Scary Paranormal Stories & Short Horror Microfiction

Creepypasta

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We’ve all been there. You have just gone to a certain place, at a certain time on a certain date, done a special thing and the thing you suspected would happen has just fucking happened, not to mention the fact that you’ve just seen whatever the fuck it is that lives in your mirror, been told in detail how you’re going to die, and the highly demonic and invincible thing you summoned is heading towards you.
Also, your family are all dead, your friends are all missing and you’re being framed by someone with access to your bedroom. What the fuck do you do now, sweet protagonist?

Well, you’ve come to the right place to find out: These are the simple rules one must follow in order to firstly, not become the victim of creepypasta and furthermore, to come out kicking if the worst does happen. With the help of this guide you too can be the catatonic, traumatised wreck as opposed to the guy currently being worn as a coat by some dude who roams a lot. Just keep these simple rules in mind…

1. Mirrors and darkness don’t mix.
2. Actually mirrors are a general “NO”, in creepypasta world, there is nothing more sinister.
3. There is zero chance of survival if you look the thing that no one else can see or answer it’s question incorrectly.
4. If you are alone at night in a creepy mental institution,take some time to consider what the fuck are you doing there, then, if it is appropriate to do so, leave.
5. Avoid going to places where everyone else who went there never came back or died inexplicably.
6. If someone stops your vehicle at night and asks to come with you, it would probably be in your best interests to politely decline.
7. Killing is the last method of survival, use it sparingly but without fear.
8. WHO WAS PHONE is always a good thing to ponder. Also who the hell answers a phone while kissing a dead persons sexy daughter. A douche is who.
9. Get a simple .38 revolver. Load it with 2 silver bullets. If you really feel there is no chance to come alive out of a situation, take one shot at whatever’s threatening you. If this doesn’t work, you still have the last shot to become an hero with.
10. Area 51 is simply too well guarded to let you get in. Or to let any alien out.
11. When going to a hotel, try to steer clear of unauthorized areas. If you couldn’t resist but you saw a red thing, take some time to consider the price range and hotel standard on your next visit. Have you ever stayed at a haunted Hilton?
12. When booking your hotel stay, Trip Advisor can be an invaluable tool in deeming whether your choice is the scene of a multiple murder/full of dead people/built at the mouth of hell. Local newspapers can also be helpful.
13. Invoking demons, speaking weird languages and performing rituals of any kind is considered dangerous. Refrain from doing that, especially around Abandoned Warehouses, Churches, Psychiatric Institutions, Forests and your house in front of a mirror at night.
14. When going to a new area, environmental understanding is a key to survival. Ask around for cursed places, legends, dangers and other details. Listen to the local peoples’ advice, and don’t be afraid to ask if you’re unsure of which attacks/disappearances are paranormal and which aren’t.
15. Always have a Bible next to your bed. Provides average reading material, proof of beliefs and a really heavy object to throw at enemies.
16. Don’t count on Holy Water. Get a sturdy vial of Sulfuric Acid and let a priest Consecrate it.
17. Japanese priests cleanse rooms by waving katana swords around. Their ritual is 100% effective on corporeal forms.
18. If you find 666 messages on your phone, mailbox, email, etc consider changing the said service provider. Also don’t bother listening /reading the messages. It’s spam. Extra dimensional, possibly, but spam nevertheless.
19. Old pharmaceutical companies cant help you. Unless you specifically need “Blood Of The Innocent”, ”Snake Oil”, and “Radioactive Syrup”. Which is never.
20. If you need to sign it in blood, you do not need to sign it. All mainstream governing bodies will accept contracts signed in ink, bear this in mind if offered deals that seem too good to be true.
21. Lighthouses are dangerous. Avoid them at all costs. If you work at a Lighthouse consider a career in Insurance Sales, or Veterinary Care.
22. There is simply no reason to listen to music that causes suicidal tendencies, or to watch films that have had strange/disastrous consequences..
23. If you like to plan ahead and have some money, buy your auntie and uncle a house in Bel-Air. Nothing can harm you there no matter how scared your mother is.
24. Secret secluded untouched places in old buildings are left untouched for a reason. Pioneers never say “die” but in fact they do have an unusually high mortality rate.
25. Before you start swimming in the ice-cold waters of a murky lake at the center of a dark forest at midnight, ask yourself, do you really want to travel to an ancient and terrifying city? If the answer is “no,” then stay at home instead, and watch whatever quality programming is available on Cinemax.
26. On your 33rd birthday try celebrating in a well lit house with the company of others.
27. Refrain from using the One True Name for anything, there is probably a reason people gave it a nick.
28. Watching TV static for long periods may be hazardous to your health, try satelite TV to combat this problem.
29. Get a cat. Those furry little hairballs seem to perceive unnatural phenomena better than us, and if desperate, simply throw it at whatever is about to get you.
30. Cemeteries are bad places, especially in foggy conditions and on halloween.
31. Try not to close your eyes, ever. If you must, do so only briefly.
32. If you hear chanting, run until you are out of earshot.
33. If you are too old to play with dolls, you do not need to be anywhere near one of the creepy little fuckers.
34. Legends can offer valuable insight of where not to go camping with friends.
35. When babysitting, ascertain the family’s tastes and preferences, to avoid being killed by poorly selected statues.
36. Even if you are certain that running will not save you, it is always best to try.

Follow these simple rules and little (or massive) harm may befall you. Either way, the important thing is to make sure your tale is told, copied, and pasted repeatedly.

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Survival Guide, 9.3 out of 10 based on 2995 ratings
  • Hi , don’t turn around

    thanks for the doll tip: THOSE BITCHES CREEP ME OUT
    the katana thing is hilarious but incorrect: japanese priests bless the sword with herbs and leave it on an alter, also they give fruit and other foods to the “hungry ghosts”.

    the mirror thing is so true.

    and if anything says 666: PUNT THAT BITCH

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  • Hi , don’t turn around

    i await nex and Mr.Welldones review

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  • Non-moose

    Lovely. Just lovely.

    Also, if you really want to know why they didn’t say anything about certain dark figures…

    they did.

    #27.

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  • CrapCarp

    Awesome read. I actually really enjoyed this one.

    Author didn’t mention the silly pasta/meme about Candlejack though; how he kidnaps you after you mention hi

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  • Nex

    It is always refreshing to see someone poke fun at what so many of us call ‘scary stories’. Most amusing, and helps remind us that these are just stories, for as much as we might scoff, there is one story on this site for everyone, one that gets under their skin and in their mind, that preys on their doubts while they lie in their bed staring at their ceilings. Well done, and thankyou to the people from Encyclopedia Dramatica. And, as always:

    Fear the Darkness,

    -Nex

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  • anonymiss

    Very clever. :]

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  • Flash37

    …Crap. I have a large, old Tigger doll in my room. *looks at door to bedroom nervously*

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  • CrapCarp

    DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS

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  • Anonymous

    old pasta is old.

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  • Sighduck

    I loved it. 10/10 and a thumbs up

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  • Mr. Welldone

    foolish mortals! You make light of things beyond your understanding you-

    god I’m so lonely

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    Rating: +8 (from 8 votes)
  • mrs. moses

    If you are too old to play with dolls, you do not need to be anywhere near one of the creepy little fuckers.

    LOVED IT.

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    Rating: +4 (from 4 votes)
  • Alice

    . . .but who was mirror?

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  • Sniper

    I’ve been left out of the Slenderman loop. Anyone care to explain him?

    Otherwise, great work. I lol’d.

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  • Anonymous

    “23. If you like to plan ahead and have some money, buy your auntie and uncle a house in Bel-Air. Nothing can harm you there no matter how scared your mother is.”

    Not quite, Will got shot on Season 5, Episode 15.

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  • Child of Shadow

    18) Also, don’t try phoning the number back. Have you any idea how nuch it costs to get through to Hell? Pricey.

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  • Child of Shadow

    Also, 33 made me PMSL :D)

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  • Fniff

    Number 234: If you find a tape of a show made in the 70’s or 80’s named Candle Cove, throw it in the bin.

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  • Charlotte Mander

    Pretty sure I’ve read this before, but having it here is good nontheless.

    –Char Mander

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  • Liz

    We need this als rules of /x/. Srsly.

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  • ben dover

    amazing

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  • KSCIAA

    I read the whole thing in Morgan Freeman’s voice.

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  • Heather

    one of the best things i read. <3

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  • Anonymous

    Yeah, my cat came in pretty handy.

    This one time, I tried one of those weird ritual things and my cat fucking scratched the hell out of the horrible monster that came out of my mirror.

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  • Anonymous

    BTW, you should always read these things with the TV on. And if you have a laptop, sit on your couch(and make sure it’s against a wall).

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