Tourist Trap
In rural Wisconsin, there is an old abandoned park. Built in the 1920s, it served as the town’s gathering place for everyone.
That is, until a newly developed Train and Tunnel for Tots™ ride was installed in 1932. It was an innocent looking childish train, with one main (mechanized) head car, with three small trolleys pulled behind it. It went around some loops before going into a small tunnel.
But this is where the story gets weird. There were numerous cases of child deaths that year, all of them happening after the child rode on that train system. Some kids went missing in that short tunnel (about ten feet), and others went comatose after leaving. One, upon exiting, was found to be dead. Her dress was covered in what looked like small bloody handprints. Some killed themselves by scratching at their throats until they bled out, and one of them even killed another child before hanging herself with razor wire at the family’s farm.
The park was closed, and the town’s popularity as a tourist town plummeted.
Recently, a team of scientists were sent out to the park. They taped a video camera to the train, and put a new intern in with it, before sending it on its way onto the tracks.
When the train left the tunnel, it was empty, except for the camera.
The last ten seconds were nothing but static, save for the sound of children laughing.
–
Credited to Arachne.
I don’t get it O_o
Woah bronco!
@0_O
Basically the children that went in the ride killed them self because of something in the tunnel.
So recently a team of scientists went there to see what caused these children to kill them self so they taped a camera to the train and sent it in.
When the train came out the tape was empty exept for the last 10 seconds where there was a sound of children laughing.
Also its great to see a pasta that is actually interesting enough to read till the end of it.
excellent! Finallt this site is getting back to the basics. I wouldn’t have minded some more details, but tasty pasta overall.
A nice, short, tasty pasta! I like this!
ahh so short and simple, quite delicious pasta I say
Yep, send an intern into a tunnel which has been linked to the deaths of multiple children, sounds about right. Aaaanywayz, was still fun to read.
Eh, alright. Would you not send the camera alone first? I don’t think you’d send in an intern too. “Oh yeah, we need to investigate this tunnel where a bunch of children died. So we’ll run the train through with a camera running. Oh and Eric you go too.”
All in all, vagueness can be your friend in writing creepypasta, but I need more than children laughing (read: generic creepy).
BUT WHO WAS TOTS???
I like it when I don’t think about it.
If the tunnel was only 10 feet long, why not just illuminate it with something completely? Why not just light it up where you could see everything and walk in.
But I’m nitpicking, it was actually creepy and a decent enough read. 8/10.
This was actually quite good. A little chilling. Not nerve-bendingly horrifying but enough to make me shudder. Nice work.
also….
BUT WHO WAS BLOODY HANDPRINTS?
Short and Sweet
That was interesting and indeed creepy.
Short, had some errors, but…
I feel tingly. Well done, past writer.
THEN WHO WAS CHILDREN
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Finally, a pasta that will get no tl;dr! I do read every pasta though, to be frank.
This one was exactly what a creepypasta should be.
Ahahahaha it’s been a while since a pasta has sent a chill down my spine. Very refreshing! Thankyou, author.
Not bad, good to see a short, effective pasta.
BUT WHO WAS INTERN
I WANT THIS TO BE LONGERRR
GREMLINS
We’re not safe anymore.
I enjoyed this one, another short and sweet pasta.
I can’t help but imagine that clown train that’s used for the ‘locations’ header.
Interesting story, but a little short.
*applause*
I love the short pastas!
Frankly, I liked this pasta. It’s short and sweet, not too wordy, and leaves the reader to guess at what’s actually happening. Though I do think it was stupid of the scientists to send in an intern, I mean, how stupid can you be? I agree with Anon that they should have just lit up the tunnel, but that could have shown nothing. Perhaps the tunnel only killed if it was dark or something. I don’t know.
9/10
LETS JUST DESTROY TUNNEL WITH CRANES YES?
Yay! I didn’t recognize the pasta at first because i asked them to come up with a new name.
Thanks for the comments guys!
Well, Eric, maybe you shouldn’t have stolen my fucking Doritos. Get in the train with the camera.
That ruined the pasta for me. It’s like adding too much sauce.
I’m going to be honest. I felt like it could maybe use a little editing, especially in the end. The ending was sorta scary for a second, and then I thought, “wait, haven’t I read this before…?”
I think this is a great pasta, and it’s got a lot of potential for being super creepy, but I get the feeling it’s not QUITE there yet. I’m too picky, though.
All in all, refreshing and delicious pasta.
creepy. I kinda think of the clown train at the top when I read this.
Short pastas are usually the best, and this is no exception. Delicious!
Wonderfully creepy, but ultimately directionless. There was no real climax and no real explanation, or even an attempt at one. Still, it’s great because of how pleasantly short it is. We need more pasta like this.
Sounds like it belongs on the SCP Foundation website. I agree with the 10ft comment, but that’s the only problem I really had with it. It was excellent, otherwise.
Eerie, I liked it
Oh and Eric, you go too
lol
The fist decent story I’ve read here in a long time.
8/10
Heh, looks like everyone loves this. So do I, I suppose.
™’d bitches!
I enjoyed myself. :3
Good, but not sensible, lolz.
10-foot-long tunnel? And the “last” ten seconds of what – of getting through the very long tunnel? Honestly, you take a few strides and you’re through. Anon had it right when they questioned the length of the tunnel.
Good, but non sensible, lolz.
LOLZ.
I like short stories better. This one’s very good, but if it was looonger, the ending would have been disappointing… you know what I mean?
Am I the only one who is bored by this? It’s great that it’s short and all, but it wasn’t that interesting.
BUT WHO WAS LAUGHTER?
So if the kids are killing the kids, who killed the first kid?
Why all the positive remarks? This pasta sucked ground gopher balls through a dick. People died in a dark area. Absolutely no explanation given. Is the laughter of children supposed to be frightening? Weak.
Beautiful! This captures the spirit of what creepypasta used to be… short, creepy and vague… Well done.
BUT WHO WAS SCIENTISTS???
Oooh~
There’s something really classic about this! Short, to the point, has creepy children and darkness… Wow. I wanna cry happy tears now that I know that the essence of creepypasta has yet to die.
Bravo, I say.
9/10!
Gave me the chills. I’m never going to a rural Wisconsin town.
What’s my reason to go to that state, anyway?
You know it’s a great pasta when it actually doesn’t get that many comments! There’s no snarkers going “this is shit, I would rather die than read this again, 2/10.”
I just wish this one was longer. Great start though.
To all of the people commenting about the tunnels length and teh intern thing:
I have an edited version of this pasta on the forums (i realized i had an earlier copy on there on accident. its updated now), and phone updated that one onto here.
My fault. D:
http://creepypasta.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=12986
^newer version. :3
~Arachne
Too all of the people commenting about the intern (Eric? hehe. Maybe he DOES like doritoes) and the tunnels length, I accidentally posted the wrong version of it on the forums. I’ve edited the main post, so i hope Phone is kind enough (<3? ;-;) to update it here for me.
Either way, you can read the updated version here:
http://creepypasta.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=12986
~Arachne
I love this. It’s espicially creepy considering I live near the tourist trap known as the Wisconsin Dells.
You are all retarded. This fucking sucks. Predictable and boring.
lol @ “rural wisconsin” why does all the fucked up shit have to happen in hick areas? obviously the author is making all these comments. shit sucked.
10 FEET LONG. FUCKING FAIL.
Definitely creepy. Good job!!
Uhh, how could you be scared by this? There was absolutely nothing original or frightening about this.
Uhh, how could you be scared by this story? There was absolutely nothing original or frightening about it.
i feel there could have been more testing of the tunnel, like with just a camera, nothing happens, all lit up and explored, nothing happens, then on a whim some scientists ride and get taken, or go all ‘Contact’ and the cameras have way longer footage on them than the tunnel ride could possibly be… idk. but i like the short ones. some of these creepypastas have been straight up novellas.
everyone must be desperate for a good creepypasta. this shit blew ass.
@Rabbit: haha. I live in the northwoods, so we get alot of tourists up here for the hunting. I feel your pain.
Thanks anyway.
@lol *shrug* Its still pretty rough imo. People on the forums wanted me to suggest it, so I did.
@Charles Bronson *shrug* cabin fever maybe? And since Phone approves all of the messages, I could assume she has some sort of IP address thing to tell her who is posting multiple comments. I am not doing that.
@Wat originally, it was supposed to be 30 or something, but i type-o’d it, but never remembered to change it. It was removed in the new version that can be found on the forums.
@Cheryl waiiiiit. Aunt Cheryl? ._.
@ChairCry *shrug* like i said before, its rough. I don’t honestly like it all that much either.
Oops, forgot to mention:
Pasta updated again.
Read it at http://creepypasta.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=12986&
(by the way, Phone, since you /hopefully/ read the majority of the message before you approve it, would you mind updating the main post? D: Feel free to edit this part out if you can. XD)
They put a new intern on the train? What the fuck man. WHAT THE FUCK.
pretty creepy. Cool storyy!
Intern? More like redshirt.
It was a great pasta, but the Hades ride in the Wisconsin Dells was also dark, and no one died there, so maybe the ride was cursed/there was something in it.
BUT WHO WAS TRAIN?!?!11!?
Pretty creepy. I’d approve this.
Now that is some good pasta, damn.
@MackieG: that was the point… D:
@Anonymous: Phone was.
@Anonymous: <3
I wonder when the intern’s name became Eric.
Imperfect, but I liked this much better than other recent posts. Brief and simple, didn’t employ excessive description or background information to make it creepy. It gave me a chill, that much is certain; it’s a refreshing step in the right direction.
8/10
Not very original, but very well written. Don’t misunderstand me; I can’t write myself, so I’m not complaining at all. Good one! ^^
Maybe Eric should’ve been okay after all? It only affected children, right?
“Well, Eric, maybe you shouldn’t have stolen my fucking Doritos. Get in the train with the camera.”
Kind of how I imagined it going down.
Anyway, I really liked it. Children fucking creep me out.
@Anon: I think it was with Lolwhat’s comment about the Doritoes.
Thats when it became official to me, at least.
i wonder what would happen if you took the tunnel apart.
This was good.
I live in a kind of rural part of Wisconsin ;-;
This was good. It just had the atmosphere of the old-style pastas – and, yeah, I liked it. It was good.
rape them in the colon
… You would think that after the first child’s death the ride should have been shut down immediately. Because, you know, that’s what happens in the real world, even if it was an accident.
And if it happened EVERY time the train went in the tunnel it would have been shut down that very day and no good, loving parent would let their child on a ride that kills them.
Unbelievable, predictable, bland. 1/10
For this to be the first pasta I read when I come back is nice.
I liked it.
Like so many others say, short but sweet, and I agree.
You don’t have to read too far into it, and it delivers.
I’d like to see it as an animation.
–Char Mander
@TastyCakes
Yeah, but if EVERYTHING made sense, there also probably wouldn’t be anything dangerous/scary/supernatural in the first place in an entirely empty tunnel that is TEN FEET LONG.
is this a true story or what and it needed more info and where is it?
The writing is actually pretty decent, so 8/10. Lost a point for the tunnel being implausibly short, but then gained it back for the disturbing/hilarious way that the researchers casually screw the poor intern over.
But Who was handprint!!!!!!!!!!
Children are probably the creepiest things in the world.
This was so fucking cliche, why all of the positive feedback?
>and put a new intern in with it,
Ah, the always expendable intern.
thought the ending with the children laughing could have been better…
i smell bacon
A user from Funnyjunk has posted this story and has not given the author any credit :/
Its a very good story btw :]
left some questions
why was the tunnel all scaryshitfuckkiller in the first place?
and what would happen if i t was demolished or taken apart?
still good pasta, small in portion as it is
8/10
@Herpderp Rip them a new asshole.
D:<
To add to my previous post:
@Herpderp ” credited to the author with the alias of Arachne. ” Unless they added that in later, you missed out on that part.
@Everyone saying about tearing the thing down: Yeah, I know. I asked Phone to please update this story with the one in my thread ( http://creepypasta.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=12986&p=53396#p53396 ), but I don’t know if she can really do that…
>_<
But in that version, I said that any attempts to remove the ride proved futile. Also, the intern was removed (replaced with other kinds of recording equipment.)
*shrug*
To all the fuckers who keep asking who was this and who was that it doesn’t fucking matter
“Oh and Eric you go too.””
I lol’d.
Also, pretty creepy.
I’ve been to this place, I’m not joking in the slightest. My best friend dared me to go through the tunnel – and i did. It was the weirdest thing. At first, you hear the sounds of young childhood, you know, kids running, playing, laughing, and enjoying life. As you go through deeper, the sound gets louder, it drags you in. Out of nowhere, tiny, bloody, bony hands are felt all over your body. ALL OVER. I was lucky, i got out alive, but when the ambulance came, they tested some of the blood on my shirt, it had at least 40 deadly – extinct – diseases. Malaria, the bubonic plague, and several others. What? Don’t believe me? Just ask my dead friend, Jaceon Ray Greene. R.I.P. Jace. <3
—Some—–Girl——You’ll—–Never——–Know…——–
Okay, I read this pasta, and totally loved it.
The mystery and how vauge it is made it even more eerie.
Even though it could have used a little more explination, it truely gave me a chill.
9/1O!
Tastey pasta!
Oh wow. Malaria, the Plague virus, etc. are not extinct, haha! Before going round telling silly stories, educate yourself “Girl”.
Anyway, this story was ok. The creepy factor is there, but it needs better structure. Maybe if it was written in the form of a journal… or a news story… or more details, or… something. It’s just too short and simple the way it is now. It doesn’t quite get you into it enough.
Meh, was just an intern. Not like we can\’t get more, amirite?
Oh also pasta is quite good. I\’d give it an 8/10.
For the updated version: So nobody thought of throwing dynamite at it and blowing it up? I would like to see spirits fuck with that…
Awesome pasta. I find most of the pasta on this site at least decent, actually. Guess I have yet to become jaded
8/10
Nice, short, creepy story. I want the classic picture of the abandoned clown train to be forever associated with this.
@Some Girl You\’ll Never Know: Simply coming into contact with blood infected with those diseases would have infected you and there was no mention of people getting any of those illnesses in the orginal story.
That comment was stupid and so are you.
Also, Being FROM Wisconsin, Our biggest tourist trap is the Wisc. Dells. Best waterparks in the world.
It…was quite interesting, to say the least. The length was perfect for this kind of story, as too many details can make it seem drab and overdone. However, I wish that more detail had been put into the description of the recording.
When it comes to investigating weird paranormal sites linked to multiple deaths,ALWAYS send in an intern.A new one preferrably.(You’ll miss him less)
Thats it? So the investigators reviewed the tape and then everyone fucked of and never looked into it again? riiiiiiiiiiiiight.
Wow I loved this story. I would definitely read this again sometime. It was short but yet really good. =]
Creepy pasta. Short, to the point, creepy, pasta. Thanks for not making it retardedly elaborate and uselessly long.
it would be good if the tunnel were longer than 10 feet. that’s literally a three second ride.
@Xothicadin
he wasn’t fully trained, therefore expendable 
Of course they send an intern in
great, now I can’t go to the bathroom alone to crap out this yummy pasta I ate
10/10
\"Hey guys, what\’s up?\"
\"Oh, not much, Intern Steve. Hey, we were just going to investigate a carnival ride where dozens of children disappeared and died grisly deaths. Wanna come ride it?\"
\"Okely dokely!\"
Other than that it was a good pasta. 9/10.
You havnt been there so what do any of you know, i have been there, and it is not something to be discussed about.
Bieng the couragous 24 year old i was, me and my 3 parteners in the study thought it would be an adventure to visit this place, but on arrival all of us felt a kind of negative energy. People dont realise the horror we felt when we were there. Insomnia is now an issue for me, as what we encountered has scarred me mentally and physically. I never believed in paranormal activities or happenings until that day.
This is not to be laughed about and im sure you will be wanting to know what happend when we were there. I wish that you will not proceed talking about this anyfurther.
Further talk on this subject and the site will be taken down, this subject is not one to be talked about!
I give it a 7/10 for effort I mean there could have been more description to the story. WHO IS GHOST DEMONS KILLING CHILDREN???? A Mediocre pasta needs a lil more seasoning
whoa