Monday, May 20, 2019

Grand Sacrifice

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Estimated reading time — 6 minutes

The notion that our existence was crafted so eloquently without the guiding hand of a supreme being is equally as indigestible as that of an omnipotent, omnipresent God. I have always believed this uncomfortable paradox was the catalyst for my pursuit into the study of the human mind. What secrets must be kept, locked away for millennia, which could illuminate the answers to the questions that constantly plague each and every one of us? Those core doubts and emotions, buried deep within and kept chained to our subconscious minds, that taunt us with their vague yet constant nagging . Whose pervasive wailings are droned out by the inane and petty chatter of our everyday lives. Why are we here? Is their a point to existence? Be it darkness, beauty, or a dash of something not yet known – I aimed to uncover essential truth.

I do not wish to frighten those of you that have chanced upon this document. I have struggled with the best method of unveiling my discoveries for some time now, but believe that is imperative for this knowledge to be disseminated. If you are currently enjoying a pleasant, simple life, I encourage you return to your normal routine. There is still time and you are helpless to rectify the coming events. If you insist on pursing than I encourage you to write me off as your everyday run-of-the-mill quack who could not handle the pressure of intense research. Whatever you do, only convey the knowledge contained within to those of sound mind and resolute constitution, as it will surely cause havoc to those not prepared for an inevitable drastic worldview change.

It was not until I was awarded a lucrative research position with the World Health Organization that I was able to guide projects as I saw fit. While I would never betray my stimulating years of study or my stint as a neurological engineer with the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, I had never been able to break through the comfortable womb of learning into the dimensionless chasm of discovery. I now possessed the money and freedom I desired. I sought to map the operational differences between well preserved Cro-Magnon brain samples found at the Peştera cu Oase with that of the modern man. I had hoped to isolate any differences to determine the effectiveness of evolution over the last 40,000 years. This would form the basis for research into providing a reliable catalyst towards accelerating growth in the human mind. Sadly we will not get the chance for such actions to manifest themselves.

The research went at a predicable, yet frustratingly slow pace. The process of mapping the brain was as intricate as it was time consuming. Specially fabricated electrodes had to be arranged with extreme precision in numerous permutations to cortical stimulation areas. As series of increasingly powerful currents would be introduced, and their path through the brains neural networks would be traced. The results would be compared to a software simulation of an optimized brain running various algorithms for achieving a variety of different goals – maximizing speed, minimizing chemical synapse activity between nerve cells, and minimizing information fidelity.

I was bewildered to find how advanced the Cro-Magnon brain was. It was generally accepted in the academic community that the modern brain has undergone significant changes, namely in areas involving verbal communication and multitasking. Thus I assumed our methods were fundamentally flawed when the first few experiments were finalized. In comparative benchmarks it was indubitably evident that certain sections of the samples brains out performed out optimized brain simulations. I squelched an abundance of time searching for a flaw in my experiments design that simply was not present.

When I realized the experiment was robust and the data therefore accurate it took all my willpower not to initially publish the results. I wanted this groundbreaking news to reach all corners of the globe. While the layman would likely not flinch at the results, this could have caused a paradigm shift in both the fields neurology and archeology. My status amongst my peers would be elevated and I would no doubt receive an abundance of grants to continue pursuing the secrets I had sought out to answer.

My hesitance to publish early results turned out to be a decidingly correct choice. I would have had to break the non disclosure agreement I had signed, which could have resulted in possible incarceration unless I switched to a foreign residency. This would have allow another scientist to use my experiments as a baselines to make the discovery before I did. How another individual would have handled the discovery still makes me anxious, although in dark times I wish this curse was another’s to bear.

Charging ahead I began to perform the same experiment on modern humans. Obtaining samples became a challenge, as most families proved unwilling to part with the cadavers of loved ones – even in the name of science.

I didn’t know how to interpret the results. How could Cro-Magnon out perform the brain of a modern human? More shockingly was the reason for the modern brains defeat. There, simply stated, was an entire region of brain which was not utilized. It was as if the equivalent of detour signs had been placed intricately around subsections of the Taenia thalami. Just as bewildering was the observation that the location and volume of brain effected was exactly the same in all modern human brain samples.

Various probes and scans could not account for the difference in outcomes. Both sets of brains seemed to be externally healthy. What could possibly account for the path the electricity took in modern brains?

I conducted a seemingly endless number of experiments to reach a satisfying conclusion. No matter what I chose to do, the results were the same – a part of the modern brain was dead. I became utterly consumed. I could not eat or sleep. My desire for a sound, scientific explanation shadowed all other aspects of my life.

With no logical technique left to solve this enigma, I decided to physically swap the affected sections of brain between two samples. No other scientist would have approved, as I was ceremoniously accomplishing nothing more than destroying two perfectly adequate samples. Yet when the swapped out portion of the Taenia thalami functioned perfectly in the modern sample the realization that I was knocking on the door of my careers dreams was almost more than I could bare. Ancient humans, thought to have been the basis for our evolutionary journey, had a secret which has been lost to annals of history.

Sections of brain do not simply stop working. It would take techniques that are decades away for modern medicine to be able to replicate the outcome. The most logical reason my exhausted mind could come up with was the existence and interference with our progress by God. I deeply desired to understand why and was all to aware that my scientific teachings would be tools most unhelpful if further understanding of this mystery were possible.

I did not get any further before dark visions began to haunt me.

Spaceship. Deep in space. Humans in control. Something not quite right. Past or future? Familiar. Been here before. Rows of cells. No – houses. Families playing on ship. Windows all around. Darkness outside. Occasional star. Feeling of movement. Lighter than usual. Odd looking man staring at me. No eyes? Trying to say something. Can’t make out.

It mattered not what I was occupying myself with, for lucid hallucinations would overcome me in any situation without abatement.

Pews are all full. All wear robes. Black robes. Deep red symbol on right breasts. Diamond. Star. Frightening. Priests? Not quite priests; but almost. Chanting. Closing eyes. No cross. Candles. Burning bright, hot, very hot. Everywhere. Small tank by priests. Dark water; something moving. Chanting louder. Priest? grabs out of water. The hell? Takes thick needle. Inserts into mans head. Flames leap. Chanting is a roar. Odd man again, front row. Turns to me. Mouths something..”tell no one?”

None of the therapists I sought refuge from had any insight into the dilemma. They each in turned agreed the long hours and years of tireless work were resulting in significant and troublesome burnout.

Earth. Beautiful. Animals, no humans. Spaceships. Blotting out sky. Everywhere. Huge ships. Landing. Opening doors. Cages. So many cages. Humans in cages. Humans pulling cages. Hundreds of humans. Tranquilized? Humans taken out of cages. Others back on ship. Bright colors. Ships leaving. Blackness. Odd man on top of me. Whispers..”tell no one”.

They struggled to grasp my research, and dismissed it as “simple fantasies constructed from an over stimulated mind”.

It was not until I began to record the history of my pursuits that He has manifested himself during my waking hours. Everywhere I go He is there. Amongst the emptiness of my own home, He is present. Never directly appearing in front of me. Always in the corner of my eye I can make him out. Soulless and of singular purpose, I fear his presence is to keep my silence compliant. Surely He will interfere should I decide to release my confessions.

Spaceships. Near earth. Hovering. Earth seems normal. Humans on earth. I see family. Friends. Normal. Clouds, red clouds roll in. Flames from sky. Explosions. Asteroid? Bomb? Fire all around. Screaming. Panic. Death. Rumblings. Earthquake. Creature emerges. God? Devil? Taking, killing. Horror. Ships approach. Land. Humans come out. Still in robes. Bowing, bowing to beast. Cheers, claps, prayers. Odd man appears. Screams…”tell no one”.

Credit To – bigpolish

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