Scary Paranormal Stories & Short Horror Microfiction

Creepypasta

Tags:  
FavoriteLoadingAdd this post to your list of favorites!
VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rate This Pasta
Rating: 9.3/10 (2987 votes cast)

We’ve all been there. You have just gone to a certain place, at a certain time on a certain date, done a special thing and the thing you suspected would happen has just fucking happened, not to mention the fact that you’ve just seen whatever the fuck it is that lives in your mirror, been told in detail how you’re going to die, and the highly demonic and invincible thing you summoned is heading towards you.
Also, your family are all dead, your friends are all missing and you’re being framed by someone with access to your bedroom. What the fuck do you do now, sweet protagonist?

Well, you’ve come to the right place to find out: These are the simple rules one must follow in order to firstly, not become the victim of creepypasta and furthermore, to come out kicking if the worst does happen. With the help of this guide you too can be the catatonic, traumatised wreck as opposed to the guy currently being worn as a coat by some dude who roams a lot. Just keep these simple rules in mind…

1. Mirrors and darkness don’t mix.
2. Actually mirrors are a general “NO”, in creepypasta world, there is nothing more sinister.
3. There is zero chance of survival if you look the thing that no one else can see or answer it’s question incorrectly.
4. If you are alone at night in a creepy mental institution,take some time to consider what the fuck are you doing there, then, if it is appropriate to do so, leave.
5. Avoid going to places where everyone else who went there never came back or died inexplicably.
6. If someone stops your vehicle at night and asks to come with you, it would probably be in your best interests to politely decline.
7. Killing is the last method of survival, use it sparingly but without fear.
8. WHO WAS PHONE is always a good thing to ponder. Also who the hell answers a phone while kissing a dead persons sexy daughter. A douche is who.
9. Get a simple .38 revolver. Load it with 2 silver bullets. If you really feel there is no chance to come alive out of a situation, take one shot at whatever’s threatening you. If this doesn’t work, you still have the last shot to become an hero with.
10. Area 51 is simply too well guarded to let you get in. Or to let any alien out.
11. When going to a hotel, try to steer clear of unauthorized areas. If you couldn’t resist but you saw a red thing, take some time to consider the price range and hotel standard on your next visit. Have you ever stayed at a haunted Hilton?
12. When booking your hotel stay, Trip Advisor can be an invaluable tool in deeming whether your choice is the scene of a multiple murder/full of dead people/built at the mouth of hell. Local newspapers can also be helpful.
13. Invoking demons, speaking weird languages and performing rituals of any kind is considered dangerous. Refrain from doing that, especially around Abandoned Warehouses, Churches, Psychiatric Institutions, Forests and your house in front of a mirror at night.
14. When going to a new area, environmental understanding is a key to survival. Ask around for cursed places, legends, dangers and other details. Listen to the local peoples’ advice, and don’t be afraid to ask if you’re unsure of which attacks/disappearances are paranormal and which aren’t.
15. Always have a Bible next to your bed. Provides average reading material, proof of beliefs and a really heavy object to throw at enemies.
16. Don’t count on Holy Water. Get a sturdy vial of Sulfuric Acid and let a priest Consecrate it.
17. Japanese priests cleanse rooms by waving katana swords around. Their ritual is 100% effective on corporeal forms.
18. If you find 666 messages on your phone, mailbox, email, etc consider changing the said service provider. Also don’t bother listening /reading the messages. It’s spam. Extra dimensional, possibly, but spam nevertheless.
19. Old pharmaceutical companies cant help you. Unless you specifically need “Blood Of The Innocent”, ”Snake Oil”, and “Radioactive Syrup”. Which is never.
20. If you need to sign it in blood, you do not need to sign it. All mainstream governing bodies will accept contracts signed in ink, bear this in mind if offered deals that seem too good to be true.
21. Lighthouses are dangerous. Avoid them at all costs. If you work at a Lighthouse consider a career in Insurance Sales, or Veterinary Care.
22. There is simply no reason to listen to music that causes suicidal tendencies, or to watch films that have had strange/disastrous consequences..
23. If you like to plan ahead and have some money, buy your auntie and uncle a house in Bel-Air. Nothing can harm you there no matter how scared your mother is.
24. Secret secluded untouched places in old buildings are left untouched for a reason. Pioneers never say “die” but in fact they do have an unusually high mortality rate.
25. Before you start swimming in the ice-cold waters of a murky lake at the center of a dark forest at midnight, ask yourself, do you really want to travel to an ancient and terrifying city? If the answer is “no,” then stay at home instead, and watch whatever quality programming is available on Cinemax.
26. On your 33rd birthday try celebrating in a well lit house with the company of others.
27. Refrain from using the One True Name for anything, there is probably a reason people gave it a nick.
28. Watching TV static for long periods may be hazardous to your health, try satelite TV to combat this problem.
29. Get a cat. Those furry little hairballs seem to perceive unnatural phenomena better than us, and if desperate, simply throw it at whatever is about to get you.
30. Cemeteries are bad places, especially in foggy conditions and on halloween.
31. Try not to close your eyes, ever. If you must, do so only briefly.
32. If you hear chanting, run until you are out of earshot.
33. If you are too old to play with dolls, you do not need to be anywhere near one of the creepy little fuckers.
34. Legends can offer valuable insight of where not to go camping with friends.
35. When babysitting, ascertain the family’s tastes and preferences, to avoid being killed by poorly selected statues.
36. Even if you are certain that running will not save you, it is always best to try.

Follow these simple rules and little (or massive) harm may befall you. Either way, the important thing is to make sure your tale is told, copied, and pasted repeatedly.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rate This Pasta
Rating: 9.3/10 (2987 votes cast)
Survival Guide, 9.3 out of 10 based on 2987 ratings
  • Arancaytar

    All of that is pretty funny, but the “17. Japanese priests cleanse rooms by waving katana swords around. Their ritual is 100% effective on corporeal forms.” was best.

    “29. Get a cat. Those furry little hairballs seem to perceive unnatural phenomena better than us, and if desperate, simply throw it at whatever is about to get you.” Also, you can just pretend any weird and ghastly noises downstairs were caused by them, allowing you to sleep better.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +253 (from 267 votes)
    • Slender man

      Yeah i always hear noises in the house at night and just tell myself it’s the cat, however unlikely it is

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +117 (from 133 votes)
      • Not A Cat Person

        Same. And I don’t even have a cat.

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +532 (from 540 votes)
        • firk

          BA BA BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -37 (from 101 votes)
        • Candeljack

          All you have to do is say my name and ill come protect you i swear. You can trust me.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +156 (from 178 votes)
        • http://yahoo Hunter1225

          Scared as shit after reading like 15. Stories of horror lol.
          P.S
          Candeljack

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +40 (from 52 votes)
        • EpicWinning

          SPREAD THE WORD

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +27 (from 33 votes)
        • Pasta eater

          I liked the one where you throw the cat’s hairball.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +15 (from 33 votes)
        • Anonymous

          He spelled candlejack wrong, so if you said it right you wo

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +65 (from 67 votes)
        • Herp Derp

          sir i lol’ed reading ur comment now i have to quikly catch my victim before they escape. his laptop has very clear resolution

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +30 (from 30 votes)
        • Person

          You guys we all know that if you say Candlejack’s name we won’t actua

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +11 (from 11 votes)
        • Person

          lly disappear. Dammit I submitted it too early.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +18 (from 20 votes)
      • Batman

        not to impress you or anything but im batman

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +158 (from 184 votes)
        • Brodyboy186

          If I say your name will you protect me? :D

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +24 (from 40 votes)
        • Anonymous

          I cant like the comment because my immatureness stops me from ruining 69…..

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +42 (from 44 votes)
        • Username, or no username, there is no name user

          CandleJack, come get me, if you dare, FYI those people who say CandleJack then their posts are there but unfinished, if something got you then you post wouldn’t get po

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +19 (from 29 votes)
        • http://hi.hiIamHIgh.hinet hi

          No its more like this
          I’M BATMAN

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -12 (from 22 votes)
      • Marc

        *hears massive explosion* …

        probably just a cat…

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +183 (from 189 votes)
        • anonymous

          “Ill get you-”

          “Jesus Fluffy, do you ever shut it?”

          “…meow”

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +143 (from 149 votes)
        • MrSandman9151

          “Milkshakes, where are you going?”

          “To destroy all that is holy and good…

          I mean, meow.”

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +95 (from 99 votes)
        • CYANGHOST

          ha

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -9 (from 11 votes)
      • Emma

        Funnily enough, that’s one of the main reasons I got my cat! <3 They make very nice scape goats.

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +18 (from 20 votes)
      • Anonymous

        #confessionsofslender

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: -15 (from 15 votes)
      • booda

        I have a bunch of cat’s and hear crazy noises all the time, and i’m not convinced it’s tiger M, precius, or trever, or even tyson. those are all my cat’s, and I hear noises from the attic. The attic isn’t accesible exept for the closet. And the closet is always closed

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +7 (from 9 votes)
      • Anonymous

        Yea so do I, but I don’t have a cat…

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
        • The Squire’s Jester

          I suggest to both of you to A. get out of the house NOW or B. get eaten/killed by whatever is in your house.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
    • Anonymous

      If a was in my house my cat would kill it to get rid of competition

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +69 (from 73 votes)
      • inxtcy

        Totally agree, ESPECIALLY with 33!

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +15 (from 15 votes)
        • a person

          29. made me laugh also y does every cat i haz nvr makes a hair ball?

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -12 (from 18 votes)
        • Anonymous

          Same hear bro dolls are f.u. Man

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +10 (from 12 votes)
        • BlackjestaTM

          Tru dat I hate those little fuckers

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +1 (from 9 votes)
        • Anonymous

          Never trust a doll is all I can say guys, ever

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +18 (from 20 votes)
        • Zoe

          yeah, i mean, have any of you guys seen coraline, that movie prolly would have made a high rated creepypasta. it certainly freaked me the fuck out.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +14 (from 14 votes)
    • She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named

      *explosion* Meh, it was probably just the cat.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +32 (from 44 votes)
      • The One In The Corner

        23. If you like to plan ahead and have some money, buy your auntie and uncle a house in Bel-Air. Nothing can harm you there no matter how scared your mother is.

        definitely tops my list here as funniest thing i read in this guide :)

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +18 (from 20 votes)
        • Happybeans

          *House implodes*
          Me: “FLUFFY! DID YOU EAT BEANS?”
          Fluffy: “meow”

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +27 (from 33 votes)
    • vanjaeger

      My favorite was 20. If you need to sign it in blood, you do not need to sign it. All mainstream governing bodies will accept contracts signed in ink, bear this in mind if offered deals that seem too good to be true.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +15 (from 15 votes)
    • http://trolololololololololol The CupcakeCat

      “you can never escape me….. I will—-”
      “That was probably just the cat.”
      “Meow?”

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +11 (from 17 votes)
    • Anonymous

      If you do that, you could die! You stupid whore!

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: -16 (from 18 votes)
    • ashley

      noooooooooooooooooooo! dont say candle jack. hell drive you insane and then kill you. if you read the story youll know what im talking about! dont say i

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +6 (from 6 votes)
      • Cece

        Are you serious? It’s just a fucking story. I feel sorry for the idiots who actually believe things like this, and plus, it was meant to be a joke.

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: -9 (from 13 votes)
        • MyNameIsntEvenCandleJackOrAnything

          Wow, I’m sorry my story offends you so much.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +4 (from 4 votes)
    • levi

      How do i send you guys an email

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: -5 (from 5 votes)
  • ChineseDisease

    First.

    These are words to live by.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -299 (from 363 votes)
    • Lenon

      I have never seen a comment so downvoted

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +116 (from 126 votes)
      • Anonymous

        Be afraid. It draws more negative power by the day!

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +26 (from 36 votes)
      • Dr.D

        thaaaat’s right! “First” is the word of hell. never use it. IT WILL SUMMON JEFF!!!

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: -16 (from 26 votes)
      • Zoe

        keep in mind, it did somehow get fifty up votes, witch is more than you can say for some of these comments.

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +8 (from 14 votes)
        • Wut?

          No, it got 25 up votes.
          From the people that liked his devilish “first”.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +3 (from 11 votes)
      • Haha

        And i downvoted just to see it get more downvoted. Hey, don’t go partying without me!

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: -5 (from 19 votes)
  • First!

    First!!! haha such a noob
    anyway nice pasta. pretty funny, not quite creepythough. liked the references

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -190 (from 222 votes)
    • AliLa

      No, really?

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +11 (from 17 votes)
    • Lemon Grab

      No! It’s so creepy!
      Its a survival guide ._.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +4 (from 12 votes)
  • Lenore

    Number 2 so true.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -34 (from 78 votes)
    • Him

      so true

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +9 (from 13 votes)
      • Anonymous

        Why are these guys being down voted. Hey by the way, potatoes rule!

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +13 (from 45 votes)
        • Anonymous

          Potatoes RULE!!! XD

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -2 (from 16 votes)
        • Potato

          I agree.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +10 (from 14 votes)
        • yet-another-guy-who-must-not-be-named-i-dont-even-know-anymore

          GIVE ME POTATOES GODDAMNIT!!! THEY MUST BE WARM BECAUSE POTATOES ARE BEST WHEN EATEN WHILE WARM

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +7 (from 13 votes)
  • Red Raider

    just kidding i loved it

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +34 (from 74 votes)
  • Red Raider

    a lot of allusions in there too

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -9 (from 53 votes)
  • Mister Stain

    First.
    This is my favorite pasta.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -73 (from 97 votes)
    • Anonymus

      Mine too!

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +12 (from 20 votes)
      • Inexorable fox

        I liked the one where you throw the cat’s hairball.

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: -4 (from 30 votes)
        • CakeFace

          im think the writer meant throw ur cat, not its hairball

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +22 (from 26 votes)
      • Anonymous

        You little hair ball nvr doe dat

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: -3 (from 15 votes)
    • WolfInTheShadows

      Why are you being downvoted? I totally agree but the Internet story, The Girl Holding The Orange (or whatever…) was the best :3

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +1 (from 11 votes)
  • Anonymous

    Oh man, this is good.

    Someone mind listing all the creepypastas referenced? I recognize a few of them.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +76 (from 78 votes)
    • Anonymous

      6. Is from “The Old lady

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: -6 (from 14 votes)
      • no

        you tried
        but no

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: -5 (from 11 votes)
    • Anonymous

      I recognised most of those creepy pastas but not all

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • Simon

    FIRST!

    This one is actually funny :)

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -56 (from 78 votes)
  • SmokyMushroom

    The doll thing and Bel Air cracked me up slightly. Not a bad pasta, but not creepy, either. Still, entertaining. Would eat again.

    7/10

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +61 (from 75 votes)
    • SomethingSecretive

      That’s why it’s a Parodypasta.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +19 (from 25 votes)
  • Anonymous

    First! And…WHO WAS DOUCHE WITH PHONE!!!???

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -37 (from 81 votes)
    • I Consist Entirely of Lego Bricks.

      I have a feeling the mods are intentionally pushing you lot back.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +4 (from 4 votes)
  • N.P.C.C.

    lol at # 9!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -10 (from 18 votes)
  • L

    Wow. I like this. Especially since I know what pastas most of these are referring to.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +24 (from 28 votes)
    • Light

      True True

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +1 (from 9 votes)
      • Riku

        Did any of the referenced pastas involve… aaapppplleeesssss????

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: -1 (from 5 votes)
  • http://dirjel.deviantart.com Dirjel

    Whew, I feel much safer now. Thank you, Pasta Writer!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +29 (from 35 votes)
    • Dria and Enrique

      Now I know how to stay alive with the knowledge of creepypastas!

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +3 (from 9 votes)
  • Red Raider

    An admin has to give a warning before banning someone, and i recieved no warning. Also there are no rules of conduct so you can not ban someone from the cbox. I just want to talk to my friends and bam, i’m banned because there was a moderator on and 2 people were spamming, and the moderator banned everyone. Not fair.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -14 (from 36 votes)
    • grister

      I’m coming you may remember me.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +5 (from 9 votes)
  • Lollerskates

    I lold

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -4 (from 14 votes)
  • Sam

    Eh. It was alright :/

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -26 (from 34 votes)
  • amtcj

    eh… I dunno… A few of the ones further down the list were witty.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -18 (from 22 votes)
  • Anonymous

    Great post. Epic bread.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +13 (from 25 votes)
  • http://hortonisawho.me Aviar

    Awesome bread.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -10 (from 20 votes)
    • creepy girl

      Bread? Its pasta, thanks.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +13 (from 17 votes)
  • Anonymous

    Marvelous. Love the callbacks to old pastas.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +4 (from 20 votes)
  • Anonymous

    Also, important rule to never forget; If someone is hemorrhaging massively on a specific day, that causes and elevator to be filled, people to people to slip and be grossed out, sharks to bitten everybody, vampires to chase said person (all of the vampires ever), and it gets a boy and a dog, the best thing to do is to send yourself into space.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +43 (from 55 votes)
  • Commissar Tzeentch

    You should have also mentioned that common sense is your most important tool and i will save your life.

    If you have it that is.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +44 (from 46 votes)
  • Peterdivine

    But notice: nothing about Slenderman.

    Because nothing, but nothing, can stop Slenderman, and all comments to the contrary are lies made of the hopes of doomed fools.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +69 (from 73 votes)
    • LordFartMaster

      Maybe if you Fart

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +10 (from 12 votes)
      • Logic for Dummies

        Slenderman has no nose, therefore he can’t smell it. Sorry to rain on your parade, but we’re doomed. :)

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +2 (from 4 votes)
    • i agree

      i was expecting something abt the operator symbol

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)
    • http://g-mail don’t trust the 4th wall

      Really man really!

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: -1 (from 3 votes)
    • themicah7777

      actualy just offer to be his friend like i did and he wont harm you. but remember he can pear into your soul and know if your sincear about it. if your not then he will just kill you as if you never offered in the first place.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: -1 (from 5 votes)
      • Boo

        Oh, I’m very friendly, it’ll be fine.

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +1 (from 3 votes)
    • Fuminori

      Nope, Rule 9, he can slenderman all up and down your dead corpse and 0 cares would be given

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +1 (from 3 votes)
  • Stormbringer

    Red Raider, is that why the chat box doesn’t appear for me anymore. WTF, I wasn’t even talking, I left myself logged in and was watching a movie in the living room. :(

    The guide has some amusing bits, but I’d say if you want to survive, go investigate everything. Keep a fully automatic weapon, a towel and a maglite on you. And don’t panic, ever.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +9 (from 17 votes)
    • Anonymous

      Always keep that trusty towel, especially when you’re hitchhiking.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +13 (from 15 votes)
      • psychosmiley

        always know where your towel is

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +11 (from 13 votes)
        • http://www.creepypasta.com Blah blah blah

          Why do you need a towel

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -10 (from 12 votes)
        • Herp Derp

          its a referance to hitchhikers guide to the galaxy

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +5 (from 11 votes)

This website contains fictional content that may be too scary for younger readers. Please verify that you are either at least 18 years of age or have parental permission before proceeding.