Advertisement
Please wait...

Remember To Turn On The Lights



Estimated reading time — < 1 minute

I walked into the bed and breakfast tired as ever. First I entered the bathroom, turned on the light and washed up. I was too exhausted to turn on the rest of the lights in the room so it was a little dark. My bag was thrown under what appeared to be a full length mirror. There was not enough light to make out all of my features, but I could make out the basic shape of my body in the reflection. It’s not like it mattered. I was going to bed anyways so I didn’t need to check myself out. I could see my reflection out of the corner of my eye following me as a shuffled around the room, as it should. As soon as my head hit my pillow I was out.

A few hours later I was feeling a bit chilly. I felt a breeze on my face. I thought that someone must have left the window open. When I got up and scoured the walls for a window all I found was sheetrock covered in tacky wall paper. To get a better view I walk over by my bag and turned on the light switch. When I looked toward my bag to get a jacket, I found the source of the breeze.

That was no mirror, it was a window, and it was open. What ever was on the other side of that window was now in my room…..A heard a noise coming from the bathroom.

Advertisements

I found myself wishing I had turned the lights on sooner.

Advertisements

Credit To – Infinita Furor

Please wait...

Copyright Statement: Unless explicitly stated, all stories published on Creepypasta.com are the property of (and under copyright to) their respective authors, and may not be narrated or performed under any circumstance.

15 thoughts on “Remember To Turn On The Lights”

  1. I liked the pasta, but it seemed a little too plain. It made no sense as to why he thought a window was a mirror, what about background? 1st floor at a bed and breakfast, I’m surprised there wasn’t a shrub or bus.

  2. I liked the pasta, but it seemed a little too plain. It made no sense as to why he thought a window was a mirror, what about background? 1st floor at a bed and breakfast, I’m surprised there wasn’t a shrub or bush.

  3. Hello, first time commenter here. Since I am new and also have nothing better to do, I thought I’d try to contribute with thought-out feedback. I’m not a professional writer, though I dabble, and I also read quite a bit. I especially love sci-fi and creepypasta. I know how hard it is to get good feedback on texts on the Internet, so I try to contribute as well as I can. I hope this helps!

    The story has a good premise. It seems to be in the same vein as, or possibly inspired by, one of my favourite creepypasta – the one with the cabin in the woods, and the traveler, and the portraits on the walls. Because of this, I enjoyed the concept, but guessed what the catch was at the first description of the ‘mirror’ (“what appeared to be a full length mirror”). The wording gives away the ending, but then again, I can see the problem with misleading the reader on purpose. Still, since this is a creepypasta, I would go with the misleading. The truthfull story telling goes better with real experience ghost stories, where the reader fully expects the reveal, whereas in a creepypasta the scary part is the realization at the end. You could say that creepypasta is the M. Night Shyamalan of short fiction!

    The description of the character’s movements in the room and how the ‘reflection’ follows them in the mirror sounds natural and works as a nice way to get the reader into the story. It lulls the reader into the expectation that this is a nice atmospherical piece about a tired traveler, while at the same time describes something that will be creepy in retrospect. I liked it!

    The ending has a lot of grammatical quirks I would go over and fix (the I=A typo, the multiple dots, a tense quip). The second-to-last paragraph overall would benefit from some tuning. The last paragraph/sentence is a nice wrap-up, though. Overall the actions of the main character are logical and relatable, and the regret feels real.

    I try to rate things with some kind of consistency, so I came up with this:

    Delivery (grammar, smoothness, style): 1/3
    Story (characters, setting, plot): 4/6
    That Special Something that made me like the story: 1/1

    So, overall, I’ll give this a 6/10. This shows a lot of promise, and I hope you keep writing!

  4. I would think that a window at a bed and breakfast would have some kind of covering – like blinds or curtains – and especially on the ground level floor. I would have to be blasted to think that the other person moving was me… still, the story was amusing. Especially because I’m so glad to be reading stories again! :)

  5. Two pastas in one day! And this one was a great micropasta. Nice twist, creepy premise! While I kind of figured it out pretty early on due to some of the odd details, it was still well set up and executed. Nice job, and happy writing!

    1. It’s even more disturbing that the character does not know whether he has a mirror or a window in the room. Is retardation escalating again?

      1. Good point, it’s kind of strange that someone would be so unobservant that they’d mistake a person/entity as themselves, even if they didn’t turn the lights on.

        1. But then again, he was sort of half asleep and when you’re tired, you’re instincts aren’t all that good sometimes.

      2. The author mentions at the beginning that it was a b&b, so it’s kind of feasible that the protagonist isn’t totally familiar with the layout, especially in the dark.

  6. Wow, i was not expecting that ending at all. 8/10. It could’ve been a bit longer with more details though.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top