It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.
And that’s when you met me.
“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”
“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point mincing words.
“There was a…a truck and it was skidding…”
“Yup.” I said
“I… I died?”
“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies.” I said.
You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”
“More or less,” I said.
“Are you god?” You asked.
“Yup.” I replied. “I’m God.”
“My kids… my wife,” you said.
“What about them?”
“Will they be alright?”
“That what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”
You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Some vague authority figure. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”
“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”
“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”
“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right.”
“All the religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”
You followed along as we strolled in the void. “Where are we going?” “Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”
“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”
“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”
I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part or yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.”
“You’ve been a human for the last 34 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for longer, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point doing that between each life.”
“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”
“Oh, lots. Lots and lots. And into lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 A.D.”
“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”
“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”
“Where do you come from?” You pondered.
“Oh sure!” I explained. “I come from somewhere. somewhere else. and there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there but you honestly won’t understand.”
“Oh.” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If i get reincarnated to other places in time, could I have interacted with myself at some point?”
“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own timespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”
“So what’s the point of it all?”
“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? Your asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”
“Well it’s a reasonable question.” you persisted.
I looked in your eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”
“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”
“No. just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature, and become a larger and greater intellect” “Just me? What about everyone else?”
“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you, and me.”
You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”
“All you. Different incarnations of you.”
“Wait. I’m everyone!?”
“Now you’re getting it.” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.
“I’m every human who ever lived?”
“Or who will ever live, yes.”
“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”
“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too.” I added.
“I’m Hitler?” you said, appalled.
“And you’re the millions he killed.”
“I’m Jesus?”
“And you’re everyone who followed him.”
You fell silent.
“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “You were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”
“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”
“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”
“Whoa.” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”
“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”
“So the whole universe,” you said. “It’s just…”
“An egg of sorts.” I answered. “Now its time for you to move on to your next life.”
And with that, I sent you on your way.
Credit: Andy Weir
Copyright Statement: Unless explicitly stated, all stories published on Creepypasta.com are the property of (and under copyright to) their respective authors, and may not be narrated or performed under any circumstance.
Total mindfuck. Excellent pasta.
I know this pasta is 4 years old at the time I’m commenting but I love it. I have read it multiple times and every time I read it, it gives me chills. I genuinely love the mind boggling thought put behind this. It’s an amazing concept and I love it.
oh shit
This is crazy
Gives new meaning to the term ‘Go f*ck yourself!’
This is actually really terrifying. Think of all the terrible ways people have died…you’d have to experience all of them.
WOW. This is fantastic. And Andy Weir went on to write The Martian.
That was pretty deep
BUT WHO WAS GOD?
Brahman?
I may be late to the party, but…
Holy pasta! This is beautiful, sir.
has someone been listening to alan watts? ;)
My brain hurts thinking about this concept.
Um, my brain just exploded, froze, melted, incinerated, imploded, shattered, hung itself, and blew it’s brains out with a 12-gauge.
I would be like “OMFG I’M JOHNNY DEPP?! OH AND JUSTIN BIEBER EWWWW! AND MILEY UGH!”
Sounds like someone’s been reading ‘Conversations with God’. Lines of thought like this bring new meaning to the phrase ‘Go fuck yourself’.
This is an amazing concept
How you thought of this is beyond me
Took me while to wrap my head around it but I figured it would be the same as watching every persons life on a tv screen one at a time
YES YES YES YES!!!! One of my all-time FAVORITE stories!!!!! I heard it first from a friend and have been looking for it FOREVER!!!!!!
Mind fuck…
This pasta makes me feel very alone. If I am indeed everyone then I would also be every creature in the universe. The soul is the spiritual source of our being but the body is still biologic which would have me assume that both religion and science are correct. Making our bodies the vessels for the spiritual entity of the immortal soul. But only through evolution have the vessels come about to contain it meaning I am every germ, every parasite, every animal and every human. I am alone with only myself for comfort
Love it!
But…then that means that I am…the Rake, Killer Jeff, Dream Weaver, Smile Dog, all of those ghosts/demons in the mirror, all of those creepy dolls, Killer Jane, that demon from the harbinger experiment, that ghosts Micky Mouse from Bolu’s castle, slender Man, Genevieve, and and…Phone. Oh my potential me I was Phone! Ooo ooo also Candle Ja………..
So in this context, the only person you’ve ever had sex with all your lives is yourself.
Religious yes. boring yes. Cheapest story ding ding ding.
I feel like this story is actually true. Hold on… I’M BILL GATES! And Hitler. (Feels extremely disappointed)But at least I can go around telling people that I’m MOTHER EFFIN’ JESUS!
Dude. I just became a Chinese Peasant Girl.
Wish you luck.
Çöōl
This was so f—ing funny
I thought it was boring as hell.
I don’t even know what to say right now except… What The Fuck did I just read?!?
ohmifuck.
I don’t curse, but this agrees with all the shit I’ve ever believed in.
I’M FAVORITING IT
There’s two kinds of people in this world lmfao. The kind who look at this and think “Wow what an intellectual pasta. More please” then there’s you lmfao
COMPLETE MIND FUCK….i cant even ._________.
But who was egg?
Lol, he’s every furry cosplayer that has ever existed.
Mashing up the cosmic egg hypothesis with reincarnation with nirvana was a nice idea, but ultimately the story didn’t ascend beyond cliche maid and butler dialog. There is no reason for this discussion to take place other than to present an info dump to the reader.
Holy crap
BUT WHO WAS WHO ?!?!
I can’t be the only one who envisioned God as Morgan Freeman. Wait a minute… I just realized that I AM Morgan Freeman! We are ALL Morgan Freeman!!!
Not really creepy but still a cool story
:33< It's weird that humans can't smell writing.
:33< This wasn't a pasta! This was a furry interesting story by the human Andy Weir!
Woah. That was actually one of the best things I’ve read in along time. It is less creepy and scary then a statement. I like that. Thanks, whoever wrote this.
That was great!
I’ll be quite honest. Didn’t much care for this story.
I jut loved this, not spooky at all, but it a nice idea
I know this probably makes no sense, but… I gotta say it.
BUT WHO WAS GOD??
So every time you get in on the action you fuck yourself?
Didn’t really do much for me, not creepy, nor is it particularly though provoking. Plus I’ve encountered this story in the past in (pun intended) different incarnations.
For me to understand this is like smelling the colour 69
So I’m Derpbutt?
No, this is Patrick!
We are all Patrick.
We are all Derpbutt.
Read this before on tumblr… I have yet to see how this is creepy or scary?
Very interesting. Not scary, but pure Hindu philosophy and quantum physics. One energy, one universe. We’re all connected. Good stuff to see.
That just blew my mind. And changed my thinking completely. Woah. Thank you for putting that amazing piece of writing into the world
This pasta was so good, it made me hungry.
I think i’mma go kill some people.
Forever alone. :’)
Waiter! Waiter!
Who else read this with Morgan Freeman’s voice in their head?
I will never do another hurtful deed to anyone again ._.
Hello future/past me
So you are me and I am you kinda thing?
I was okay with the idea until I started thinking that I would have to live the lives of miserable, tortured people.
Very well explained, well detailed, and had a good plot and spelling. To whoever wrote this, YOU’RE GREAT AT WRITING SHORT STORIES!!!! :D I’m sure you’ll be famous someday ;)
You read this in my voice. Admit it.
Eh. It was well written and interesting to say the least, I’m just not into the whole “you’re the center of the universe/only true life in the universe” vibe i see in a lot of philosophical pastas.
It could just be my own religious views were going along with it right until it became clear he was the only true soul in the universe. Either way, eh.
you know, my mind is blown. BLOWN! i think this is pretty religious, and goes against all i have been taught, but it still makes you think. and then i thought, “wait, so would be, if this was true, my mom, and my brother, and my best friend, and my neighbor, and my future children, and my future husband, etc…” and my brain started hurting, and only then was i creeped out because i didnt want to be everyone. only me. but wouldnt it be cool to be the president or something? or neil armstrong? or einstein? all the famous inventors and all the famous scientists, all of them would be YOU. but, i dont believe it, but i will ask around and see if any one else does. bye-nee!
My mind just bought a one-way ticket to fucked town.
So wait. If he was everyone- he was his wife. He had sex with himself. Yes, that seriously is the first thing I thought of. Mind= blown O.o
I know this wasn’t creepy. However it was a well thought out idea and was well written. I read these a lot (like to the point were i realize i am wasting my life) and few affect me really. I read this one yesterday, obviously i enjoyed it but thought little of it… Until last night. I just couldnt get the idea out of my head… It didnt scare me, but it just sat there so i couldnt sleep for thinkong about it. So well done. A very good pasta.
Can I fry it?
Not really creepy in anyway but an interesting concept!
I read that whole thing in Morgan Freemans voice lol
10/10,that was clever as hell and well written
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5deRy-HWEM
This pasta is great!
Honestly i was thinking if it isn true cause i came up with that idea as i was 7
Kinda wierd
godDAMN mindfvck
loving this pasta
this was excellently written! though not creepy, mind-blowing!
This…. profoundly disturbed me….
Wired but cool
not scary at all, but without a doubt one of the best things I’ve ever read!!! I LOVE IT. I wouldn’t really call it a pasta, but more of a gourmet masterpiece of awesomeness. THIS FREAKING ROCKS.
Fantastic mind-fuck pasta man.
So that means we’re a virgin, and we just had sex (With our self, no less). We’re dead and alive. We all drowned and burned. We are our predecessors and descendants. We are male and female. We live in the north, south, east and west. We are hideous and attractive. We are evil and holy. We are Christian and Atheist, Hebrew and Jewish, etc. We love ourselves and hate ourselves. We are rich and impoverished. We are happy and depressed. It is our birthday every day. And we’ve all received… “stimulaton” from our mothers, fathers, cousins, siblings, aunts, uncles, and so on. Right?
Don’t use ‘we’. Use ‘I’ :D
This contains some punctuation errors, but I let them go and rated it 10/10. It’s not creepy at all, of course, but as science fiction of a sort it contains some pretty beautiful thoughts. To be honest, I’ve thought about stuff like this before, but I couldn’t word it like this. So. Two thumbs up. I’d join the religion, seriously.
I forgot to add — yeah, I’ve read this before. Fourth sci-fi megapack, actually. The original title is “The Egg,” not “An Egg.” Articles matter, pahaha.
This is like, Mind-fuck 2000.
i dont wanna be charles manson
This is a very good short story with a thoughtful and original concept. 10/10
major mind fuck right here.
Hi me
so essentually everytime you have sex your having sex with yourself so does that mean sex doesn’t exist it’s just masturbating??
Um…… Peace out!
It wasn’t scary, but a very interesting and well written theological theory.
Good story somewhat makes you think
Holy mind-f|_|ck
Damn dis is a serious mind-blow, amazing nonetheless just dont think its a creepypasta, try jeff the killer, but no i digress, an amazing story and kinda makes sense, wow imagine being your gf O_o
This was just a slop cut hindu insight and im pretty sure this is https://creepypasta.com not some religous website on what lifes meaning is ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Funny and made me think. Awesome pasta. I think about shit like this all the time and this is just perfectly worded the way i would if i could.
awesome, makes you think lol
I had this type of pasta as a nightmare once. I have a story written somewhere… Briefly, you are reincarnated as *everything* that has ever lived, or will live, and at the end, you realize you are god. It’s just you and the emptiness….
Hahaha I’ve had more trippy thoughts of the world in such perspectives I can’t read this without going “seen it…”
I shouldn’t have read this while high.
Fuck.
It makes it even more mind blowing when you are though.
First place I read this story was actually on Highdeas.
I’ve never been high, but something tells me that I shouldn’t have read it while sober.
i tried to read this while on acid but my computer turned into a gorilla and the keyboard started talking to me in slytherin
That… took an interesting turn…
It’s awesome. Kind of redefines, ‘don’t do unto others what you don’t want others to do unto you’
Completely changed my thinking forever. Thank you.
0.o? Holy shit..
Mind-fuck pasta..
Mind=blown
Haaaa!
He was birthed by himself, after marrying and having sex with himself. He was raised by himself, and went to school, taught by himself. He was tormented and befriended by himself. He graduated and gave his speech to himself. He got hired by himself, and met and fell in love himself. After getting married to himself, he had sex with himself. He then gave birth to himself. After that he died. That wasn’t the end though. After he died, he was raised by himself… ad infinitum.
I love the whole thing. Altough it’s a bit confusing at start it get’s more creepy the more you read.
It was kinda creepy for me though…I came to the conclusion of this before even reading this…. 0_0
Yup, you’re psychic. For sure… 0.o
Nah… He read it in his past life as you and me. No such thing as psychic any more, dude.
I came to the conclusion that he was going to be resurrected as a Chinese peasant girl and then immediately come back because her parents wanted a boy so they killed her.
This story was amazing. Truly just made me think outside of the box
it made me think in the outside think box
This was very interesting.
Not creepy in the slightest, and had far more mechanical problems than I’d have liked, but the story was really quite good. Makes you think. I like that.
That wasn’t even creepy, but it was a bit mindblowing which made a good pasta
This is a seriously delicious pasta.
this pasta confused the heck out of me I couldn’t figure out who was who
simple:everyone except God was you.
Is*
Even phone?
Even phone.
Especially phone.
Do it =3
I’m think I’m going to have to write a pasta about vanishing submissions! Oh the horror, pain and anguish.
Thanks, I’ll edit that in. I’m trying to find the original submission for this to see who submitted it to us without credit, but the entire thing seems to have somehow vanished o.o I can’t find the original submission at all…
I don’t see him credited, but this story is originally by a writer named Andy Weir. Make sure to give credit where credit is due people.
it says right at the end “Credit: Andy Weir” read more thoroughly next time
Your me wow
Note that your post is a year after this post, as my post is almost a month after your post, and that the posts further down are likewise old and start with “thanks, I’ll edit that in.”
GG
And they were posted exactly when they were meant to be.
Start being cool Ryan and stop being such a poser.
hmmm i guess my grandfather would be reborn too hopely as my child.