The Painting
THE EYES
There was once a young artist named Lisa. She was haunted all her life by disturbing dreams. One dream in particular made her dread sleep. It was always the same, a dark hallway and an evil clown pursuing her.
Lisa was exhausted from her broken sleep. She was afraid to fall asleep. When she finally drifted off to sleep she awoke screaming. Her friends and family begged her to get help. She finally couldn’t take it anymore and got a appointment with a therapist.
Her therapist suggested she paint her dreams. She told Lisa when you face your fears you take away their powers. Lisa was doubtful but willing to do anything to stop the awful dreams.
She went home and started painting. She wasn’t happy with her first attempt. Something wasn’t right. She kept working until very late at night, then decided to go to sleep.
She got into bed expecting to toss and turn as always. the next thing she knew it was morning. Lisa was shocked; she hadn’t slept so easily since she was a kid. She was glad but not over exited. She thought it was just a fluke.
She got up and brushed her teeth and made some coffee. While she waited for the coffee to brew she started to work on the painting she had been working on.
Something just wasn’t working.
When she got home from work that day she started to work on the painting again. Then she knew what was wrong. The eyes, she haddent gotten the eyes right. But the part of the dream that was always the most vivid was the eyes. So why was she having such a hard time getting them on canvas?
For months Lisa would stay up late working on the clown’s eyes until they were just right. The more she worked the better she slept.
Finally, after months of trying, Lisa made here clowns eyes look as hateful and disturbing as the one in here dreams eyes. After her final brush stroke, something began to happen. The clown from her painting actually began to come out of the painting.
Lisa screamed and ran. But tripped over some paint buckets.
The last thing Lisa saw was the clown above her wielding a knife. Just like the one in her nightmares. When the police found her body they noticed the piece of art she had been working on.
According to the police chief the painting showed a dark empty hallway.
Credit To: Dylan Kamae Esbensen
The Painting,
Sounds like an average scare story, except without the “scare” in it. Nothing really interesting here. Kind of cliche though.
This is really good, but I wouldn’t have had the clown come out of the painting ‘onscreen’ so to speak. That’s the kind of detail which isn’t hard for the reader to guess when presented with the fact that the clown killed her and the painting was found empty. But by telling us straight out like that it loses some of it’s creepy.
How lame. If mine doesn’t get it and this does well fuck me.
A bit cliche with the clown. This pasta definitely had potential with a little more description and detail
“Over exited”?
“Haddent”?
Please proof-read, also this is bad.
This could be good if some fresh ideas were worked into it. Keep trying!
I think this has been plagiarized, I’ve read this before and it wasn’t on this site :/
It could have been good, but it felt way too rushed.
no interesting plot really need more background info. soggy pasta
BUT WHO WAS CLOWN?
STOP POSTING SPIN OFFS OF ME
Great concept, but not well executed. There was nothing to make me feel this was creepy or disturbing.
I found this pasta to be fairly bland but it had a few exciting moments.
It was very vague,the ending would’ve held more scare if had more flare, and wasn’t so straight – to- the -point about the empty painting. It also says, “For months,” she worked on the painting. As an actual artist, ridiculous time line to work on eyes. “All week,” would’ve been better.
Can’t sleep, clown will eat me.
The story was alright but lacked detail. Let us know what the clown looks like, and let us know how hateful the eyes looked. This story has good potential, it just lacks the length and detail that make a scary story.
My eyes? She just never got my nose right.
fake and gay
Cliche, the pasta needed some seasonings.
Why u people hatin?this was delicious pasta!
Anyone else think of The Mona Lisa when you read her name?
Caulraphobia. The extreme fear of CLOWNS. I have it. So while not one of my favorites, this story definitely struck a chord!!
***Coulrophobia. Please excuse the spelling error. Was distracted.
i liked this one
“Finally, after months of trying, Lisa made her clowns eyes look as hateful and disturbing as the one in her dreams.
That night, she had troubles getting to sleep. She felt the menacing stare of those eyes upon her. She decided to dispose of the painting, in an attempt to rid herself of the nightmares once and for all.
She made her way through the dark, all the while feeling his gaze piercing her. When she reached the painting, she was paralyzed with fear when she only saw a dark, empty hallway upon her canvas.”
That would have been the type of ending I would have went with.
I predicted what was going to happen after I finished reading the 3rd paragraph. And I was right. The story is cliche, and the writing itself really isn’t so great either. But everyone has to start somewhere. Keep working!