Self Preservation
If you’re reading this, then I am hopefully long gone. It’s been… two months now since the meteor struck Mississippi. There was a lot of public interest in it, astrologers and the like all gathering around for a look. They took samples of the rock and shipped them all over the world to museums in every country. Hell, I almost made a trip to have a look myself, but I had an interview with a potential employer. If he hadn’t called me up the previous day, I’d be dead now. Three days later, after the initial hype died down, the news reported nothing on the meteor for a couple of days.
The next thing I heard about it was when I got home from the pub and turned on the late-night news. I was just in time to catch a breaking news article. The worried-looking reporter informed me that almost everyone who had been in the vicinity of Mississippi when the meteor went down had been hospitalised. Their symptoms were similar to those that a corpse experiences during decomposition. Ten people had already died, mostly the elderly and the very young. Scientists and geneticists from all over the globe were working frantically to try and find a cure. Being smarter than the average bear, I gathered some supplies and prepared for an epidemic. Years of being paranoid beyond reason was finally about to pay off.
The news the next day had a lighter tone. A Chinese scientist had worked out that the meteor had contained an alien strain of bacteria that slowly broke down flesh tissue. The scientist also remarked that the bacteria were only affecting humans. He had also worked out that if a victim consumed a living being, such as an insect, it would delay the progression of the bacteria, giving the scientists more time to figure out a permanent cure. Anyone who thought they may have contracted the infection was to eat as many live creatures as they could. The reporter also explained that the US Army was attempting to contain the infection.
They failed.
Anyone who has read Stephen King’s book, The Stand, will have an idea of how the bacteria made its way around the world. It passed through the air, but to catch it, you had to be near someone infected. Because the symptoms took between three to five days to kick in, people didn’t realise that they were infected. In a week, Victus Somes Disease, as it had been named, was global.
I had barricaded myself in my house, with towels and blankets stuffed into every crack. I had the TV tuned to the news all day and night. The scientists had not predicted that the bacteria would adapt to the infected people’s efforts at trying to keep it at bay. Victims all over the world were claiming that the insects were no longer working. People were starting to catch small mammals and eat them.
As the days went by, people were slowly eating larger and larger animals. The first reported case of cannibalism was, ironically, the last broadcast made. The anchorman’s hair was falling out and he was missing three teeth. He nervously told America that there had been a reported case of cannibalism in Southern Europe. He also said that there would be no further broadcasts. All survivors were to lock themselves in their house and not let anyone in.
For the next week and a half, I watched the infected shamble up the street, knocking on doors. One of my neighbours, a couple of houses down from me, was stupid enough to open the door. Three people dragged him out and started biting his flesh. They started with his arms and legs, trying to keep him alive for as long as possible. They were crying as they ate. Their meal was shrieking in pain, and the three people eating him were apologising furiously through mouthfuls of his arm. I don’t think they were unable to control themselves; it looked more like they were disgusted by what they had to do to stay alive.
They tried to break into my house five or six days later, but my barricades held. They were outside, begging me to let them in. “Just one bite. Please, be generous.” I listened to their pleading all night, too scared to sleep.
I suppose I should explain why I’m writing this. I’m infected. Yesterday I coughed and lost a canine. I spent the night pulling out my teeth, easing them out one by one. It didn’t hurt; they just slid out, like pulling up carrots. Anyway, as I was saying, I’m infected. The bugs have stopped working, and all the wild animals have long since run away. I have decided to lure someone into my house and attack them. It sounds so wrong writing that out, but I don’t want to die. And I’m so hungry.
I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.
//
Credited to BananaCorn.
Kickass.
Not impressed. Concept reused way too many times. A rather bland story in general that reached no notable zenith. 5/10.
get out.
First post on an extremely well written story. 9/10
I had to reread the last paragraph to get it.
Hm… Question. How is going to be able to eat the person with no teeth? Anyway, its an okay pasta.
I liked it^^
The fact that the infected didn’t turn into brainless and sadistic zombies but were aware of the things they did and felt bad about it but still had to do it was nice!
Also, FIRST!
1st. Good story, i knew it would lead to cannibalism. Also, how did a meteor cause this? Radiation sickness? Space Virus? Also…
WHO WAS METEOR.
Wow, not bad. Kept me interested to the end but it woulda been cool to have some more details here and there.
Nice fresh pasta!
7/10
What’s the storyteller going to do? Gnaw on the reader’s arm?
“First!” “First! “First!” Heh. People don’t seem to understand that the comments are not posted immediately….
Anyway. I posted my feedback on the forums, but I’ll say it here again: Two thumbs up.
Wow, me and my friend were talking about this three days ago!
funny how things work out huh.
Liked the concept, but the end felt very very rushed. It felt like it was leading up to something grander than “Oh noes im also infected!!”.
Everyone saying “first”…is this your first time on this site? You should all know by now that comments have to be approved and theres more than likely one before yours in the queue. You look like a bunch of jackasses when you’re wrong about being first. I wouldn’t be surprised if the moderator actually makes this happen by not approving any “firsts” as the first comment. “First” shit is just as bad as “WHO WAS”.
WHO WAS FIRST? Not you faggot, so get out.
Good, good. An interesting new spin on the zombie genre with an impressive ending.
8.5/10
I’m not really 100% sure on the concept…so the reader is reading this inside the writer’s house and he’s sneaking up on them as they’re reading it?
Otherwise…is this just a confession?
I don’t get the framing device 100% but overall while it’s a bit of an old theme (disease makes people act like zombies), it’s well written and entertaining. I’d give it a 8/10.
Oh and Funnyjunker: we’re not doing that lame ass “WHO WAS” crap anymore by the request of the site admin.
Average pasta. Nice spin that they are aware of what’s happening, but it wasn’t really gripping…. Aside from the fact that the people are very self aware, nothing else is new. 6/10
I stopped reading after the first sentence.
Zombies whos teeth fall out?
FAIL
was any one else confused when he said he was a bear?
“two months now since the meteor struck Mississippi. There was a lot of public interest in it, astrologers and the like all gathering around for a look.”
Am I the only one that noticed he said astrologers? As in people who read/write horoscopes and not astronomers the scientists who study celestial bodies.
The whole thing was pretty bad =/
ooh, i always love a good cannibal story! but still, not as creepy as i would have thought it would be, still delicious but it has a weird consistancy, like dried coconut…O_o nevermind, 7/10
Dude. Zombie concept used millions of times. Too unoriginal.
This wasn’t bad….pretty yummy pasta…the ending needs a little work though……8.5/10
Expected ending was expected.
7/10
Hey, OP here. I’m glad so many of you like it. I’ll admit off the bat that I didn’t really consider how the infected (Don’t really want to call them zombies, because, technically they aren’t dead) eat people without teeth. I suppose that they hadn’t lost all their teeth at once, like the narrator. I’m just stoked that it made it here, that’s enough for me.
Peace out
I liked it a lot. People will say dumb shit like “CONCEPT OVERUSED” but I’m pretty sure every concept in the world has been done at least once.
Giving ‘zombies’ a true sentience, now that’s scary.
7.5/10
Without your teeth… are you going to gum them to death?
And now was acknowledged the presence of the Red Death. He had come like a thief in the night.
It’s not that bad, but I couldn’t take it seriously after that Yogi Bear reference.
I thought he was pulling out his teeth so he couldn’t eat anyone or something.
But vurrry nice! I think it was a neat twist that the infected people still had emotions and thoughts. Of course, when they get hungry they’ll probably abandon any sense they still had in them. People are always all about their own survival, and I suppose that is what you were trying to get into your story.
Anywho, sorry this is kind of long. Good job!
I was kind of hoping that the ending wasn’t going to be lol ima eat choo, but it was nice regardless and I apperciate the work the author put into this.
Concept was decent, original spin on the zombie plague thing. One problem though, how the hell does an alien bacteria specialize enough to specifically target only humans?
sorry, not creepy at least. the whole concept and ending is so cliché.
Concept may have been overused, but this is the best pasta I’ve read that used said concept.
Shit, I pulled out all my teeth. Now I can’t eat anyone!
I liked it. The whole bit about the infected acting remorseful while tearing someone apart was an interesting twist.
Ok hi, me again.Two commenters have mentioned something about a bear, specifically Yogi bear. Care to elaborate? I didn’t put any intentional references in here aside from the Stephen King one.
Thanks
You know, if he barricaded himself inside his house, how did he get infected?
It’s well written but holy shit I’m tired of the endless zombiepasta. There’s only so many ways someone can rehash the same goddamned story.
4/10
BC
lol ‘smarter than the average bear’ is courtesy of a certain Y Bear of Jellystone park.
I liked the piece.
No teeth dude. How ya gonna chew?
Oh well, aside from that, I actually liked this pasta!
5/10, nicely written but not realistic at all.
I WILL BITE YOU WITH MY GUMS HURR DURR
Nah.
1/10
Oh thanks. Well, if anyone stopped taking me seriously at any point during the story, then it’s your own fault. You shouldn’t be taking me seriously in the first place. It seems that the only real complaint is that the infected don’t have any teeth (I’m kicking myself for that moment of retardation) and there are no grammer Nazis whining about my spelling or punctuation, so all in all I think I did well and I don’t care if that sounds arrogant
Well done Lachlan. I love that any story posted here gets picked to pieces over the tiniest details. I mean, don’t you people have anything better to do? Seriously? Anyway bro, well done on the story, it’s not half bad.
I am Legend, anyone??
eh…not bad. How are you gonna eat the person without any teeth though? XDD fail for that person lmao.
meh….6/10.
8/10. Not especially creepy, but better than anything which has been posted on this site in weeks. At the very least, it was interesting and fresh – up until the end, that is, but I think if the author went back and tweaked it a bit, it could be very creepy.
Nice job to the author, though there were a few grammar mistakes they were hardly noticeable and I appreciated this very much. The writing was well above average.
OH NOEZ THE ZOMBIEZ HAVE GUM DISEASE WATCH OUT THEY’LL DROOL ON YUU AND CRY ABOUT IT!!!!!!
@ svenly maybe it’s like a disease you catch in the air, like that movie, ” the happening” or it’s contagious and when the zombies tried to get in the house the person touched him…?
i give it a 5.5 and the .5 is cuz decimals are fun.
i meant 5.5/10 if you didnt understand… xD
It was okay. Not great, but pretty good. The ending could be seen from a distance, there were a few spots whereit could have been worded better or have more detail put in and just one or two inconsistencies, like the teeth thing and how he managed to get infected. Aside from that, I liked it. I don’t care if zombies have been done before, I will eat up anything with them in it. Hmmm… I would give it a 7.5/10. I definitely hope to see some more.
Im not sure which part made me lol harder, the ending or: “WHO WAS FIRST? Not you faggot, so get out.” by the anon up there.
good pasta, would eat more. It’s like something we’ve had many times before , but with a delicious twist.
8/10
The pasta was good. It’s always refreshing to see a good zombie pasta.
@First people: Stop, that’s just lame.
@Overused concept people: Have you written a pasta that’s been posted to the site? If not, then shut the hell up.
im also confused on the teeth fiasco. also id blow my own brains out cuz eventually the populations gonna die out
“Anyone who has read Stephen King’s book, The Stand,”
*blinks*
*looks at copy of the book It on my desk*
*thinks about how I am going to fucking WATCH It later today*
*thinks about how I attempted to read The Stand a few months earlier but read not one word in it*
*thinks about how I watched The Stand alot of months earlier*
*breaks down into tears of fear and joy*
9/10
Another zombie story, ho hum. This one seems a bit too similar to “In Between”.
The idea of having to eat living things to stave off infection really makes no sense from a medical standpoint; this wouldn’t be an issue in a story with a more supernatural bent but amongst the semi-realism of this story it somewhat breaks willful suspension of disbelief.
Also: I think you meant “Astronomers” instead of “Astrologers” in the beginning. Astronomers are the scientists, Astrologers are the loopy crackpots.
Also Also: The Stephen King reference seemed sort of forced and out of place.
Overall there are some interesting concepts in here that are bogged down by the zombie cliche and a few careless mistakes. It would work much better if you focus less on the zombies, more on the epidemic and moral quandaries.
Wasn’t good, wasn’t bad. It reminded me of the one patient in Dracula that would eat animals to gain life.
I’m personally rather fond of this one. “Overused topic is overused” can be said, sure. The ideas of walking dead, cannibalism, utter terror of the world ending have been a part of the human psyche for a very, VERY long time. Human fears or “creepiness” vary from individual to individual. Its not what you do, its how you do it.
In any case, the delivery was pretty well done. The idea of bodies rotting immediately brought my mind to Necrosis. Sort of imagined a necrosis-rabies combination really. As for the bacterial strain affecting only people, there are viral strains that effect only certain animals. Its not too much of a stretch. A few bits of the writing could have been editing, sure, and the ending could have been executed differently.
As for eating without teeth? Desperation is a beautiful thing.
0.0/10
boring and not in the least any psychological mindfucks
Wow
I have never seen a story where the “Zombies” in question were still fucking alive and knew what they were doing.
Very well done. Love it.
I would have liked this story better had there been a more solid science behind it, but the errors in the story are far more numerous to name here. I liked the idea of the zombies being aware that they were eating other people, and feeling terrible about it, though. That is a very cool idea, and could be taken farther. However, eating another organism cannot affect any disease like that, so that is a bit of a problem. What would have been cooler is a 28 days later kind of infection that forces the recipient to eat human flesh, but still leaves some of the higher brain functions intact. So the concept was good, the writing was decent, but the execution was fundamentally flawed.
4/10.
Boring. The “twist” was painfully obvious, and the concept was more of the same.
Whew, I’m glad I’m not the only one who took his teeth out.
Would’ve been good without the Yogi Bear reference. The framing device was also pretty poorly done.
That was amazingly well written. I’d like to see this is a movie. It’s a nice twist on the cannibalism/zombie take
8/10
WE HAVE ESTABLISHED THAT THEY STILL HAVE A FEW TEETH TO FUCKING EAT PEOPLE!!!
I honestly didn’t realize the ‘toothless=can’t eat’ thing at all while I was reading. D’oh.
But that aside, I thought that this was pretty nice. I usually don’t like Zombie pastas, but this one was relatively fresh and interesting.
I liked it. I think it could be polished up a bit more perhaps, but it was still an entertaining read
Huh… how do they eat raw flesh with no teeth?
Sup BananaCorn
The storys pretty original, even for a zombie pasta. I like how the zombies aren’t mindless.
Astrologers? This a has probobly already been pointed out so this comment is useless. *sigh*
How does one eat people without teeth. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
lol @ astrologers. Story was good, but this cracked me up.
I think the concept is really neat, how the “zombies” are still aware enough to be apologetic, and I’m a sucker for meteorites with space bacteria, but the whole thing felt rushed and like the writer didn’t bother going back to do any editing what so ever. For example, in the first paragraph, he states “years of paranoia.” That’s a bit out of left field with no set-up. And why a chinese doctor? I mean, it’s filled with hastily written bits. Could have been great.
And then the narrator was a zombie.
So…Small insects huh…Plants have no life then?
@ “WHO WAS FIRST? Not you faggot, so get out.”
I lol’d. Hard.
Anyways,
@ the astrologers vs astronomers comment. You are correct, but to be fair, Bananacorn posted a corrected version of this on the forums with that fixed (as well as the meteor vs meteorite fixed) a few days before this older version got posted to the main site here.
@ AJ, you’re way over thinking it.
Finally, @ the toothless comments, to be fair he never said the other zombies taking bites out of people were completely toothless, and he never said the narrator was going to be biting people. Maybe the narrator is going to use a fork and knife :-p
Interesting take on zombies. Very interesting.
And I liked the ending, despite how cliche “now I am the monster too and I will om nom nom on your soul” endings are, this one was really quite good.
I thoroughly enjoyed it.
9/10
Is the reader supposed to have broken into this guy’s house, and this note is the bait he setup to eat someone, or are we just reading it?
I liked it, but the ending was honestly disappointing. It just felt like it could go on to something much darker, and then poof. Nothing. QQ, I’m infected. You feel for my trap! Nom, nom, nom. Other than that good read.
Really good new take on the old zombie genre. Two thumbs
I think you mean “astronomers” in the beginning >_>; vast difference. Astrologers are the people who write those New Age books on the Zodiac. Also…
THANKS FOR THAT ONE. XD I live in MS…
I liked it!!! But how are zombies supposed to eat people if they have no teeth?
Love the concept, and most of the writing. The lack of teeth is a big error, but hey, we all make mistakes. 8/10.
Nice. I’ve read both the “Zombie Survival Guide” and “World War Z” by Max Brooks, and it follows closely, except he says it’s a virus, whereas this guy says it’s a bacteria… but since there was no real vaccination from it, it might as well be…
Love it. Will eat again.
FIRST!!!!
Thanks, this pasta was delicious
By the way, I don’t taste good, please don`t eat me
Not the scariest I have read, but the part where you describe the teeth being pulled out was disturbing, 7/10
I found it interesting, and just because you pull out your teeth, doesn’t mean you couldn’t eat someone. My friend’s sister in law had all her teeth pulled by some idiot dentist that forgot to sand down her bone under the gums, now she has no teeth and can’t be fitted for dentures yet because she has razor sharp, ragged bits of bone that protrude from where her teeth were.
I assumed the narrator was already a cannibal. The story itself is false and the meteor was his attempt at justifying murdering people. The other cannibals are how he perceives himself, the “self preservation” is the preservation of his waning sanity.
Considering one of my greatest fears in the world is a global pandemic of a killing disease, this… sorta scared the living crap outta me. Thanks. Nightmares T.T
Overall, though, 8.5/10. Yummy.
Decent. Better-written than some of the shit on here, definitely. [:
Points:
1. How would the bacteria survive the heat&shit in the atmosphere?
2. Would it seriously specialise to only attack humans? What’s its motivation?
3. Chimpanzees&etc would be simpler, I think.
4. And what about bacteria themselves? They’re living things, too. BACTERIALIST.
5. There are better, stronger&probably more nutritious animals out there. WHY NOT POLAR BEARS?
Answers would be appreciated. Muchly.
i liked it bunches!
,,,but how are you going to eat something living without teeth?
plooooooooothooooooooooles
this is interesting and someone brought up the idea that the reader is reading this inside the person’s house and was lured in by this alone and if that’s the case it’s very interesting. what’s odd is that i thought these were real people’s entries considering ive never been on this site before. i thought maybe these people are crazy…haha but now i know so interesting idea.
The idea of apologetic cannibalism is interesting, but this could use a LOT of revision. One part that struck out at me in particular was when the narrator directly cite The Stand. That form of allusion completely alienates the people who haven’t read the book, and furthermore, if you’re telling your audience to go read another book to explain a plot device instead of explaining it yourself, you’ve failed as a writer.
Overall, there are a lot of plot discrepancies and problems, but the idea at the heart of the story there’s definite potential.
Meh. Won’t boast about this one, but not gonna complain about it either. 5/10.
Though, I’m surprised no one else has mentioned the “flesh tissue” part. I feel like that’s a little repetitive.
I understand your pain.
dammit, that was great pasta!
I thought he was pulling his teeth out so he wouldn’t eat people or something, personally. Also, the astrologers part threw me for a loop. Some slight errors here and there, but overall, quite enjoyable
Honestly, if it wasn’t for the whole “disease doesn’t infect animals” thing, then it would have been an interesting twist if it turned out the writer was actually a Bear.
“Anyone in the vicinity of Mississippi was hospitalized”, I don’t think the author has any sort of concept of the scope of an entire US state if he thinks everyone living in and near one can be hospitalized in unison.
Ngl, the idea of people sobbing and apologizing while cannibalizing someone creeps me the fuck out. Needs some proofreading and corrections, but nice job nevertheless.
I Am Legend + Zombieland. No originality, bad POV. Sucked.
Hmmmm. Interesting.
Nice twist at the end:
“I’m so, so sorry”
I LIKE IT!
This pasta wasn’t really creepy, BUT WHO CARES, IMA LIKE IT!
Unoriginality was kind of a down, but the story was put out to well. I just don’t understand the no teeth part.
RAWR IMA DROOL ON U WIT MAH RADIOACTIVE SPITTLE. BLORPABLORP.
Other than that pretty nice.
9.5/10
One more question-
BUT WHO WAS BACTERIA?!?!
I don’t really think this was so great, it was alright but it somehow just didn’t seem creepy or even make much sense. (I know creepypastas don’t need to actually make much realistic sense but they should make sense in their own way)
Eh, it was alright.
I really love the idea, but then, I’ve always been a fan of that sort of thing. Amazing story!
Disturbing story. 10/10
it\’s a good story but theres a whole in the ending. if you\’re pulling you\’re teeth out how are you going to eat the guy?
I dunno, I didn’t care for the writing here. The virus is not particularly convincing; there’s no reason, even for storytelling purposes, that it should only target humans. Why would the news quit broadcasting? And why would you pull out your teeth if you know you’ve got to eat someone alive?
Also, I’d lose the reference to The Stand; we’re already struggling with derivation without referring directly to other works.
The writing isn’t great, but seeing descriptions of conflict between emotions and physiological needs in the infected was really creepy. (Basically, I agree with vespa. lol)
Murrrr. I didn’t migrate to creepypasta to read alien stories ;x
I liked this pasta a lot.
I knew from the start that there was going to be some zombie-like tendencies in it, but I was excited to see that they did not become zombies and still had humanity.
I would like to know how the POV character is going to attack his victims without any teeth though. Is he just going to cut them apart with a knife or something?
Also, I would like to know if an infected person eats another infected person, will that work? Because, technically, they are still living.
9/10
There were so many flaws in this. If it was air born, and you couldn\’t get it unless you were near someone infected, then how did the people get infected to begin with? Also, the elaboration of why only eating living beings would delay the process was desperately needed.
Wow! That was amazing! 100000000000000/10
good thing had some humanity in them. i guess thats why they pulled their teeth out, they tried to prevent themselves from eaching each other.
I think this must’ve been posted like a doezen times, but why would infected people eat other infected people?
I liked this one. It gave a good explanation of how something such as zombism could occur.
Holy crap. This was pretty good. Then I got the ending. Like, it hit me. Flying Fridge Logic. Wow.
He pulled out his teeth, how the fuck does he expect to eat someone? and WHO WAS NEIGHBOUR?
1 out of 10
pasta is generic and stale knock off with flawed logic
1 point for at least being about something that would be scary if it wasn’t overused
The creepiest thing about this is that the same behavior (eating teh peoplez) would be exhibited IRL by infected people, and you can bet your ass they wouldn’t apologize. Other than that… meh
I’m not normally one to say “not creepy, 0/10″ or whatever, but this pasta was pretty bad.
1. It’s literally identical to about five other zombie apocalypse pastas I’ve read here in terms of basic story setup. Strange thing happens; zombies appear and kill narrator’s dumbfuck neighbor; narrator turns into zombie. I’d like to see a zombie apocalypse pasta (zombie apastalypse?) written differently for once.
2. All sorts of flawed logic going on here. The thing that stuck out most to me is that the zombies have no teeth. Do they gum through human flesh? And why would an alien virus only infect humans, or infect anything on Earth at all?
It has promise to it, though. The people apologizing to the man they’re cannibalizing was pretty freaky. I give you a 2/10 for effort. Work on some more original concepts and your pastas could be winners.
WHOAH!!!
8.7/10.
This ACTUALLY made my bowels uneasy.
Very nice. Very twisted.
Oh, btw, he pulled out his teeth because he didnt WANT to eat people but later, he HAD to.
nazi zombies?
darn it normally i can’t fall asleep past midnight for no apparent reason but now it’s gonna be worse i hope i can fall asleep b4 2 o clock at the latest
darn it normally i can\’t fall asleep past midnight for no apparent reason but now it\’s gonna be worse i hope i can fall asleep b4 2 o clock at the latest
basically, good concept potential, ruined by bad writing
I didn’t appreciate the ending. I don’t see how he got infected. The rest was pretty good. Not the best though.
and then john was a zombie
bigger mammals, like Cows/ Steak.