Estimated reading time — 3 minutes
Right now, there is a thin man in a skin tight black suit sitting in your closet.
His bony knees bent to his chest, his spidery white fingers wrapped around his ankles. He sits there, and has been sitting there since you began reading this.
His name is Greed. Can you hear his breathing yet?
Now that you are aware of his existance, if you open your closet door you will see him sitting there. Immediately his expressionless face will smile, and his sharp green eyes will lock onto yours. You may open and close the closet as much as you wish, and you may leave him there for as long as you like, but he will never go away. And everytime you look inside your closet he will still be there, his glassy eyes following yours. Only you will see him. Don’t attempt to tell anyone else, they will only question your sanity.
If you ignore Greed, gradually he will take over your existance. When you look in the mirror you will see him standing behind you, smiling his eerie smile. You will see him sitting in the back of your car as you drive home late from work. As you turn the lights off downstairs and you run up the steps to the safety of your bedroom, he will be running behind you, even if you do not turn to look you will hear a second pair of footsteps.
There is only one way to rid yourself of Greed. At exactly midnight, of any night of the year (apart from Christmas Eve) sit in front of your closet with a razor in your left hand. You must be alone, the lights must be off, and you must place a lit tea candle in between you and the closet door. Without opening the door, repeat this verse:
In return for my sanity, I give to you my soul,
Use it as you wish, but please leave me alone.
The closet door will swing open, revealing Greed whose eyes are already glaring you in the face. He will hold out his long bony hand. Hold your right hand over it and with your left, make a clean cut across your wrist and let your blood fill his hand. Once it is full he will retreat it and place your gift in his top right coat pocket. Then he will stand up, and walk out of your house, the doors opening themselves for him. He will never return.
From that moment on, your life will be perfect. You will effortlessly become rich beyond belief, you will find and marry the love of your life and achieve anything your heart desires. You will never become sick, and you will die warm and comfortable in your bed, surrounded by those you love.
But once your eyes have finally closed, and your lungs stop breathing, you will meet Greed again. He will take you to visit your loved ones who you have left behind, and you will watch helplessly as he plays his game. He will take the sharpest knife from their kitchen and hide in their closet. Next time they open it he will slaughter and devour them. He will repeat this little ritual until everyone you’ve ever loved is lying dead in a puddle of their own blood. After he has finally finished this twisted game he will take your soul from his top right coat pocket and swallow it. You will become a part of him, and be a part of his game forevermore.
However, if you take the option to ignore him, he will never leave, and every once in a while, if you turn over in the direction of your partner in bed, instead of seeing their beautiful face, your eyes will meet with his, and that evil grin will still be stretched over his rows of sharp teeth.