The Town Of Blanche
If you visit France’s Cote d’Azur in your lifetime, do everything you can to avoid a small town called “Blanche”. I was in the country once with my parents, around 8 years ago (I was 12 at that time; we were on a family vacation), and we found ourselves looking for a place to get some rest and enjoy some of the local color. We were getting really hungry on the road, so it was with some luck that a town, unmarked on our map, rose unexpectedly on the horizon. This was the town of Blanche.
Immediately after we entered Blanche, we noticed that the colors of the houses were darker than anything I had seen in my entire life – it’s not like they were black or grey, they were normal colors for walls – they just look… not right. It’s hard to explain; almost like it was a color that we don’t even have a word for because it’s so dark and strange.
A few minutes after driving around the town, we all began to notice the fishy stench – like a Friday market, except for the fact that no fish were being sold. The people in the town also had a really weird skin tone, almost frostbitten and tinged a deep blue – if I recall correctly, my father said something like “These guys sure look like the sea.” We had originally planned to stay in the town for a while, but my mother and my sister were so disturbed by the creepy atmosphere and the town’s denizens that they insisted that we keep driving and find a different town to stay the night.
When we arrived in the next town, it was like we all gave a gigantic sigh of relief at once – we felt that we were back in normal civilization. However, the people who ran the inn that we stayed at in the second town did tell us some very freaky stories about Blanche – stories that made us really glad that we didn’t stay there…
The Town Of Blanche,
You could of added more by telling the rumors that they were saying.
Someone left this pasta out of the fridge too long for it has become dry and brittle.
MIssed opportunity should have ended it by saying that The people the next town over had said that a dam had breached in the early 1900′s and that the flood wiped out the town of Blanche and in disbelief you and your family went back and there was nothing there but a river.
This could have been a good ending, of course with a little bit more details^^ The point is that this pasta ends where it should start
It’s much too vague. The beginning had the potential to yield to something, perhaps, of maybe a disturbing kind of atmosphere, but it fell short, as though someone cut it from a possibly brilliant story.
It’s a good beginning, but lacks in the lack of detail.
It’s simply much too vague.
That idea of the name being “Blanche” and the strange color… The things about this story that aren’t filler or random could be used for something else, though; ideas that build up to something more.
It’s infuriating. Something could be done with this; it’s simply unfinished work…
Durn it, where’s my ZERO stars rating?
“When we arrived in the next town, it was like we all gave a gigantic sigh of relief at once”
This sounds like my sister’s writing! xD so worthless.
You should have named this “The Family Who Saw the Town of Innsmouth, but Didn’t Bother Stopping”
BUT WHO WAS STORIES?!
WHAAAAAAAAAT?You heard a scary story once?I think I just got goosebumps.
I gave it 4-stars purely for good prose…
In my opinion, this lacks the certain heart-thumping, sweat-breaking feel a creepy/scary story should have.
Even just the lingering of slight fear is not in here but still if you fix this story, it might be a great read. This is just constructive criticism. Please do not be offended.
(I am not a professional writer but I write a few stories myself and I am an avid reader of Creepypasta)
I sign this one^^
BUT WHO WAS LOVECRAFT
FUCK YOU AND YOUR ”WHO WAS”
WHAT ARE THE STORYS THAT COULD HAVE BEEN REALLY GOOD
Would’ve been nice to know some of the stories about the town?
terrible ending
I thought it was a good concept but extreamly poorly executed :~(
so what’s the point? what happened? 0.o
Anticlimactic pasta is anticlimactic.
terrible. Just terrible.
My last name is French.
And it seems like you are from germany^^
The town is pretty obviously a French version of Innsmouth, which doesn’t automatically mean that it’s going to be bad. That said, though, there’s really no “kick” to this story. It isn’t really poorly written, even if it isn’t a work of literary genius. The father’s dialogue (saying that the people “look like the sea”) is unrealistically poetic, and the darkly colored walls seem like a poor playing of a creepypasta trope. Other than that, though, it really just needs to be more exciting.
This wasn’t a story. A story needs to have a beginning, a middle and an end. And some point to it. Utter drivel – how come it’s on here and not on crappypasta?
Wait a second… How did this even get onto Creepypasta in the first place?
heh yup!