes, but the popular image (and thus the one that more people will recognize) is the innacurate through-the-hands portrayal. Christ, don’t you people know anything about dumbing shit down for the lowest denominator?
it’s not creepy, but it’s sad D:
Lame.
It really doesnt matter. This pasta is horrible regardless. He could have had holes in his nipples and it wouldnt change the fact that this is complete garbage.
The flaw with this particular pasta is all in the opening sentence. It’s too impersonable and confusing as to who’s who. After that, there’s a lack of suspense, and the story wasn’t dragged out long enough for the “shock” at the end to be effective.
Fail execution (no pun), tired concept, but still has SOME potential.
MASSIVE plagurism on the poster’s part (it was on Encyclopedia Dramatica’s creepypasta page for Christ’s sake, no pun intended) also, is shit
I see what you did there.
From now on any hippie that apporaches me I’ll check his hands first to make sure.
Needs moar Thor.
Wow took me like a whole 8 seconds to get that. Good pasta if you think about it.
Wait, is this suppose to be scary? I’m not sure. It wasn’t scary… but if it suppose to be scary… then something is wrong with me….
Not creepy but clever. And that loser who said he was a “strict atheist”…you’re just as much an extremist as those who start wars in name of God. Chill out dude. I prefer these short ones over the long ones any day.
I think I’ve read this somewhere else before. It was suprising at first, but then it took awhile to digest =/
I almost missed it, but reread the last part and finally got it. nice story bro.
“MASSIVE plagurism on the poster’s part (it was on Encyclopedia Dramatica’s creepypasta page”
Do you not know the definition of creepypasta?. Also, learn how to spell.
Lammmeee.
Not creepy in the least. Clever, in that, “…Oh, I get it,” kind of way, but not creepy at all.
OH LOL IT’S JESUS. Took me a while…
As one or two posters before me posted, the holes would be around his wrists - his palms would not be able to support his weight hanging from a cross.
Also: this was on the Encyclopedia Dramatica entry for “creepypasta” LONG before now; I wonder what took so long to move it here? Old pasta is old.
This wasn’t creepypasta. It was bad joke you tell your drunk buddies in a bar.
You know what my biggest problem with it is? There was no build-up. I mean to say, there is no sense of foreboding at all. There’s a hippie, he’s weird, he says something, the protagonist ignores him, and the hippie is Jesus, who doesn’t even seem to give a fuck. That’s it. It’s not written well at all, and so instead of thinking “OMG THE HIPPIE IS JESUS WE ARE DOOMED,” the reader thinks “Oh, it’s Jesus. Meh.” Not even Christ really cares whether or not this guy listens, it seems, so why should we?
I hate to say it, but if I’m going to read about the end of the world through a Christian perspective, I’d rather read Left Behind. Those books are terrible, but at least there’s a bit of urgency. A bit.
Haha, Jesus is a hippie.
Unfortunatelly I smelled Jesus all the way from the first “hippie”. Otherwise a very nice piece, even with the possibly unintended (sp?) comedy factor.
And to be honest: if it hadn’t been Jesus, I would have felt let down and disappointed.
Middle on the hand?
FAIL!
The nails were closer to the wrist…
This isn’t creepy at all. This is really something I would expect to be in some sort of crazy religious sermon. In fact, you could read that verbatim. At least it’s clever! (Oh wait, not really…)
Is anyone aware of creepypasta.net? It’s a *lot* better…
Seriously? Jesus is creepy pasta?
Just no.
This was terrible, but I still laughed.
I love Jesus just as much as the next guy, but even his presence isn’t enough to save this pasta. Honestly. Right down to the idea behind it, this pasta is the very embodiment of cliche. I’m usually not this mean, really, but for God’s sake, man, get your ideas somewhere besides the Christian channel.
Oh, you’re all so god damned edgy for being atheists. Do you believe in fucking slenderman and the rake? No, but you still enjoy stories about them.
GAH! I can’t believe I missed that the first time.
The first time I read this I didn’t get it. The second time I read it I shat brix.
^^Retards^^
Some people here are far too easily amused… If they were running this site, people who can’t write for shit (like me back when I first came here and in some cases, to this day) would be praised for their crappy writing and never grow. Kinda sucks, really.
its jesus you guys
What the fuck would Jesus need my help for? Isn’t he supposedly the second most powerful being in the universe, what am I going to do, spot him a twenty?
This story was really good; short, dark, and makes you think.
9/10
I’m pretty sure this exact story is circulated in Catholic circles all the time.
I for one like the idea of Jesus fingering himself. Makes me kinda hot.
jesus!
I don’t think this is too bad. I’m not a Christian obviously, because I have this incredibly stupid addiction to thinking and I don’t take much pleasure in treating womin like objects, but if the J-man really did rise (and he wasn’t a zombie like before), people would tell him to sod off.
It was in the wrist, guys. The wrist, not the hand. lrn2physics
Religious pasta is religious.
I didn’t get it till I read some comments. xD
It’s interesting, I like it.
Nom nom nom.
lol jesus
I actually liked this. It was a quick piece of amusement. Though I find it really funny, how many people didn’t get it, or took a few seconds to get it, considering I thought it was ridiculously obvious.
BUT WHO WAS BEAUTY AND THE BEAST’S PROLOGUE?
oh, jesus. I SEE…
That was kinda cool.
could of been a little better but still cool
8/10
lol cool. yay jesus XD
Old pasta is old. And it wasn’t even good the first time around. It’s even more disappointing because of the retards who didn’t get it. jfc guys, what the hell.
Jesus he does not get high oof crack or meth i should know i was hanging out with him yesterday and we were blazing some of that good shit (weed) straight hydroponic BITCHES
p.s he wanted me to tell you guys he loves you all for the bible will tell you so
Oh.
Oooh! I get it. 8D
I got it the first time I read it! I’m so proud of myself! :DDD
And for those who don’t get it, think ‘gospel’.
I like the Christian reference at the end. Nice twist.
This pasta is kind of short. It would have been better if you fleshed it out a bit more.
Thanks for the read anyway.
–Char Mander
I’m confused. Jesus is supposed to be scary now?
this one always makes me laugh. But it is more like a satiric story, rather than creepypasta. Plus, it has too many repetitions.
I liked it. Would order JesusPasta again.
BUT WHO WAS THE SAMMICH BORED?
When I read the part The End Is Nigh, I was all like Watchmen!
@ Martin:
Making the assumption that anyone Christian is a sexist sheep is as bad as saying anyone who is Wiccan is a witch.
(btw I’m agnostic. Just saying)
My feet turned cold at the last sentence.
I like this pasta.
I’ve read this like 30 times before and I just thought it was weird that he had holes in his hand.
I read it again today and thought about it and then brix were shat.
IT’S JESUS.
that pasta was bad and you should feel bad
IT’S JEEBUS
When I think about Creepypasta I think about unsettling “truths”.
When I think about Jesus I think about religion and the bible and how ridiculous it all is.
This fails at every conceivable level.
lol at all the kiddies bashing this story because it has jesus so their friends on Livejournal think they’re cool
Not creepy, kind of weird
BUT WHO WAS JESUS????
nah atually that wasn’t really creepy,
But more surprising,Because is jesus seriously did come back. He would prolly be treated like that. minus the whole walking on water thing.
;-; jesus… i thought you where, stoned, drunk, and needing money ;-;
*walks off to find a hippie with a sandwich board*
people whose “mind was blown” are retarded and christian
I don’t see how that Jesus guy is scary. It was somewhat clever, but it really wasn’t interesting. Is Jesus supposed to be scary?
ha
This was more sexy than creepy.
“fingering the ragged holes”, mmmmmmmhhh.
Even though I didn’t find it creepy, I really loved the short story itself.
I liked it, and I’m atheist.
Sorry…WHAT?
Wait, did the POV just switch to the hippy all of a sudden? That’s bad writing.
Cute, but it’s impossible to hang a human up by nailing the palms of his hands.
What happened to completely normal average hippie’s hands? one unintelligent person might ask.
the Romans put thousands of people to death in their time. crucifixion was taken from the Persians and the Romans perfected it. All crucifixions were always done through the bones of the wrists. the nails would rest in place under you hand. which is so much sexier than going through the palm I think.
@2 pmsl Jesus
I like this one.
Not creepy, just…idk.
It has a good lesson. Lol.
This fucking blows
i didnt read every single comment so im not sure if someone posted this before, but jesus had holes stabbed through his wrists not his hands…if he was stabbed through his hands, then because of the crusafiction (yeah i prollly spelled that wrong, sue me) process, his body would have fallen of the cross and his hands just ripped off the nails
Don\’t know if anyone mentioned this, but he was crucified through the wrists. The bones in the hand aren\’t strong enough to support the body\’s weight and would rip open.
Bad pasta tastes bad.
Stephen King needs to teach this so called “writer” a lesson.
This had potential…I\’d have made it longer and more drawn out, with more people. As a short piece, it really doesn\’t work well.
lol, oh that silly jesus. what cant he do?
This was just bad. Crucifixions are done through the wrist, not the hand, but that’s really a minor detail. This had potential, but then the whole apathetic Jesus thing at the end just killed it. Maybe this is creepy to die-hard Christians, but other than that, it’s kind of just boring.
i dont git it… dont blame me im 12
i finally fucking get it
the guy was jesus