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Everlasting Darkness



Estimated reading time โ€” 3 minutes

It happens every night the minute before midnight. I feel its slimy tendrils swirling in the air at the foot of my bed. I want to scream, but absolute fear paralyzes me. I close my eyes and wait for the things to slip under my blanket and try to pull me off. They always slip off though, at the last moment where my body is teetering at the edge of the bed. Control of my body slowly returns and I crawl back up my bed holding back sobs so I don’t bother the other tenants.

I remember the first time it happened to me. I had spent the whole day thinking about girl. I always wanted to ask her out, but she was a freshman and I was a senior. I didn’t want everyone to think I was a pedophile or something.

But there she was, swinging at the playground I passed on the way to my house everyday. It was the first time we were alone out of school. I gathered up some courage and walked to her. “Mind if I take this swing?” I asked as I walked slowly toward the swing next to her. She kept her eyes down and her long brown hair waved a little in the wind.She didn’t say anything, so I sat down and started swinging a little.

I wasn’t really paying attention, but just as I was about to ask her out she had snuck up next to me, raked my arm with her sharp nails screaming something in a foreign language. She stabbed me in the throat with her finger and gave me a creepy doll laugh. I Just lay in the little pit under the swing completely frozen. She skipped away. I think her name was Ann.

That night I woke up in cold sweat at 11:59 pm. Weird I had thought, I usually slept like a baby until morning. That’s when I saw those tendrils, swirling just beyond my vision. Creating unseen shapes. I threw the blanket over my head praying it would protect me from whatever monster lurked.

It didn’t. I screamed and clawed at my bed while it dragged me toward the edge, slipping off at the last second. The slime soaked my legs as I curled up and sobbed as my parents burst in. They tried to comfort me, but I knew. I knew they would never believe me.I knew they thought I had just wet the bed or something. But I know now I should’ve told them. At least tried to convince them. Because now I have no one to turn to.

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That was five years ago. Every night for fight years I fought back screaming at the top of my lungs. I wait every night wishing for it to finally pull me off and kill me. I wish for death with every step I take toward my bed. I set the alarm for 8 every night hoping that I might have not be awake to hear it.

I decide tonight is the night I will bring it to an end. I bring a big kitchen knife to bed. I slash at the tentacles as they slide up my leg, but the knife passes through it like a shadow and I cut my leg. It is only they I realize, the tendrils have always been in my imagination, but I can no longer get rid of them. They have become a dirty, evil part of me. So I keep slashing the knife all over my body until weakness causes my limbs to numb and I drop the knife.

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I lay there blood flowing from cuts all over my body and I feel a sense of peace before my eyes fades into everlasting darkness.

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Credit To: Formidala

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25 thoughts on “Everlasting Darkness”

  1. Maybe her attacking him is a metaphor for him being rejected. And tentacles represent depression, and the only way he could fight it was by harming himself, eventually leading to suicide. Of course, I could be wrong and there could literally have been tentacles.

  2. Sometimes people take the whole “leaving stuff out to be creepy” thing too far. It really upsets me when someone attacks the grammar, and it seems to be the only problem with the story. Yes, it interrupts the flow of reading in your brain. We are all writers here, and we have all started from the bottom. Give the guy/girl a break and suggest it lightly. Not being able to follow a story doesn’t always make it a bad story. Just a good story that needs some minor adjustments.

    For the author:

    Leaving out the connection between the girl and the tentacles creates a giant plot hole. Couldn’t that be fixed with a sequel? I think a sequel is in order because the writing itself was good, and could be amazing with a proofread or two. Or even better, find yourself an editor. They’re now available as Beta Readers – amazing concept from a pasta creeper for those of us who have trouble catching our own mistakes.

  3. ForeverMyMaster

    *reads the paragraph about weird schizophrenic bitch*

    Dafuq?… Dafuq?…. No really Dafuq? LOL EXPLAAAAIN!

  4. Dirjel
    I get what you mean but I wrote that out as a way of making the story flow better not to claim I could write it better, i agree I do need to brush up my own writing but i’m an artist and English has never been my strong point XD
    Thanks for the tip though I guess.

  5. Wow, this is in dire need of a tune-up – the mechanics were awful.

    Also, Pyromania: I would say your phrasing is “better,” but I would not call it “good.” You might want to brush up on your writing as well.

  6. Ah the grammar its making my eyes bleed.
    What was with all the skipping of subjects, what was with the random and pointless mention of the girl, what did any of that have to do with it and were we supposed to care?

    “I decide tonight is the night I will bring it to an end. I bring a big kitchen knife to bed. I slash at the tentacles as they slide up my leg, but the knife passes through it like a shadow and I cut my leg.”
    NO just no. Are we supposed to just accept that the tentacles suddenly appeared out of nowhere?

    A much better phasing would be:

    “Tonight I decided to end this nightmare once and for all, so i stole a knife from my kitchen and waited in the darkness for the inevitable.
    Before I knew it the tentacles were sliding up my legs so I took action and slashed wildly at the slimy monstrosities. The knife flew through them like they were made of butter and that’s when I realized that in the process i’d sliced open my own flesh.

    1. Even your grammar sucks.

      Tonight I decided to end this nightmare once and for all. I grabbed a knife from my kitchen and went back to my bed, waiting. Soon, the tentacles were coming. They slid up my legs, pulling me. I flung around the knife and it went through the slimy tentacles. Blood seeped out of my leg, and I then realized I had sliced my leg opened.

      1. The Whetters' Farce

        I don’t care about grammar but I think this would’ve made a better ending:

        Tonight I decided that it must end so I took a kitchen knife and waited. Soon the I felt the tentacles sliding up my leg, I sliced downward in a flurry, slicing at every tentacle I saw, I fell as I started to lose consciousness and I realized… upon the attempt to strike the tentacles I had only managed to cut myself..

        1. Jane the Killer and Pyromania have issues with writing. LOL

          The Whetter’s Farce’s ending would have made this pasta much better.

    2. The girl cursed him with the tentacles is what I got as it says and I quote “she had snuck up on me, raked my arm with her sharp nails screaming something in a foreign language. She stabbed me in the throat with her finger and gave me a creepy doll laugh” the character didn’t have the tentacles before she attacked him and it was a curse that she uttered causing said tentacles.

  7. I don’t understand why did the girl attack you and then you get tendrils under your bed and they are just a figment of your imagination? why even bring up the girl if your talking about tendrils I thought it was good just kind of confusing

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