Silence. Silence was uncomfortable, and Amy didn’t like it. Fingers nimbly tap-tapped across black and white keys as she typed up what she hoped would be a phenomenal English essay. She rubbed her tired eyes and sighed, straining to see what she had just typed in the dim light provided by her laptop. The numbers at the bottom of her laptop monitor read 11:37 P.M. It was going to be a long night. She turned to reach for her headphones, and then paused. The laptop allowed her to view what she was typing, but it did nothing to assist her in banishing the inky blackness that met her eyes as she turned away from her laptop screen. It unnerved her as her fingers scrabbled around for the earbuds she had so carelessly tossed away earlier on her bed. Turning back to her laptop with earbuds in hand, Amy breathed hard and then chastised herself for being so childish. She was already sixteen; she was old enough to know that there was absolutely nothing to be worried about. Yet now that she had seen how completely something could cloak itself in the darkness, Amy couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that something was watching her… she attempted to continue on typing in normalcy when something like footfalls behind her sounded. Amy froze. She could hear her parents snoring in the bedroom across the hall from her and her sisters had long since fallen asleep. Amy turned stiffly, terrified to think what would be behind her. Every single monster she had ever read about or seen in a horror movie came to her mind all at once as she finally looked upon the spot where the footfalls had sounded.
Nothing.
Amy hesitantly got up out of her chair, still not completely convinced that she was alone in her room. She practically sprinted for her door and hastily flicked the light switch on. Warily, Amy skirted her room with her eyes, positive that she would find something ghastly grinning at her from a corner, from her mirror, or from under her bed.
Nothing.
Amy released a breath she wasn’t aware she’d been holding. She left the light on and padded back to her laptop, plugging in her earbuds. Quickly, the pounding beat of her music flooded her ears, and Amy returned to the rhythmic typing of her essay. She was almost done with her third paragraph when she looked at her clock again. The time read 11:52 P.M. Amy paused her music for a moment to rest, and realized how deafening the silence was. Her music acted as a mask that temporarily cloaked to the unnerving feeling of not hearing anything but one’s own breathing. With horror, Amy thought of how something could have skittered, crawled, or slithered into her room without her hearing it over the volume of her music. She hastily whipped her head towards her door again, and as she did so, she felt the gossamer touch of something ever so slightly brushing her shoulder. Barely stifling a shriek, Amy looked back at her shoulder, expecting to see dead, rotting fingers gripping her tightly.
It was just her blond ponytail, resting on her shoulder from when she’d whipped it around so quickly.
Amy rubbed her temples and sighed. Maybe she should get a haircut. The silence and her own exhaustion was getting to her. She was imagining things. This couldn’t be healthy. Not even bothering to care about quality anymore, Amy typed several humdrum sentences and concluded her essay. Tentatively, Amy looked behind her one more time.
Nothing.
Being alone was scary when it was quiet, Amy mused wearily to herself as she crawled into bed, but in the end it was nothing but childish paranoia. Amy let herself drift off to sleep, feeling safe and content curled up in her blankets.
She never noticed the dead, rotting hands that quietly prised open her closet door, nor the Glasgow smile that shone through the darkness as Amy’s Monster watched her with wide, unblinking eyes, and began thinking of ideas of how to play with her tomorrow night.
Credit To – Nini Li
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I’m clinically schizophrenic, so I know how it feels.
This is so freaking relatable. Love it
7/10
i wouldnt mind having a monster as long as it was content to only scare and do no real harm
this is amazing, though more detail in the monster would’ve been nice
This was excellent! So relatable, I felt connected to the character and was just so satisfied with this. Excellent job
omg i loved this pasta needed some more creepy but PLENTY of sauce ….
I’m a 16 year old girl named Amy.
Ok. O_o
Love it! Very good! (: Write more!
I really like it, it’s creepy. And I agree silence is uncomfortable… Especially when you’re alone in the dark.
LOVE :D
Disappointing ending, it felt rushed. You built the tension up very well but after the last ‘Nothing’ it lost it.
Good attempt though! Better than anything I could do :P
Well then. I’m just gonna sleep with my mom tonight.
Just don’t tell your father…
Yummy pasta is yummy.
Weeelll..at least it’s not killing her..hehehe right? :l
This was a pretty cool concept, and it’s execution was near perfect. I love the idea of the monster not trying to kill you, but just messing with your head. A very yummy pasta!
Awesome! Wonderfully written and hitting a little too close to home! Some fears stay with us well into adulthood and when I awaken in the middle of the night to a silent dark room I still get the heebie-jeebies. Thanks to you I will be blocking the closet door before going to bed tonight.
Cool pasta. A little too drawn out, but still.
wait…. did the monster ever kill Amy? I wanna know!
No it did not. It said at the end that the monster was thinking of ways to play with her tomorrow night indicating that it only toyed with her tonight and would continue to do so
good creepypasta, a little cliche but still a good read. :)
IMO the most interesting thing about this pasta was its intimacy. The style suited the stalkerpasta genre like a glove- especially because it’s from the victim’s perspective. I liked how the author used a moment-by-moment perspective; this pasta was arguably one of the few which did things right.
The style conveyed that sort of horror-film suspense where tense moments stretch like hours, while giving readers an anchor for empathy: who hasn’t had that bout of late-night paranoia? The feelings were immediately familiar, and Amy grappled very believably with her fears- I loved the scene where she was surprised by her own ponytail. I also liked the way her scared thoughts flickered and cast sinister light on otherwise mundane events.
The pacing was laudable: normally cumbersome wads of paragraph helped to convey that sense of nervous, sprinting fear, broken by tense pauses of ‘nothing’. Even the ellipses had gravity – the formatting really helped to set the atmosphere, reflecting Amy’s state of mind.
There was a curious bit of positioning going on. Intentionally or not, the reader was cast as the stalker, paying near-obsessive attention to Amy’s every reaction, maybe even getting thrills out of her paranoia. The ending was especially sinister IMO, the monster’s plans to ‘play with her’ laden with uncomfortable undertones.
Descriptions were quite simple and unobtrusive, except for a few sudden flights of fancy. The unassuming prose contributed to that workaday experience of paranoia. My main criticism, if it can be called such, was the lack of deviation to the standard stalker premise. I thought a few plot innovations could’ve really done the pasta justice.
Overall, a very well-executed stalkerpasta. 8.4/10
It wasn’t particularly original, but I enjoyed it, although the monster could’ve done without a name.. The writing in particular stood out. Overall, slightly above average pasta. 7/10
Ooooh, nice! What I liked the most about this story was how you took a relatable fear and expanded it. As a student myself, there have been plenty of times when I’ve been up till the wee hours of the morning writing a paper with just the light of my laptop, and it gets really unnerving. Especially when you look away from your screen and everything is darker! I loved that you included that! Your flow of language was also excellent and you have a wonderful writers voice. I guess the only critique I would offer is a bit more description of your surroundings. I wanted to SEE this girls room more, really make it stand out in the imagination. All in all, a very good pasta. I give it a 7.5/10