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An Egg



Estimated reading time — 4 minutes

It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.

And that’s when you met me.

“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”

“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point mincing words.

“There was a…a truck and it was skidding…”

“Yup.” I said

“I… I died?”

“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies.” I said.

You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”

“More or less,” I said.

“Are you god?” You asked.

“Yup.” I replied. “I’m God.”

“My kids… my wife,” you said.

“What about them?”

“Will they be alright?”

“That what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”

You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Some vague authority figure. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”

“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”

“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”

“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right.”

“All the religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”

You followed along as we strolled in the void. “Where are we going?” “Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”

“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”

“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”

I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part or yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.”

“You’ve been a human for the last 34 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for longer, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point doing that between each life.”

“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”

“Oh, lots. Lots and lots. And into lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 A.D.”

“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”

“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”

“Where do you come from?” You pondered.

“Oh sure!” I explained. “I come from somewhere. somewhere else. and there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there but you honestly won’t understand.”

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“Oh.” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If i get reincarnated to other places in time, could I have interacted with myself at some point?”

“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own timespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”

“So what’s the point of it all?”

“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? Your asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”

“Well it’s a reasonable question.” you persisted.

I looked in your eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”

“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”

“No. just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature, and become a larger and greater intellect” “Just me? What about everyone else?”

“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you, and me.”

You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”

“All you. Different incarnations of you.”

“Wait. I’m everyone!?”

“Now you’re getting it.” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.

“I’m every human who ever lived?”

“Or who will ever live, yes.”

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“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”

“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too.” I added.

“I’m Hitler?” you said, appalled.

“And you’re the millions he killed.”

“I’m Jesus?”

“And you’re everyone who followed him.”

You fell silent.

“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “You were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”

“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”

“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”

“Whoa.” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”

“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”

“So the whole universe,” you said. “It’s just…”

“An egg of sorts.” I answered. “Now its time for you to move on to your next life.”

And with that, I sent you on your way.

Credit: Andy Weir

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145 thoughts on “An Egg”

  1. I know this pasta is 4 years old at the time I’m commenting but I love it. I have read it multiple times and every time I read it, it gives me chills. I genuinely love the mind boggling thought put behind this. It’s an amazing concept and I love it.

  2. This is actually really terrifying. Think of all the terrible ways people have died…you’d have to experience all of them.

  3. ThisIsANameForAComment

    Sounds like someone’s been reading ‘Conversations with God’. Lines of thought like this bring new meaning to the phrase ‘Go fuck yourself’.

  4. This is an amazing concept
    How you thought of this is beyond me
    Took me while to wrap my head around it but I figured it would be the same as watching every persons life on a tv screen one at a time

  5. YES YES YES YES!!!! One of my all-time FAVORITE stories!!!!! I heard it first from a friend and have been looking for it FOREVER!!!!!!

  6. This pasta makes me feel very alone. If I am indeed everyone then I would also be every creature in the universe. The soul is the spiritual source of our being but the body is still biologic which would have me assume that both religion and science are correct. Making our bodies the vessels for the spiritual entity of the immortal soul. But only through evolution have the vessels come about to contain it meaning I am every germ, every parasite, every animal and every human. I am alone with only myself for comfort

  7. Why do they run?

    But…then that means that I am…the Rake, Killer Jeff, Dream Weaver, Smile Dog, all of those ghosts/demons in the mirror, all of those creepy dolls, Killer Jane, that demon from the harbinger experiment, that ghosts Micky Mouse from Bolu’s castle, slender Man, Genevieve, and and…Phone. Oh my potential me I was Phone! Ooo ooo also Candle Ja………..

  8. I feel like this story is actually true. Hold on… I’M BILL GATES! And Hitler. (Feels extremely disappointed)But at least I can go around telling people that I’m MOTHER EFFIN’ JESUS!

  9. ohmifuck.
    I don’t curse, but this agrees with all the shit I’ve ever believed in.
    I’M FAVORITING IT

  10. ForeverMyMaster

    lordTWeaKslide:
    so essentually everytime you have sex your having sex with yourself so does that mean sex doesn’t exist it’s just masturbating??

    There’s two kinds of people in this world lmfao. The kind who look at this and think “Wow what an intellectual pasta. More please” then there’s you lmfao

  11. Mashing up the cosmic egg hypothesis with reincarnation with nirvana was a nice idea, but ultimately the story didn’t ascend beyond cliche maid and butler dialog. There is no reason for this discussion to take place other than to present an info dump to the reader.

  12. I can’t be the only one who envisioned God as Morgan Freeman. Wait a minute… I just realized that I AM Morgan Freeman! We are ALL Morgan Freeman!!!

  13. Woah. That was actually one of the best things I’ve read in along time. It is less creepy and scary then a statement. I like that. Thanks, whoever wrote this.

  14. Didn’t really do much for me, not creepy, nor is it particularly though provoking. Plus I’ve encountered this story in the past in (pun intended) different incarnations.

  15. Very interesting. Not scary, but pure Hindu philosophy and quantum physics. One energy, one universe. We’re all connected. Good stuff to see.

  16. That just blew my mind. And changed my thinking completely. Woah. Thank you for putting that amazing piece of writing into the world

  17. I was okay with the idea until I started thinking that I would have to live the lives of miserable, tortured people.

  18. Very well explained, well detailed, and had a good plot and spelling. To whoever wrote this, YOU’RE GREAT AT WRITING SHORT STORIES!!!! :D I’m sure you’ll be famous someday ;)

  19. Eh. It was well written and interesting to say the least, I’m just not into the whole “you’re the center of the universe/only true life in the universe” vibe i see in a lot of philosophical pastas.

    It could just be my own religious views were going along with it right until it became clear he was the only true soul in the universe. Either way, eh.

  20. Person#122,760,435

    you know, my mind is blown. BLOWN! i think this is pretty religious, and goes against all i have been taught, but it still makes you think. and then i thought, “wait, so would be, if this was true, my mom, and my brother, and my best friend, and my neighbor, and my future children, and my future husband, etc…” and my brain started hurting, and only then was i creeped out because i didnt want to be everyone. only me. but wouldnt it be cool to be the president or something? or neil armstrong? or einstein? all the famous inventors and all the famous scientists, all of them would be YOU. but, i dont believe it, but i will ask around and see if any one else does. bye-nee!

  21. So wait. If he was everyone- he was his wife. He had sex with himself. Yes, that seriously is the first thing I thought of. Mind= blown O.o

  22. I know this wasn’t creepy. However it was a well thought out idea and was well written. I read these a lot (like to the point were i realize i am wasting my life) and few affect me really. I read this one yesterday, obviously i enjoyed it but thought little of it… Until last night. I just couldnt get the idea out of my head… It didnt scare me, but it just sat there so i couldnt sleep for thinkong about it. So well done. A very good pasta.

  23. not scary at all, but without a doubt one of the best things I’ve ever read!!! I LOVE IT. I wouldn’t really call it a pasta, but more of a gourmet masterpiece of awesomeness. THIS FREAKING ROCKS.

  24. So that means we’re a virgin, and we just had sex (With our self, no less). We’re dead and alive. We all drowned and burned. We are our predecessors and descendants. We are male and female. We live in the north, south, east and west. We are hideous and attractive. We are evil and holy. We are Christian and Atheist, Hebrew and Jewish, etc. We love ourselves and hate ourselves. We are rich and impoverished. We are happy and depressed. It is our birthday every day. And we’ve all received… “stimulaton” from our mothers, fathers, cousins, siblings, aunts, uncles, and so on. Right?

  25. This contains some punctuation errors, but I let them go and rated it 10/10. It’s not creepy at all, of course, but as science fiction of a sort it contains some pretty beautiful thoughts. To be honest, I’ve thought about stuff like this before, but I couldn’t word it like this. So. Two thumbs up. I’d join the religion, seriously.

    1. I forgot to add — yeah, I’ve read this before. Fourth sci-fi megapack, actually. The original title is “The Egg,” not “An Egg.” Articles matter, pahaha.

  26. so essentually everytime you have sex your having sex with yourself so does that mean sex doesn’t exist it’s just masturbating??

  27. Damn dis is a serious mind-blow, amazing nonetheless just dont think its a creepypasta, try jeff the killer, but no i digress, an amazing story and kinda makes sense, wow imagine being your gf O_o

  28. Funny and made me think. Awesome pasta. I think about shit like this all the time and this is just perfectly worded the way i would if i could.

  29. I had this type of pasta as a nightmare once. I have a story written somewhere… Briefly, you are reincarnated as *everything* that has ever lived, or will live, and at the end, you realize you are god. It’s just you and the emptiness….

    1. i tried to read this while on acid but my computer turned into a gorilla and the keyboard started talking to me in slytherin

    1. He was birthed by himself, after marrying and having sex with himself. He was raised by himself, and went to school, taught by himself. He was tormented and befriended by himself. He graduated and gave his speech to himself. He got hired by himself, and met and fell in love himself. After getting married to himself, he had sex with himself. He then gave birth to himself. After that he died. That wasn’t the end though. After he died, he was raised by himself… ad infinitum.

    1. I came to the conclusion that he was going to be resurrected as a Chinese peasant girl and then immediately come back because her parents wanted a boy so they killed her.

  30. This was very interesting.

    Not creepy in the slightest, and had far more mechanical problems than I’d have liked, but the story was really quite good. Makes you think. I like that.

  31. Thanks, I’ll edit that in. I’m trying to find the original submission for this to see who submitted it to us without credit, but the entire thing seems to have somehow vanished o.o I can’t find the original submission at all…

  32. I don’t see him credited, but this story is originally by a writer named Andy Weir. Make sure to give credit where credit is due people.

      1. Note that your post is a year after this post, as my post is almost a month after your post, and that the posts further down are likewise old and start with “thanks, I’ll edit that in.”
        GG

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