I awoke that night to Echo, my dog, barking up a storm. He was perched on the edge of my bed, facing the door and yapping away like crazy. I scratched him behind the ear to get him to calm down and guided him to his usual spot on my bed.
In hindsight, him barking was the first warning.
My brain, overactive as it is, was curious as to why he was behaving so oddly. Echo rarely barked at anything, so it was unlikely he was barking at nothing. Perhaps there is a skunk in the yard, I thought to myself. Seeing as how I was half-asleep at the time, that explanation seemed perfectly logical. Had I been more aware, I would have realized that any skunks in the neighborhood would be weeks into their hibernation this time of year. Even if they weren’t, the vicious snowstorm outside would deter them from wandering about.
I attempted to fall asleep after that, and how I wish that I did. Unfortunately, due to my habit of sleeping with my mouth open, I was becoming increasingly aware of how thirsty I was. I tried to stay in the warmth of my bed for as long as possible, but it wasn’t long before my tongue felt like sandpaper. It was clear to me that I wouldn’t be able to sleep without a glass of water.
I told Echo to stay and slipped into my moccasins. The air outside my nest of blankets was freezing so I put on my housecoat as well. When I left my bedroom, I noticed that the basement television was showing static. Mother probably forgot to turn it off after watching her murder mysteries, I thought. The TV’s playing static because of the storm outside. It’s just messing with our cable. Another logical explanation, which would be far less logical if I were fully awake. My mother, no matter how tired she was, would never leave the television on. She’s far too meticulous to do something like that. In my sleepy brain, however, it made perfect sense. I couldn’t find the TV remote, as the room was dark and I didn’t want to accidentally blind myself by turning on the lights, so I left the TV on.
I should’ve turned back, crawled back into bed and waited for morning.
I climbed the stairs to the landing, which was bathed in an orange glow, cast by the streetlights reflecting off of the clouds above. From up here, I could hear the wind battering itself against the house’s walls. I was starting to wake up a little bit. I noticed that the deadbolt on the door was unlocked.
That was my final warning.
My parents felt that it wasn’t necessary, what with the storm and all. The seeds of doubt began to form in my mind. I knew that that wasn’t the case. Some new neighbors have been suspected of breaking into people’s houses and stealing their liquor. My parents, being collectors of fine wines, have made it a habit to lock the deadbolt every night for the past few months, even when the act was completely pointless. My conscious brain was starting to wake up, starting to notice these things. A feeling of uneasiness began to pool in my gut. Still, after locking the deadbolt, I continued to the kitchen.
From the kitchen, I had a clear view of the living room, and while I filled an empty glass with water from the sink, I not only noticed that the television up here was also showing static, but that there was a figure seated on the couch. Don’t worry, I thought nervously, that’s just Dad. He’s been sleepwalking again. This time, I was fully aware of the flaws in the this ‘logical explanation’; the fact that the figure on the couch was bald and plump, while my father is lean and his hair is only beginning to thin. The fact that my father has been taking medications to prevent his sleepwalking. The fact that I could hear him snoring from my parent’s bedroom. I tried to disregard these thoughts, to push them to the back of my mind like I had done before. This time, it didn’t work.
I gently set my glass on the kitchen counter. My hands were cold and clammy, shaking in terror. My heart rate was increasing and my breathing was rapid. Even in the confusion of the moment, I knew that this wasn’t just some regular burglar, I doubted that the thing on the couch was even human. I reached for the phone to call 911, only to find out that I couldn’t get any service due to the storm. Frustrated and confused, I started randomly pushing buttons on the keypad.
That’s when I heard the thing move. The sound wasn’t loud, but it was enough to make my blood run cold and send clammy sweat down my back. It was the sound of bones popping, not just a few either; it sounded like an entire room full of people cracking their necks, backs and knuckles all at once. I turned from the useless phone to look at the creature for the first time.
It was now standing, facing me and illuminated by the orange glow from the living room’s window. It stood at about six feet tall, was completely naked and was rather plump. Its skin was a sallow grayish color and looked almost slimy. The creatures arms dangled as if they were boneless and at the end of each was a gnarled mess of fingers. The worst part about the creature, however, was its face. The thing had no nose, only two slits where its nostrils would be. Its eyes were hollow, white orbs that seemed too large for the rest of its face. As for its mouth, well, it didn’t really have one. It looked as if its entire lower jaw had been knocked clean off the rest of its face, leaving a swollen, pink tongue hanging against its neck.
The creature started walking towards me, making that awful sound with each step. It looked like it was trying to speak to me, but without its jaw, the tongue could only wriggle around helplessly as sinister moans escaped its throat.
I did what anybody else would do in that situation. I ran like hell.
When I got to the landing, I closed the door between the landing and the first floor. I had three options: I could surrender myself to the creature, I could run downstairs, which would eventually lead to a dead end, or I could run outside and face one of the worst blizzards of the decade. None of my choices were desirable, but I knew that I’d be dead anyway if I kept standing there. I didn’t get much time to choose though, as the door between me and the creature swung open, revealing that thing in all its grotesque glory. It began to descend the stairs toward me. I made my decision, and as stupid as it was, I wouldn’t be alive if I hadn’t done it. I unlocked the deadbolt and ran outside.
For the first few seconds, I felt absolutely nothing save for the adrenaline and fear surging through me. Looking back at the house as I ran, I swear I could see the creature looking at me through the kitchen window. It looked almost… happy.
By the time my house faded into the blizzard, the cold was starting to set in. Wearing only pajamas, slippers and a housecoat, it wasn’t hard to see why. I continued running, in fear that the thing would chase me, but I was starting to go numb. By the time I reached the highway, I couldn’t feel my fingers. By the time I noticed the approaching headlights, I couldn’t feel my toes. By the time the vehicle had stopped in front of me, everything was starting to go black.
I awoke several hours later to the sound of a machine beeping. At first, I thought the whole thing was a nightmare, that I was back in my bed and that my alarm clock was telling me to wake up and go to school. I began to regain consciousness and realized that I was no longer wearing my pajamas, rather I was wearing a hospital gown. There was a nurse standing above me, checking my vitals.
Apparently, a tow truck driver had found me on his way to a job. He did what anyone else would do if they found a teenager running like hell in the middle of a snowstorm at midnight and rushed me to the nearby hospital. I was admitted to the ER with severe frostbite and a moderate case of hypothermia. My parents were contacted immediately and at first, it seemed like I was going to go back home again. That is, until the doctors asked why I was outside in my pajamas in the first place. I told them the story as I couldn’t think of any excuse that sounded less crazy.
As one might expect, I was shipped off to the psyche ward. That is where I’m typing this now. See, the doctors can come up with any number of logical explanations. They can tell me that I was hallucinating, that I was having a nightmare, that I was over-stressed. With a medical degree, one can explain any unnatural phenomena with enough pills and prescriptions. But just because an explanation is logical, doesn’t mean that it’s true. At first I believed what they were saying, at first it all made sense. But something that happened later in the day changed that.
I was reading a book in my bed, starting to come to terms with what happened, when the TV in my room flickered to life. It was showing static. Outside the window, I could a gray figure outside the hospital. Even though I was on the fourth floor, I could tell that it was looking directly at me.
This story is a Crappypasta Success Story – it got such a positive reception over at Crappypasta that it’s being moved here to the main site. Congratulations to the author and thanks to the Crappypasta community for the save!
Credit To – InsanityUnderHats
Copyright Statement: Unless explicitly stated, all stories published on Creepypasta.com are the property of (and under copyright to) their respective authors, and may not be narrated or performed under any circumstance.
I liked it… but what happened to his parents? Did they die? Why do these pastas always say the same things about these monsters faces lol, “but, the face was the worst”. Why the psycho ward? That was lame. Make a number two I wanna know more!!! Who is da creature
Logical explanations are boring. That’s why I read Creepypastas. Well one of the reasons
why did you leave Echo? :((
This was a bit boring. Not scary at all.
I liked the story but the ending with being sent to a psych ward was kind of meh
Obviously nobody here plays amnesia? The author obviously ripped off the monster “grunt” from the game. which kinda killed it for me.
so scary! i wouldnt know what i would’ve done if this was real…
Holy shit man, because of your story I’m now looking out of the window every moment…. It was scary as hell!
this one gave me a little chill I don’t get scared that often unless it’s a really good one
That was awesome! I loved it! could you tell me though how to submit a creepypasta?
Please visit the Frequently Asked Questions and Submission pages :)
He just admits to what he saw?! Why, instead of willingly going to a psyche ward, didn’t he make a story about an intruder (with or without a weapon) that he saw when he got up to get a drink? Even include the thing about the dog to make it more realistic! Then say the intruder was in the way to his parents (aka backup) and (since the phones don’t work in a storm) he fled the house to not get cornered by some freak. BOOM! No psyche ward.
People would different things in those situation. I would do as this guy does since i will be doing less time a mental hospitial.
People would different things in those situation. I would do as this guy does since i will be doing less time a mental hospital.
LOCKING MY BEDROOM DOOR TONIGHT
This writing style is way overused. I mean congrats on the jump from crappy to creepy and all, but there is still a reason that you were on that site first.
Eh..I liked it until he got sent to a mental hospital. That’s been used too many times. Did have a awesome buildup though!!! 7/10
Eh, I wasn’t too impressed with this one when I first read it on Crappypasta and I’m still not all that keen on it. I can’t complain about the writing itself because it’s actually quite good. The plot, though, is extremely overdone. If you continue to write (and I recommend you do), try coming up with more original ideas. If you can do that, you’ll have no problem.
I knew I seen this somewhere then I read the last section and I was like yes I knew it was from crappy pasta
OMG this is so freaking creepy, now i know how this website got its name.
Not the best creepypasta I’ve read, and the storyline is way over-used, but it is also not the worst either. Congragulations on the jump from crappy to creepy, but try not to be too cliched.
This is one of the best stories I’ve ever read.
loved it – easy to digest, straightforward writing style, satisfying conclusion. Not the most original setup, granted, but horror cliches are the reason I love the genre and being able to use them well is the mark of a good storyteller. Its generally more important to me how a story is told than what its about and this one was told really well. 9/10
I was reading through this and thought “I’ve definitely read this before”, sure enough it’s a crappypasta success story so congrats on making the jump.
While I enjoyed the whole logical explanation theme, this story still lacks a satisfactory ending, which is why it was placed in Crappypasta in the first place IIRC.
I’m going to be honest, this story isn’t that great. There’s really nothing that separates it from the hundreds of other creepypastas that are almost exactly the same. For example, the plot:
A man finds a random monster in his house, he runs away, he ends up in a mental hospital where nobody believes him about the monster but he knows it’s true, and as a finale he sees the monster one last time.
I’ve literally seen that exact same plot numerous times before. What’s different about this story? Certainly not the monster, which is an extremely generic humanish thing but disfigured. The only thing even slightly unique about this story is the blizzard, but let’s be honest, that’s nowhere near enough to redeem it.
First off, the story may be clichéd and all but the main character has a likable tone, something many authors fail to do. I, for one, like stories like these, and give it a thumbs up.
The plot was tired and threadbare but the writing is better then most of the creepypastas on here people lose their minds over. It deserves a bit of credit for that at least.
Nice! The theme of “logical” thought throughout worked as a great device to really create a smooth flowing, cohesive narrative. Also, they all make so much sense for a sleepy brain to concoct and believe. The steady confrontation of logic vs. reality is one that is easy to see coming, but was still rewarding in its own right. The narrator is engaging, relatable, and likable. That alone can be very hard to do. And I felt the descriptions provided worked well and fit the story pretty solidly, if maybe veering a bit into the overly detailed range on rare occasion. I wonder why she (I pictured a young woman, not sure that it matters either way) did not try to warn/get help from her parents. Also, while the entity alone is terrifying, since her parents survived, it does make it seem a bit less dangerous than previously attributed. But danger is not necessarily equivalent to creepy, as this story illustrates. It’s just that the snowstorm might be the deadliest character in this story.
And, finally, I like the ambiguity of the end. Is it some sort of hallucination? Perictal fear/psychosis associated with seizure activity? (Though you’d hope the staff would realize that!)Or is something supernatural haunting the poor protagonist now? Generally, I’m not a fan of this ending, but here it is written in such a way that there are numerous valid options, but none of them significantly alter the impact of the story. Well done! Congrats on making the jump from crappy to creepy! While there are some flaws, and I think the entity could use some beefing up (though to do so might jeopardize the delicate balance required for the ending…), it really is a stellar piece. Thanks for an enjoyable read on this Tuesday morning, and happy writing!
So instead of waking parents he bolts out leaving them for dead?!
Who cares about them it’s chasing me!
I liked it!!!
The chills are real !!
Sorry, that was me.. I know I’m not in great shape but jeez. Grotesque? Really? Thanks. Real classy.
You must have forgotten to wear clothes then
wow !!!! simply cool & scary. 9/10