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Why Exercise is Bad For You

May 13, 2013 at 12:00 AM
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It all started when I got fat.
I had been wanting to lose weight for a while, but being a not-exactly-starving-starving artist, I didn’t have the money to join a gym or buy equipment of my own. Yeah I could have gone running, but who want’s to do that? Not me! Never could run as a kid so I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to as an adult.
That was when I decided to check out Craigslist to see if there was any free equipment that wasn’t too ancient. I didn’t want to end up with one of those “shake the fat away” machines. You know, the one with the belt? Yeah. No thanks.
Anyway, I was lucky enough to find an elliptical that someone was giving away for free! What luck! Right? From what I saw in the pictures it looked to be a few years old. One of the speakers on it was busted but I didn’t have an MP3 player to hook into it anyway. I decided to give the “seller” a call.
After talking on the phone to a woman named Jeanette, a time was set for me to go to her home and pick up the elliptical. She sounded strangely relieved to be getting rid of the equipment but I was too excited to be getting it for free that it really didn’t phase me at the time.
So, that Friday, I borrowed my dad’s truck and some rope and headed out to get my new treasure. On the way I thought of how in a few short weeks I would be on my way to a swimsuit season bod. I already had my mind set that I would buy a cute bikini.
After driving for around a half hour, flipping a couple u-ees and stopping at stop signs long enough to be honked at, I made it to Jeanette’s. Surprisingly, she was waiting outside. I thought it was a little odd, but again, I didn’t pay much attention.
Jeanette looked to be in her mid fifties and about 5ft 6in. Her skin was a bit pale and she had dark circles under her eyes. Her hair was a little unkempt and it sort of looked as if she had just then thrown on whatever clothes she could find.
“Hi! Jeanette?” I held out my hand to shake hers.
“Yes, hello.” She said quietly.
Her handshake was soft and reserved, and she had a bit of a worried look in her eye. “Please come in.”
I followed her into the house and then into the living room. There it stood in all it’s free glory.
“Niiice.” I said, eying up the elliptical.
“Okay then. Would you like me to help you out with it?” She asked quickly and nervously.
“Oh, uh, yeah sure thanks.” I was a little surprised that she hadn’t offered any kind of reason why she would be getting rid of the machine for free, so I asked.
“Oh.” She said nervously. “It just takes up too much space and I don’t really need the money. I can’t see getting much for it anyway.”
She kind of half smiled and began to try and lift the back end of the machine. I rushed over to assist.
After a few minutes and a lot of heave hoeing we eventually got the elliptical into the bed of the truck. I thanked her once again and headed home.

The machine sat in the bed of the truck until my boyfriend made it over to my apartment. It took a few tries and some remembering of high school geometry but we successfully got it through the door and into the living room. I looked it over and, like I saw in the pictures online, the only thing wrong with it was the one broken speaker. Other than that it was absolutely perfect! Here I come beach body!
I jumped on and started pressing buttons. “Oh ok! This one tracks your heartbeat, this one shows how many calories you burn…”
My boyfriend laughed at me and told me I looked like a kid at Christmas. After a little while, he left for work and I was left to play with my new toy. I had apparently worked out a little too hard because by 9:00 pm I was pooped and collapsed on my bed. The next thing I remember was waking up to a strange noise.
In a daze, my brain tried it’s damnedest to figure out what the sound was. Was the faucet on? Was it raining outside? I opened one eye and looked at my window. I could see the moon. No clouds.
The more I came out of my slumber, the clearer the whooshing sound got, and I realized what it was. The elliptical.
“Uhhgggg! John what the hell!? I am trying to sleep!” I said, assuming my boyfriend had come back over and decided to fool around on the machine.
The whirring didn’t stop. “JOHN!” I yelled.
It still didn’t stop.
I decided, groggily, to get up and throw something at him. JOH…” I stopped mid name as I turned the corner into the living room.
No one was there. The machine wasn’t moving at all and the whirring had stopped.
“John?” I said quietly and confused.
No one answered.
I decided it must have been some kind of goofy dream. I went to my front door to make sure the lock was still on, it was, and then went back into my room. The rest of the night was quiet.

The next morning I woke up with the sun on my face. I instantly remembered the night before but decided to shrug it off. I stood up and moaned. I was so sore but I needed to keep a tight exercise schedule if I wanted buns of steel by May.
I changed out of my pajamas and into my workout clothes, blasted some music and hopped on the machine.
As I went to press the button to turn on the machine, I noticed that there were steps logged in the system. I knew I had cleared it out the night before and shut it down. I figured it was probably a glitch; one of the reasons it was free. But in the back of my mind I still held onto what had happened the night before.
After my workout I once again cleared the screen and turned off the machine. I went into the bathroom and was about to step into the shower when I, again, heard the familiar whooshing sound.
In a towel, I ran into the living room and came around the corner just in time to see the machine moving. I froze. “What the hell did I just see!?” I thought to myself.
I gathered my courage and walked toward the machine. It was still.
I looked at the screen and it was lit up with a log of 10 steps. I couldn’t believe what I was witnessing. Was there some kind of speed setting or something? I checked the screen, still in my towel, and tried to find anything that would be an auto setting. As I figured, there was no setting other than resistance. No speed. It was all manually powered.
I turned the machine off, and a bit shaken, went back into the bathroom and took my shower.

Later that evening, my boyfriend, John, came over after work. We had a nice meal and decided to sit down in the living room and watch a movie. I believe it was called “The Shrine”. As I recall it was a pretty freaky movie, but that could be because I was on edge all evening from my mishap with the machine earlier that day.
As we sat, cuddled up on the couch, I started to smell something. I kept sniffing to the point my boyfriend asked if I needed a tissue. I said no, of course, and told him I smelled something. He sniffed to and made a face.
“Jeeze! I know you have been working out and that is great but you really need to take showers afterword.” John laughed.
“It isn’t me!” I paused the movie.
“Well it isn’t me either!” John said.
I sniffed around the couch. It didn’t seem to be coming from that area so I got up and as Toucan Sam would say, I followed my nose. The stench brought me to the elliptical.
“What the hell?” I said softly.
“What is it?” John said from across the room.
“It is coming from the elliptical!” I said.
Just as fast as the smell came on, it was gone. I sniffed and sniffed and couldn’t find a trace. The incident from earlier and this phantom smell got me to thinking of Jeanette. She seemed so shifty. Maybe there was another reason she wanted to get this cursed gym equipment out of her house.

The next day I decided to pay an unexpected visit to Jeanette. She answered the door with a smile. She looked well rested and much less frazzled than before. As soon as she saw me, however, the happy, rested look turned into a look of worry. “Oh, hi. Can I help you?”
“Hello again,” I said smiling politely, “I was just wondering if you had a moment. I just have a couple of questions about the machine that I picked up the other day. May I come in?”
She hesitated, then reluctantly welcomed me in. “Is the machine not working? If not just take it to the junkyard. I don’t want it back.” She said quickly.
“Oh no no no.” I said, still trying to be as polite as possible, “It isn’t that at all.”
The worried look on her face turned to dread and a knot began to form in my stomach. Something wasn’t right. “Would you mind if we sit for just a moment. I really don’t mean to intrude.”
Jeanette seemed to partially snap out of her funk and said, “Of course! Let’s sit in the dining room. I’ll put on a pot of tea.”
She showed me into the dining room and told me to have a seat while she put the tea on. I sat for a few moments and then my attention was grabbed by a photo on the wall. It was Jeanette and a man about the same age. I assumed it was her husband.
A few minutes later, Jeanette shuffled into the dining room with two cups of hot tea. “Good to have on a cold day like this.” She said, trying to hide her nervousness.
I smiled and took a sip. “Is that your husband?”
It almost seemed like she jumped at the question. “I’m sorry?”
I pointed to the photo on the wall. “Oh! Oh Yes. Sadly, he passed away a few months ago.” She began to look even more nervous.
“Oh, I am so sorry to hear that.” I said, trying my best to look sympathetic. “How did he pass, if you don’t mind me asking.”
She closed her eyes, I thought she was going to start crying. I was about to say never mind when she let out a sigh. “Well,” she said. “He had gained some weight and the doctor said it would be a good idea to start getting some exercise into his schedule. You see his weight was effecting his blood pressure.” She sighed again and paused for a moment.
“He actually had a heart attack and died while on that elliptical.”
I dropped my tea.

Credit To – J.L. Kempen

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Frosted Mini Fears

May 12, 2013 at 12:00 AM
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Today’s pasta is actually a collection of super-short video pastas from the Frosted Mini Fears channel on YouTube. If the embeds are not displaying for you (a known issue for people on some types of phones), I have included links to each video below their embeds – click said links to go directly to the video pasta’s page on YouTube.


The Age of Information


The Snipe Hunt


Window (Recut)


Window (POV)


The Strange Woman


Reffugio Lake


Locks


Signal Unknown

Credit: Frosted Mini Fears

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Hittin’ The Road

May 11, 2013 at 12:00 AM
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This is the third installment in the Tower of Sorrow series.
Part One: Yon Black Edifice Hath Called Me
Part Two: First Steps
Part Three: Tight Spaces
Part Four: The Driver

-

I lie in the now open trunk, peering up at the dark figure standing over me. He drops his smile and sighs heavily, “Here, let me help you.” He reaches his hand out to me and I cringe back into the trunk. His skin is a sickly grey and his fingers are long and gnarled.

“Seriously guy?” he huffs.

“F-fu-fuck you,” I mutter just above a whisper.

“I hate this fucking job,” he grumbles, snapping his fingers.

Before I even have the chance to process what he’s just said, I’m standing on the road next to him. He reaches out his ugly hands and starts brushing off my clothes. “There now,” his grin returns, “much better, and no worse for the wear I suppose.”

“How did you – ,“ he shoots up his hand and waves a finger lazily at me.

“There will be plenty of time for questions. As for right now, I have a job to do and we need to get going. There are some very impatient individuals awaiting your arrival.” With a wave of his hand the passenger side door swings open.

“No! Not just no, but fuck no!” I growl. “I’m not going anywhere near that rusty hunk of shit until I get some answers. Who are you? How did I get here? Who’s waiting for me?” I can feel my hands curling into fists as my anger rises to overtake my fear.

“Look, we don’t fucking have time for this okay? There are things in this world and others that your feeble human mind just couldn’t possibly understand. Some of those vile things are right on our fucking heels. We have to go now! Just trust me!”

“Why in God’s name would I trust YOU? For all I know you’re some kind of psychotic serial killer, or some shit!”

He barks laughter, “God? Really? What exactly do you think you know about God? That motherf-” His sentence is cut off by an impossibly loud clap of thunder. It shakes the ground and causes my ears to ring. Looking up, I see a long shimmering blue line zig-zagging its way across the night sky. As I watch it begins to expand outward, exposing an orange and yellow light. In the distance I can hear inhuman shrieking and growling. My gaze is broken when I feel a hand squeezing my shoulder. I look back to the dark figure only to see him standing exactly where he was before. I whirl around and am face to face with the rotting corpse of a woman. The top left portion of her head is missing; her left eye hangs limply on her cheek as the socket that once contained it is no more. Her skin is pale and patches of it hang off of her like peeling paint. Violently her head snaps one hundred and eighty degrees and she is flung away from me into the desert. I look back to see my kidnapper’s hand raised and upturned with a violent smirk covering his face.

“CAR! NOW!” the figure bellows. This time there is no hesitation. I break into a mad dash and slam the car door behind me. The figure ducks into the car throws it in drive and peels out onto the highway. Screeching down the road he swerves this way and that to avoid even more of the ghastly walking corpses that are trying to overtake the vehicle. In the rear view mirror I can see swarms of black winged creatures pouring out of the now enormous hole in the sky. They claw, bite, and attack each other trying to get into our world. Their bright green eyes pierce the night sky as they swoop, dive, and tumble towards us.

“What the fuck?!” I shout over the screaming engine of the car.

“You just had to say His fucking name, didn’t you?! Fucking humans!” he yells, smashing his fists on the steering wheel.

Credit To: J. Brown

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Mary Had a Little Lamb

May 10, 2013 at 12:00 AM
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“It’s not too bad, is it, sweetie?”

Humbly dressed and brown haired, Wilbert Snow smiled at his daughter, and Mary gently smiled back from the living room. Mary’s father, Wilbert, was searching for a home set on a few acres of land that he could potentially build a vegetable garden on, and after a tedious hunt, he found one that would hopefully please Mary’s taste. It was a dreary journey for both Mary and her father. Mary’s father had his own difficult times, but he made sure that Mary would always have her mind on something joyous and kind. When Mary’s mother passed away a few years ago, she was devastated. Since Mary’s mother passed away from an unknown illness in their old house, Mary’s father decided it would be best for both of them to leave and move to a new home. A new garden with lots of land for Mary to play in, and a new place to start fresh memories is what Wilbert wanted. It would definitely take both of them some time to get used to Flyde. The nearest village, Hambleton, was only a few miles away.

“Dad, this house seems so old. Why here?” Mary scoffed. Mary’s father glared at her from the doorway with packed boxes in both hands. “Are you going to complain, or are you going to help your dad get stuff out of the car?” Mary’s father returned. Mary shrugged and proceeded to help unpack the boxes. She didn’t really like the thought of moving to a place where houses weren’t present for miles, nor did she like the thought of living on a big piece of land partially surrounded by forests. The only thing she did like had nothing to do with the house, but that summer was just beginning. Mary had just finished her second year in high school, and she couldn’t wait to relax at home. She was longing to see her friends that she’d left behind when she moved out of her previous home. She only ever had a few friends, but they were true friends.

Mary peaked out of the window in an attempt to see why her father was taking so long to bring in more boxes and saw him talking to a woman. Mary stepped out the front door and onto the porch to observe her father closely. “Hey, Mary, come say ‘hi’ to your aunt Tori for a second.” said Mary’s father. Mary was quite shy, even if it was family she was going to greet. “Oh, wow! You are just so gorgeous, aren’t you?” Mary blushed at her aunt’s kind remark. Mary didn’t really see herself as pretty, although; she did appreciate her aunt’s compliment. Without a doubt, Mary was quite lovely. Curly orange locks of hair fixed around her face, and she was undeniably smart for her young age. Coping with a family death kind of puts a sense of responsibility on the people who experience the loss, and that’s most likely how Mary carried through such difficult times.

“So, aren’t you just loving the new house, Mary?” Tori inquired.

Mary was hesitant to give an honest opinion of how she really felt about the old, two-story Victorian- style home. “Um, well…I think it’s pretty, but it might take some getting used to.”

Her father let out a soft chuckle. It was great to see her father happy again. He had spent all his savings on this house; the least Mary could do was be grateful. “You are just so clever, aren’t you? Now, you can run along and explore. I’ll help your daddy put away the rest of the boxes.”

Mary felt relieved that she could take a break from unloading what seemed like a thousand boxes. Exploring wasn’t really on Mary’s mind, but she figured it would be good to know where she could plant that apple tree she had been wanting to plant ever since she was little. She kissed her aunt, hugged her father, and set off to roam her new surroundings.

The land was mainly flat with a few hills sparse in between. Medium stalks of wheat occupied most of the plains; although, the lush white flowers were visible from a great distance away. There were small clusters of trees that were subtly separated by a few hundred meters or so. The closest patch of trees to the home was standing on top of a small hill. It wasn’t too far from the home, but far enough that Mary could feel safe in the event that a tornado struck. She hated the thought of a tree falling on top of the house. Other than that, she loved trees. In fact, this patch of trees would be perfect for her to plant her apple tree in. Making her way up the steep slope, Mary noticed the silence and serenity as she stared up at the aged trees. The wind blew softly, revealing a rustle of the leaves above, and the smoky smell of moss that swayed from the branches.

She made it to the top of the slope, turned to face the field she traveled, and saw her aunt and father still unloading boxes from her father’s car in the distance. The house was closer than she had originally thought. With the sun at the highest point in the sky, Mary wanted to take advantage of the light and search the woods for a nice planting spot. She didn’t want her father to find out about her apple tree; she wanted to make the best apple pie for her father. Mary made her way between the porous-barked trees and into a small area. It could have been the perfect place to plant a tree, but there was hardly any sunlight passing through the tangled branches above. Mary steered around searching for a substantial spot to plant her apple tree, and she began to notice oddities in the environment.

Mary stepped back to examine the wall of trees that stood around her. It was quiet. There wasn’t any chirping of birds, any buzzing of bugs, no flowing of air, and no sound of any kind. It was a different kind of silent. “I’d better get home.” She thought to herself. She worried about how her father was feeling. “Maybe he thinks I got lost and called the authorities to come find me.” With this in mind, she walked back the way she came from. As she brushed through the path she created earlier, she couldn’t help notice a subtle interruption in her mind. She peered through the gloomy darkness, but could not see anything other than trees and shade. Only a soft touch of light existed here. Even though she could not see anything, she felt like someone was there. She hadn’t felt this feeling in a long time, not since her mother passed away.

She hastened her way out of the woods, down the hill, through the fields and to the house. It was dark out. Mary wondered how long she had actually been in those woods, and why she hadn’t noticed the time. She banged on the back door afraid to look behind her. “You’re finally home from your adventure? You had me a little worried.” Mary’s father opened the door and patted Mary on the head. Mary didn’t know how to reply. Her mind was still being interrupted by an odd feeling. With her father at the doorway, she gained the courage to look back at the woods and noticed nothing but a perilous view of the land she traveled. She stepped inside, and her father closed the door behind her. As soon as he closed the door, the strange feeling went away; she felt safe. She couldn’t wait to go to bed after such an exhausting day. She had noticed that everything was unpacked minus a few boxes of utensils in the kitchen. “Dad, can you show me which room is mine?” Mary requested. Mary’s father was excited to show her the new room he had Mary’s aunt decorate for her. “Oh, Dad, I love it!” Mary gave her father a big hug. It had various shades of nature painted throughout the room, and a bed with lace comforters centered the space evenly. The walls were painted a neutral olive color; her favorite color. The thing Mary really liked about the room, though, was that it was on the second floor. She had always wanted to live in a two-story home ever since she was a little girl. “Good night, Dad.” “Sweet dreams, Mary.” The two exchanged hugs and Mary’s father left the room. With the lights out and moonlight shining in, Mary expected to feel uneasy, but she felt safe. It wasn’t long before she fell asleep.

The next morning, Mary woke up to bright sunbeams peeking through the sheer curtains. She could smell breakfast cooking and heard the laughter of her aunt and father from downstairs. Mary combed her hair, put on a clean, simple dress, and went down to the kitchen. “Look who’s finally up. You got a good beauty sleep in?” Mary’s father teased. “Dad, you know sleep just makes your face all puffy and unflattering.” Mary’s aunt chuckled and prepared a plate for Mary. “Well, Mary, I’m leaving back to the States tomorrow night, so I want us to do something together before I go, okay?” Mary’s aunt placed Mary’s plate of food on the dining table and slipped her twenty pounds. “Happy Birthday, Mary.” Mary had forgotten it was her birthday and couldn’t believe she was turning 16. She wanted to go into town, but she didn’t think her father would approve. Quickly eating her breakfast, Mary slipped the money into one of the front pockets of her sundress.

“Dad, can I please go into town with aunt Tori, please?” Mary begged.

“Now, you know I don’t want you going into town getting influenced by those city kids.”

“But, Dad, please? Tori will make sure I’m only looking around. I’ll be good.” Mary smiled. Her father returned the smile. “Oh, fine. You’d better behave yourself, okay? And another thing, I need you to do me a small favor.” “Dad, on my birthday?” Mary whined. “Yes. It’s not anything tedious. I just need you and your aunt to get some of those flowers from the back and bring them to me; I want to make your cake look special.”

“Okay, Dad. I like how you make it a surprise.” Mary stated facetiously.

Mary’s aunt giggled as they made their way outside. Walking through the short stalks of wheat and to the lush green grass, Mary began to ask Tori a few questions. “Tori, how come my dad picked this place of all places?”

“Well, you see, the price was very low, and for the size of the land, it was a price your father couldn’t ignore.”

“But what about school and stuff? How is that going to go? Like, does a bus come here?” Mary’s aunt laughed. “No, girl, I was told by the land owner that buses stopped driving through this area around the time your mother moved away from here with your father.”

“Wait. So my mom lived in that house?”

“Yep; she grew up there, but when she found out about her pregnancy, she couldn’t bare facing her parents with the news. She was too young to have a child in her parent’s eyes, so she left with your dad to America. She told me all about it.”

“Wow. That’s why Dad came here. It was probably because she had good memories here before she got the sickness when we lived in the city.” Mary began to remember her mother’s humble smile and soft rosy cheeks.

Mary’s aunt didn’t want Mary to feel sad about her mother, so she quickly changed the subject. “I wonder how many flowers your dad wants.”

They began picking flowers and chattered the details of city life until Mary noticed something in the corner of her eye. She looked up the hill and in the clear daylight stood a baby sheep atop the crest. “Tori look, it’s a lamb!” Mary shouted with excitement. “Oh my, isn’t it cute?!” Mary’s aunt replied.

Mary ran towards the top of the hill to greet the baby sheep. “Mary, don’t run after it; you’ll scare it off.” To no avail, the lamb walked towards Mary. Mary was taken aback since she considered the logic that her aunt was instilling in her. Mary stopped in her tracks and watched the little lamb prance its way down the hill. The little lamb stopped a few feet away from Mary and looked as if she was familiarizing herself with Mary’s scent. Mary began to slowly walk towards the lamb with her hand out. She knew that animals had to get familiar with scents. With the lamb only inches away, she placed her hand on its snout and caressed gently. The lamb scooted in closer. It liked the attention.

“It looks like a girl, Mary. Her mom might be looking for her and you don’t want to be around for that.” Mary’s aunt said jokingly.

“Can we bring her back and introduce her to my dad?”

“Mary, you know your dad isn’t very fond of animals. He won’t approve of it being near the house.”

“Okay, fine. Let me tell her goodbye.” Mary demanded.

Mary turned to the little lamb and said, “Don’t worry, okay? I’ll come back here soon.” She then smiled and walked toward the house. Mary couldn’t help to look back at her new found friend. She wanted to see where it was going, so she turned around and noticed the baby sheep was still standing where she had left it.

Mary’s aunt decided to take Mary’s father’s car because she was going to need the gas left in her own vehicle to drive to the airport the next day. It was about a ten minute drive before she saw the village of Hambleton, Lancashire. The village wasn’t as much of a city life as her old home in the United States, but it definitely had more life than the new place she called home. There were houses with neatly trimmed lawns and towns’ people walking the sidewalks in front of the stores. They had stores like any other well-developed town had. Mary and her aunt went for decorations to spruce up her room a bit more. Mary’s aunt insisted that Mary save her money and let her do the spending. It was Mary’s birthday after all. Tori was a pretty laid back aunt and let Mary wander off into the store to look for things that she liked.

With a small shopping basket in hand, Mary toured around the shop searching for seat cushions that would fit in nice with the theme of her bedroom. Dabbling the comforters and bed sets, she spotted a boy walking her way. “Hello, Madam, is there anything in particular you’re looking for?” A young boy in his late teens approached Mary in what appeared to be the shop uniform. His name tag read “Daryl”.

“Um, well…I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for?” replied Mary timidly.

“I can certainly help you with your search. Do you have a certain colour you like? We’ve got bed sheets, comforters, pillows, and curtains of all sorts!”

Mary couldn’t help but blush at Daryl’s enthusiasm. “I would like to know if you sell these pillows separate from the bed set.” Mary asked while picking up a mousse colored pillow trimmed with lace.

“I’m sorry; Madam, but we only sell that with the complete set.”

Mary frowned slightly and Daryl saw her dismay. He was charmed by her chocolate-hazel eyes and red hair. “I know that it would be expensive to purchase it this way, but I know of a place a few shoppes down that has almost the same design and specialises in pillows specifically.”

Mary chuckled at the thought of a store that only sold pillows, but it sounded like a great place to get exactly what she wanted. “That sounds great! I’m gonna let my aunt know. Which way is it?”

“I could show you. I’m almost off of my shift, and plus, I need to get a few pillows for my mum.”

Mary was nearly embarrassed on how straight-forward Daryl was being. It was quite obvious he liked her. Mary was not used to this kind of attention, so she reacted how any other girl would act; she ignored him most of the time. She didn’t want to be shy, but it was in her nature, especially around boys. She planned on leaving to the pillow store with only her aunt, but as soon as they stepped foot out of the shop’s exit, Daryl came running out. “You two ladies almost left without me.” He said with a chuckle.

“Who is this young man, Mary?” Mary’s aunt questioned.

“Tori, this is the guy that told me where the pillow store was, and Daryl, this is my awesome aunt. You can call her Tori.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Tori. Shall we see this shoppe? It’s just up ahead.”

Both Mary and Tori snickered at Daryl’s loudness. He was a very enthusiastic teenager. They arrived at the pillow shop a few moments later and noticed it was closed for the day. Mary’s heart sank. She wanted to go in and find the mousse colored pillow that would have gone great with the olive walls she had in her room. “Well, we can always come back first thing tomorrow before I leave, Mary.” Suggested Mary’s aunt. Mary nodded with agreement and began to walk away. Something in the window caught her eye. It was a pillow that was split into the two solid colors: Sky blue and green. It had an apple tree in the center that was fully blooming with apples. “I have to come back, Tori. You mean it?”

“Of course I mean it. We’ll come back here tomorrow and hopefully we’ll have Daryl here to give us a tour of the shop.” Mary’s aunt winked at Mary. Mary hid her face with embarrassment. Mary and her aunt said their goodbyes to Daryl and made plans on when to meet the next afternoon. Daryl went in for a hug, but Mary quickly put out her hand for a polite handshake. She wasn’t used to that kind of culture. That’s how the towns’ people greeted and departed from each other here. Everyone was so friendly. With that, Mary and her aunt got into the car in front of the shopping strip and drove home.

Once they arrived to the house, Mary dashed inside to put away the few antique findings in her room. She was placing Chinese-inspired tea pots on her windowsill while admiring the clear sky. It was getting dark and only a few stars were beginning to reveal themselves. She looked down to notice the little lamb was still standing where she had left it. Mary grabbed a coat and headed for the field. She walked up to the little lamb and sat beside her. “See. I told you I would be back. Sorry it took so long, though.”

The lamb laid next to her and released a small sigh. “I know I took so long, but there was this boy, and he was just so charming. He gave me this feeling that I’ve never felt before.” Mary laid down to look up at the sky fading to an indigo. She spoke of her day to the little lamb and how she had moved here. She caressed the lamb’s soft wool and began to feel sleepy. The stars were plenty now.

“Mary!” yelled her father. Mary woke up on the couch to her father cursing up a storm. “Why in the hell were you sleeping outside?!”

Mary looked around to notice that it was daylight. “I didn’t sleep outside, Dad, chill out.”

“Chill out? You were outside, in the goddamn field with your fucking clothes off! How the fuck do you want me to react, Mary?!”

“What are you talking about?! What, in my right mind, would I be doing outside naked, huh?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe having sex with that boy from in town! I knew I shouldn’t have let you go. You’re already turning into a town slut.”

“Dad, I didn’t do that, and you know it!”

Mary let out a loud cry. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing from her father. She could see her aunt in the background with a worried look on her face.

“Now, Wilbert, you can’t say she was doing that with that boy. You didn’t see her doing that did you?” Mary’s aunt defended. She had been confused as to why Mary was in the field with no clothes, but she knew that Mary wouldn’t have had sex; she was too timid and very respectful to her father. “I have to leave today, but I will not leave you two like this. I will be damned if what’s left of my family gets torn apart by an accident.” Mary’s aunt sat on the couch beside Mary and wrapped her tighter in the covers.

Mary was shocked at the whole situation, and she wondered why she had fallen asleep outside. She knew she had clothes on when she went outside that night because it was cold. In fact, she even grabbed a coat on her way out. Mary’s aunt grabbed and hugged her all the way to the car. She promised Mary she’d take her back to the pillow shop.

“We’re going to go get that pillow you wanted so much, but I want you to avoid that Daryl boy if you see him, okay?”

Mary nodded her head. Everything that her father said to her was still racing through her mind. She didn’t even want to look at that boy, let alone talk to him again. They arrived to the shopping strip and nearly power walked to the pillow shop in an attempt to avoid Daryl. As they approached the entrance, Mary could see Daryl inside. He looked up and spotted her through the display window. He waved enthusiastically, but Mary didn’t return the gesture. Entering the store, Mary and her aunt went directly for the pillow with the apple tree art and immediately to the check-out counter. Mary glanced over her shoulder to check if he was following her, but he wasn’t. He just had a confused, but focused look on his face as he browsed the pillows.

“Hello, Madam; that will be 25 pounds.”

Mary had just enough, but Mary’s aunt quickly pulled out some money and paid for it. As the woman handed Mary the bag with her pillow inside, she dropped it. She bent down to pick it up.

“Oh, I got it, Mary.” It was Daryl.

Mary snatched her pillow away from him. “Go away! You are ruining everything.”

“What did I do?”

“My dad hates me because of you!”

Daryl stood there puzzled as Mary and her aunt walked out to the car. Mary had a guilty feeling for yelling at Daryl that loud in public, especially in a peaceful village like Hambleton. It couldn’t be changed, though. The drive home was quiet. Mary stared out the window and examined the breathless sky. A thick, gray haze spread over the horizon. The sun peeked through and revealed itself as only a slightly glowing spot. With the weather like this, it was sure to rain that night.

The drive seemed much longer than the last time, but she was home. She was quite sluggish from the ordeal with her father and Daryl, but she felt a little better now that she had the pillow she wanted. Making her way up the stairs, she heard the sound of rustling coming from her room. Scared that her dad was going through her things, she swung the door open. Mary’s pillow fell to the ground. She was in awe. Her room was destroyed. The walls cracked, curtains torn, cloths thrown from corner to corner, and there stood the little lamb in the center of the room. It was wearing one of Mary’s sundresses. Although the lamb destroyed her room, she had an idea of who was behind letting the animal in.

“Dad, why did you bring that animal in my room? I told you I did nothing wrong!” yelled Mary.

“What are you talking about? You know damn well I don’t like animals. You think I would let one in this house?!”

Mary took consideration of this, but still believed her father wanted to get some sort of revenge on her behavior. Mary took her father by the arm and pulled him towards her room.

“Look! Why did you put my dress on an animal? That’s gro…”

Mary couldn’t believe her eyes.

“Mary, what are you talking about? Are you trying to upset me again? You’ve done enough of that already.”

Mary’s father walked off, leaving Mary alone in confusion. Her room wasn’t destroyed, and the dress that the lamb wore was neatly placed on the bed. She didn’t know what to think anymore. She was relieved her room wasn’t destroyed, but worried about her mental health. With the smarts of most adults, she knew she could tell if she was going a bit mad, but that wasn’t the case at all. Maybe it’d been the rough day. Maybe she needed to get some rest. She turned on the night lamp and fell in bed. Her eyes got weary the more she grew tired, and eventually she could focus on sleep rather than the events that occurred earlier that day.

TAP~TAP!

Mary immediately opened her eyes and focused them at the window. She couldn’t see a silhouette, rain, hail, or bugs. Her heart began to race. TAP! The sound was a little louder this time. With all curiosity, she had to take a look outside. Pulling the curtains back quickly, nothing was there to surprise her. TAP! It was a tiny rock. Mary looked down and saw the cause of the noise. There was Daryl standing with a mousse colored pillow in one hand and a pebble in the other. Mary was relieved, yet confused at the same time. Mary opened her window and whispered to Daryl.

“What are you doing here? How do you know where I live?”

“I just saw you and your aunt leave in this direction, so I knew this was the only house closest to Hambleton for miles. I wanted to give you this pillow as an apology. You know, for not selling you the one from the bed set.”

Mary smiled. She couldn’t help herself from noticing his effortless charm. She debated on the thought of letting him in, but knew that was a bad idea. It would only confirm her father’s belief that she was with Daryl. “It’s okay if I can’t come in. I just really wanted to apologize. I can toss you the pillow if you know how to catch. I know how well you Americans are at catching with baseball and all.”

Mary was slightly offended, but took it as an insulting joke. She chuckled anyway.

“Well, thank you. I’ll catch it, but I don’t know if you’ll able to throw it this high, though.”

Daryl smiled. He was enamored by her sharpness. With Mary’s challenge accepted, he tossed the pillow toward her window and Mary caught it.

“Good night, Mary.”

“Night, Daryl.”

Daryl waved goodbye and Mary shut her window with a sense of accomplishment. Oddly, she didn’t feel quite right. She looked out the window to watch Daryl make his way out the backyard. The presence now interrupted her feelings. As she heard a vehicle drive away from the front yard, she looked up and into the distance. Against the purple sky were the dark hills that rolled along the surface of the earth. Peering into the horizon, she noticed a white figure standing on a hilltop. Her temples began to flutter. She knew the lamb had wanted to spend time with her. Maybe this was guilt she was feeling. Seeing the lamb earlier was only a figment of her imagination built up by frustration, right? Mary shook off the feeling and went back to bed.

Knock-Knock.

Mary woke to a soft knock at the door. It was her aunt Tori. She missed her flight and had to reschedule a new one for another time.

“Are you awake, Mary? I got you some orange juice.”

“Yep, I’m kinda awake.”

Mary’s aunt handed Mary a small coffee mug filled with orange juice. This was a good day already. It definitely was better than the day before. Mary sat up in her bed only to discover a small painting on her wall in the very corner. Small, but visible, the painting was slightly similar to Mary’s apple tree pillow, except the tree had no leaves.

“Tori, I think you forgot to paint the leaves.” Mary giggled.

Mary’s aunt looked over to the far corner and stared back at Mary. She stared at Mary for a few moments with what appeared to be a confused look on her face.

“Yeah, I guess I did.” Mary’s aunt replied hesitantly. She patted Mary on the head and fluffed her pillows.

“Good night, Mary. You try to get some good sleep now. I have to leave early in the morning. I want you to be there when I leave.” Mary hadn’t realized that it was still only a little past midnight. She began to wonder why her aunt randomly gave her orange juice in the middle of the night.

“Tori, thank you for the orange juice, but what was it for?”

“I’m surprised you didn’t ask for more. I assumed you were thirsty. You’ve been asleep for an entire day.”

Mary was taken aback by this. She never liked to miss out on a day’s event, even if recent days had not been so well. With the darkness outside, she couldn’t help but to feel tired. She’d slept a whole day, yet the gloomy weather had reinforced her sleepiness. Mary’s aunt closed the door and went to her bedroom to get some rest before her flight in a few hours.

Staring at the ceiling fan, Mary began to dose off. She had various things on her mind: Daryl, the apple tree painting, her father, how things would be if her mother hadn’t passed away. Suddenly, a shuffle from the end of the bed abruptly interrupted Mary’s thoughts. She was frozen in fear, not able to move. She began to move the covers closer and closer to her face and as slowly as she could. She didn’t want to see who was there. The rustling stopped. Mary halted her movement in fear that she had been spotted moving. The figure made its way to the side of the bed. Mary’s mind racing through thoughts of how to escape, but she couldn’t think of anything that seemed plausible. I have to turn that light on somehow. As the figure leaned in closer, she could see what looked like a woman’s silhouette peeking from the edge of the bed. Mary had to do something and do it quick. She jolted out of bed, straight for the light switch and turned it on. There stood the little lamb wearing one of Mary’s dresses.

“Why the hell are you in my room, and why are you wearing my dresses?!”

The little lamb stared back in silence.

Mary had yelled in frustration.

“Get out of my house now!”

She attempted to open her bedroom door, but it wouldn’t budge.

As Mary began to build up more anger, she thrashed at the door hoping for it to open.

Abruptly, the lamb let out a loud cry.

Baaa baaa baaa baaaaaa baaaa

Mary thrashed harder at the door, yelling for someone to help her.

Baaaai baaa biiii baaaa ooooo

Mary became helpless and resorted to self-defense. She never wanted to hurt an animal, but it would be the only way to stop this.

Baaaaiii baaanna biiii baaik oooo

Mary grabbed the iron off of the dresser just by her bedroom door and raised it. She swung down as hard she could. The little lamb’s eyes stared up at Mary with anger. The lights went out.

Aaii wannaa bii like yooou

The iron hit the ground. Mary looked into the darkness. She backed away slowly to her bedroom door staring at her bed with the figure beside it. The figure rose from its crouching position. A wiry presence stood tall, facing Mary. Mary’s eyes began to water as the figure stepped closer. Long nails softly ran across Mary’s face and down to her neck. The figure leaned in closer. Mary closed her eyes. Even though she couldn’t see its face, she knew it was menacing. As the presence grabbed a hold of her neck, Mary’s father broke into the room.

“Mary, are you alright?!”

He flicked on the lights and discovered Mary lying on the ground nude crying every last tear she had. He quickly grabbed the bed sheets and covered her up. He yelled for Tori to come and watch Mary as he called the police. The room was a complete disaster. Piles of feces smothered the carpet floor, curtains torn, mirrors broken. The only thing that wasn’t tampered with was the bed and the sundress that lay on it. Mary pleaded with Tori to take her back to the United States with her. She wanted to leave this place behind. Mary’s father was standing in the corner shedding a few tears with a somber look on his face.

“Tori…” Wilbert began. “Please take care of my daughter; she doesn’t have much time.”

“What about you, aren’t you coming with, Wilbert?”

“I can’t. My life is here in this house. This is where it all started.”

“What do you mean, Wilbert?”

“…her mother acted this way since her pregnancy. I thought it would end when she died.”

“Wilbert, she was sick. You couldn’t help it.”

“People don’t just eat away at their own flesh, Tori! She didn’t have a disease! Oh, God. I thought they killed that sheep a long time ago. Take Mary far away from here!”

Tori kept silent. She was shocked by her brother’s breakdown. He was losing everything he worked so hard to get. She grabbed Mary’s clothing and packed them into her luggage. She gave her older brother a kiss on the forehead and made her way outside to the car with Mary close by. As she packed the luggage in the trunk, she could hear her brother weeping a pain that very few have ever felt. A pain he had kept in for a very long time. Mary was still in a daze as they drove to the airport, but came back to her senses as they pulled up to the entrance. Tori checked in her luggage, bought Mary a ticket, and traveled to her flight. Several hours flew by as they rode the plane into the United States. They made it to New York City. The dark curtain of brown and blue covered the sky, not one star present, the streets were vacant with only a few cars passing by Tori’s apartment complex every hour or so.

“I’m glad I got to move in with you. I hope Dad can come here soon.”

“Yeah, Mary, hopefully he will. You’ll need to get some rest. You’ve had a long night.”

Mary lived through the years going to high school and making new friends. She appreciated the life she had now. A doctor’s visit once in a while and even going on university tours in order to see what her future plans were. It was quite difficult to think that she had left Daryl and her father behind, but she was coping pretty well. Her life was better now. Things were slowly getting back to the way they used to be. Every now and again, she discovers only a few dresses missing from her wardrobe.

Credit To – Alexander Contreras/YakuYabai

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The Nameless One

May 9, 2013 at 12:00 AM
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Author’s Note: This story is a part of the By the Fire’s Light series.
Part One: By The Fire’s Light
Part Two: The Wanderer of Blazes

Detective Carl Rourke pushed his chair back from his desk and rubbed his eyes.  The book he had been reading fell on the desk with a small plop.  He stood up and moved to his window and was surprised to find the sun had gone down.  Turning to the clock on his desk, the little red digital numbers told him it was nine o’clock.  He laughed.  ”Shame your dead, Connor,” he said, picking up the book again.  ”You’ve got a great writing style.”  He tapped the book against his hand.  ”And I think I understand what’s going on now.”

For the past couple of weeks, Rourke had been looking for leads in the case of the death of Connor Russell.  A young woman, Cassandra Brighton, had seen a “faceless man” look out the window after Connor pushed himself out of his burning building.  She had subsequently died in a fire as well.  Connor’s psychiatrist, Dr. Ellen Kennedy, had just died in a bizarre car accident that had ruptured her gas tank and caused it to go up in flames.  And this book of Connor’s “By the Fire’s Light” held the key.  In it Connor described a tall faceless man with tentacles that went around and stalked people and killed them.  Usually in relation to fire in some way.

It seemed simple enough to Rourke.  Some psycho fan of Connor’s,  or of this Slender Man, was acting out on one very bizarre fantasy.  And just like the “real” Slender Man he was branching off onto anyone who had seen him, stalking and eventually killing them.  With this in mind, Rourke had had a special watch set up on Meredith Grolinsky, the woman who had witnessed what she called a tall, slender and tentacled man walking away from Dr. Ellen Kennedy’s burning car. If this psycho stayed true to form, he would go after her next.  When he did, Rourke would be ready and waiting.

Rourke rubbed the back of his neck and flipped the lights off on the way out of his office.  He paused and considered taking Connor’s book with him.  Shaking his head, he kept going.  He actually wanted to sleep tonight, and a faceless monster would not aid him in that quest.  ”Call me if anything happens with Grolinsky,” he called to Deloran, the desk sergeant, as he headed out.

“Will do,” Deloran said, with a small wave.

As Rourke slept that night, his sleep was undisturbed by dreams, good or bad.  A shrill screeching from his smartphone at 3 am, however, pulled him from his dreamless slumber.  ”Rourke,” he said groggily, brushing sleep crust out of his right eye.

“Detective Rourke, this is Sergeant Deloran.”

Rourke shot straight up, his sleep falling from him like his blanket.  ”Someone made a move against Grolinsky?’

A pause.  ”We’re not sure.”

Rourke growled in frustration.  ”What do you mean you’re not sure?  Either someone made a move or they did not.”

“Her furnace exploded.”

Rourke nearly dropped his phone.  ”I beg your pardon?”

“Fire department isn’t sure how yet.  Could have been a defect in the furnace.  Could have been foul play.”

Rourke put a hand to his temple.  ”Fire again.”  He slowly shook his head.  ”Connor’s stove has a gasoline leak and explosion.  Cassandra Brighton dies in a fire caused by faulty wiring.  Ellen Kennedy’s car is wrecked and the gasoline tank ruptured resulting in a fire.  And now Meredith Grolinsky dies in a furnace blast. There is no way this was an accident.”

“She’s not dead.”

“She’s alive,” Rourke said, incredulous.  He was already up and searching for the pants he had tossed on the floor on his way to bed.  ”Where is she?  Where was she taken?”

“She was taken to Mercy.  She’s in critical condition, with burns over 90% of her body.  But she’s alive.”

Rourke was jumping into his pants, hopping up and down on one foot with the phone still held to his ear with his shoulder.  ”Alright, Deloran, call the hospital and get them to keep the ambulance drivers there if you  can.  Or call the drivers back or whatever. They probably won’t let me see Grolinsky, but she might have said something they overheard.”

“Will do,” Deloran said on the other end.

Twenty-five minutes later found Rourke pulling into the emergency room parking lot at Mercy.  Deloran had texted him on the way over and directed him to speak with the nurse at the desk.  She would be able to tell him where the drivers were.

Rourke took a quick look around the emergency room waiting area as he walked inside.  Chairs that looked comfortable but might as well have been padded with granite formed a square that was broken up every ten chairs or so by a small wooden stand.  On the stands were stacks of magazines from three months ago, with the very exciting topics of bass fishing and home living.  The walls were painted a neutral beige, probably an attempt to try and calm any panicked people who were unlucky enough to be sitting here. A mother with a hyper-active little boy with a gauze bandage around his wrist sat at one end of the room. On the opposite end, nearer Rourke, a young woman with long black hair sat bent over, face in her hands.

Turning from the waiting room, Rourke made his way over to the desk.  A nurse in blue scrubs sat behind the counter.  Her name badge told him her name was Amber, and the little smiling sun on it told Rourke she would be happy to help him. She looked up as he walked up.  ”Detective Rourke, here about Meredith Grolinsky,” he said, flipping out his badge.

Amber nodded and stood up.  ”We stopped the drivers before they left.  There in the break room down the hall there, third door on the right.” She pointed down the hallway Rourke should take.

“How is Ms. Grolinsky?” he asked, whipping out a small notebook.

“She’s in critical condition.  We have a couple doctors trying to stabilize her now.”

“I heard she had burns over 90% of her body.”

Amber nodded.  ”That is correct.  It’s really going to be touch and go for the next couple hours. If she pulls through she’s got a good shot at recovery.  If not…”

Rourke nodded.  ”Any family come with her?”

Amber nodded to the young woman bent over with her face in her hands.  ”Her daughter came in about ten minutes ago.”

Rourke made a mental note to try and talk with her on the way out.  Then, giving his thanks to Amber, he walked down the hallway to the breakroom.

The door creaked as he pushed it open.  A young woman and man looked up as he walked in.  ”You the detective?” the young woman asked, leaning back in her chair.

“Yes,” Rourke said, flipping out his badge again.  ”Detective Carl Rourke.  I wanted to ask you a few questions about the woman you transported here.”  He whipped out his notebook again, pen in hand.  ”Can I get your names?”

“I’m Robert Fitzgerald, she’s Peggy Yorick,” the young man said, leaning forward.  ”What’s the
deal, you think someone tried to murder this chick?”

“The deal is, I am just trying to gather the facts about what happened,” Rourke said.  He hooked a chair with his leg and pulled it out.  Sitting down, he looked up at the twosome.  ”Was there anyone you saw at the house when you arrived that looked out of place?”

“Crowd of gawkers,” Peggy said, reaching into her coat.  She pulled out a cigarette and tapped it against her hand.  ”That’s nothing unusual though.  Especially when a house goes kaboom in the middle of the night and there’s half a dozen fire trucks and police cars outside.”  She shook her head.  ”Can we hurry this up?  We have to go back on shift in thirty minutes and I want to get a smoke in.”

“Of course,” Rourke said.  He turned to Robert. “You didn’t see anything unusual?”

“Crater where a house used to be.  Otherwise no,” he said, yawning slightly.

“Hm,” Rourke said, making a note.  He looked up again.  ”Was Ms. Grolinsky conscious at all when you brought her in?”

“Very briefly,” Robert said.  ”Screaming her head off.  Considering how we found her, I’d say that’s reasonable.”

“Kept going on about the fire until she blacked out after we had in her the back of the van,” Peggy said, the tapping of her cigarette becoming more insistent.

“Anything specific?” Rourke said, his voice becoming slightly more tense.

“She said something about seeing something by the light of the fire,” Robert said, running a hand through his hair.   “I think.”

“I saw it coming by the fire’s light,” Peggy said, almost without thinking.  Robert and Rourke glanced at her.  She shrugged.  ”That’s what she said.  ’I saw it coming by the fire’s light.’”

Rourke wrote down the phrase in his notebook.  ”It?  Not him or her?  You’re sure?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure,” Peggy said with a wave of her hand.  ”Is that it?”

“Yes, that’s all for now,” Rourke said.

“Good,” Peggy muttered getting up.  She exited without a backward glance.

Rourke raised an eyebrow as he stuffed his notebook back in his jacket pocket.  ”She’s all choked up,” he said getting up.

Robert gave him a bemused look.  ”It’s the nature of the job.  You don’t last long if you don’t build up a few walls.  I’m sure you’ve learned that too.”

Rourke nodded his assent. Then, he left the room as well, making his way back to the emergency waiting room.

The black haired woman that was Meredith Grolinsky’s daughter was standing at the nurse’s desk.  ”They’re taking her back to a room now,” Amber was saying.  ”You’ll be able to see her for a few minutes, but only for a few.”

Rourke walked up to the desk.  ”Is she going to pull through then?”

Amber turned towards him and gave a half-hearted smile.  ”They’ve stabilized her as best they can.  It’s going to be something of a waiting game for the next twenty-four hours.”

“Who are you?” the black-haired woman asked.

“Detective Carl Rourke,” he said.

“Detective?” she said, her eyes going wide.  ”Did someone do this to my mother?”  She took a step forward.

“That’s what I’m trying to find out, Ms.?”

“Mira.  Mira Gorlinsky.”

“Mira, could you answer a few quick questions?”

“Sure,” she said, swaying slightly as she stood.

Amber caught her hand.  ”Sit down!” she said, pointing to a chair by the desk.  There was a note of confidence and command in her voice that pierced whatever fog Mira was in and she sat down.  She shuddered.  Amber was already in motion, filling a small cup with water and giving it to the young woman.  ”Slow sips,” she said, as she took her place back behind the desk again.  She flicked her gaze to Rourke.  ”Keep it short,” she said.

Rourke nodded.  ”Was there anyone you know of that would have a grudge against your mother?”

Mira shook her head slightly, not looking up from her glass.  ”My father, her husband, is dead,” she said abruptly.  She looked up at Rourke’s raised eyebrow.  ”I just thought it would be your next question.  You know, like on the crime shows.”

Rourke allowed himself a small smile.  ”It’s good to know.”  The phone on Amber’s desk rang and she picked it up. After a brief conversation she spoke to Mira.  ”If you feel steady enough, you can go back now,” she said, one hand over the receiver.

Mira stood up putting the water glass on Amber’s desk.  ”Yes, I’ll be okay now,” she said, her voice firm.

Amber nodded and hung up the phone.  ”This way, then,” she said, leading Mira to a set of closed doors a few feet behind her desk.  ”Don’t even think about it,” she said, giving Rourke a good-natured glare.

“Wasn’t going too,” Rourke said, holding up his hands.   He fished a business card out of his pocket and leaned forward, handing it to Mira.  ”If you think of anything, you can call me at the number on there day or night.”

Mira took the car and shoved it in her jean’s pocket without looking.  She gave a bob of her head, and then followed Amber into the back.

***

Rourke sat in his car for a good half an hour before he actually started it up. His fingers rapped the dash again and again as he tried to make sense of what he had learned.  It was possible this psycho had rigged Grolinsky’s furnace to explode.  But Grolinsky’s words bothered him.  She claimed to have seen something by the light of fire she had been caught in.  But if this psycho had actually stayed around for the explosion, he would be no better off than Grolinsky.  ”Delirium, I guess,” Rourke said, finally starting his car.

As he did, his smartphone began to ring.  Slipping his car back into park, he pulled it out of his pocket.  An unknown number was calling him.  Frowning, he answered the phone.  ”This is Detective Carl Rourke.”

“Oh God, Detective, please come back!” a panicked voice on the other end gasped.

“Who is this?” Rourke asked undoing his seat belt.

“It’s Mira, Mira Grolinsky.  I saw him.  God, I saw him, the man that tried to hurt my mother.”

Rourke’s car was off, keys in hand, and he was already running full tilt to the hospital.  One hand automatically went to his side, where a gun hung in its holster under his coat.  ”Mira, where are you?” he asked as he approached the hospital.

“I’m in the waiting room,” she said, her voice taking on a hysterical edge.  ”They won’t let me back in.”

Rourke bounded into the hospital.  Mira was standing near the doors and she jumped as he entered.  Tears streamed down her face and she was shaking.  Amber was already in motion from around her desk and over to where they stood.

“What happened?” Rourke asked, putting his phone back away.

“She thought she saw someone back there,” Amber said, trying to put an arm around Mira.  Mira shoved her away.

“I didn’t think I saw someone, I did see someone!” she nearly screeched.  ”A tall man in a business suit!”

Rourke’s eyes widened.  ”I need you to let me back there right now,” he said to Amber.  ”That matches the description of a man leaving the scene of a crime Ms. Grolinsky witnessed.

Amber wavered and gave him an uncertain look.  She sighed and beckoned for him to follow her.  ”We have the entire area back here on camera.  We called security when Mira raised the alarm, but they didn’t see anyone on the monitors.”

Rourke strode quickly behind Amber.  He heard Mira fall into step behind him. A strong smell of antiseptic assaulted him as the doors opened before them.  He passed a large cart full of linens, several  curtained off areas, and a few criss-crossing hallways.  They came to a stop by a bay of six separate alcoves.  Amber pointed to the third one from the left.  ”Ms. Grolinsky is in there.”

Rourke cautiously walked over and pushed the curtain softly aside.  Grolinsky was swathed in bandages and hooked up to several IVs.  The machines monitoring her vitals beeped softly.  She did not appear to respond to his appearance.  He let the curtain fall back.  ”Where did you see him?” he asked Mira.

Mira pointed to the opposite end of the room. “I saw him peek around the wall there,” she said.

“How do you know he meant your mother harm?” he asked, walking over.  It was a small bay where some extra medical equipment and IV bags were kept.  The wall jutted out slightly, forming a corner someone skinny could fit behind without being seen.

“I– I don’t know,” Mira said, sounding suddenly uncertain.  ”I just knew.” She blushed as she
said it.

Rourke looked around the room, taking in the cameras in the ceiling.  ”Can the cameras see this corner?” he asked.

“Actually, no,” Amber admitted.  ”But if someone was there, they would have had to step out onto camera to leave. Or to get in to begin with.”

“Hunh,” Rourke grunted.  He walked back over to Mira.  ”Did you get a look at this guy’s face?” he asked.

For a moment, panic crossed Mira’s face.  Then she shook her head wildly. “No, I didn’t get a good look.”  She looked away from him then, back to her mother’s room.

Mira was hiding something and Rourke could tell it.  But he felt it best not to push it for now.  ”False alarm I guess,” he said, smiling at Amber.  ”Sorry to trouble you.”

“No trouble at all,” Amber said, leading the both of them back out.  ”But I think it’s for the best if we leave your mom to rest now,” she said glancing back at Mira.

Mira didn’t look up but she nodded.  Rourke took one last appraising glance of her and then followed Amber back to the waiting room.

***

Rourke stretched as he walked into his office the next morning.  ”Okay, first things first,” he muttered putting down his briefcase.  ”I’ll get a list of Meredith’s neighbors and make some phone calls.”  He opened the laptop on his desk and tapped the power button.  It began to hum to life. As it did, Rourke slithered out from behind his desk and grabbed his coffee mug from the corner.  He looked inside it and made a little face.  Brown residue from the previous day’s coffee clung to the sides and bottom of the cup.  ”Eh, I’ll just rinse it out,” he said as he walked to the break room.

As he ran some water into his cup his phone began to ring.  Sighing, he put the mug down and pulled out his phone.  A number he now recognized as Mira’s was on the screen.  ”Hello, Detective Rourke,” he said answering the phone.  He reached over for the coffee pot as he talked.

“Detective Rourke, it’s Mira Grolinsky,” Mira said.  Her voice was tired.  But it wasn’t the tired of no sleep.  It was the tired of one who was too emotionally stunned to entirely accept what was going on around them.  It was something, unfortunately, Rourke had heard a lot of in his line of work.

“Your mother died last night?” he said, gently.  He placed the coffee pot down next to his mug.

“Yes,” Mira said a quaver in her voice.  A pause.  ”No, she didn’t die, she was killed.  He did it, I know he did.”

“The man from last night?” Rourke asked.  He leaned against the counter top, careful not to jostle the coffee pot.

“Yes.  No. I mean–” She stopped.  ”I need to talk to you in person.”

“That’s fine, Mira, that’s fine. Do you want to come to the precinct?  Or do you want me to come to you?”

“Let me come down there.  I have to get out of here,” she said.

“Alright, let me give you directions.”  He gave her quick directions to precinct and then after re-assuring her again, he hung up the phone.

“Great, another dead witness,” he said, pouring the coffee into his cup.  ”This has career ending case written all over it.”

Thirty minutes later, Mira was sitting down in front of his desk.  There were no traces of tears on her face, but it looked like it had been freshly scrubbed with soap and water.  Her cheeks were still a little red because of the violence of the washing, as were her eyes, likely from the violence of her tears.  Rourke steepled his hands.  ”What did you want to tell me, Mira?”

She looked down into her hands.  ”You’re going to think I’m crazy.”  She shook her head slightly.  ”I think I’m crazy.”

Rourke glanced over at Connor’s book, “By the Fire’s Light” still sitting on his desk.  His eyes widened slightly as he remembered the words Meredith had screamed as the ambulance attendants loaded her up.  ”Why don’t I try to guess,” he said slowly, still looking at the book.  ”The man you saw, you don’t think he had a face.”

Mira’s head snapped up, brown eyes meeting Rourke’s hazel ones.  ”Yes,” she said.  She stared at him for a moment longer.  ”How did you know?”

“Well,” Rourke said, sliding the book over to Mira, “that’s going to take some explaining.”  Briefly he narrated the events of the past few weeks to her.  First the death of Connor, followed by Cassandra Brighton, then Ellen Kennedy, and now her mother Meredith Grolinsky.

Mira turned the book over in her hands.  ”And so, this ‘Slender Man’ has been spotted in some way, shape or form at all the deaths?”

Rourke nodded, then paused. “Well, most of them.  I haven’t interviewed anyone who saw him around Cassandra’s death yet.  But she did die in a fire, like the victims in Connor’s books.  Cassandra thought she saw a faceless man look out Connor’s window.  Your mother saw what she thought was a tentacled man leaving Dr. Kennedy’s car.  And now, you, you think you saw a faceless man shortly before your mother’s death.”  He put a hand to his forehead.  ”I don’t know how he got in or out without anyone seeing him, but I think you really did see your mother’s killer.  I think we have a Slender fan on the loose, and we need to catch him before he gets anyone else.”  He stood up and Mira looked up at him as he did so.

“You think I’m next,” she said simply.  ”He goes after those who witness him and his crimes.”

“I think it’s possible,” Rourke said.  ”I want to assign police protection to you for the time being.”

Mira looked down at the book again.  Her hands wandered over the title.  ”Hm,” she said.  ”Do as you please.”  She stood up and handed him the book again.  ”I have to go arrange for my mother’s funeral.”  Without another word she left the office.

Rourke took the book and put it back in a drawer.  Turning to his laptop, he accessed the police network and found an address for Mira Grolinsky.  He made a quick call and had a patrol car assigned outside of her house.  Then he began to methodically call Meredith Grolinsky’s neighbors, hoping to find clues.

The sun had set once again before Carl Rourke got up from his desk and looked out his window.  ”Another day another dead end,” he said as he shut down his laptop.  He hated this.  This killer had been two steps ahead of him from the beginning.  Killers usually messed up eventually, but he didn’t want to have a double digit body count before he caught this guy.  His smartphone trilled in his pocket.  Taking it out he saw, again, Mira’s number.  ”Well, third’s times the charm,” he said answering the phone.  ”Yes, Mira, how can I help you?” he asked.

“I bought that book today, “By the Fire’s Light”,” she said, sounding oddly calm.  ”And I’ve been doing some research and some thinking.  And I think you’re half right.  I think I did see my mother’s killer.”

“Okay?” Rourke said, confused.  ”Did you have something new to tell me?”

“I think,” Mira said, slowly, “that you have one thing wrong.  I don’t think you’re looking for a man.”

“Well, it could be a woman I guess,”Rourke said with a shrug.

Mira sighed.  ”No, Detective.”

Rourke’s eyebrows knit. And then he realized what she was talking about.  ”Mira,” Rourke said, as if he was talking to a small child.  ”The Slender Man is not real.  He is a fictional entity.”

“Was,” Mira said, still calm.  ”We have summoned him and he has come.”  He heard the scratching of something on the other end of the line, possibly a pen on paper.  ”And what can be summoned can be dismissed.”

“Mira,” Rourke said, still slightly patronizing, “it’s been a long and hard day for you.  Get some rest.”

“I will when I am done.  You take care of yourself, Detective.  Who knows, he might move after you next if this doesn’t work.”  She hung up.

Rourke quickly called the officers in the patrol car currently in front of Mira’s house.  After verifying she was at home, he left instructions for them to watch for any comings and goings to her house carefully.  Then, finally, he left the office for his home, this time with his copy of “By the Fire’s Light” in his briefcase.

Rourke turned on his bedside light as he slipped into bed that night.  He tried to focus on the book in his hands.  He just felt like there was something he was missing.  And it wasn’t that this Slender Man was real.  Unable to concentrate on the book and his tiredness finally catching up with him, Rourke let the story fall from his hands as he closed his eyes, not even bothering to turn off the light.

***

Rourke dreamed.  He was in a closely overgrown forest.  Every which way he turned, he brushed up against tree branches and overly tall ferns.  Something tall moved at the very edge of his sight sometimes, but he couldn’t tell what it was.  He caught a good glance of it to his north (or at least he guessed north from the moss on the trees) and he began to move towards it.

Something touched his shoulder.  Rourke turned around and found himself looking at young man with black hair.  ”Detective Rourke,” he said, quietly.  ”Do not follow it. It will come after you soon enough without you encouraging it.”

Rourke raised an eyebrow.  ”Who are you?”

“Connor,” the young man said.

Rourke cocked his head.  For some reason the name sounded familiar, but he couldn’t place why.

Connor shook his head.  ”Don’t question, just listen,” he said, looking over his shoulder.  ”I don’t have much time and this is important.  Dr. Kennedy had the right idea.  It runs on belief.  But there is too much now for one person to deny it existence.”  He shook Rourke slightly.  ”Do you understand?”

Rourke shook his head.  ”I don’t,” he said.  He felt as if his mind had been wrapped in a blanket, warm and stifled.  ”But I should.”

“Just remember then,” Connor said.  ”One person is not enough. Nor two.”  He sighed.  ”We gave the nameless one a name,” he muttered.  ”And he will not give it back.”  He looked into Rourke’s eyes.  ”It is easier to modify a story than to negate it,” he said.  ”Tell Mira that.  It’s too close to her now, I can’t reach her.  I won’t be able to reach you after this.”

Rourke felt the hairs on the back of his neck raise.  There was something behind him.  He could feel it.  He could see it in Connor’s terrified gaze.  Connor’s hands tightened painfully around Rourke’s arms.  Rourke tried to turn and see, but Connor held him fast.

“No,” Connor whispered.  ”Don’t look, not yet.”  He leaned in close and whispered in his ear.  ”I am free, but others are not.  I can’t help them, but you and Mira can.  Please remember.”

Rourke nodded.  ”I will.”

“Good,” Connor said.  ”Now,” and his face suddenly twisted, “wake up!” he screamed, still leaned in close to Rourke’s ear.

***

Rourke jumped up in bed.  ”Holy Mother of God,” he said, head in his hands.  ”What was that?”  Without thinking he was already reaching for the notebook he took with him on investigations.  Quickly, he began to jot down the dream.  A sense of urgency permeated him, a feeling that he could not let this dream slip from him.

Rourke shook his head as he transcribed.  ”Lord, Rourke, you are losing it.  Have a dream about Connor Russell, and don’t even realize its him in the dream.  Some detective.”  He glanced over at his clock.  Two in the morning.  Even though he thought he was a fool, the feeling of urgency did not leave Rourke.  In fact, if anything, it was growing stronger.  ”It’s too close to her now,” Connor had said.  Slender Man was obviously what his dream Connor was referring to.

Rourke considered going back to bed, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep.  Not unless he was sure Mira was okay.  He pulled his smartphone off his nightstand and dialed Mira’s number.  It rang five times and then went to voice mail.  He hung up and stared at the floor for a moment.  If it was only two in the morning the same patrol car would probably be in front of her house.  He dialed through to the officers inside again.  They quickly assured him no one had gone into or left the house.

Hanging up the phone and putting it back on the stand, Rourke grunted.  ”That’s that.”  He moved to turn of the bedside light he had left on when he went to sleep. His hand hung there as he stared at the light. The dream may have been just a dream, but Rourke had learned to trust his gut over the years.  And his gut was telling him he had to get over to Mira Grolinsky’s house right now.  He took in a deep breath, held it, and let it out.  ”Fine,” he growled, getting up.

Mira lived in a small community about thirty minutes from his house.  There were about fifteen house arranged around a good sized lake in the middle.  A light breeze brought the smell of the water to Rourke as he climbed out of his car.  He nodded to the officers in the patrol car as he walked over to it.

“Something wrong, Detective?” the young woman said inside. Rourke recognized her as Samantha Layton, a five year vet of the force.

“No, I don’t think so,” Rourke said.  ”Ms. Grolinsky just called, said she had something she wanted to show me,” he said, lying through his teeth.  He’d be damned if he told these officers that a bad dream had prompted him to come here.  ”Keep an eye out, though, okay?”

“Will do,” Samantha said with a nod.  She prodded the young man next to her.  ”Hear that, Craig?” she said, as he started slightly.

Rourke turned from the car and walked up to the house.  A motion sensor light on the garage went off as he walked up the driveway.  His long black shadow stretched away behind him as he rang the bell on the house.  He followed this up with several solid knocks.  Silence met his ears as he waited.  He put his head down and listened.  No, it wasn’t quite silence.   Just there on the edge of his hearing he thought he heard… crackling.
Whipping away from the door, he moved to the living room window.  He peered through the partially open blinds and saw a soft orange glow inside.  He drew in his breath.

Rourke turned back to the patrol car that Samantha was already climbing out of.  ”Call the fire department!” he yelled.  ”And stay back!”  Rourke pulled a Maglite flashlight out of his coat pocket.  With a straight focused blow, he hit the corner of the living room window with the butt of the light.  It fragmented and fell into little pebbles, designed to break in a way that wouldn’t leave shards that could cut people.  He smashed the window again, leaving a hole big enough for him to climb through.

“Mira!” Rourke shouted, flipping on the light as he dragged himself through the window.  A small trail of smoke was filtering into the large living room, past the two black leather couches and easy chair.  He ran, following the trail and the orange glow towards the back of the house.

Rounding a corner, he spotted a glass sliding door that was now reflecting a wall of flames that danced in an almost impossible straight line in front of it.   A table with a golden tablecloth shined brilliantly in the light.  And there, in a corner behind the table, flames surrounding him, stood a tall man in a business suit, towering over the cowering Mira in a corner.

“Halt or I will shoot!” Rourke said, pulling out his gun and dropping the flashlight.

Mira looked out around the man, eyes wide and unbelieving.  ”Detective?” she said, fear and hope mingling in her voice.

The man turned to face Rourke, which was a funny choice of words since he had no face Rourke could see.  Rourke leveled his gun on his extremely skinny center mass.  ”Do not move!” he roared.

The man cocked his head and took a gliding step forward.  And as he did, to Rourke’s astonishment, the flames danced and followed him, gliding perfectly. Training overcoming amazement, Rourke made sure Mira was not standing behind the man and then opened fire. He fired three shot point blank into the man’s chest.

He didn’t even stagger.  He glided closer to Rourke.  Rourke’s eyes widened.  ”Bullet proof vest,” he gasped stepping back.  ”But even with a bullet proof vest, he’d still feel the impact,” a small corner of his mind whispered back.  Ignoring that part of his mind for now, Rourke leveled his gun at the man’s head.  He fired. He watched as the bullet hit dead center where its face should be.  It, because even Rourke had to admit, when a man was hit in the face with a bullet, the bullet didn’t stop and then slowly sink into the face without leaving a trace.  A black tendril whipped from behind the thing’s back and Rourke realized he was about to die.

“No!” Mira screamed, dragging herself from the corner.  She coughed as she ran past the thing, and grabbed Rourke’s arm.  ”Don’t believe in him!”

The thing’s tendrils began to whip angrily as she spoke and it moved forward aggressively.  Rourke looked around him.  The flames had circled them, blocking the entrance back to the front door and to the sliding door that led down to the lake below.  ”The lake,” Rourke said, an idea forming in his head.  He grabbed Mira.  ”Come on!” he said, whipping the table cloth off the table.  He wrapped it around them and ran as the thing struck forward, its tendrils landing where he and Mira had been standing a mere second ago.

Rourke propelled himself and Mira through the flame wall in front of the sliding door.  He felt the flames biting into the tablecloth, felt the heat searing into him.  With a bounce he hit the glass door.  In desperation, he ripped off the tablecloth, Mira helping him, as he grabbed the door.  With a shove, it fell open, and he and Mira were running breakneck down the hill leading to the lake.

“It’s easier to modify a story than to negate it!” he said breathlessly to Mira, as they ran.  ”What is the natural enemy of fire?”

Mira’s eyes widened in recognition.  ”Water!” she said, as they closed in on the lake.  She started to turn to look back.

“No!” Rourke said, waving an arm to keep her attention.  ”Don’t look back!”  And then they were plunging into the water.  It seeped into Rourke’s shoes and socks, making his feet feel like someone had placed weights in them.  Rourke and Mira struggled forward, each helping the other, until they could  no longer feel the lake bed beneath them and they were dog paddling in the water.

“We have to believe,” Mira said through chattering teeth looking back at the house.

“We won’t be enough,” Rourke said, looking back with her.  The thing, the Slender Man, stood at the edge of the shore, the flames following him in a dancing swirling line down from the house.  It stood, black suit melding into and out of the smoke.  But it did not come forward.  Sirens filled the air as a fire truck approached the house.  The Slender Man tilted its head as if listening.  And then, slowly, it seemed to melt into the very shadows made by the flame’s light.

Rourke felt Mira grasp his hand.  ”Well, it was enough for now,” she gasped, trying to stay afloat with one hand.

“For now,” Rourke agreed, beginning to swim for shore.

Credit To - Star Kindler

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Vitreous

May 8, 2013 at 12:00 AM
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In mid-July of 1991, when Sam was six years old, he was holding his mother’s hand as they walked barefoot across the baking hot asphalt of the neighborhood pool’s parking lot. He had his other arm through the hole of his inflatable black inner tube, and was gazing off at an angle tangential to the sun.

Something was bothering him, and had been ever since school let out the month prior. Sam refrained from telling his mother about it (and his father was not exactly a prime source of emotional comfort) because he was afraid she would think he was going crazy.

The passage of time for the young always seems so much slower than for an adult, even in the happiest of days. With this secret weighing on Sam’s heart, the past month had felt like an eternity. Finally he screwed up the courage to speak.

“Mom, I’ve gotta tell you something.”

She looked down at him, a kind but apprehensive smile spreading across her face. She knew he was a good boy, but that was rarely a good way for your child to start the conversation. “Go ahead, sweetie.”

“Sometimes, I see things. Like some kind of squirmy bugs.” Sam said, “I don’t think they’re really there. I can kinda see through them, and they run away when I try to look straight at them, but they’re always there. I think they might be inside my eyes.”

Her smile widened and she looked off to the side so as to not let him see it, since this seemed to be a serious issue for him. So many nonsensical worries turned into serious issues for Sam, a trait he likely inherited from her. Most of his issues tended toward the ‘monster in the closet’ category – a battle she had finally won through countless subsequent nights in which he was not eaten by a grue – so she thought something with an actual medical explanation should be easily put right.

“I used to get those sometimes. Lots of people do, actually. I know they look weird, like squiggly little worms or something, but they’re really just harmless little specks in your eyes that people call ‘floaters’. They’re not alive, and they can’t hurt you. They come and go, it’s no big deal.” She ruffled Sam’s hair as they approached the girl guarding the entrance to the pool, and waved their membership cards for entrance.

Sam spent the day doing flips underwater, and sometimes just bobbing along the surface of the pool in his black rubber inner tube. He slowly began to put the visions – what his mother had called ‘floaters’ – out of his mind. She had seen them too, which alone would have taken most of their menace away from them, even if they weren’t harmless like she promised they were. He sometimes wondered if his parents understood how much less scary those closet monsters would have been for him if his they had only acknowledged the monsters existence. Knowing you’re alone with horrors that only you can see is always the worst part.

“But if mom sees the worms and still says everything’s fine, then it must be,” he thought to himself. He found it somewhat odd that she mentioned the worms but not the spiders, or the way they scream when you try to fall asleep – but he supposed it went without saying. Sam stretched out across the tube, and let himself float.

Ten months later, when Sam was seven, his parents took him to an Optometrist – Dr. Howard – for an eye exam. After reading off a series of letters, the doctor asked him to read another – smaller – series of letters. This and other tests went on for what struck his parents as an unusually long duration, before Dr. Howard finally stopped and stared at Sam thoughtfully. He leaned down to get to eye-level with the child, as adults tend to do, and said loud enough to make sure the parents heard as well: “Do you know what twenty-twenty vision means?”

Sam shook his head in negation.

“It means,” Dr. Howard continued, “That you see things from twenty feet away as well as most people see them from twenty feet away. That’s normal. Some people see things worse than most people, and they might see things from twenty feet away as well as most people see them from thirty or forty feet away. We call that twenty-forty vision, and that’s when people start having real problems with their eyesight.”

Sam’s mother and father both visibly stiffened, afraid of where this might be going. Dr. Howard glanced briefly their way, held up a hand, then returned his attention to Sam. “Yours, on the other hand, is the exact opposite. You have what I believe to be twenty-six vision. It might be even better than that, but I…” He shook his head slightly, bugged out his eyes, and turned his palms up, “That would be like describing an eagle. You might as well be walking around with a pair of binoculars in your head. It’s basically unheard of.”

Sam’s parents exhaled and smiled slightly, happy that the news was good, and their son was normal – exceptional, even. Sam, on the other hand, felt a spine-tingling ripple of unease wash over him at the comparison to eagles that Dr. Howard had made.

His parents limited his television time, except when it came to informative programs. So if it was raining outside and he was bored, his options were either a book or some educational show. Some weeks ago, he had seen a program on birds. He learned that contrary to what people once thought, birds caught worms not because of hearing or feeling their vibrations – but because of their exceptional vision. They would tilt their heads so their eyes were facing the ground, and watch for the most infinitesimal disturbances caused by a worm’s passing.

This tingle of unease was brought to Sam courtesy of the fact that the worms and spiders had become more well-defined in the past six or seven months, and screamed louder than ever. Worst of all was hearing the doctor tell him that his eyesight was above and beyond normal. Over the past few months his vision had become milky and clouded with the apparitions, causing him much concern. By the time the Optometrist’s appointment came, he could barely read even the largest of letters on the eye exam – making Dr. Howard’s proclamation of exceptional vision even more disturbing to him. Acting on a hunch, Sam had merely been repeating the letters which were being screamed to him inside of his own eyes.

By the age of eleven, the world through Sam’s eyes had become a grayish-white fog. He had summoned up the courage to initiate a tearful and terrified conversation with his mother and father. He told them everything, and his dad responded by silently retrieving a flashlight and shining it in his son’s eyes. He mumbled something about ‘cataracts’, but shook his head – he hadn’t seen anything other than Sam’s bright blue irises.

Appointments to Dr. Howard became a bi-monthly event, then had finally ceased. They were replaced by trips to a specialist, who was a two hour drive away, if traffic was moderate. The new doctor seemed increasingly agitated with Sam after each appointment. Sam didn’t know the word the specialist reluctantly told his parents – “psychosomatic” – but he did know that after four of these trips they promptly ended, and were replaced by a much shorter drive to the office of a completely different manner of doctor. This new doctor’s office had a couch, and lots of stuffed animals. All this doctor seemed interested in was talking about Sam’s life and feelings. He took lots of notes, and cast many sideways glances in the boy’s direction.

To make matters worse, there were dots now. Little milky punctuation marks which the worms and spiders left in their wake. While the worms and spiders kept squirming around, albeit slightly more sluggishly than they had before, the dots remained perfectly still. This essentially marked the end of Sam’s ability to view the outside world. Everything now revolved around the screaming circus conducting its daily performance inside of his skull. There was, however, a change in the condition which Sam regarded as horrible and merciful at the same time: They had begun to laugh. It was a terrible mixture of tittering and squealing, but it was undeniably laughter. At least they stopped screaming long enough to laugh, even if the shrill hissing sound did invariably cause his bladder to release.

Sam was twelve years old when the white specks which had erased the last vestiges of his view of the normal world began to split open and writhe, and everything suddenly made a horrible manner of sense to him. Eggs. They had been laying eggs. At this realization, whatever tattered remnants of his sanity had been hanging on by a thread simply slipped loose and flew away.

He squeezed his fingers against his palms but kept his thumbs stuck out, curled upward like dull fishing hooks. He raised them to his eyes, and began to dig.

As his thumbs met his retinas, there was a single distant screech – a polite but stern protest. This did not last long, once he began digging in earnest. The screaming became unfathomably louder than it ever had been before, which he allowed himself a moment to be surprised by. It was as if the creatures had discovered a bullhorn stashed away inside of his skull somewhere. He realized this was a noise which, had it been coming from outside his own head, would have been deafening. Deafness would have been a mercy, as it would have meant cessation of the hideous, wailing cacophony being orchestrated for its audience of one.

He dug until his milky-gray view of the world turned to fire, then ultimately blackness. As warmth rolled down his cheeks and ended in a quiet, sickening slosh on the wooden floorboards of his parents’ kitchen, Sam fell to his knees.

Horror and agony yielded to merciful relief the likes of which most will never know. Blindness came as a blessing, freedom from that which had so horribly oppressed him. There, on his knees, Sam tittered and ran his fingers along his now-vacant eye sockets. His laughter devolved steadily into screams as he began to feel a squirming sensation work its way up from the floor, ascending his form with frightening alacrity. Even without eyes, he could see the error of his ways.

The same documentary which taught Sam about how birds hunt worms went on to discuss the common goldfish – and how they could and would grow to match the volume of their bowls.

Upon achieving freedom from globes far too small for their goals, the floaters screamed in triumph through mouthfuls of their former host’s bloody flesh, and began to grow.

Credit To – Dave Taylor

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Cynthia

May 7, 2013 at 12:00 AM
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“Little solace comes to those who grieve
When thoughts keep drifting as walls keep shifting
And this great blue world of ours
Seems a house of leaves,

Moments

Before

The

Wind.”

-House of Leaves. (Pg. 563)

Greg was asleep. He had been for some time, as was normal. Depression has a way of sapping ones energy. Well, not really “sap,” so much as “make the real world so un-fucking-bearable that sleeping for sixteen hours a day is preferable to being aware of your own life” kind of thing. Not to say that he slept well, not even close. The problem with sleep is the possibility for dreaming, and dreams have a way of reminding one of reality. You see, Greg was in a rough spot in his life; he was virtually broke. His job didn’t pay all that well, which was to be expected considering that fine arts majors have a tendency to ruin their lives by becoming fine arts majors. To him, the best option available was to get a job as a gas station clerk, which gave him enough down time to allow him to utilize his sketch book while still technically being paid to do it. He kept telling himself that he was working toward something better, but to what exactly, that was still unknown. He had been telling himself this for his entire life.

Greg shifted beneath the blankets, his face knotted into something unpleasant, but relaxed back soon after.

It had been just over a year since Greg had spoken to Natalie. At this same moment, Greg was the last thing on Natalie’s mind. She had ended it with Greg the previous year before leaving for the west coast to do… something or other. Something that involved not being around Greg, something that involved getting away from the pathetic little town, something that involved living an actual life. At the same moment that Greg lay asleep, alone in an apartment he could barely afford, alone in a bed beneath a few blankets, Natalie was with her new boyfriend, having the time of her life on some moonlit beach, watching the Pacific Ocean tides caress the shore. Despite a sincere desire for her to be happy, Greg would not have been content to know this. Affection has a way of bringing out jealousy in people, human nature and all.

Greg let a small noise exit his lungs, the sound of a whimper.

Greg’s bedroom consisted of a futon, a small glass table littered with empty beer cans and overflowing ashtrays, a bookshelf, and a closet. On the walls of his room, Greg had thumb tacked the majority of his pencil or charcoal drawings, the ones he liked anyway. The same went for the few of his oil paintings, the ones that he cared to mount. These were the sort of paintings that border on classic realism, usually with the aid of photographs of whatever he found interesting, but also with the particular style of blending several images together haphazardly next to each other resulting in a sloppy transition area that gives one the thought of active decay.

The subjects themselves were always bleak in nature. Greg was often disappointed that he never had to look very far for inspiration. On the glass being half full point of view, at least Greg didn’t have to spend too much money on primary colors. “You’d be surprised what you can do with only shades of grey.” He liked to tell people.

Greg’s closet was used to store his yet to be used canvas, seasonal cloths, and one mannequin head. The head in question is the type of model most often used by students studying the field of cosmetology. For one reason or another, the details are not important, but for one reason or another Greg had managed to acquire a female mannequin head, along with several interchangeable wigs. He kept these things in his closet, because Greg was not in fact a creep, but because Greg had an artistic spirit. And an artistic spirit has a tendency to see potential where others see random piles of crap.

The clock next to the bed displayed the symbols to indicate that the time was five twenty one in the morning. One minute passed, and Greg screamed.

He had the dream again. It must have been the fifth or sixth night in a row that Greg had awoken before dawn covered in sweat, panting heavily, heart pounding in his chest while his eyes stared off into the dark of his room, searching for both everything and nothing. One of the windows in his room had been left open, a cool breeze swept across the left side of Greg’s face. It was a quiet morning, the kind of pre-twilight hour that held a certain solitary tranquility. Greg knew this, and once he had calmed himself down, reminding himself that what he just experienced had been imaginary, he decided to go out for a walk. He thought it would help clear his head, and in most circumstances he’d be absolutely correct. It was a perfect “night” after all.

Greg put on a pair of mostly clean pants, and tied the laces of his boots. Without turning on any lights, moving his legs across his bedroom by muscle memory alone, Greg made his way towards the door that would lead into the rest of his apartment, which really only consisted of his studio space, a kitchen nook, and a bathroom. It was not a very large area, so even in absolute darkness Greg could navigate around what little he could claim ownership. Greg opened his bedroom door.

Something seemed off. Maybe not “off,” exactly. Not necessarily “wrong,” either, but definitely not “right”. The dimension of familiarity had somehow been made forfeit, the short hallway that had been traveled a thousand times over no longer seemed to be the same as what Greg felt it to be.

“Am I awake?” Greg asked out loud, to himself of course, and it was a valid question regardless. The nightmare he had just escaped usually began under oddly similar circumstances. Then the breathing started.

Greg, yet to shake his drowsy mind into being fully alert, didn’t panic, not immediately. For one reason or another, the sound of a woman’s rapid breathing emerging from an invisible source, emerging from a place no more than a few feet from where Greg stood, appeared to Greg as more of a curiosity than a threat. Not until the sound grew closer did Greg slam the door shut and turn the lights on. If he doubted it before, he now knew that he was fully awake. Startled would be an appropriate description.

The rest of the day went by as normal. Work, the bank, returned library books, a trip to the grocery store to pick up a bag of rice and lentils, all the normal everyday errands that people who call themselves adults need to do in order to function. The “daily race,” some call it, “the absurd drama,” others say. Whatever words are best appropriate, it has a notable ability to force even the most rattled individual to forget about the unexplained bumps in the night that follow the realm of strange and distant shores. Greg was not an exception to real world necessity either, so by the time he returned home he had completely forgotten what he had witnessed before the sun rose. And yet, he somehow drew his thoughts toward the head in his closet. Why you may ask? Well, the only rational explanation would be to state the Greg was in fact a human, and humans are sometimes random. Especially if those humans are self-described artists.

Greg spent the rest of his evening carefully painting over the flesh-tone plastic mannequin head, a base of pure titanium white acrylic, outlined in the shape of a mask by a thick line of ivory black that traveled from just below the chin and all the way up to the hair line. Once the base had dried, Greg continued his work by brushing a mix of cadmium red and umber across the mannequins lips, followed by the tedious but precise detail of shaping the eyes, including French ultramarine eye shadow, going so far as to add the fake highlights of reflected light onto the pupils. Expanding on this, Greg was compelled to give his work in progress a femme fatale look by adding a black line expanding from (following the curvature of the face) ear to ear,
connecting at the sides of the mouth, with a few embellished swirls deviating from the main line. Also over the rosy red lips, several vertical lines of proportional diminishment gave the face a skull like appearance. Once Greg had completed the painting aspect, he added the final pieces: a red bandanna tied around the lower neck, a black wig cut into a feathered styling, and a green chief petty officers hat adorned with pins collected from various sources, mostly from punk rock band merchandise. When he was done, he named his creation Cynthia, and placed on the center of his bedroom table.

That night, Greg had the dream, the same dream that he’d been having. It always started out the same way; Greg would open his bedroom door to a hallway of absolute darkness. The sensation that Greg felt was that he was no longer in the same apartment that he had fallen asleep in, no longer comforted by a sense of familiarity, security, or certainty.

The word I’m searching for here is “uncanny”.

From there, the breathing would start. Always female, always rapid, always heavy. The variable was that sometimes Greg would turn to run, only to find that his bedroom had disappeared entirely, becoming just one long hallway without end. Other times, he’d close the door before the sounds got too close, but in that scenario something would begin to scratch at the wood from the other side. In both cases, Greg would undoubtedly awaken just before the door opened, or just as he heard the breathing next to his ear. Not once had Greg managed to see what was causing the breathing, nor would he have wanted to, if given the chance.

As usual, Greg awoke to the sound of his own screaming, his sheets soaked in sweat, the sky still dark.

Let’s skip ahead a few weeks, shall we? I never knew Greg personally, and I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in the more mundane aspects of his personality or livelihood, nor do I think anyone seriously wants to know what Greg eats for breakfast or what time of day he showers, so in order to spare you the banal details I will instead act as a good narrator should and move along.

When we return to the life of Greg, he has become overly disheveled, bordering on psychosis. It had been over three days since his last meal, it had been nearly a week since he stopped showing up to work. He stopped sleeping entirely. He didn’t even bother putting on real cloths, not at this point. In a bathrobe, sitting on a tall barstool in the center of his studio, Greg frantically dipped a large bristled paint brush into a can of midnight black, and once fully saturated in the dark pigment, whipped the brush as hard as he possibly could at the massive canvas barely held by his easel. Once he felt content with the brushwork, he switched to a pallet knife scraped against a mix of burnt sienna and primary red diluted with turpentine, hacking and slashing the crimson in the same manner an axe crazy psychopath would murder his teenage victim. One could relate Greg’s new style to that of Jackson Pollock, in the sense that Greg painted in only pure form guided by intuition alone. It actually makes sense that Greg would have adopted this style, considering that a combination of sleep deprivation, solitary frustration, and will shattering depression would have drained his ability to articulate his work through coherent images. When Greg felt satisfied that he was complete, he took several steps back to admire his efforts.

The likeness was that of a Rorschach inkblot test, in the way that the splattering pattern of black, white, red and blue could be interpreted a thousand different ways by a thousand different people, although the accompanied feelings would be anything but pleasant. Some folks have said that they see bloody handprints pushing against the two dimensional barrier, others have said they see a face that watches them back. Others still, say they can’t see anything at all, they can’t see it, but they can feel it.

Personally, I see it for what it really is; an abstract horror.

Greg turned his attention from the painting to his friend, perched on a countertop. “So, what do you think? Is it missing anything?” He asked her.

“No, it’s perfect and beautiful.” She said back. Greg smiled, the kind of smile someone makes when they’re worried about disappointing everyone they know but manage to feel adequate in the end. “You need to hold onto this one,” She continued, her voice sultry and dark, with the biting edge of a knife accenting something just below the surface. “It’s far too important to disregard.” Her lips remained still, just as they always had.

“Thank you Cynthia, thank you so much.” Greg felt relaxed for the first time in days. Cynthia had kept her end of the bargain by refusing to allow Greg to fall asleep, and in return he did exactly what she told him to do, without question. She caught his attention the first time by shifting her eyes out of the corner of Greg’s. At first, he thought he was just seeing things, a trick of the light, but when she began to speak, well, that wasn’t something Greg could readily ignore. Call it what you want: wish fulfillment, isolation, schizophrenia, maybe just loneliness, but whatever word used to describe Greg’s psyche, no one can deny that to Greg, Cynthia was anything less than real.

And he loved her. He loved her the way anyone loves those who tell them exactly what they want to hear, things like, “Everything will be okay,” or “Things will get better”. Little lies like, “You deserve better than this,” or, “I love you too.”

That first night Greg would have believed anything she told him. That first night where she kept him awake, kept him away from the thing that stalked the hallway, she said things that made sense.

“Don’t be afraid Greg. You have nothing to fear from me.” She told him, sitting motionless on Greg’s table. “I know what’s been going on around here, I know what’s been running up and down around here in the dead of night, and I can help you stop it.”

“How?” Greg asked her, no longer concerned with his own sanity. “How can I stop it?”

Cynthia laughed a condescending laugh. “Have you ever wondered if maybe, just maybe, that the monsters hiding under your bed are really just there to protect you?” Greg was confused by her question, and Cynthia knew it. “Just do exactly what I tell you, and I’ll make sure it never finds its way out.”

This is where I think we left off, with Greg finishing his cathartic piece of artistry. Cynthia told Greg that the only way to end the night terrors would be to remove his own demons from his mind by placing them, or “locking” them into something else. This is where the painting came into play. The first few failed to capture the true essence of Greg’s anxiety manifest, each time Cynthia adding more and more pressure for Greg to get it right, instructing him on the true meaning of expression. On the third attempt, he finally got it right.

“Bring me back to the bedroom.” She told him when he was done washing the paint from his hands and face. “It’s time for you to rest.” Greg agreed. He was tired, and he always agreed. He moved Cynthia back into his bedroom, under the assumption that she would watch over him while he slept, protecting him.

As if she would seriously consider the life of this loser to be meaningful.

After placing Cynthia back onto the center table, Greg turned out the lights, slipped beneath a blanket, and willingly closed his eyes. A heartbeat later, they opened.

The room he was in, it was identical to the one he knew, but also thoroughly alien, foreign, tampered. It was bright, but without a light source, as though the shadows of his room had inverted themselves, neither monochrome nor multicolor, warped into something wholly surreal. Greg felt ill.

“Am I awake or am I dreaming?” he asked, looking to Cynthia for guidance, who under the circumstance seemed rather happy. She was smiling.

“Neither.” She responded, her eyes following Greg’s.

“What do I need to do now?” He finally asked, after he no longer felt the ability to make up his own mind. Cynthia’s smile grew wide, far wider than seemed possible, far more mischievous than seemed necessary.

“Now, we have control. All you need to do is to open that door, and step into the hall.”

Greg didn’t want to it. He never wanted to do it, but he did as he was told, his hand shaking as it moved for the knob. He opened that door the way he had always opened it, full of terror and apprehension, knowing that just beyond there lied an endless void, and the sound of breathing. When he stepped into the hall he began to hear it again, not too close, but not too far away either.

“Cynthia?” He asked, only once.

The breathing was moving towards Greg, steadily the way a pendulum separates motion. He heard Cynthia’s voice from just behind by the second swing.

“Have you ever wondered,” she asked, “if the monsters hiding under your bed, are really just there to protect you?” The next thing Greg heard was a door slamming into place, followed a breath in his ear, and nothing more.

Now, you may wish to inquire how I, the narrator, became aware of the events that led up to the demise of that young man, and I don’t blame you for asking. After all, I’ve already mentioned that I failed to know Greg while he was still on this earth, and so reason would state that I was never in any position to observe the events that had transpired. Reason would be absolutely correct. However, a good narrator knows to never give away a mystery, or to let the truth get in the way of a particularly good one at that. So in favor of spoiling the story with petty details and explanations, I’ll leave you with this and this alone:

Ickbarr has a new friend.

Cynthia

Credit: Stephan D. Harris

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The Driver

May 6, 2013 at 12:00 AM
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This is the third installment in the Tower of Sorrow series.
Part One: Yon Black Edifice Hath Called Me
Part Two: First Steps
Part Three: Tight Spaces

-

Dragging this unconscious sack of meat to the car, I have to wonder how the hell The Collective could possibly believe it would be of use to us. I mean, one whisper from our foe was enough to knock the poor bastard unconscious. Now, here I am lugging it to this car so that I can drive it halfway across the country to The Collective’s front door step. Sometimes I loathe this job and I’ve never been fond of human beings. I dump it into the trunk of my car carelessly. With a groan I flop into the driver’s seat, turn the engine over, and begin the long drive. Of all the worlds The Collective could choose, why this one?

I’ve been around humans before. I’ve walked in this world and seen the way they live. It’s atrocious to say the least. They spend their insignificantly short lifetimes trying to earn this crap they call money. It’s just little scraps of paper with some stupid green print on it. Utterly worthless! They lie and cheat and steal to try to gain more of it. They will even go so far as to kill each other over it, the damn fools! Don’t even get me started on how they treat each other, either! It’s like each individual in their society truly believes that they are the alpha and omega. Like each individual is somehow a god and the rest are just too damn oblivious and stupid to be reverent. They claim to love each other, but will in turn step on those they “love” as quickly and thoughtlessly as those they “despise.” It’s disgusting. Then of course you’ve got their stupid arguments over “what’s out there?” If they knew the truth their puny little minds would liquefy and run out of their sniveling noses. Some of them even go so far as to think that they actually KNOW. They call themselves preachers or scientists or what the hell ever other stupid titles they come up with. It’s absurd. They spend their lives dedicated to beliefs in their stupid gods or their scientific theories. They have no idea what’s really going on.

Before all of the maniacal death and destruction started, I had visited their sorry little reality many times. They couldn’t even comprehend who or what I was. I’ve been called an alien, a monster, a ghost, a shadow man, a demon, et cetera. The list could go on for eternity. I’ve never killed any of their kind, though at times I would have loved to. I’ve never “abducted” any of them, until today that is. Yet they go on with their stories of anal probing. What purpose would that even serve? Doesn’t everybody already know that humans are full of shit? It’s gone on since their sorry little species stopped climbing trees and started walking upright. I suppose for them it’s some form of entertainment or some such garbage. To me, it’s simply degrading. Sometimes I have to wonder why I even bothered to look in on them. I suppose it’s kind of comical to watch them wage their little wars. It’s like they grow up and then when they have some semblance of authority, they regress back to being toddlers. They fight over the dumbest things.

I know what my assignment is and I know that The Collective values this thing, but I just can’t comprehend it. So many other species have fallen to the evil that is consuming the worlds. How could a hero or a savior come from such an inept and weak species? How could one human being turn the tide in a war that’s been going on for so long? They can’t even see past their own insignificance far enough to realize that their world is but a drop of water in a vast ocean. This human had better be worth all my trouble. If it weren’t for The Collective, I would have been eradicated with the rest of my people. I owe them my life, but at times like this, I wish that debt was already paid.

I’m broken from my reverie of disgust by a thumping sound coming from behind me. It sounds like the hairless ape in my trunk is awake and struggling. Now the fun begins. I slam on the brakes and throw the car into park. I turn off the radio and sure enough I can hear it back there moving around. With a sigh, I open the car door and get out into the cool night air. I suppose nights like these in this world are enjoyable. Another loud bang brings me back to my task. Fumbling with my keys, I make my way to the trunk and pop it open. I can smell the nauseating stench of its fear wafting out of the trunk. Just to have some fun, I put on my best “psychotic killer” smile. I can’t help but chuckle as I say, “Oh, I see you’re awake.”

Credit To: J. Brown

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The Sealed Building

May 5, 2013 at 12:00 AM
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When I was a child, the school which I attended was peculiar yet wonderfully interesting. Whether it was the fact that it was surrounded in places by overgrown bushes and opposite a strangely crooked wood which ignited my imagination, or perhaps the funny, eccentric, and sometimes fearsome teachers and kids which populated it, I do not know. I’m not sure of when it was built, but it certainly stood out from the houses and quiet streets which surrounded it, covered as it was in a bright fiery red paint which drew your eyes to it immediately. There I went from the age of five up until I was eleven or twelve, and like most children, I have both fond and cruel memories of it.

Each day with a rucksack on my back, I would wander past the crooked wood and wave to the ‘lollipop lady’ Mrs Collins – a kind old woman who’s job it was to stop traffic with her bright yellow sign, letting us cross in safety – and after meeting my friends, walk through the rusted brown gates into one of two playgrounds.

It was rumoured that in the past the two grounds existed to separate boys from girls – both an understandable and utterly outdated concept. By the time I had went to the school, the first playground had been assigned for those aged five to eight, the second for those aged eight and up. In the older kids’ playground there lay a small red brick building which stood on its own, disconnected from the main school complex. It had long since fallen into disuse, and in fact had been sealed from prying eyes, its doors and windows walled up with stone and mortar making it impossible to see what was inside.

Its purpose seemed a bit of a mystery as most of the teachers seemed to skirt around the topic entirely, but of course stories spread amongst the wild imaginations of children, and in my school this fondness for outlandish tales of tragedy and forbidden places often led to bizarre rumours and whispers, particularly pertaining to the sealed building – obscurity is a fertile ground for the fantastical ruminations of youth.

When me and my and friends were in the younger playground, we would sometimes sneak down a narrow passageway which would lead to the other and peek around the corner. There we would see the older kids playing football or just hanging around – it is amusing how younger children look to their older peers – thinking that they seemed to be having so much more fun than us. But before we would be chased away by the janitor or a passing teacher, my eyes would always lead to that sealed building. There was something lonely about it, isolated, and while it was surrounded by the yells and vibrancy of a school yard, its appearance suggested a grave silence to me.

Some of the older kids liked to scare themselves and us, and told us dramatically that it had been used as a science department and that there had been a hideous accident there, one which had produced strange and gruesome things which had to be kept from the world – even as a child of eight I knew made up nonsense when I heard it. Then there was the account that it had been a previous and rather brutal head teacher’s office decades earlier, and that he had died there in a fire. His ghost obviously still haunted the place and it was better that the vengeful old sod be contained there, fuming at his desk as children enjoyed themselves and played nearby – again, utter garbage.

There was, however, one account of why the place had been abandoned which seemed more plausible to me. The building was in fact, a toilet. Yes, a normal toilet. No frills, no secret laboratories, no dead spirits of an overbearing head teacher. It had simply been sealed up when new facilities were installed in the school to stop the children from climbing inside and getting up to mischief. But yet, despite this mundane explanation, there were still in fact tales to be told about the red bricked, disconnected building in the older kids’ playground.

Although I had heard the stories, it wasn’t until I was in my fourth year at the school that I became intimately and, at the time, uncomfortably involved with it. The older kids’ playground was flanked on three sides by a rectangular section of the school itself, with the fourth side separated from neighbouring houses by a mouldy and dark red wall. It was isolated from the other playground – other than the aforementioned passageway – and, to further the feeling of imprisonment, was characterised by tall metal fencing which rose up in places where a brave classmate might have attempted their great escape. Yet, there was one old gate which did allow access of sorts, but like prison guards, the teachers tended to check on it regularly.

There, in the corner of the grounds, lay the old building. Its windows were indeed enclosed in brick, as were its two doors, but the roof seemed unusual to me, being flat in places and surely gathering puddles of rainwater during the wetter seasons. I was, at that age – and embarrassingly still to this day – terrified by heights and it was much to my horror when I discovered that climbing up onto the roof of the old toilets was seen as a rites of passage of some sort. Don’t misunderstand me, we weren’t forced to go up there, but children can be cruel and when someone new to that playground showed weakness, or fear, this would often result in them being picked on.

Over the coming weeks I watched as each of my friends climbed up onto the roof when the opportunity presented itself, dangling their legs over the sides nonchalantly once up there; one by one claiming their right to be in the older playground, while I succumbed to ever increasing taunts about my fear and cowardice. Don’t disbelieve me when I say, I did try. Several times a ball would be kicked accidentally onto the roof and my classmates would turn to me to retrieve it. I even made it up the side of an old drainpipe on a few occasions, far enough to reach my hand up and over to touch the roof’s surface. Yet, each time, I would fail. Fear would grip me and with each admission of defeat, the name calling and embarrassment intensified.

I can trace back a curious, and probably detrimental, aspect of my personality to that time. You see, failure in front of strangers to this day does not bother me, but friends, family, even acquaintances? The very idea makes me break out in a cold sweat. Later in life I followed the stereotypical path of chasing fame as a teenager and I would have no problem playing in bands in front of those I did not know, but put a familiar face in the audience and my nerves would take hold. The stakes of failure would be raised that much higher, in my mind at least.

For this reason I chose an odd time to truly face my fear. One day after school, I waited outside the gates, watching as the other children slowly syphoned out of the two playgrounds, kicking their feet through the autumn leaves. Parents escorted the youngest of my fellow students, while those of an older age walked with their classmates – some eagerly, others not so – making their way down the hill, passed the woods, to their homes in the surrounding area.

As the school became ever emptier, and the teachers themselves began to leave, I walked down the street, entering the gardens at the back of the building. I always found the rear of my school to be an interesting place. It consisted of shrubs, bushes, and an old ash football pitch. Our teachers never seemed to use the area for anything, and we were actively encouraged to keep clear of it. Again, there were stories amongst the students that a child had been abducted while playing there years previously, whether that was true or not, I do not know.

Once I was as certain as I could be that everyone was gone, I sneaked through the bushes up a small incline to the rear of the playground. There, embedded in the wall was the narrow brown gate which the teachers kept a watchful eye on, but as far as I knew was never used. I assumed that it had served a legitimate purpose years previously, but for me and my friends, it was the place where we would climb over to run around the school grounds at the weekend when no one was there – it was an exceptional place to play one man hunt with so many nooks and crannies to hide in.

As cautious as I was, I wanted to truly attempt to get up onto the roof of the old toilets. In my eight year old head, I had visions of sneaking up there in the morning and surprising my friends, or running up there to heroically retrieve a girl’s ball – in childhood we think that those around us really care about our actions, but in truth they are of little consequence to anyone other than ourselves. Yes, I had been bullied a little for not being as strong or as fearless as those around me, and that sense of public failure, of insecurity, while a potent sensation at a young age while in hindsight completely exaggerated, was enough to give me the courage to at least attempt the climb.

I had considered asking one of my friends to join me as I was nervous that a teacher might still be there, that I would get into trouble, and so needed a lookout, but this would only have given me someone to fail in front of. I decided to attempt it on my own. After waiting for what seemed an age, I slowly climbed over the gate, which rattled unnervingly under my movements, echoing out around the playground. Then, after hesitantly observing the hundreds of windows which dotted the school for movement, and happy enough with the absence of light emanating from them, I stepped silently to the sealed building.

Even though I knew as little as an audience of one could effect my confidence, I partly wished that I had not been alone, as the building and its deserted surroundings left me feeling uneasy. I knew, however, that if I just got up there once, that I would have conquered my fear and would be able to climb up onto the roof with ease in future. Hopefully putting any name-calling to rest.

I stood staring at the drain pipe which would be my avenue to success, clinging as it did through rusted fittings to the side of the building. My mind back then was often clouded with the worst possibilities, focusing on the most negative outcome, and as I began to climb slowly, I imagined that the drainpipe would wrench away from the wall throwing me against the concrete ground at any moment.

The truth is that it did not move, no matter how much I believed that it did. Without a witness, I was now as far as I had ever reached, able to stick my hand up above me and touch the edge of the roof. My heart raced with excitement as I began to believe that I really could do it, that success was in sight.

I then made the mistake of looking down to check my progress. The experience of height is something difficult to convey to someone who has no problem with it. While in reality I was probably no more than seven or eight feet off the ground, I perceived this as a monumental distance. I felt my stomach churn, my heart beat erratically, and the world below begin to spin and distort. Worse still, a loss of nerve permeated my body leaving me feeling weak and I could feel my grip begin to loosen.

It is strange how the mind works, for just as I was ready to admit defeat once more and retreat, the insults and jeers of my classmates rang throughout my awareness as if they were present, down there, taunting me. With what was for me a huge effort, I found myself continuing to climb upwards, my hands reaching out to the damp roof and then before I knew it, there I was.

Letting out a laugh of excitement, a sensation of relief washed over me. I could not wait for the next day. To be up there on the roof, proving those who had been cruel to me, wrong. Peeking over the edge I still felt trepidation at the height, but nowhere near as much as I had done before, my triumph quelling my anxiety.

Still, I was not too keen to remain there for long, so I decided to investigate my surroundings briefly, then climb back down to the safety of the playground and head home, ecstatic. The roof was painted in a similar fiery red colour to the main school building, but it had long since peeled and cracked suggesting that it had been a long time since someone had been up there to give it a new coat.

Standing up cautiously, I felt my legs waver slightly as my stomach churned again at the thought of how high up I was – laughable really as the height of the roof was probably no more than ten feet. Yet, no matter how nervous I was, the sense of triumph which I felt coursing through my body was truly wonderful.

I walked slowly from one side of the roof to the other, careful not to trip as I did so. The short walk from the drainpipe to the opposite ledge and back filled me with a feeling of conquest, as of someone patrolling their territory, for those brief moments that roof, that building was mine.

Just as I turned to finally make my way back to ground, I noticed that in middle of the roof there was a hole. I’m not sure how I hadn’t noticed it before, although it was quite small, big enough for me to fit my hand through and little else. Curious, I took a few careful steps and then knelt for a closer look.

Yes, there was a hole, and the light from the evening sky passed straight through it, illuminating what lay inside. I put my eye as close as possible to the opening without blocking the light and was surprised by what I saw. Down there in the darkness like a perfectly preserved tomb, the old fashioned white tiling remained intact. I could see the sinks where students years ago once washed there hands or flicked water at one another for amusement, and three stalls – cubicles with strong dark brown doors – lying there as if still used. The air inside was tinged with dust and age, yet if someone had told me that the building had been sealed only the day before, I would have believed them. All but for one thing, a layer of stagnant water which covered the floor; no doubt accumulating there from rain dripping in through the opening in the roof.

Then I became aware of a strong smell. One which left my eyes stinging slightly and my mood apprehensive. Yes, there was no doubting it, someone was smoking a cigarette nearby. My heart sank as I lay there motionless, cursing myself for taking too much time on the roof to celebrate my victory. A teacher or perhaps the janitor must have stayed behind to work late and was probably standing in the playground below. I thought that they must have been close as the smoke smelled thick and oppressive.

I lay curled up on the cold wet concrete waiting for whoever was there to leave. The now almost caustic smoke seemed to be increasing in strength and several times I had to hold my breath, frightened that I would cough and be caught. I do not believe I exaggerate when I say that I lay motionless for half an hour, yet it took me all that time to make a simple, yet unsettling observation. While I could smell the smoke – indeed feeling as if I was inhaling just as much as the unseen smoker themselves – I couldn’t see it. I would have expected to have seen the smoke rise up and over the roof top, but not even the slightest wisp was evident.

The autumn sky was now dimming and I grew frustrated as the cold damp stone below me sent chills through my body. Wishing that I had never went up there in the first place, I felt hunger approaching and knew that by now my parents would be worried about me. I persuaded myself that I could at least dip my head over the edge of the roof and quickly take a look to see who was there. Maybe if they were on the other side of the yard I could climb down unseen. I slid across the roof as quietly as I could and slowly peered downward, sure to not make any sudden movements to attract attention.

There was no one there. The playground was empty and the darkened windows of the main school building seemed as vacant as they had done before. Yet the smell and taste of cigarette smoke still filled my lunges and stung my eyes. Then, I witnessed something which rooted me to the spot. A single curling strand of smoke slid upward through the hole in the roof – someone was down there. Someone was inside that room beneath me.

This seemed impossible. As far as I was aware there was no way inside. The building had been sealed off perfectly from the outside world, yet there it was: A puff of cigarette smoke which escaped first from the mouth of someone unseen below, and then through the hole in the roof to where I had been lying.

My triumph of finally facing my fear of heights seemed a distant memory, and now all I could think of was getting off of that roof to safety down below. But the hole lay between myself and the drainpipe, and curiosity being as gripping a mindset as any, I decided to take a quick look inside before quietly making my escape and leaving the building behind.

As I approached the opening, the smell of smoke grew stronger still, and as I peered inward the thought of ‘don’t look’ filtered through my mind. But it was too late. I had looked. At first, there was nothing. The room below seemed darker than had done before, but this could be explained by the dimming sky and my eyes adapting to the change. What could not be explained was the noise I heard coming from inside.

It seemed distant at first, indistinct and uncertain. Then it gradually took form, to me sounding like someone choking. I smiled to myself thinking that it was probably the cigarette smoke and that maybe some local kids had a den down there, but then suddenly, in the gloom, my eyes were drawn to one of the cubicles. Its door was closed and yet I was not convinced that it had been before. I tilted my head closer to the hole, but my angle of view shrouded the inside from inspection.

As the choking sound increased in volume, so to did the smell of smoke. Then sound and smell were joined by something which chilled my very soul. I panicked, and let out a cry as the door quivered with impact as of someone violently kicking it from the other side. Smoke now filled my lungs and as my eyes watered I could barely see anything both inside the building and out.

Then, it stopped. The choking sound had disappeared, and the smell of smoke had simply vanished. For a moment I started to think that I had imagined it all. I gasped for air, drawing deep into my lungs, only for terror to take me once more. In the dark silence; in the cold, damp, and forgotten room below. The sound of footsteps in water filled the air. Then, the cubicle door slowly began to creak open.

I can’t say entirely what took place after that. I believe I’ve blocked much of it from my memory. Apparently the head master – an intimidating yet kind man by the name of Mr McKay – had been in his office working late on the other side of the building. When he was disturbed by the sound of my screams, he rushed outside and found me on the roof curled up into a ball, paralysed with fear, sobbing. After some reassuring words, he helped me down and took me to his office where he once again guaranteed that I was safe, and then phoned for my parents to come and pick me up.

I trusted Mr McKay implicitly and as I fought the tears back I described everything which had happened. The roof, the smoke, the cubicle. As I told him my story, the blood drained from my head master’s face. I have long thought about what he told me in that office after hearing my account. Perhaps he wished to frighten me so that I and others would never venture up there again, and looking back it does seem to be a strange thing to share with an already frightened child otherwise. But he seemed genuinely disturbed by the events I had conveyed to him.

He told me that years before I had went to the school there had been a tragedy there involving a twelve year old girl, one who he refused to name. She had a reputation for being difficult. The teachers tried their best, sympathising with her as she came from an abusive background, but they found her almost impossible to control, as she often threatened violence and had been suspended several times for fighting with other students.

One day she decided to skip a class and had managed to persuade two other girls to join her by promising them a cigarette each. So, as the story went, the girls sneaked away when the bell for class rang, and hid in the toilets. The details of what occurred afterwards were less than forthcoming, but what was clear was that the poor girl had a seizure of some kind and died there and then. The other girls claimed that they had already left before this happened, but there were rumours and accusations of which most only whispered, but many believed. It was suggested that the girl had been with her friends when the seizure took place, and out of fear of getting caught smoking and skipping class, they lifted their friend into the stall, closed the door over and then left her there. Whether they believed that she would perhaps recover or not was the subject of much speculation. The scratches and bashes on the inside of the cubicle suggested most definitely that she had continued to convulse while there, perhaps even in an uncoordinated attempt to escape and call out for help.

In the aftermath the building was closed off and the school and community attempted as best they could to put the tragedy behind them. Perhaps Mr McKay made the whole thing up just to terrify me, taking what I had thought I’d experienced and using it to concoct a story designed to scare me away from ever going back to that place.

Unfortunately, a few unwelcome things transpired after that. I did indeed avoid the roof of that sealed building at all costs. My fear of heights was nothing compared to the dread which that building then held for me. My schoolmates of course did not believe my version of things, accusing me of lying about the entire story just to avoid being made fun of. As far as they were concerned, I never got up there. Lastly, I did have a recurring dream throughout my childhood, one which I would wake from in a cold sweat, curled up in my bed, screaming. I know that in it I would be lying on that roof, peering down through the hole into that abandoned place, but the memory always seems vague somehow. All that is left is an impression, of a cubicle door creaking open, and something staring up at me from within.

Credit To – Michael Whitehouse

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Love Letter

May 4, 2013 at 12:00 AM
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Hello Darling,

I am writing because I now realize that our relationship is fast approaching its end. While I’d love to believe it could go on forever, I’ve (reluctantly of course) grown tired of our silly routines. The spark has simply faded, and I can’t help but hold myself responsible. From the very first time I peered through your window, I knew that you were special. You were different from the rest, and I still believe that. There is something so interesting, so… desirable about the way you carry yourself. The things you do when you believe you are alone. Watching you is what has kept me here for so very long.

In fact, I remember vividly the first time I watched you sleep. You were so peaceful, yet right when I feared I was wrong about you, that I may grow bored of you so early… A laugh. You surprised me, love. You were never like the rest. There is no way you could’ve been. That is why I fell in love with you. You intrigued me. Nothing made me happier than to spend time with you, To see you in your natural state. Did you know that people are most themselves when no one else is around?

Yes, things were so magical then. Now I’ve taken to watching you carry out the same routine over and over. You go to work, buy groceries and that is it. What has happened to you? You were once so full of life, now you’re reduced to chores and hiding in bed. I have not heard a single laugh in months. Do you realize how much I miss it? I don’t think you could ever understand how much you mean to me. How it pains me to hear you cry like that.

I told myself you would never hurt me. That you could never even try. Unfortunately, dear that is where you began to resemble the others. What a pity. Tell me, do you remember the first time we spoke? That day was meant to be so special. I followed you to work that morning, hardly able to contain myself… The excitement of speaking with you that day was far too great. This was at the height of my love for you, in my eyes you could do no wrong. I meticulously planned our meeting, you would never know that I had followed you, and watched you all of these months.

Although when I gathered my courage to speak with you on the train, I was simply disregarded by you. I doubt that you remember our conversation, or the fact that you attempted to ignore me to begin with. I could wager anything in the world that you could not even recall my name if asked today! The conversation was nothing like I had imagined, you dimly passed my attempts at starting it with short answers. Every part of you seemed to reject me, before you even knew me. That hurt, darling.

When I realized that, I let slip a few things I knew from our time at home. Of course I know about your social life, your quirky habits, and even your favorite drinks. I expected a warmer reaction to say the least, I was the one who went out of my way to see you, wasn’t I? I knew I understood you in ways that no one else could! That was when you stopped going out. You seemed to want to close yourself off from the world. As if to take your rejection one step further, your whimsical nature seemed to go missing once you knew about me. Did you want to hide all of yourself away from me, to even take away our time at home?

I didn’t mean to startle you, or scare you away… I love you. I can now say that possibly going to speak with you a second time was my own mistake, and for that I apologize. I was foolish to come to your doorstep, even though it felt like such familiar terrain. You have to understand how lost I was. I had let my emotions escalate, soon it was not enough to see you. To watch you. No I needed more of you than that. I needed to interact with you once more!

Having said that, our painfully short conversation, and a door in my face… Well doesn’t sit well with me. I would simply love an apology for that. What disappoints me the most is that just like the others, you will apologize, though you won’t mean it. I know this because a weapon is a great persuader. After that everything you will do will simply be out of pity. You will see me as crazy, and reject me all over again. You will comply simply to make me feel better. I can’t stand pity, and I don’t want yours.

That is why we must bring this to a conclusion. That way you will be mine forever, we can skip through the usual process as I’ve done all of that before. I will end this before the restraining orders, before I begin to get bitter. While good memories are still young. Even now that I know things are going awry, I can still look at you with no contempt.

You may wonder now, what will become of you? I can assure you darling, just as in life you will be treated nothing like the others. I think I’ll tie ribbons around cut off locks of your lovely hair. They’ll make great decorations for my bedroom. Perhaps I’ll put a tack through them so that they may hang above my bed. Your ribs may find their way onto my living room wall, especially close to the fireplace. That way, I will always know that your bones are warm there by the fire. Finally, I found an antique tear catcher so that your final tears could be encased in it, and that I may have you with me always.

Don’t mistake me, my pet… I’ve never treated anyone, or their remains with such reverence. You are special, and you are mine. Even when I am done with you and we are separated more… permanently, I will still be yours. I will always be yours, with each victim that comes subsequently, even if there ever were a person who could return my affections… You will remain special among all of those who have fallen by my hand.

Love,
Your not so secret admirer

Credit To – Kaitlyn

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