“And that’s because you’re a spoiled brat!” Says my mother… You know, it’s not great knowing that your parent’s last words toward you were pretty damn harsh. But whatever, you know? I got out of there, once and for all, so I wouldn’t have to deal with the crap-school, the crap-cops and so on… Just because I see what goes on when no one else is looking doesn’t mean that I’m insane. I didn’t wish this upon myself and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone else. This…. This plague, it comes on daily, I start feeling sick and I… I see things, things that are hard at work trying to make me and everyone else miserable… I’ve seen them cause death, sickness, accidents, small injuries, a cut from the razor my father was shaving with. I wouldn’t call them imps, but some creatures that don’t like being seen. I think they like me for some reason… They like to smell me, I don’t like for them to be near me. They sometimes poke at my ribs and nod their heads or shake them and squabble amongst eachother.
Anyways, I wanted to tell anyone I can about how these little devils work… And how my mother’s and other’s stories have ended, because I’m sure that I don’t have much more time than enough to write this, they’re getting violent. After a while of looking at them and studying them they look kind of like little humans, only more violent and prone to pranks on us. When stepped on they’ll trip you, when their pranks are brushed off easily they’ll progress to more brutal ones. I’ve learned to avert their gazes more than I used to, because there’s ways to avoid even death if you know how these things work. They go for reactions from us, the more surprised we are the happier they are…
So for example, if you trip, and just keep walking, they’ll trip you when you’re carrying something heavy later, I’ve seen that happen a few times. Ugh, they’re getting matches to burn down my shelter, at least they can’t see me yet. Look, heed my words, if something small bad happens to you without explanation, you might want to provide a bit more of a reaction than you would think to… It may save your life, and look… I think I’ll be writing to the living from the dead here, so I’ll make this quick. Danny, I mean Dad, I love you, I always have and I’m sorry for not showing it. Brianna, you have my heart even in death, and no, I did not commit suicide, I know you think I was insane and all… But I don’t want you following in my footsteps into the world beyond either.
To my sister and cousins, I believe that Brianna and Eric should be married, I hope the kid grows up good, and that you guys can keep your life above the influence and on the path of your God. Ethan, I know for damn sure that you and I… And your brothers shared blood, stay proud of that. Now for the final part of this little testament of mine. My mother and I were in a fight, she claimed that I was a stubborn brat and that I was only “Seeing these things to get attention.” See, that’s where they got real excited… Kind of angered, but more excited, they knew that someone knew they were there and I got that horrible feeling again, she went to grab a kitchen knife from a drawer to finish cutting the fish and… That.. Those… Those little fuckers made her drop it and tripped her… She landed with the knife centered in her throat, I couldn’t take anymore of this, I had to take those bastards with me, I grabbed the knife and Slashed at a few of them… It didn’t work… Their bodies mended back together, but they were insulted and decided that I had to go with my mother, not before I could get to my room and lock the door, funny how weak the little things are all together.
But I couldn’t just stay there until they went away or I rotted, I had to run, I ran for days, I got away from most of them, but they’re scattered everywhere. The few that I tried to kill found me… Tried to kill me but I got away again, I created a small shelter against them… Used my fists and a couple of walls made from wooden poles to protect myself, they don’t like resistance, they got a little timid for a while, but then decided to dig me out, and they’ve created a… Cooking pit, I think it’s for me. They’ve realized that I’m not in the shelter… Okay, I’m going to face them, if anyone finds this, transport it back to 501, Quail Hill, Hamlet, NC. Thank you, and watch for signs. If you notice them… Try to spread this word, I know it sounds crazy… Probably because… I’m a spoiled brat.
Credit To: TerKoiz
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Lots of promise…but abrupt ending.
It seems like the author got bored after the fourth paragraph, and just wrapped it up real quick.
Bored now. TT_TT 1/10
I’ve constantly been asked whether I’m the guy from stickpage, and no, I’m not, I just happened to come up with the same name. But anyways, my first story done, just kinda wanted to try out and see how a story off the top of my head would work, I promise my next work will be of more… Work.
reminds me of the gristers :D
The bookends really didn’t work for this story, and I found the idea of little imps trying to kill people by tripping them HILARIOUS. Seriously, they sound like mischievous pranksters, not monsters. Sorry.
Terkoiz from stickpage?
No
bleh I’ve definitely read better…
u can callmemrs.schlongservaugen andi did not like this story.
Overcooked.
The story itself wasn’t great, but it was passable.
The creatures being “watching us all the time, but we can’t see them” type things is very cliche, and seems to have become even more so of late.
Other than that, my only real complaint was the “spoiled brat” nonsense. I know that writers think it’s very clever to end on a similar note to how you start. Going “full circle.” We see it all the time in books, TV, movies etc.
It’s not nearly as clever as they think it is. It’s tired. It’s cliche. Even when it’s handled well, it still smacks of desperation by the writer to try and seem more clever than he/she really is.
This time however, was not handled well at all. It was very forced and didn’t even make a lot of sense at the end.
My point? Doing the “full circle” thing never makes a bad story into a good story. It can, however, make an OK story into a crap story, by giving the reader something obvious to complain about.
Language’s too jumpy.
I’m kind of confused as to why this person told their mother about the little creatures, if all they want out of anyone is a reaction, why not give it to them? If there was something more cynical and dangerous to them, I would have impressed upon that a little more instead of just saying a few times that it’s the little mishaps that people run into that these creatures are responsible for. It could be a scary with a little something more.
It was probably the first few times he saw the creature and had no idea they react to reactions. And his mom got killed.
Sorta bland. Wasn’t creepy at all. 1/10