Chat
It was a regular Friday night and I was up late chatting to my friend Bradley on this virtual chat room we had found online. He told me and the other guys who we had just met, that he was able to stay up as late as he wanted, because his parents were away until the weekend and he had the house to himself. We stayed on there for a few hours having fun with these random people, and I noticed Bradley had taken a liking to one girl in particular. Soon enough, my mum began calling out for me to go to sleep. As I was about to log off, I asked Bradley what he was doing tomorrow, thinking he might want to stop by my place. He didn’t reply for a while, until:
“Bradley is typing a message.”
Then it went blank.
“Bradley is typing a message.”
Nothing again.
“Whatever man, I’m going to bed we’ll talk about it tomorrow.” I said. It was strange for him to just stop replying like that.
I didn’t hear from him again until the next day when I logged on to the chat site and he was on. He apologised for not replying last night and said he had just been busy. We had a brief exchange, and he said he would come over soon, saying it was urgent. That was fine, but queried him why he didn’t want to wait to see his parents first, who would be home any minute. He insisted there was no time because he had something really important to show me, and then logged straight off. I thought that was out of character for him, as he usually put his family before anything, and I grew curious at what he wanted to show me so badly.
I expected him to be over soon, as he only lived about twenty minutes away, when I received a disturbing phone call. It was Bradley’s parents, who had just come home and were sounding extremely worried. They asked if I knew anything on Bradley’s whereabouts, to which I told them not to worry, because he was in fact on his way over. The phone fell silent for a moment until I heard a deathly scream from the mother in the background on the other end of the line. The father drew a deep breath, and bravely strung together a sentence that I’ll never forget. “Get out of the house now. Bradley’s here… He’s dead.” They had found Bradley’s lifeless body hung up like a coat in the wardrobe. I ended the call in shock, as it became apparent why he had asked if I would be home alone, when suddenly I heard the back door creak open.
Instinctively, I did the first thing I could think of and quickly crawled under my bed to hide. I heard the sound of footsteps coming closer, ever so slowly. I dared not to open my eyes, but when I dreadfully peaked through my fingers, I saw these pale white, cold, bare feet coming in to my room, almost in slow motion. I would hate to see the person such feet belonged to. As they slowly approached the bed, you could hear the dampness of the footsteps peeling away from the floorboards; my heart was pounding in my mouth and I held my breath. Just when I couldn’t possibly get any more scared, my phone let off a loud beep to notify me that I had received a message. It was from Bradley’s phone and read: “Where are you?” as the feet stopped abruptly, dead in their tracks…
Credit To: Jack
Chat,
What? I dont get it… so it was Bradley? but i thought he was dead? or did the killer have Brad’s phone? huh?
Sad that this is the first comment: ( that was an awesome pasta: )
In case you still don’t know,The white feet that the guy saw belonged to Bradley,or at least,his dead body
NO NO NO c’mon guys
Whoever had the “white feet” was using Bradley’s computer and phone and was communicating with the narrator. Obviously he/she killed Bradley, went over to the narrator’s house and texted the narrator. AMAZING pasta, you just ruined it for yourself.
I don’t get it much either, why is the killer going out of his way to go to the narrator’s house when he could of just told him to come over and kill him and Bradley’s parents?
its a story, not an analytical essay on what to do when some undead beasty is coming for you.
The one thing I don’t get is the narrator’s phone’s location. Is it in his pocket or is it somewhere else in the room? Because if it was in his pocket, he has a chance.
Oooo very creepy! Excellent!
The reason Bradley stopped responding was because he was dead and the killer, or ghost I guess, was actually the one who was messaging him.
Ugh lol.. that was meant for the guy above you XD
Hated the intro with the whole chat room thing~
The rest was pretty solidly creepy, though, I’d say 8/10 is pretty fair. Nicely done.
hated the intro? dont listen to him. this was a great piece. every story needs a builder and space for clarity. Loved it 8 out of 10 as well for me.
Woah, freaky! Great story, I got a bit of a chill when I read the last part. Well done!
This story was awesome.! Cudos Jack on your great story..!
This reminds me of “Skype.” Quite ambitious, and the ending made sense after I thought about it. 8/10
I liked the end, but the intro just seemed unnecessary. And the way in which he died was never explained. Did he kill himself? If so, why did he abruptly stop typing? Why did he hang himself in the wardrobe? How does that even work?
Still, pretty good. 7/10
You probably didn’t read it thoroughly. It was explained in the story, the monster, who was actually the one messaging, was also the killer of Bradley, who was hung in the closet.
You fail, read it again.
Pretty good, although “you could hear the dampness… ” sounds really amateurish. “I could hear the dampness…” Would work so much better.
really ?
Yes really. The rest of the piece is written in first person, so “I” is appropriate. And “you” would be referring to the reader, who is not in the story, which seems inappropriate. Even if “you” were being used colloquially, in place of “one” it seems strange for the first person narrator to stop telling us what they are experiencing in order to relate what another hypothetical observer might experience were they also there.
Well considering the fact that the rest of the story was written fairly well, i think you could simply overlook the error instead of making yourself look like a no life loser who sits and over analyzes creepypastas
I was offering constructive criticism — I thought that was the point of the comments.
You clearly don’t understand the point of creepypasta. It’s not to scare yourself by reading, you’re offering feedback to aspiring authors.
I normally don’t comment on pastas as to not offend the chef but damn jack, I could nom on this pasta every night and still get cravings.
wait, is this good or bad?
The intro? Nah man, that was normal. People screw around all the time by starting to type and then stop. Nothing weird at all in that! Anyway, Pretty good pasta. When they found Bradly dead I started going ” Oh Sh@t Sh@t Sh@t!!!!!” Very creepy!
The intro was crap, I saw the ending from a mile away, and I STILL enjoyed this pasta very much! Don’t know how you did it, but it worked for me – sent chills down my spine.
Also… the main character didn’t really die in the end, right? Since he’s telling the story.
just… epic…
This one is awesome!
Loved it.
Pretty damn good.
Put the damn phone on silent
Exactly! Hell, turn off vibrate as well!
When I read he heard his phone beeping, I though:”You poor sod.”
Nice story though, I’d say it’s a 7/10.
Why is there someone who downvotes all your comments for no reason?
Anyways – AWESOME PASTA
Quick and dirty. I like.
Lol im always gmail chatting with my friends and occasionally that same thing will happen… This gave me the chills a bit. Nicely done pasta!
So…your friends are murdered, and the killer comes to your house occasionally? Seems legit.
Lol…
I don’t get it….. Bradley never asked if the main character was home alone or not?
Well, shit. My name is Bradley. ;-;
Lol “Megan W” fail
I vaguely remember a classic pasta that does this same “IM from a dead friend” thing, albeit in a purer manner, and I honestly prefer that one. This stopped making sense halfway through the phonecall with the guy’s Dad.
And then I skimmed it again and realised the first scene had basically nothing to do anything, and if it was supposed to, well, that didn’t come across. So another point for the classic pasta.
Why would the father be panicking about getting out of the house because he found his son’s body? I mean, sure, he’d panic or whatever, but why would he specifically want to get out of the house above all other things?
Pretty sure the dad was telling the main character to get out of his house, since who (or what)ever impersonated, and killed, his friend was clearly dangerous and heading his way as they spoke.
I really enjoyed it! especially since I am always chatting haha 9/10
I’ve heard better Pasta’s consulting chat rooms, but this one was still kinda creepy.
7/10 from me.
So, this “girl” he had taken a liking to was the killer? And was it the killer or Bradley’s ghost in the house?