The Intruder
The Intruder is a silhouette and similar in shape to a Siamese cat. When sitting, it is about 7.5 feet tall. It has two overly large, slanted eyes, which glow a bright fluorescent green, and have no
pupils. It blinks these eyes occasionally. Other than the eyes, it has no other discernible facial or body features.
Whenever you enter your home after dark, The Intruder is always watching. It sits about 10 feet away from you in plain view. It remains immobile and does not even try to conceal its presence. While outside,
it can only be seen by one person at a time. If it were to be within the sight range of two people then the first person who sees The Intruder would remain being able to see it while it would remain completely invisible to others.
It emits no noises of its own. The only time it can be heard is when it is stretching its claws on a tree or your house siding. If you approach it then it will run away very quickly and violently, kicking up dirt and rocks. The sounds of the wind from The Intruder’s movements and flying debris from under The Intruder’s feet can be heard. If you were to throw an object toward it or discharge a firearm at it you would get the same effect. Once you turn back to the door to insert your key you will find that The Intruder has noiselessly returned to its previous position where it continues to watch you.
Some say that The Intruder listens to your key hit the lock. They say that The Intruder can eventually ascertain the shape of your key simply by hearing the pins of your lock moving. It is unknown how many times The Intruder must hear you unlock your door before it can determine the exact shape of your key.
You see, The Intruder wants to kill you, that is, if this creature is even capable of wanting anything. Perhaps it is better to say that it intends to kill you. However, The Intruder can only kill you inside your house, and may not force its way in. Furthermore, it cannot enter an empty house. You must already be at home in order for it to enter. If you were to run outside of your house once The Intruder enters, The Intruder will pursue you, drag you back inside, and then kill you.
If you ever hear a key hitting your door in the dead of night then it may be The Intruder trying out its key that it has made. The Intruder only tries to use its keys when it is close to perfecting them, so if you do hear it trying to unlock your door then you can be certain that it will have a proper working key within a few nights. If you enter your house through another means, for example a garage or screen door, then you may suddenly find it them inoperable from the outside, through both remote or attempted physical operation of the door. If you attempt to leave your door unlocked in order to prevent The Intruder from hearing the shape of your key, then you may be disappointed to find that the door has been locked by the time you arrive at home.
If you hear a key hit your lock it is advised that you turn off all of your lights and attempt to push on the door to try and prevent The Intruder from entering, although it likely outweighs you. Once The Intruder enters your house all light sources above that of a candle become blinding to all inhabitants other than The Intruder. If you have time to light a candle then it is suggested, as this will allow you to see the silhouette without becoming blinded. A very small advantage that you may have is that, once inside a home, all inhabitants are able to see The Intruder simultaneously.
The Intruder will kill every human inside of the house. It will only attack pets if the animal chooses to engage The Intruder. Most animals choose not to engage. The only time that the Intruder will make any
noise of its own is during a killing strike. The Intruder will make a quick hissing sound during this strike, and will not make this noise again until it claims its next victim. The Intruder has never been known to kill anyone without hissing at the killing blow. It will usually try to completely disable its prey to the point where it cannot move before such an action is taken. It is thought that The Intruder prefers to disable its prey before a kill strike because the act of hissing may be the only time that it is vulnerable to damage. This is
purely speculation however.
Posted in Beings & Entities
June 30th, 2008 at 1:18 am
hmmm. Specific
It’s almost as if I’m being briefed for an undercover military operation
June 30th, 2008 at 1:37 am
I was actually thinking that, too, while I reading it.
For some reason though, this one always gets me. Maybe it’s the excessive detail, who knows?
June 30th, 2008 at 1:45 am
I just don’t understand one thing-
“Whenever you enter your home after dark, The Intruder is always watching. It sits about 10 feet away from you in plain view. It remains immobile and does not even try to conceal its presence.”
If it never tries to conceal its presence, why haven’t I seen it yet?
June 30th, 2008 at 2:10 am
Perhaps there’s only one intruder, taking it’s prey one by one, in continuous repitition.
Watch (the prey), listen (to the lock), copy (the key), kill (the prey).
Watch,listen,copy,kill.
Watch,listen,copy,kill.
Watch,listen,copy,kill.
Watch,listen,copy,kill.
Watch,listen,copy,kill.
Until that day. It’s walking, invisible, down your street, it looks over and you see each other. You (and any other sane person) wouldn’t believe what you’re looking at, and it’ll think “MMMMM, that could do for a quick meal”. That’s when it would have singled you out as it’s prey. You see, the reason you haven’t seen it yet is because it’s not stalking you, and if it was, you wouldn’t be here posting, now, would you.
June 30th, 2008 at 2:33 am
Whoops. Sorry guys, that last comment was mine. I didn’t mean to steal your name nobody.
June 30th, 2008 at 2:33 am
i
June 30th, 2008 at 2:37 am
Damn it!
By posting my “whoops” comment, I accidentally erased the comment where I accidentally stole Nobody’s Name. Please disregard my last statement(s)
June 30th, 2008 at 2:39 am
Damn it!
By posting my “whoops” comment, I accidentally erased the comment where I accidentally stole Nobody’s Name. Please disregard my last statements
June 30th, 2008 at 4:36 am
This is very tasty Creepypasta.
June 30th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
I remember this one from ages ago.
It’s still scary as fuck!
July 1st, 2008 at 5:26 am
O_O *cries* Can I change my locks? Maybe marry a locksmith…
July 1st, 2008 at 8:51 pm
That wouldn’t save you, Dru.
A 12-gauge shotgun or a 30-30 rifle might, though…
July 2nd, 2008 at 4:00 pm
The Intruder would make a pretty good pet.
July 2nd, 2008 at 4:27 pm
I’m not going home anymore.
July 2nd, 2008 at 11:01 pm
Someone should make a video game of this.
July 3rd, 2008 at 4:06 am
i think i’d be too scared to play that game
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:07 am
It’t sure make some freaky-ass survival horror though
July 4th, 2008 at 1:47 am
I think this one is creepy becuase it makes you think that you’re dealing with something smarter than you, and you can’t do anything to stop it.
July 4th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
It would make a great movie.
With the main character investigating paranormal events, and stumbling upon this Intruder information, while he’s been discovered by the Intruder.
Then it’s a race against time for him and his friend(s) to discover how to kill it.
July 5th, 2008 at 4:10 am
Make sure you charge your lazor prior to the hissing.
July 5th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
Dalek, I think you should be charged with writing a story of it. =P
July 6th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Welcome to the military. You are hunting… The Intruder.
Yeah, that is the feeling I got.
July 8th, 2008 at 11:49 pm
Didn’t like it, it’s as if the author didn’t bother to add suspense, instead opted to list mundane details.
July 9th, 2008 at 11:29 pm
At least I’m not the only person who didn’t like it, he negates his premise in the first paragraph, and gives way more detail than anyone should have if they actually encountered this creature.
First, “similar in shape to a Siamese cat. When sitting, it is about 7.5 feet tall” If it’s a silhouette why not a tabby or other short hair cat, if its 7 feet tall why not a cougar? just dumb…
Second “The only time it can be heard is when it is stretching its claws on a tree or your house siding” What if I live in an apartment? Or have a brick home? Do I ever hear anything?
So I got to say, this ones dumb.
July 10th, 2008 at 12:24 am
Siamese cats have a very distinct body type - they’re very long/thin/angular, more so than any other breed - so I’m not sure why that part is so problematic for you, unless you don’t know what Siamese look like and are assuming it’s just like any other cat? That’s the only thing I could think of that you were trying to say, that it didn’t matter what breed it was… if that’s not what you meant, then I’m even more confused.
Not to say your opinion is invalid, that part of your comment just made no sense to me.
July 10th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Hello.
Utter tripe.
July 11th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Somehow my response last night didn’t post, so I will try to reply again. Cat breed types are based on measurements and coloration, to remove both the color and the size makes the identification of a cat difficult. I know Siamese are angular, but that bread characteristic is not as unique as it was even ten years ago. Several other breads are just as or more angular, such as the Rex, the Egyptian Mau, and the recent Savanna. Also try to refrain from personal remarks, and keep critical, I know and like cats of many breeds witch is part of what irritated me about this line.
July 12th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
umm…if the intruder cant force its way into your house than how can it be 10 feet away from me?
July 13th, 2008 at 10:09 am
Qwerty - I believe that it’s 10 feet away when you enter your house, so it is still outside and 10 feet away.
July 14th, 2008 at 11:09 am
This story contradicts itself.
July 16th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
This would be an absolutely epic boss battle in a video game. Probably up there with Psycho Mantis if you can pull it off properly.
July 16th, 2008 at 6:22 pm
It would make an awsome videogame, kinda like “listen to the rythem and repeat it” in increasing difficulty
July 17th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Not really. But think of it, a boss that is only vulnerable after beating you within an inch of your virtual life. That would be absolutely epic. Players would be too busy unloading into it while its beating on you, and then run out of ammo when it actually is vulnerable. I sense an RE4-style minigame…
July 21st, 2008 at 6:05 pm
well, I have never seen a 7.5 foot tall siamese cat, nor do I want to…
July 25th, 2008 at 1:54 am
i liked it a lot, i guess because of all the detail.
having it as a pet would be awesome, but prolly expensive, you’d prolly have to feed that SOB whole cows.
itd make for a good ride though, and would save gas lol.
“come on fluffy! lets go pick up my friends and ride you to the park… maybe you can eat my neighbors annoying dog later”
August 2nd, 2008 at 7:07 am
meow mutha fucka
August 2nd, 2008 at 6:39 pm
I shall now never be able to sleep again.
Or at least read Creepypastas in the downstairs kitchen, which is so conveniently placed right next to the front door.
August 8th, 2008 at 4:21 am
Maybe it’s time to change your locks, hmm?
August 8th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
D:
No sleep tonight.
@Dalek, do it. Make it.
I DARE YOU.
August 17th, 2008 at 7:21 pm
dumb, I would rape it.
An Intruder is fine too.
Also, change locks.
August 20th, 2008 at 12:31 am
So, like, what if I changed the lock after I heard it the first time?
August 20th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
ugh sry but the “kill u storys” begin to bore me. kill u here slaughter u there, u die painfull in a slip made of finishing paper created in hell. something mindstealin would be cooler, continue living in ur own created hell of ur mind
August 27th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
So I’ll be sleeping outside tonight. Yup.
August 27th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
1…the only time its heard is scratching shit into a tree…but apparently also when it does it’s death swipe thing? -_-
2. i agree with mr. welldone…tripe
3. it’s listings of what it looks like and what it can do to you…it could be interesting, but alas…fail
4. i live in an apartment so go suck eggs u fucking pussy [literally =D]
that is all
August 27th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
not that scary ……..
August 28th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
# AXN
August 20th, 2008 at 12:31 am
So, like, what if I changed the lock after I heard it the first time?
A: well then the intruder gets pissed and call a keyguy to open ur door and then the intruder kills the keyguy cuz it cant pay the guy and then it kills u but b4 it kills u it tells u not to mess with the intruder.
August 31st, 2008 at 9:58 pm
If you leave your door unlocked and the lock is on the inside of the door how the fuck can the intruder lock it without entering your house?
September 1st, 2008 at 12:47 am
I rather enjoyed this as the author portrayed the struggle on the victim’s behalf as futile…very suspenseful. Now that begs the question…
Would a zombie or an intruder be scarier?
September 2nd, 2008 at 3:32 pm
¨If you attempt to leave your door unlocked in order to prevent The Intruder from hearing the shape of your key, then you may be disappointed to find that the door has been locked by the time you arrive at home.¨
If it doesnt have a key, how can it lock the door? and if it can lock the door, why cant it unlock it?XD lol.
its an ok pasta. sounds like it could be a suspense flash game. * try gettin into ur house not using the front door. buy time till it copies the key, the try ti kill it once it hisses. :P*
peace.
September 18th, 2008 at 10:42 pm
I need one of those doors that only opens for a four number combo
September 25th, 2008 at 3:50 am
@ Justin: If the Intruder can fuck with the other entrances of your house without entering it, I think it can fuck with the locks without coming in.
What I don’t understand is how it manages to “emit no noises of its own” yet still manages to hiss, and scratch on things.
Agreed with Welldone. It would be a great concept if it was less fact and more spook. And less contradictory. The style makes a fool of itself, and thusly, is utter tripe, for sure.
September 30th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
@MYLES: I’m pretty sure that if it can hear the shape of a key, it can pick up a 4 digit code fairly easily.
October 5th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
if the intruder kills everyone in the house, who the fuck found out that it makes a hissing sound before every kill? the family cat learn to talk or something?
October 5th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
@anon: Read ’speculation’
nub