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Don’t Turn Your Back



Estimated reading time — 2 minutes

At the incessant crash and rumble of the storm outside, you jolt awake, shaking off the tendrils of confusing, light dozes.  Your bed is positioned by the windows that you forgot to close; slashes of lighting illuminate your untidy room, spatters of rain fly in.  You go to close it but stop, leaning halfway out, enraptured by the storm.  You are overwhelmed with an almost indescribable feeling, the feeling a fierce storm brings.  A churning stomach, bewildered eyes, a sense of powerlessness against this great beast that claims the sky as its own before slinking away, defeated by the dawn that battles through the cloud.

You look delightedly down at your garden, too disconcerted and too ecstatic to care that it’s being torn slowly apart.  Lawn chairs overturned, plants uprooted, great streaming lakes of rainwater covering the whole thing like a second skin.  You catch only glimpses, snapshots, being lit by random flickers of lightning.

However, just as suddenly as your strange happiness at this beautiful storm began; it turns into fear.

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The lightning stops, leaving you drenched in suffocating blackness.  The rain, as if controlled by a dimmer switch, becomes a gentle patter on the windows.  Left is the howling wind, and you.  And the silhouette in your garden.

Half of you is absolutely certain of what you saw, glorified for two or three seconds by lightning.  A man.  Standing there.  Watching you.  An immaculate, murderous smile etched onto his grubby face.   And in his hand was something positively glowing in the sudden light.  Something in the shape of a knife.

Your more rational side laughs incredulously, tells you that that is impossible.  It was a trick of the light, you’re exhausted.  For all you know, that’s a scarecrow placed there for a cruel prank.

But you have to know for sure.

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You turn away from the window and reach into the drawers by your bed, fingers fumbling for your flashlight that you keep there for emergencies or blackouts.  You click it into life, letting the beam of light swoop onto the darkness, rake through the night in pursuit of your fears come true.

There is no-one.

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You force a laugh at yourself.  But in your shaking hand, the light catches something that makes your involuntary smile freeze, makes the hairs on the back of your neck creep up to attention.  Craning your neck, you see that your back door is wide open.  It swings wildly in the wind.

You are still sat completely silently, frozen and terrified, staring out your window as your bedroom door opens silently behind you.

Credit To – Sophie C

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Copyright Statement: Unless explicitly stated, all stories published on Creepypasta.com are the property of (and under copyright to) their respective authors, and may not be narrated or performed under any circumstance.

30 thoughts on “Don’t Turn Your Back”

  1. Shape Shafter

    Why can the protag see the back door from the bedroom when the bedroom door was closed? What the hell is going on here?

    1. The backdoor is under the protagonist’s window meaning he/she is looking out the window and down.

  2. Repairmanmanmanman:
    “Something in the shape of a knife”
    Actually it’s a intergalactic power drill model 97 that looks like a knife…. This man was from the future :o

    …is it a knife?

  3. writing was good but it seemed like another generic “he’s now behind you” pasta, could have used more sauce

  4. I have a question for all those paranoid people who check behind their shower curtians for murderers. What’s your plan if there is a murderer behind them?

    1. That’s why you take a butcher knife with you into the bathroom. It’s effective, until the ironic day that another paranoid finds you innocently wielding your butcher knife while doing a bathroom sweep…

  5. My first impression was Slendy, but when the narrator said that the person had “an immaculate, murderous smile etched onto his grubby face.” I then believed that it was Jeff, as he litterally has a murderous smile etched on to his face.
    One comment though, not everyone lives in a house with a garden, and not every one has lawn chairs. If you say that the protagonist is the person reading the story, then your saying that everyone that reads this story has lawn chairs and a garden. That’s just my two cents.

  6. Pasta Connoisseur

    All round good pasta, nice amount of creepy. A little more description and build up would have been appreciated, but hey, that’s just my preference. :)

  7. I’m usually not a fan of 2nd person narrative, but this was wonderfully written. You managed to capture a good amount of trepidation and suspense in just a short amount of time, and that’s not an easy thing to do in writing. Well done.

  8. Sorry, I didn’t find this story very interesting. The descriptions were detailed, but it felt like they dragged on. And the premise of the story was not something new. A stormy night and a murderer intruding into your house…really nothing new about that. Your writing is good though, so please continue making stories. The plots just need more work :)

  9. hahaha, that was good. I was reading this in the dark in my room…and as I read the very last line my dog scratched at my door!

  10. Interesting story. But the writing style was too flowery for such a short piece. It killed the impact of the twist. A suggestion would be: less commas, more full sentences.

    1. OH NO! An author decided to spice her pasta with a tiny bit of literary prose! GOD FORBID!!! Let’s all run for our R.L. Stine Goosebumps collection and turn on some Reality TV. Maybe Honey Boo Boo will return us to our world of illiteracy.

      @Sophie C – Disregard the purveyors of prosaic form. You write to your strengths, and in whatever voice you feel comfortable with.

    1. It couldnt possibly be… its probably a guitar or a basket or maybe a book. They could be Jehovahs Witnesses. “Hello can we talk to you about your lord and Savior Jesus Christ?”

  11. I like the brevity of the story. It’s not easy to make a good story so short. However, the author was trying way to hard with the sophisticated language which made it almost unreadable. It’s a good story, so just tell it. Don’t bog it down with a bunch of meaningless words.

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