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Silence in the Rain

Estimated reading time — 6 minutes

The cat walked slowly across the concrete, pausing to lick its paw in the middle. It sat there in the moonlight, just watching the skies and heavy rain. The clouds swirled, and the night was young. Perhaps it could find a confused mouse, or a drowned frog in this time. Its tail moved with anticipation of it’s hunt.

A chain-link gate swung open with surprising speed, startling the cat, resulting in a hissy fit. The man who opened it carried no thought of the terrible weather, cat, or of anything else he was up against. Yelling an obscenity, he ran as fast as he could through the opening. That thing wasn’t getting him, no way. He sprinted through the gate, and into the alleyway. He didn’t know why, and he didn’t know how, but something was following him. His first inclination was when he kept seeing this menacing figure at every turn. No matter where he went, he kept seeing it. He had thought that it might be a person following him at first, but that had quickly changed when he saw the height and shape of the being.

Great, a fork in the alley. Mark, sped towards the right. Not because of any good feeling, but because he knew whatever it was would catch up no matter which way he went.

The figure always seemed to be two steps ahead of him. Every time he turned around, it was there, silent as the night, just watching him. He could never make out it’s features in the rain, as it blurred his vision. He could tell it was tall, and seemed to have black and white skin, with the black covering the legs and torso. He had figured since it didn’t move when it was being watched, he could look at it and just keep it frozen. It worked, but when he stared at it, he felt sick, like something was clawing its way out of him. His worst memories resurfaced in his brain, among them an embarrassing date, a lost pet, his sister’s funeral… he had turned away, and crawled for a few seconds until he could stand up again. Then he ran far from the creature, the thing that, like his memories, he could not seem to escape.

Suddenly Mark slipped on a giant puddle, interrupting his thoughts. immediately, his jeans and hoodie became soaked on contact. Picking himself up from the water, the feeling to look back was too great. He turned around. There it stood, as real and frightening as ever. What really startled him was that it was closer because of his tumble, only a mere twenty feet away. Trying not to scream, in case that triggered a reaction from the creature, he spun around and ran.

The rabbit may not know of the fox, but it will sense danger when it presents itself. This was not unlike the feeling he felt right now. He didn’t know what it was, or why it wanted him, but he felt in his genetic memory that this thing was a great threat. If this thing was chasing him, it’d probably chased other people. Which meant that nobody had gotten away from this thing ever.

Or else they didn’t live long afterward to tell the tale.

Mark ran out of the alleyway, and into the street. The rain had been coming down hard, he knew that, but until now he hadn’t realized how much. The street was overflowing with water. It was even coming onto the sidewalks. A flash flood. He wasn’t really surprised nobody was out, even if it was New York. With this weather, everyone else would be inside closed and locked doors. Leaving him alone with…

Realizing his mistake, he threw himself into the street, while turning around. The figure had come to a stop about ten feet from where he was. Then he went under the water.

It was a little surprising being underwater in a city street, but at least it wasn’t deep. Finding a hold in the asphalt, he pushed himself up, and out of the water. Looking around, he found that the street was going uphill, or downhill depending how you look at it. This meant that there was a slight current in the water. Not enough to pull him away, but enough to make him unsteady. Mark looked around, frantic about the creature’s whereabouts. In the pouring rain, he couldn’t see ten feet in front of him. If the creature really wanted him, then he was about as vulnerable as he could have possibly been. Looking around, he finally spotted it about a yard away.

This close, and in the rain, it looked like something out of a horror movie. It stood around eight feet tall at first glance, but as he tried to find it’s head, it just seemed to get taller, like an endless ladder. Looking closely at it, he noticed that what he had originally thought was skin, was actually a formal suit, complete with a tie. It was both comical and terrifying at the same time, much like a clown. it took an ordinary object, and perverted it, twisting it into something sick. Upon even closer inspection, he realized it was far from perfect. It had large rips in the tie, and one sleeve was torn off about half way up. It had many tears in the fabric, and was stained with several foreboding rust colored spots. But when he finally found it’s face, he screamed. It wasn’t that there was no face, but it was just so horrible that his mind immediately erased the image from his head every second he spent staring at it. He literally could not remember what it was, but it terrified him beyond belief.


Snapping himself out of his trance, he moved to the right, narrowly avoiding a- tentacle? How had he missed that? Ducking, he closely evaded decapitation from another. Remembering the current, he threw himself down the street, being swept away with the current down the hill. The entity did not follow.

Floating down, unable to get a grip, Mark just tried to stay up on his butt while sliding. Looking ahead, he found to his horror, that the creature was already at the bottom of the large hill. Using his feet to steer, he sped himself towards a lamp-post on the side-walk. Reaching out, he attempted to grab it, only to find himself falling. Grabbing the edge of the sidewalk, as to not be swept in, he realized there must be an open sewer grate below him, unseen in the water. Cursing, he tried to pull himself up. Looking to his right, he spotted the figure about sixty yards away now. Gripping the concrete he tried to heave himself up. Another quick glance to his right.

Twenty feet away.

Giving it up, Mark let go and fell with the water. After four seconds of terrifying free fall, he hit the ground. Hearing a crack and experiencing extreme pain, he moved his left leg. It felt fine. Then the other. Once he moved it, he felt incredibly intense pain at the base of his thigh. That meant it was his hip. Shit. Trying to stand up, he found he couldn’t. The pain was too unbearable. He started crawling, knowing he had to get away. Dragging himself across the ground, he came to the sewer canal that carried rain water and gunk under the street. Looking to his left, he thought he saw a light. He couldn’t tell, as his vision was blurry. Funnily enough, it got cloudier. Then the sick feeling started again, along with the memories. Realizing his fate, he tried to drag himself into the canal so he could drown. Surely it would be a more peaceful death then whatever this being had in store for him.


Right as his body fell in, he felt a tendril grab him by the ankle, and lift him out of the water. Flipping him right side up, he hung there, looking at the creature for the first time, face to face. He was filled with unimaginable terror. It’s body radiated evil, and he vomited from the sickness, again and again. Then he felt two claw-like fingers lightly position themselves on his eyes. He tensed up realizing what it was about to do.

. . .

The woman opened her apartment room window. Looking out into the rain, she had thought she heard screams. But there was silence but for the rain now. There was no point looking outside anyway, there was nothing to see. The rain must have been coming down very hard, as it became. She thought about her mother, and the familiar sadness washed over her. She turned away from the window. Sitting down by the lamp, she began to read a book. Looking up slightly, she was startled to think she had briefly seen the faint outline of a man outside her window. But that was impossible. Her room was on the fifth floor of the building. She laughed at her absurd thought.

Then she saw the other shadow standing next to her own.

Credit To – The Doctor

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81 thoughts on “Silence in the Rain”

    1. YOU LIE!

      Nah, sorry Portal joke with your username. Anyway, thanks for reading! I’ve got another story ready to go once next submission period opens.

  1. Sobellium69:
    Id be sure to read it! And its no problem doctor no problem at all. I do have one more thing to say, I was honest in my feedback, how do I have thumbs down? I know it wasn’t you but still wth? Shouldn’t comments only be thumbed down if they suck or berate the author for crappy reasons?

    says the man who gave The Doctor said score and said “your a great writer”. YOU’RE***

  2. It’s sad that instead of immersing themselves in a scary story, some people hang up in grammatical deficiencies. I really like that his face isn’t blank. It’s just so horrible that the mind blocks it out as a defense mechanism. Nice touch

  3. Very good story, I was excited about what was going to happen next all the way through it. My rating for the story, 10/10, I dont care about all the gramatical errors, everyone still understands what the Doctor was trying to say. Anyways, good story Doc. Cant wait for another story!!!

  4. This pasta kept me reading throughout the story. Other pastas make me bored…but this had excitement at every turn. I liked especially how you made the narrator feel what the protagonist felt, and how you showed the story first from the cat, to set the scene, then from the man, to state the story, then from the woman, to conclude.

  5. Man I love slenderman I mean if he was real everyone would be dead but….. I don’t care I still love him. Slender is my most favorite creepypasta stories ever…. Very nice job doctor!!!!!!!!

  6. Hey anyone know wut is gonna happen to the girl well I do. Another thing is I hope everyone knows this because U CANNOT ESCAPE THE SLENDERMAN….. he’s way to powerful. If he was real u and I would probably be dead by now… good story too I love slender…… he’s my favorite.

  7. So this us a precourser to the Slender story, which I think is the origional? Bravo, Doctor. You’ve officialy scared the leader of the Gallifreyan High Council half to death.

  8. nightmare dreams

    Amazing have some potential the doctor. If you have more story’s can you tell me. I want to see how great you could be.(not like you need anymore,your awesome!!!)1010

    . :P

  9. Meh. I haven’t been a fan of any Slenderpasta, not even the first ones I read, but this was decent. As someone else said, this seems to be rated a bit on the high side. Maybe people have just seen so many bad ones that this is good?

    Oh well. Almost the entire story was just a chase. I say “just” because there’s no story other than “it’s chasing me”, no plot besides “I’m running and going to die” (although the epiphany in the middle about nobody surviving was a nice touch), and the ending.. well, it’s after someone else now. Woo, dat bloodlust must work up an appetite somethin’ fierce, hmm?

    6/10, if only for your writing skills.

  10. I overall thought this was a good pasta. I like how you didn’t completely give away that it was Slendy in the beginning. I also like how the character broke his leg, adding another problem to his “escape”

  11. –/10
    I don’t really feel like I can give this pasta a rating, because I am left utterly without an opinion about it. It didn’t evoke any emotion from me, which I suppose should earn it a lower mark. However I cannot think of an appropriate ranking, therefore I give none. The story is lacking.
    Mechanics wise, the grammar was not particularly good, with an abundance of inconsistencies. It also had a repetitive style of wording, which was displeasing. Interesting portrayal of Slender, but overall quite bland to my tastes.

  12. rastak8: the narration was good,he described the setting as something imaginable but the story was a bit cut short. It was like a ripped page in a was not bad but needs a little more push..

  13. It was alright he described the setting as something imaginable but the story was a bit cut short. It was like a ripped page in a was not so bad but needs more direction..

  14. To everybody saying it’s the Silence from Doctor Who;

    it is not. I am a HUGE fan of doctor who, but this is a slender-pasta. I chose my name because of my love for Doctor Who (and I was the only critic called “The Doctor” on crappypasta, which is where I’m usually at, criticizing other pastas). But my name has nothing to do with the content of the story.

  15. Gwy:
    Had a lot of potential, but ultimately failed. I’m a huge fan of slenderpasta, but felt that it should’ve been more drawn out and a bit more… I don’t know. It was just missing something.

    Actually I think it was supposed to be an altered version of Doctor Who’s The Silence

  16. You just took the silence and weeping angels and smashed them into one terrifying being. I won’t be sleeping tonight!

  17. Sorry, I seam to have lost my coat, could I please buy a new one? It’s not easy to be Slender Man without my coat…

  18. Very good, but I feel like giving the protagonist a name kind of took away from it. No one else had a name, and I feel like the anonymity of the people in the story helps give it that eerie feel. Just my thoughts, but very well done regardless.

  19. Very well done Creepypasta, and i do believe it is Slendy. I have to say, when i found out the man’s name was Mark, i breifly thought about the YouTuber, Markiplier, until the part about it being in New York. Nonetheless, it was a great pasta.

    1. So did I! I love Markiplier! High five! And he does a lot of slender videos as well, hey, Doctor, if you read this was that intentional or unintentional?

  20. At first I thought Slender, but when I saw it was by the Doctor, I thought it was about the Silence from Doctor Who. But after the tentacle comment it has to be Slender Man, right? I don’t remember the silence having tentacles.

  21. Sounds like it’s about The Silence from Doctor Who, they make you forget that you’ve seen them and the reference to “The Doctor” makes it seem even more like that’s what the thing is.

  22. Matteo:
    Its well written but honestly I cant understand why anyone has ever been afraid of Slenderman, just seems so silly to me.

    Do you want A fucking creature ckne to tear open your eyes and strangle you with its tentacles?

  23. I don’t know how this one got a rating of 8, it’s a pretty poor pasta. Also, what compelled me to this comment ultimately, how could you NOT know the difference between ‘it’s’ and ‘its’? I noticed that multiple times. ‘It’s’ means ‘it is’. Get your grammar straight.

    1. Believe it or not, I only noticed that AFTER I submitted it. I went back to the original and corrected every mistake, but I can’t do anything here. :P

      1. Reply to the acceptance email with the edited version and I can make the changes here.

        It’s best if you just paste your full edited pasta into a thing and send me the link.

        1. There! Email has been sent. I hope the errors from before weren’t enough to turn people away from it!

    1. You just made me think of that… other Slenderpasta. The creepiest one of the lot, at least out of those that made it here, but certainly not because of Slendy.
      You know, the one with the fanboy.
      And the nipples on the window.
      Only, thanks to your comment, fanboy became Silence. Thank you for that, you just made the whole thing… either worse or better or something, I can’t really tell, but it’s horrifying and hilarious and just– I need to go get that image out of my head. Like right now.

  24. Ah, by the doctor. Assuming it’s the same doctor from crappypasta but, I easily could be wrong. That’s the only reason I read it too. The first bit I enjoyed. Not too much though it fell into normal slenderman is chasing me and I’m obviously going to die. Though the last paragraph is what caught my intention and was where I hoped you would add some twist that would saved it from the boring cliches but, you stole the twist.

    “As Nicole walked into her sister’s hospital room the first time, she thought she had spied the silhouette of a man in the window. That, she knew, was impossible. Her sister’s room was on the third story of the hospital.”

    You stole it from the original “Slenderman”. Even then that twist was weak. I don’t like the original Slenderman at all. He does nothing! She just slips and spills coffee on herself. You know what? This is better than the “Slenderman” The build up is much better and slenderman actually does something. I like it but, not a lot. Like I said with the original twist wasn’t good and it isn’t any better here. The build while nice not enough to scare me as there was no suspense because like slenderman cliche handbook says

    “The victim must die after being stalked for five minutes.”
    I could see fans of the original liking it because it is an improved version but, if you’re not a fan it’s okay. 6/10

    1. Thanks for the comment! Yes, I am the same Doctor from Crappypasta. I looked through all of the good slenderpastas, and the crappy ones, to see which elements were good and which were bad. I left the name “slenderman” out completely. And the last paragraph wasn’t stolen. I intentionally did that, as a nod to the first one. I wanted to show that, with the right ingredients, Slender-Man could still be scary, not just a deafult go-to for all the creepypasta writers out there. Consider it a rebirth, if you will. Believe me though, I have new original material coming in, and I’m not even going to try giving a rebirth to Jeff. That would just be insane.

  25. Its well written but honestly I cant understand why anyone has ever been afraid of Slenderman, just seems so silly to me.

    1. As the current slenderman ‘facts’ tell us, I can see why you would think that. I am in the process of writing a slenderman-esque story, and hope to bring a new face to Sir Slenderman.

  26. I thought this was rather good, great description made me feel great fear. I like the twist on what I thought was Slenderman (Correct me if it wasn’t, but it sure sounded like Ol’ Slendy) and it was nice to finally see a new story that was really good about Slendy and made him scary, but at the same time Im also really disappointed cause I and many other Creepypasta readers get sick of the same character being used again and again, such as Jack the Killer and Senderman. However, I will not hold this against the story since it wasn’t a fanboy Slendyfiction creepypasta. 9/10 just because of some minor grammatical errors. Great story, your a good writer and I will definitely read more of you on this sight.

      1. Id be sure to read it! And its no problem doctor no problem at all. I do have one more thing to say, I was honest in my feedback, how do I have thumbs down? I know it wasn’t you but still wth? Shouldn’t comments only be thumbed down if they suck or berate the author for crappy reasons?

        1. I have no idea. I guess a lot of people just didn’t like the pasta, or what you had to say that was positive about it.

        2. U have an 8/10, so you must have done something right! Either way, Im looking forward to reading some of your other pastas Doctor, Slenderman or No slender man (hopefully none, I really have a distaste for our tall white friend)

        3. For some people, writing anything other than “OMG What a great story! You’re so talented! I can find absolutely no faults with this pasta! You should write a book! You are perfect and special and should be showered with praise for all eternity!” is a huge no-no. You were perfectly nice and explained your reasoning, but your feedback was ever so slightly negative so you get a down-vote. These people are idiots who are unable to understand this site’s intended purpose.

      1. I never said I didn’t use it did I :3 I messed up pretty badly with my grammar, but that was because I had just finished a 24 hour shift as a volunteer EMT and I was dead tired.

    1. first of all, “Jeff” the killer. Second, read more on this “site”. Sorry, the grammar natzi comes out at times. 10/10 doc, keep up the work.

  27. Stranger Than Fiction

    Not being a huge fan of fiction, I must say that this read was excellent! Kuddos to the Doctor for opening my eyes to a creepy but great story! Thank you for posting this!

  28. Had a lot of potential, but ultimately failed. I’m a huge fan of slenderpasta, but felt that it should’ve been more drawn out and a bit more… I don’t know. It was just missing something.

  29. Good pasta. Kept me hooked all the way through. Btw, when I came to the site, it put JustJunkIt in the name and an email that I’ve never seen in the email box. Anyone else having this problem?

    1. Are you viewing the site through mobile, by any chance? I suspect I know what’s causing this issue, but if it happens to a desktop user I’ll be back at square one.

      1. This happened to me too. I’m using mobile but I switch to desktopview because otherwise I get an error and can’t advance from story to story, I have to go back to my bookmark and choose the next story every time.

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