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Compared to most other towns, the one I live in is pretty high above sea level, and my house just happens to sit on the highest hill there. From my bedroom window I can look out and see the entire town, along with the surrounding mountains. It’s a lovely sight. 

I don’t know about you, but I actually look forward to waking up in the morning, if only to look out my window and see those mountains. It’s especially pretty after a midnight drizzle, when the air is so thick with vapor that the mountains and buildings are completely covered by fog, with only their dark outlines penetrating the thick mist.

On weekends I don’t have work, but I get up early anyway to watch the fog slowly fade away to reveal everything it hides. I watched the thick blanket of fog over the mountains slowly fade away last weekend, just as I had done every weekend before. But this time, the mountains faded away with the mist until both had vanished from sight.


Yeah, that was kinda weird.


The next morning, the blanket of fog covered the whole town. It vanished along with the fog, just as the mountains did. That was kinda weird, too.

And now,  just a couple ago, I opened the shades to see nothing but fog, completely surrounding my house. I don’t know if it’s the humidity or my lack of morning coffee, but I feel kinda weird…


Credited to Omny.

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64 thoughts on “Miasma”

  1. Reminded me of the Twilight Zone episode “And When The Sky Was Opened”. A particularly unsettling episode.
    This was a nice pasta; what it could use is some more emotion on behalf of the narrator. In the TZ episode the characters elaborated on the feeling that they “just don’t belong”, before vanishing, which really made it eerie. The last line could be a little more show not tell to execute that.
    Also, and this is purely optional, it might be interesting to have the narrator realize what is about to happen and flip his shit like the TZ characters did. That for me made the terror tangible; I felt the desperation of not wanting to vanish. But like I said, it isn’t necessary for the story to be great. Just one of many possible routes it could go.
    Overall, nice concept, I like it. :)

  2. personwholikespie^^
    also, to the author, it was the lack of coffee making you feel wierd, of course:)

  3. waa~~ not scary at all!! the weird thing is your telling a supernatural event that happen to you but you write/tell it so unbelieve that its really unbelieve to be believed. hehe!

  4. The lack of oxygen explains his retarded and completely relaxed attitude towards seeing an entire town vanish

  5. This had potential, but would have been more interesting if something happened to make the fog unique (ex. the speaker goes deaf, sees something in the fog, randomly dies, etc.).

  6. Reminded me of Dorf Fortress…

    Didn’t like this one in particular, but the concept yould have made a great pasta if handled better. Some emotional elaboration would have been great.

  7. we liked it but it did not really hit me hard like i wanted it to.
    kinda just short and sweet
    we would of like it if you had added more of a creepy theme to it.

  8. To all the people saying that this pasta should be longer: go fuck yourselves. Really, creepypasta is much better when it’s short, and this one did quite well in that regard. Props to you, Omny. You write creepypasta the way it’s supposed to be, and well, I might add.

  9. Sir Shoop Woopington

    good for a creepypasta
    thats about it. Its a good opening for a fucking scary story, but it ends and leaves the imagination open.
    as a story: 6.5/10
    as a creepypsta:9/10
    i do think we are here for creepypasta, so I would ignore the first grade all together.
    also i like how the lastest including this one, have been very well written.

  10. I was not impressed. It was a good idea, certainly, but it was poorly executed. It didn’t have the creepy atmosphere, or the supernatural feel that a good pasta needs. I could say “Fog ate the town” or “There’s a zombie in my basement” and that doesn’t generate bricks. I think a little bit of proofreading would go a long way for this story.

  11. u want to shat me :0?
    Srsly tho, I didn’t rly like this one. He probebly live there all along and the coffey was just druged.
    P.S. Too bored to spell right today, I’m tired.

  12. Ooooh i love this, instead of freaking out this guy just doesn’t care and acts like it’s nothing but on the inside i bet hes shiiting brix XD.

  13. Wait, the mountains surrounding your town and, oh, the town ITSELF has mysteriously vanished because of some phantom fog and all you can say is “Huh, weird. . .”

  14. This is the author speaking.

    Thanks for all the comments! I admit this wasn’t my best pasta- I literally made it up and wrote it down in less than twenty minutes, so I can’t imagine it was my best writing.

  15. Haha, neat. And the idea of someone getting up early on a weekend without having to work? EEK!
    No, but seriously it kind of had a ‘The Mist’ feel to, it was pretty creepy. I like how the guy just accepts it.
    “yeah, that was kind of weird”…

  16. Not bad, but pasta could use just a bit more sauce.

    I think the fact that guy in the story wasn’t creeped out by the disappearing mountains and town kept it from being truly creepy.

  17. Yeah, it does remind me a bit of Silent Hill. Well written, though.

    You left the ending in one of the ways that creepypastas should be left: it tells you something is happening, but doesn’t quite tell you what.

  18. @apple juice

    I think the writer is trying to convey the disbelief, and also to create a calmer image to contrast with the HOLY FUCK that you would feel.

  19. I found it a bit, well, meh. I can’t think of any other way to describe it. Fog just isn’t that scary, even if it does make stuff permanently disappear. Oh, and my reaction to the situation would not be ‘it was kinda weird’.

  20. Great pasta. I thoroughly enjoyed this, even though it was more surreal than creepy. The idea of ending up completely alone in the Universe, stuck on a mountain somewhere really seems horrible when you think about it.



    (Sorry, I’m thinking about Silent Hill right now; you have to admit, it sounds vaguely similar :P)

  21. It;s an ok pasta, the fog killing off a town and stuff, but this pasta could have been more mysterious. 7/10 for concept.

  22. … the thing that was creepy about this is that I live on the highest hill in a above-sea-level town as well… argh..
    But this was an okay pasta. I’ve read better and worse.
    I liked the to-the-point-ness of this, but I think it lacked that special something that just makes it f-cking scary.
    7/10, descent pasta.

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