Tourist Trap
In rural Wisconsin, there is an old abandoned park. Built in the 1920s, it served as the town’s gathering place for everyone.
That is, until a newly developed Train and Tunnel for Tots™ ride was installed in 1932. It was an innocent looking childish train, with one main (mechanized) head car, with three small trolleys pulled behind it. It went around some loops before going into a small tunnel.
But this is where the story gets weird. There were numerous cases of child deaths that year, all of them happening after the child rode on that train system. Some kids went missing in that short tunnel (about ten feet), and others went comatose after leaving. One, upon exiting, was found to be dead. Her dress was covered in what looked like small bloody handprints. Some killed themselves by scratching at their throats until they bled out, and one of them even killed another child before hanging herself with razor wire at the family’s farm.
The park was closed, and the town’s popularity as a tourist town plummeted.
Recently, a team of scientists were sent out to the park. They taped a video camera to the train, and put a new intern in with it, before sending it on its way onto the tracks.
When the train left the tunnel, it was empty, except for the camera.
The last ten seconds were nothing but static, save for the sound of children laughing.
–
Credited to Arachne.
I don’t get it O_o
Woah bronco!
@0_O
Basically the children that went in the ride killed them self because of something in the tunnel.
So recently a team of scientists went there to see what caused these children to kill them self so they taped a camera to the train and sent it in.
When the train came out the tape was empty exept for the last 10 seconds where there was a sound of children laughing.
Also its great to see a pasta that is actually interesting enough to read till the end of it.
excellent! Finallt this site is getting back to the basics. I wouldn’t have minded some more details, but tasty pasta overall.
A nice, short, tasty pasta! I like this!
ahh so short and simple, quite delicious pasta I say
Yep, send an intern into a tunnel which has been linked to the deaths of multiple children, sounds about right. Aaaanywayz, was still fun to read.
Eh, alright. Would you not send the camera alone first? I don’t think you’d send in an intern too. “Oh yeah, we need to investigate this tunnel where a bunch of children died. So we’ll run the train through with a camera running. Oh and Eric you go too.”
All in all, vagueness can be your friend in writing creepypasta, but I need more than children laughing (read: generic creepy).
BUT WHO WAS TOTS???
no
Dude,no
I like it when I don’t think about it.
If the tunnel was only 10 feet long, why not just illuminate it with something completely? Why not just light it up where you could see everything and walk in.
But I’m nitpicking, it was actually creepy and a decent enough read. 8/10.
This was actually quite good. A little chilling. Not nerve-bendingly horrifying but enough to make me shudder. Nice work.
also….
BUT WHO WAS BLOODY HANDPRINTS?
Short and Sweet
That was interesting and indeed creepy.
Short, had some errors, but…
I feel tingly. Well done, past writer.
THEN WHO WAS CHILDREN
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Finally, a pasta that will get no tl;dr! I do read every pasta though, to be frank.
This one was exactly what a creepypasta should be.
Ahahahaha it’s been a while since a pasta has sent a chill down my spine. Very refreshing! Thankyou, author.
Not bad, good to see a short, effective pasta.
BUT WHO WAS INTERN
I WANT THIS TO BE LONGERRR
GREMLINS
We’re not safe anymore.
I enjoyed this one, another short and sweet pasta.
I can’t help but imagine that clown train that’s used for the ‘locations’ header.
Interesting story, but a little short.
*applause*
I love the short pastas!
Frankly, I liked this pasta. It’s short and sweet, not too wordy, and leaves the reader to guess at what’s actually happening. Though I do think it was stupid of the scientists to send in an intern, I mean, how stupid can you be? I agree with Anon that they should have just lit up the tunnel, but that could have shown nothing. Perhaps the tunnel only killed if it was dark or something. I don’t know.
9/10