The Lady Behind The Door
It was night and two guys in classic car traveled down a lonely stretch of I-95 in Pennsylvania. The one in the passenger seat had a pensive look about him. The driver reached down to fiddle with the radio. They slowly pulled ahead of me. Squinting through the darkness and the bug-dotted windshield of my eight year old Isuzu I observed a blue bumper sticker with the words in white “Hilary ‘08” on it. “God damn it. I hate those guys.”
Gabe looked at me inquiringly, still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “You mean guys who look like they’ve been pulled out of some teen drama on basic cable?”
“Huh? No. Guys who leave bumper stickers up from previous elections. For fuck’s sake Hilary didn’t even win the primary.”
“Where are we anyway?” Gabe stretched out until his hands touched the car roof. Admittedly that wasn’t that much of a stretch, he was one of those shaggy looking wiry fellows.
“Just out of Jersey. You think you can help me stay awake? The Blush Twins back there aren’t much of a help.” My sister Prissy and her friend Claire were passed out in the back seat. When they drank more then they were used they had the tendency to turn as red as tomatoes. That limit was two glasses of red wine.
Gabe mumbled something that sounded like “alcohol camels” and responded, “Yea sure. There’s not much to talk about though, Jack.”
“Well it’s night and Halloween is a day away. You ever seen anything that could be considered paranormal?” That was always a good topic if two people need to stay awake through the night. I did not even need to worry about a “no.” Even the most logical human being has had that one weird experience, whether it was a bad trip or one of those waking nightmares experienced during sleep paralysis.
“Well, uh, no. But I swear to God, Jack, this one time when I was five I remember flying. This isn’t paranormal, but I had this one reoccurring nightmare back before my father left. Haven’t had it recently, but I remember it pretty clearly.
“I was about eleven and remember lying in bed listening to a shouting match in the living room. My bed room was on the second floor, so I couldn’t make out exactly what they were saying except for the occasional ‘Fuck you.’
“Then I dunno, time passed, I fell asleep. The hall lights were out and screaming stopped. The doorway to my room was half open. Next thing I know I can’t move, not even blink. But I could see things moving on the walls, man. It was trippy.” Gabe was rubbing that scraggly blond thing on his neck he called a beard as he told his story.
“Don’t stop there. What kind of things?” I said.
“Shadows, man, shadows. But not like those stories on the internet. They had hair, like people hair. They were flat to the wall except for the hair. It was like the hair was three dimensional and the rest of them was two dimensional. They had different color hair too. I mean black and brown, normal people colors, but some of them weren’t people shapes. They did have people hair though, they all did. I could hear—
“I could hear them say, ‘Carry on my waywar—” The radio turned on without warning. Prissy had left the damn thing on at max volume, the girls in the back stirred with a bunch thrashing thumps.
I shut the radio off. “Sorry about that, my elbow must of hit the dial.”
Gabe gave me a weird look before he went on. “I was saying I could hear whispering and feel tingling on my toes. It felt like when a dog licks your toes. That’s when I saw it, the big it, or her, I really don’t know. All I know is that thing was boss and all the rest of them were bitches, ‘cause they all scattered off to the corners. She had really red hair, Christmas present red, and curly too. Its thin shadow was stretching out from behind my bedroom door.
“I didn’t hear her voice, dude, I felt it. Not like telepathy, like felt it reverberate in my skull. Almost as if it were that loud nagging voice in your head when you’ve done something real bad. She said, the voice in me said, ‘Dear—
“John on DVD this Friday at Wal-Mart.” Blared the radio again.
I shut it off again. “I guess I should get that looked at, sorry. Go on.”
Gabe went on, “It said, ‘Dear soul, you have grown so much. Why you’re so pink and cute, how’d like to come home with me? I could just dress you up with gravy. Look at those crinkles on your forehead you look just like a juicy jelly donut. The powdery dough is always the best part of a fresh baked donut.’
“I didn’t see a hand, but it felt like she pinch my cheek. Then the licking would not stop!” Gabe pounded the “would”, “not”, and “stop” out on the passenger side of the dash board.
If I had not been focusing on the road ahead of me Gabe would of seen the wide eyed bewildered look in my eyes. It was not over the dream, I have had weirder. The bewilderment extended from the clearly unresolved issue that were clearly bubbling beneath Gabe’s Chewbacca-like surface. “It was just a dream, Gabe. I’m sorry I asked. Relax, I‘ll drive the rest of the night. One of the girls can take over in the morning.”
The night after our chat in the car we spent the night in some shit motel in northern Georgia. In the morning we found Gabe feet up in a garbage bin behind the Waffle House next door.
//
Credited to Tower.


BUT WHO WAS RADIO?
foR
What was that. That was the most random thing ever. The ending didn\’t fit with the story at all. This was quite a disappointment, especially right after that last, fantastic one. Nothing made sense in this pasta. The radio was never explained and why the hell did Gabe end up dead? Too many loose strings, too many arbitrary details. I really thought it was going somewhere just about the time when the radio first turned off, but I was sorely mistaken. A gross pasta overall.
3/10
If that was a joke pasta then it was pretty good.
If it was meant to be serious then all I can say is… WTF???
Wat
Ending made me lol. “Then suddenly, he was dead!”
Also: “Gabe would of seen…” This ruins so many stories that would otherwise have potential. It’s “would’ve seen”.
Otherwise it was a nice read.
Thank you! Glad I’m not the only word nazi around!
I actually read the ending as “he got drunk and fell into the bin, then we found him alive the next day”
But who was first?
I thought he was found feet up in the waffle bin because he was fat, liked waffles and was going through their garbage?
confusing pasta is confusing
Y\’all oughta know that Tower posted a sequel:
http://www.creepypasta.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=13878
I didn\’t get either of them: I didn\’t see any horror/suspense in either work; but whatever, y\’all might.
I didn’t!!
Absolute shit.
Guys, this pasta is just a parady pasta! It’s a joke
How
Who do people who lack basic grammar skills even bother to \"write\"?
Not only is the grammar bad, but the actual story too is retarded.
And to think I thought that pasta was going somewhere…
Horrible writing, and nothing made sense. Gross.
0/10.
The writing is pretty good, actually.
Yeah, up until and then we stopped and then Gabe was dead this was going pretty good.
It shouldn’t have ended like that.
Also, you can’t just put in the radio switching itself on for arbitrary creepiness. It’s too disconnected from shadow monsters that kidnap people and eat them.
I mean, why would they want to switch on a radio at people?
It’s not that bad, just the grammar that is kinda messed
But the story is good…
Probably was a tasty pasta…till it that ending was prechewed for us.
The setup for the final paragraph is also poor-
“If I had not been focusing on the road ahead of me Gabe would of seen the wide eyed bewildered look in my eyes. ”
No comma to break it up.” wide eyed bewildered look in my eye” is repetitive and breaks focus.
“It was not over the dream, I have had weirder.”
I guess you mean a semicolon here. But this is the unclear. Who exactly is having the weirder dream?
“The bewilderment extended from the clearly unresolved issue that were clearly bubbling beneath Gabe’s Chewbacca-like surface.”
“issue that were”? Likely you meant “issues that were”.
I almost get that you are trying to say that “Hey, Gabe has been fucked up because of this. His repressed issues are finally coming out, which will soon cause his demise.”
This last paragraph is key for framing us understanding Gabe’s death. But it is pretty poorly written and thus distracting.
The fuck guys. The fuck.
A lot of that story was pretty good, but the ending didn’t really tie anything together.
The way the victim died didn’t really match anything in his ghost story, nor was it clear why he died then as opposed to any other time, nor was the radio thing tied in at all.
Overall I feel that the writer has a lot of talent, I thought the idea for the story and some of the dialog and descriptions were pretty good, but as a whole this story really needs some work.
It was fairly hard to follow. It almost seemed like you were going to reference the White House at the end instead of the Waffle House. You did a good job of creating a visual approximation. I could just imagine the guys talking. What kind of name is Gabe anyway? I’ll give you a 5/10.
I feel like it just cut off. what the hell.
The way they talked annoyed me. The shadows with hair sounded freaky, but other than that, it was just. . . Eh. 2/10
Lolwut.
Okay, so some guys are driving around with one guy’s passed out sisters in the back, one decides to ramble ’bout dogs licking people’s feet and creepy women pinching people’s cheeks, the radio is broken, and then one guy decides it’s a good idea to go sleep in the trash can.
…Or die, whatever.
It’s like the pizza came right at the end xD
0/10 for creepypasta, 8/10 for humor x3
Everything Undefined bitched about was pretty much what made this story good. I liked the flow of it, just wished his death would be a bit more connected to the story, like his head was shaven or something. Great detail, great potential, definitely a step up from the crap that’s been around lately.
i couldn’t get past “It was night and two guys in classic car…”