Diary of a Downward Spiral

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📅 Published on July 8, 2019

"Diary of a Downward Spiral"

Today’s first fantastic story is ‘Diary of a Downward Spiral’, an original work by Joe dog 93, kindly shared directly with me for the express purpose of having me exclusively narrate it here for you all.
Today’s second phenomenal story is ‘Ehrenmord’, an original work by Grief 557, also kindly shared directly with me for the express purpose of having me exclusively narrate it here for you all.
Other music used is credited to the wonderful The Dark Somnium (intro) and the fantastic Tanner Stokes (end credits). The music is used here with their express permission.
Video footage was made by me with whatever Go Pro Camera it is that I own… I hope you found it to be a relaxing backdrop for today’s story!
Thumbnail image created using Adobe Spark, under the conditions of the Creative Commons CC0 license: https://spark.adobe.com
Narration by: Dr. Creepen

what goes through a person’s mind
sometimes that really is the question
isn’t it and one that can be asked of
any of us all of us and is the theme of
the two stories that I have in store for
you this evening both from dr. creepers
vault the subreddit I set up so you can
share your stories with me and I could
read them all to you two intriguing
titles for you firstly we have the Diary
of a downward spiral and that’s followed
by Aaron marked two delicious treats in
store for you this evening I can tell
you a little bit more dark and
disturbing the Moe’s I would normally
read so my dear friends it’s once again
time to sit back and relax with your
favorite drink and listen
personal diary of felicity Bowman’s
March 21st dear diary oh god I haven’t
done something like this since I was a
little girl it just sounds so silly
coming from me now it’s amazing how life
can change in the blink of an eye a
couple of months back I was in peak
physical condition training to run a
marathon now I’d be lucky to hobble to
the bathroom how did this all happen
that’s a good question I can hardly
remember myself the last thing I
remember is visiting a friend’s house
for a Christmas party and then waking up
in the ICU barely being able to move to
my understanding black ice was the
Cochran’s I guess it was the airbag that
saved my life or what was left of it so
here I am now doctors recommended that I
start writing things down they say it
will help me better keep my emotions in
check in maybe even jog my memory shock
my memory
maybe I should choose my words a little
more carefully everyone tells me how
lucky I am to be alive but you know what
I’m supposed to tell the truth here if
only here anyone who thinks we’re lucky
for just existing is too stupid to
understand that there are in fact worse
things than dying I haven’t slept well
for months now the funny thing about
tossing and turning is that you don’t
start to appreciate it until you can’t
do it anymore
and I keep hearing voices coming from
upstairs when I finally do get to sleep
I’m haunted by hellish nightmares of the
it’s the same horrifying images played
on loop each time my body being meshed
and compressed along with the cold hard
steel from the car my body in it forming
some kind of demented sandwich every
morning I wake up and spend a good
minute or so trying to force myself out
of bed here you get to pour myself a cup
of coffee and take on the day the sight
of my bed sores and the agonizing pain
that comes rhythm slapped me back to
reality really quick okay enough
negativity for today I have to remember
what the psychologist said try your best
to focus on the positive well I hate to
break it to you doc once you’ve been run
off the road going 70 miles an hour the
Rose tinted spectacles you’ve been
wearing your entire life tend to turn to
so here I am now laying in a
hospital bed set up in my family room I
can’t even go upstairs to my own bedroom
and the string of burglaries that’s been
going on lately anyone could get in here
in the middle of the night all right be
completely helpless my husband Jack said
he’d take care of it though and make
sure nothing happens to me in the very
least I guess I do in fact have him to
be thankful for I’ll tell you what if it
wasn’t for him I don’t know what I would
have done the poor thing was in the
passenger seat that night he’d had too
much to drink that night and was riding
shotgun I’ve seen pictures of what’s
left of the car and believe me when I
tell you that sight took the brunt of it
my luck on my hobby though other than
some bumps and bruises he’ll be back to
his old self in no time
even though he wasn’t driving I think he
still feels a little guilty for what
happened he has to work a lot but he
made sure to get me the most expensive
caretaker he could find to watch over me
when he can’t be there
she seems great I’ll give her that but
for the money I would think she would
have a slightly better attendance
records what was her name again
Alexa something or other
my mind is drawing a blank right now
although the doctors won’t admit it I
think this medicine is with my
head in always has but what can I do
you’ve got to take it aspirin a
bedridden patient is a big no-no the
last thing I need is to catch a
thank goodness for Jack and Alexa they
make sure I never miss a dose well I
think that’s enough for now I’m kind of
tired hopefully I won’t need this
hospital bed much longer I miss going
upstairs and sleeping next to Jack it’s
too bad this damn hospital bed was only
built for one March 28th dear diary no
you know what dear god I wish I was dead
why couldn’t he just kill me and be done
with it it’s a lot of things I can put
up with but there is a limit to this
nightmarish hell that I’m willing to
enjoy did I even tell you I can’t even
wipe my own ass anymore nurse no nurse I
don’t care if you have a whole squad of
caretakers on standby
words cannot even begin to describe how
much that hurts your pride but wait
there’s more
you had myself a little accident today
Alexis at me up on the toilet today too
much do my business everything was going
okay until the telephone started to ring
I don’t know what possessed her to do
this but she left me in there alone
while she ran to get it I wound up
falling at a weird angle and banging my
face against the sink and now I look
like I went 15 rounds with Mike Tyson
the three of us had a talk about it when
Jack got home from work
turns out she was under orders from him
to make sure the phone got answered I
guess he was expecting an important
phone call I’m glad to know Jack’s job
takes precedent over me it’s nice to
know where I stand where I stand
look at me there I go again I talked to
him about it after she left
he apologized profusely and promised
that from now on Alexa is under no
circumstances to talk on the phone when
I’m in her care that was all I got and
I’m sorry and an assurance it wouldn’t
happen again
my head was killing me he didn’t even
offer to massage my neck or anything he
told me he would have his Amazon echo to
remind him to pick up some cream for my
don’t think chat realizes that I can
still remember where he keeps his gun
he’s lucky I can’t get up out of his
bedroom myself this room could use some
redecorating I think my brains would be
the perfect shade of red I’m not gonna
expose and I did in fact take a
photography class in high school the
general idea is basically the same you
just point and shoot
April 20th dear you know what forget it
that was too childish down to business
sorry it’s been so long since I last
wrote I promise the docks when I try to
maintain a more consistent schedule it’s
all been for a good reason
I assure you sorry about my last post I
was in a very dark place but I’ve had
some good long sessions with my
psychologist and after a swift
medication change I think I’ll be okay
plus where my future once seemed bleak
uncertain I now have a glimmer of hope
I’ve been working extra hard both of
physical therapy and back at home here
with Alexa
I’m proud to report that some of my
movement has started to come burn I’m
now able to hoist myself up in bed and
sit up for a little bit
the doctors were very pleased with me I
said if I keep this up I might even be
able to walk again
granted it would most likely be with a
cane and I wouldn’t be running a
marathon anytime soon but it would be so
nice to be able to walk up stairs again
to get to sleep in my own bed
unfortunately that’s where the good news
I wish Jack would have been more excited
he barely said two words on the ride
home he was too preoccupied with his own
damn phone must have taken us 20 extra
minutes to get home
we hit every goddamn red light on the
way if he wasn’t checking a text he was
yelling into that stupid thing Siri do
this Siri remind me about that talk to
me you son of a bitch I might have
banged my head a little in the accident
but I’m not an idiot I’m your wife let
me help you take your eyes off the damn
phone and talk to me at least tell me
who you’re texting there might be
something to talk about no he’s been so
secretive lately I can’t stand it ever
since the accident he’s been this way he
says he loves me but his heart just
isn’t in it well first I was grateful he
got Alexa to help me out but now I’m
starting to think it was just more
convenient for him to pay someone rather
than deal with me himself I don’t know I
guess I’m done for now
I’m exhausted I was damn voices won’t
let up
hey April 27 I haven’t been sleeping
well lately remember about the voices I
was hearing I feel like they’re getting
louder I didn’t get to sleep until about
5:00 a.m. this morning Jack keeps saying
he doesn’t hear anything I don’t know he
can’t I swear they must be coming right
from our room keeps telling me that I’m
just dreaming it well I can tell the
difference between dreams and reality
I’m only having one dream and it’s still
the nightmare of the accidents and these
voices are all too real one of these
days I’ll be strong enough to get out of
this bed I’m not gonna confront them I
know that I’m not crazy
Malak see didn’t show up today according
to Jack she wasn’t feeling well so it
was just the two of us
I must admit today he did seem to be a
bit more attentive than normal we
actually had a halfway Pleasant day even
though I was pretty tired he actually
managed to take my mind off it
it was just like he was when he carried
me through the door when we first bought
the house he placed me into the
passenger seat of his convertible we had
a pleasant Drive in the country and for
dinner he took me where we had our first
he apologized for being self tied up
with work lately and presented me with a
bottle of perfume both as a gift for
doing so well with my therapy and in the
apology the bottle was harshly empty I
didn’t care they stuff isn’t easy to
find anymore he said he got it at a
garage sale he knows how much I love the
old-fashioned stuff hmm at least he was
thinking of me I was so excited I could
hardly contain myself oh I think that’s
enough for now it’s nice not being able
to sleep from excitement I never thought
I’d feel this way again April 28th god
damn it
Sylar bitch I can’t believe it does you
think I’m some kind of idiot or
something I refuse to put up with this
Alexa came back to work today she
smelled awfully familiar cannot believe
that I didn’t notice this before bitch
was wearing perfume the same kind that
Jack claimed he’d found for me Oh
Betty look really hard all right I can’t
believe I didn’t see it before
Alexis absences Jax clandestine phone
calls him being constantly preoccupied
and those voices I wasn’t imagining
there at all and that bastard tried to
have me thinking maybe I really was
imagining it I’m not gonna stand for
this literally if I wasn’t determined to
walk again before I am for sure now I’m
not gonna let him make a fool out of me
he won’t pay for this may 26 this will
be my last entry for a while sorry I’ve
been gone so long again I had to take
some time to myself
it’s all been worth it that
unfortunately for my husband my dreams
have been coming in nice and clear
lately I remember everything now that
night of the accident my husband was in
the passenger seats and after he put
himself there one of us drank too much
that night and he was him I was never
the designated driver
I’ve been training harder and I ever
thought possible both at therapy and
here at home I decided to put my
sleepless nights to good use and get in
some extra exercise no one knows this
not Alexa not my husband nobody I can
walk again I’ve had to hide it from
everyone I’m not in tip-top shape yet my
balance is very shaky and I’m not the
fastest I think I can do the stairs I
can hear the two of them talking up
there right now I think I’ll drop in and
pay them a little visit oh boy are they
gonna be surprised I found where Jack
moved his gun I guess he wasn’t as good
as hiding as he thinks he is it’s time
to end this I hope he burns in hell for
what he did to me to whoever reads this
first my doctor the authorities I’m
but this was the only way the following
this is the channel 7 news bulletin
special we begin tonight with the tragic
story of a domestic abuse situation
turned deadly 32 year old Felicity
Beaumont was found dead late yesterday
afternoon after her caretaker arrived
late for a shift to find her laying
motionless at the bottom of the stairs
clutching a 9-millimeter pistol in her
hand her husband 34 year old Jack Bowman
was found clinging to life in the
couple’s bedroom after suffering a
severe gunshot wound to the chest when
he was discovered he could still be
heard muttering into his Amazon echo
saying Alexa dial nine-one-one
authorities believe Miss Beaumont have
been brandishing the firearm when she
slipped down the stairs causing her to
break her neck I feel like I should post
this all now this may be my only chance
to tell anyone of my experiences here
I’m covered in blood and I’m sure all
the cops are gonna come as soon as the
next shift shows up first off my name’s
John Miller and I began working at
whispering Grove University is a nice
security guard about six months ago
after an interesting extent of
government work details of which I
probably shouldn’t disclose here it was
an easy job and it paid enough to live
on I figured I could use some normalcy
though well normalcy is all I got up
until recently
I was supposed to patrol the campus and
verify that all of the doors were locked
the rest of the time I could just mess
around and more or less do whatever I
wanted as long as every so often I
walked around the campus like I said
easy being a school however I wasn’t
allowed to carry any weapons of course I
felt naked without my knife so
everything was fine and dandy until
about a week ago that’s when I started
to hear footsteps coming from upstairs
when I checked the lower rooms there are
only two floors and up until then I
thought everything was brick or cement
footsteps sounded like a child running
on hollow wood being the skeptic that I
am I decided to go check I figured some
kids had sneaked in and I must have
missed a door and left it unlocked even
though I always always check the upper
floor first oh how wrong I was judging
by the direction of the sound must have
come from room 1283 it was a lock oh I’m
nothing if not thorough
so I unlocked it and with some
difficulty and went inside
usually the master key opens just about
everything on campus not this door it
ended up being a small key I’d never
used about half way through my keyring
of height 30 or 40 keys
it all stuck and I yanked it open as
though it hadn’t been used in years and
they’d have found out that was because
it hadn’t so I got it open and went
inside for a fairly well-kept school not
like something from an abandoned
elementary school I persisted though
when I went in further and climbed the
three small steps I found old computers
and video equipment pointed at the wall
VHS tapes
I had nothing to watch them on so I
loved the room and continued the night
as if nothing had happened
pushing through the sinking feeling in
my gut side notes I realized that I
forgot to explain the shifts we work
here so here’s the breakdown three
guards work 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. 3 work 3
p.m. to 11 p.m. and I work 11 p.m. to 7
a.m. we have a skeleton crew so I
usually work by myself sometimes I have
to give up days off but the overtime pay
is nice and it keeps the lights on at
home not that anyone’s there to use them
well back to the story at hand so I went
out the next day before work to a local
pawn shop and found a VCR
I brought it with me that night to work
and plugged it into a small TV in the
Security office I was gonna figure out
what room 1283 was but first a cigarette
apparently it wasn’t just room 1283 that
wasn’t normal about the campus as when I
went out for cigarettes I ended up
having a plight with terrifying
conversation with a very proper sounding
talking boar making his way through the
campus to the Grove Outback that the
school was named for we more or less
just exchanged pleasantries once I’d
come to terms with the fact that it
would be rude not to return his greeting
it takes a lot to rattle me I guess I
just had to adjust I needed the job and
he didn’t seem to be malevolent his name
was Ralph I’m aware I probably sound
crazy but one of the afternoon guards an
older man named Jerry confirmed that the
Grove outback attracted all sorts of
oddities at night and so the old
buildings and the electrical grid were
arranged in such a way to amplify that
so I went back to 1283 after breezing
through my rounds for the night I was on
a mission I got into the room once again
pushed through the chill in the air and
the knots in my stomach grabbed the VHS
tapes in a small trash can from the room
lock the door and headed back to the
office most were ruined from age but one
was not on this tape I saw unspeakable
acts brutal violent acts committed in
the adjacent room and recorded through a
hole into 1283
it began with a man dressed as a
Catholic priest standing in the middle
of a tiled room with a drain in the
floor there was shackles hanging from
the ceiling that looked like something
from at least a century ago a young man
was dragged into the room by another man
in a hooded robe the kid looked him may
she acted like he hadn’t eaten in days
and was dirty the hooded man locked his
hands into the shackles and left the
priest took a wicked looking knife from
somewhere in his robes and the rest of
the tape was the priests removing the
boy’s skin while laughing the boys
screams were gonna stick with me for a
while he finally on ceremoniously
slipped the boys throats so deep that
his head almost came completely off I
puked I had to find out what this was an
elaborate prank to scare me or something
darker it was a joke it was the most
realistic looking act I’d ever seen
spent the majority of the next few days
at the public library reading book after
book and scouring websites after
websites it turns out that whispering
Grove used to be a facility for the care
of gifted children what I’d seen was not
care and there was a special hate in my
heart for someone who could do things
like this to a child his staff now
mostly dead were funded by the church
and apparently paid extra to assist and
keep silent when the priests made his
visits those bastards
they’d apparently remodeled when they’re
about to shut down as well as reflooring
and boarding and painting over the
studio windows no wonder it wasn’t
I brought some food for Ralph and his
family I met him outside at our usual
meetup time implied in with the food in
exchange for information
the priest’s name was Gabriel he didn’t
know the last name damn it well I gave
him some apples as promised my past work
told me anything it was that networking
was important and that night I went back
to 1283 after hearing more scampering
footsteps the boy on the tape hadn’t
been the only one and I had to figure
out how to help these children when I
walked in the room was colder than
normal I could see my breath inside it’s
July in 85 degrees outside I googled how
to contact spirits but most of it was a
mate relief I was gonna have to
wing it
something I did worked the wall I did
was walking and a loudly proclaim I’m
here to help I immediately felt a breeze
and a ceiling panel rattles the lights
flickered and dimmed I had a flashlight
but this is exactly what I had asked for
I wasn’t the enemy washed in my horror
skinless boy with his head flopping
around crawled out of the now discarded
ceiling panel
he didn’t move quite right but I suppose
that was to be expected he’s carried
down the wall and onto the floor coming
up to meet me at eye level I’m not a
small man so this teenager had clearly
already gone through his growth spurt he
gurgled while trying to speak he clearly
hadn’t used his voice in a while while
he tried clearing his throat more he
pointed to a chair and up to the panel
he’d come from he wanted me to go up
there oh no but it seemed that I
had to so I moved the chair over climbed
onto it and stuck my head into the
ceiling what’s hurting on my flashlight
I almost my pants as the light came
on I was face to face with a
semi-transparent girl no more than six
years old she was smiling at me when she
moved out of my way
I guess she knew what I was doing I saw
the rope burns on her neck I hated this
priest more and more with each passing
minute I swallowed my anger and looked
past the girl into what seemed like an
old boarded-up air vent there were so
many bones clearly this was the dumping
ground for the remnants so many kids had
suffered here and were clearly trapped
when I came back down the boy had found
his voice raspy as it still was it was
have been unnerving to see him mostly
severed head speak later he said in a
voice that sounded like sandpaper he
pushed through with short sentences
punctuated by long pauses for now st.
Peter’s Church then powers we know who
you are
the words clearly came at great
difficulty but I knew what he wanted
this sick asshole was still alive and I
was supposed to fix that maybe I’m crazy
because I was going to do it apparently
the time had gotten away from me because
for whatever reason Jerry had decided to
come in early today not only that he
decided to look around for me he got
more than he did intended when he came
up the stairs though if I thought the
spirit of the boy was unnerving before I
was certainly scared shitless when the
ghost boy heard Jerry calling out my
name presumably after seeing the light
on in the room the boy’s face twisted
into a horrible mask of rage as he
launched himself out the door and onto
Jerry the lights went out and it was
darker than it should have been
Jerry screamed that sickening
gut-wrenching scream of him in and death
by the time I gone out the room
Jerry was at the bottom of the stairs he
wasn’t moving and the spirits were gone
I closed the room and caught the cops
apparently a 76 year old man having a
heart attack was sufficient enough for
their medical examiner’s research I told
them I’d heard him yell for me by the
time I come out I’d seen him at the
bottom of the stairs not too far from
the truth not too close either that was
yesterday I found st. Peter’s Church
this morning and slept it wasn’t
difficult to play the flustered
co-worker that needed a priest for a
cleansing of demonic energies water
crock of but I expressed an
affinity for father Gabriel and was
assured that he would arrive during my
shift hmm awful late for an old man
awful early for an old monster Jews had
to be paid in full and I was going to
collect I’ve been offered the day off
but declined as I needed the money which
wasn’t a complete lie I went out for my
smoke at the start of my shift
spotted Ralf he told me to go to the
Groves before the night’s events how
would he know hmm
smart Pig and hid as he said a Grove was
aptly named as when I entered I heard
constant unintelligible whispering after
a moment the glint of something shiny
caught my eye from across the clearing
and may my over to it and picked up a
knife so long and sharp it could have
been classified as a sword not knowing
what else to do I thank the trees hid
the knife in my backpack and made my way
to the front of the building just as his
father Gabriel arrived emerging from the
car before telling them to come back in
the morning he figured this was going to
take all night little did he know it
would take the rest of his life I had to
mask my intentions I shifted my
expression to that of timid concern and
fear I’m here now my child the old man
said with an eerie tone of superiority
he threw up in my mouth a little at the
attempted relation I walked him through
the rest of the school first service to
alert him of my intentions pointless
conversations about nothing the entire
time as he made a show of pretending to
cleanse the campus and banish evil
spirits the worst evil there was him but
not for long if he was wired as we
approached 1283 then he hid it
professional was getting harder to hide
my intentions and disgust and I could
feel the temperature dropping he must
have felt it too maybe he was complacent
and oblivious as he rounded the corner a
while back and hit him in the head as
hard as I’d ever hit anything before I
put my whole body into it he crumpled he
woke at about 3:00 a.m. I couldn’t use
the room he’d used as it was carpeted
now so I used a staff shower he woke up
and started freaking out when he
realized he was tied to the shower heads
I poured out the knife and he started
screaming I couldn’t help but laugh as
like cut his skin off he screams only
fueling my laughter and drive to
continue this was my errand my honor
killing I was the Vengeance that
children need
and he felt that fact he died within the
it took me about another hour to bag up
all the bones videotapes and the priests
ropes I took them out behind the Grove
to burn them when I got back to the
office to await my fate with the cops
as I had no way to dispose of a body I
picked up his wallet
an old yellow picture fell out it was a
picture of him and the boy and the
hooded man but the hooded man was
and he looked an awful like a younger
version of Jerry a couple of weird and
wonderful stories there for you on this
evening thoughts feelings comments in
the comment section below the video
and I’ll do my best to join in the chat
as I can well just a reminder that I am
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very much appreciated those of you that
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my way I cannot tell you how much I
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that’s not what I want to talk so if you
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like leave a comment all those things
really do help me in the long run
love you all guys thanks for your
support and of course I will see you
again very very soon but until then
sweet dreams
thank you so much for choosing to spend
your time listening to me now if you
enjoyed the doctor creeping experience
and come find me on Facebook come chat
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