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Happy Thirty-Third Birthday



Estimated reading time — < 1 minute

On your 33rd birthday, go to your local gas station and pick up the newspaper. The classified ads will have a small segment commemorating your birth and asking you to turn around. Upon looking behind you, a man dressed in a black cloak will be advancing in your direction. If you choose to run away, he will hunt you for the rest of your life, eventually killing you. However, if you await his arrival and show no intent of fleeing, he will give you a small package. Inside, you shall find the object you most desire.

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111 thoughts on “Happy Thirty-Third Birthday”

  1. This isn’t even creative. This was just a poorly-written, completely bland pasta. My only theory as to understand why other people like this is curiosity. It tries the “less is more” technique and use it as an excuse to make it a creepypasta. You need potential to make it a creepypasta.

    Rating: 1/5

  2. Marenthia Hfhdiufifekbfd

    To be honest, this was creative but not very frightening because I honestly don’t see much of a downside to the man. Just don’t run and everything is great. Not really much to actually fear, like he’s giving you a birthday present, that’s pretty nice of him.

  3. Hmmm , Make the man like this and it will make it waaaaaaaaay batter okay? …and you will see a man , dressed in black his face hidden in the shadow of a hood the only thing showing is his white teeth and glowing yellow eyes . He advances towards you and you take a step back in feat. What does he want? you ask yourself. You feel an unnatural chill run down your spine as he advances ever more slowly closer and closer. He is dark and you can almost see it on him, a deep depressing anxiety that clenches your heart and make you want to run. But you don’t. For some reason, your own masochistic curiosity wants to see what he is, what he will, do , if even he is dangerous at all. He pulls his hand up and your eyes widen in fear. In his hand is a large black bag bulging with something large. He opens the bag and pulls out…. A blue package with a green bow? You become confused as he hands you the present. He walks past you and whispers, “Aren’t you glad you didn’t run?” You turn around to face him, but he isnt there , it appears he has disappeared. When you get home you set the present on the table and wonder what;s inside. Hours later you are prepared with a knife, just in case, You pul on the ribbon, and pull it wawy from the package. You lift the lid slowly from the box and gasp at what it contains. A puppy! You had aklway wanted one since you were a child but could never find the time to go get one! Oh happy days!………………….. and then on and then on :D sorry i turned it into a full blown short story but :P

  4. You guys are stoopid if a scary guy in a a black coat were walking toward you, holding a box, what would you want most of all?

  5. I met the guy, and had a fairly decent conversation with him. Turns out he’s both Jack the Ripper, AND the guy who runs Amazon.

  6. So inside will be a deck of cards that let me control the gods themselves, thus allowing me to be the undisputed master of existence?

    …Wow, I think I may be an egomaniac. Or is it megalomaniac?

  7. The pasta never said exactly what the man looked like. He could look like the scariest serial killer ever. And a lot of people don’t know what they most desire, no matter what they say so… I think this one was a fun read :)

  8. So wait…I live within a gas station in each direction of my street… Which local gas station do I go to?

  9. I love reading the comments to some of these stories.

    And if you wanted a car or a house, he might just give you the key and maybe a slip of paper telling you where it is. Maybe.

  10. when i opened that box i began to wish i had chosen the other option :( that guy ripped me off >:(

  11. Bow To Your Sensei

    Mr. Welldone, are you talking about the price of the newspaper? It’s not really that cheat.

    Does the object have to exist though? Because I desire a gun that can make portals, you know, like that game, Portal?

  12. Anonymousity x 2

    WOO HOO!

    But you’re lousier than Santa Clause. Boo.

    Meanwhile, I wish for a man carrying the same box, whose box contains a man carrying the same box, whose box contains a man carrying the same box…

    TIME PARADOX

  13. shortys roc my sox

    @ Noneya

    i think by the time i’m thirty three all the gas stations will be gone big power plants will be gone and people will be riding bikes to school and working out on farms and planting trees

  14. The person formerly known as 'Noneya'

    @Mr. Welldone and Monkeyface

    Of COURSE there is a price! Youre at a gas station arent you? By the time your thirty third comes around it will cost fifty dollars a breath just to breathe the gasoline infuses fumes.

  15. @ 34

    Well how scary would it be if it were a man in pink?

    On second though, scratch that. I think a man in pink would be more frightening than a man in black.

  16. I’ve always liked this one. It’s a ritual where it’s ACTUALLY possible to complete the thing. And at the end, you’re not saying, “…and WHY would I want to do this?”

  17. I thought this looked familiar.

    I thought I read it here, but it must’ve been on ED’s archive. Ah well.

    Yep, I’m probably the only person here who would rather have an unremarkable thirty-third birthday than meet another cloaked weirdo :/

  18. Man in black coat from another story

    The person formerly known as ‘Noneya’
    Wait how do you know abaout that.I knew the new guy was a spy.

  19. The object I most desire, huh? Something telling me WHO WAS PHONE! xD Lame, yet necessary.

    Question: What if, by my 33rd birthday, gas stations have all been replaced by hydrogen stations or something? >_>

    I’ll never know who was phone…

  20. 1 get

    Why is it always some dude in black? I swear there are at least 4 in the archives of creepy dudes in black. All my friends wear black. Is black really that frightening. I friggin’ love black.

  21. Here’s a creepy thought: what if your greatest desire was the love of someone and that was translated into the man giving you that person’s heart? Their literal heart. D:

  22. The copypasta actually sounds like a forced one. The author could’ve played on the idea of the 33rd birthday more. Since 3 is a number of relevance to certain religions and beliefs.

    Oh well. Merely thinking wishfully.

  23. wow, now i’m wondering what i most desire.
    a nikon d90? by the time i’m 33 i probably will have already gotten one and it’ll be obsolete. mmm =\
    but it’s fun, thinking about what i most desire.

  24. Win, win situation, no reason to run. Although if the object I desire most is a women, I shudder to think how she’d fit in a small package.

  25. This one really felt like a ten second rushed writing. It’s not creepy… it’s not suspensful… it’s just do this, and you get something. If you run, he’ll chase after you and kill you. It’s a really bland pasta IMO.

  26. The person formerly known as 'Noneya'

    WHO WAS BLACK COAT MAN?!

    Seriously, Ive asked this question before but:

    Where the hell do these loonies come from? Do they all know eachother? Is there a bar full of mysterious looking guys in trenchcoatss where they talk about al the people theyve done in, and make new riddles and plans?

    Do they compare notes?>

    “Alright, Ill hang out in this mall every full moon and wait for people to ask a certain question.”

    “Great, Ill take that one corner and wait for random people to make eye contacxt with me. You know, to visit them in their dreams for a week or so.”

    “Gotcha.”

  27. The short, sweet, creepypastas are always my favorite.

    FCF, keep in mind. If you randomly saw a strange man in a black coat advance towards you, what would you do?

  28. Well, if I knew he wasn’t going to do anything, why the hell would I run away for? Also, how the hell is he going to fit Jessica Alba in a small package? :D

  29. this one actually sounds worthwhile. the most strenuous effort u have to do is go buy a paper, and read it. then stand there, instead of running away.

    then you get supercrazyawesomeamericandollar!

  30. I hate these. There was no indication that there was anything remotely strange or frightening about the man in black, so why would you run from him?? These things always say something about running away and something terrible will happen, BUT if you stay…. YOU’LL GET SOMETHING GREAT! Why would you run away? So stupid and too cliche! FAIL

  31. If a psycho comes to me at a gas station at night on my 33rd birthday and i dont run, my blood will be on your hands. Not bad, i would say make the man more menacing, maybe say you will feel unimaginable fear or something. Maybe say things like dong look at his face or he will own your soul forever etc. See what others have to say as well.

        1. Username or no username, there is no nameuser

          Mine would contain, 10,000,000
          twenty billion dollar checks, AKA, a LOT of money

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