Scary Paranormal Stories & Short Horror Microfiction

Creepypasta

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Excerpt from a local Newspaper:
OMINOUS UNKNOWN KILLER IS STILL AT LARGE.

After weeks of unexplained murders, the ominous unknown killer is still on the rise. After little evidence has been found, a young boy states that he survived one of the killer’s attacks and bravely tells his story.

“I had a bad dream and I woke up in the middle of the night,” says the boy, “I saw that for some reason the window was open, even though I remember it being closed before I went to bed. I got up and shut it once more. Afterwards, I simply crawled under my covers and tried to get back to sleep. That’s when I had a strange feeling, like someone was watching me. I looked up, and nearly jumped out of my bed. There, in the little ray of light, illuminating from between my curtains, were a pair of two eyes. These weren’t regular eyes; they were dark, ominous eyes. They were bordered in black and… just plain out terrified me. That’s when I saw his mouth. A long, horrendous smile that made every hair on my body stand up. The figure stood there, watching me. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he said it. A simple phrase, but said in a way only a mad man could speak.

“He said, ‘Go To Sleep.’ I let out a scream, that’s what sent him at me. He pulled up a knife; aiming at my heart. He jumped on top of my bed. I fought him back; I kicked, I punched, I rolled around, trying to knock him off me. That’s when my dad busted in. The man threw the knife, it went into my dad’s shoulder. The man probably would’ve finished him off, if one of the neighbors hadn’t alerted the police.

“They drove into the parking lot, and ran towards the door. The man turned and ran down the hallway. I heard a smash, like glass breaking. As I came out of my room, I saw the window that was pointing towards the back of my house was broken. I looked out it to see him vanish into the distance. I can tell you one thing, I will never forget that face. Those cold, evil eyes, and that psychotic smile. They will never leave my head.”

Police are still on the look for this man. If you see anyone that fits the description in this story, please contact your local police department.

Jeff and his family had just moved into a new neighborhood. His dad had gotten a promotion at work, and they thought it would be best to live in one of those “fancy” neighborhoods. Jeff and his brother Liu couldn’t complain though. A new, better house. What was not to love? As they were getting unpacked, one of their neighbors came by.

“Hello,” she said, “I’m Barbara; I live across the street from you. Well, I just wanted to introduce my self and to introduce my son.” She turns around and calls her son over. “Billy, these are our new neighbors.” Billy said hi and ran back to play in his yard.

“Well,” said Jeff’s mom, “I’m Margaret, and this is my husband Peter, and my two sons, Jeff and Liu.” They each introduced themselves, and then Barbara invited them to her son’s birthday. Jeff and his brother were about to object, when their mother said that they would love to. When Jeff and his family are done packing, Jeff went up to his mom.

“Mom, why would you invite us to some kid’s party? If you haven’t noticed, I’m not some dumb kid.”

“Jeff,” said his mother, “We just moved here; we should show that we want to spend time with our neighbors. Now, we’re going to that party, and that’s final.” Jeff started to talk, but stopped himself, knowing that he couldn’t do anything. Whenever his mom said something, it was final. He walked up to his room and plopped down on his bed. He sat there looking at his ceiling when suddenly, he got a weird feeling. Not so much a pain, but… a weird feeling. He dismissed it as just some random feeling. He heard his mother call him down to get his stuff, and he walked down to get it.

The next day, Jeff walked down stairs to get breakfast and got ready for school. As he sat there, eating his breakfast, he once again got that feeling. This time it was stronger. It gave him a slight tugging pain, but he once again dismissed it. As he and Liu finished breakfast, they walked down to the bus stop. They sat there waiting for the bus, and then, all of a sudden, some kid on a skateboard jumped over them, only inches above their laps. They both jumped back in surprise. “Hey, what the hell?”

The kid landed and turned back to them. He kicked his skate board up and caught it with his hands. The kid seems to be about twelve; one year younger than Jeff. He wears a Aeropostale shirt and ripped blue jeans.

“Well, well, well. It looks like we got some new meat.” Suddenly, two other kids appeared. One was super skinny and the other was huge. “Well, since you’re new here, I’d like to introduce ourselves, over there is Keith.” Jeff and Liu looked over to the skinny kid. He had a dopey face that you would expect a sidekick to have. “And he’s Troy.” They looked over at the fat kid. Talk about a tub of lard. This kid looked like he hadn’t exercised since he was crawling.

“And I,” said the first kid, “am Randy. Now, for all the kids in this neighborhood there is a small price for bus fare, if you catch my drift.” Liu stood up, ready to punch the lights out of the kid’s eyes when one of his friends pulled a knife on him. “Tsk, tsk, tsk, I had hoped you would be more cooperative, but it seems we must do this the hard way.” The kid walked up to Liu and took his wallet out of his pocket. Jeff got that feeling again. Now, it was truly strong; a burning sensation. He stood up, but Liu gestured him to sit down. Jeff ignored him and walked up to the kid.

“Listen here you little punk, give back my bro’s wallet or else.” Randy put the wallet in his pocket and pulled out his own knife.

“Oh? And what will you do?” Just as he finished the sentence, Jeff popped the kid in the nose. As Randy reached for his face, Jeff grabbed the kid’s wrist and broke it. Randy screamed and Jeff grabbed the knife from his hand. Troy and Keith rushed Jeff, but Jeff was too quick. He threw Randy to the ground. Keith lashed out at him, but Jeff ducked and stabbed him in the arm. Keith dropped his knife and fell to the ground screaming. Troy rushd him too, but Jeff didn’t even need the knife. He just punched Troy straight in the stomach and Troy went down. As he fell, he puked all over. Liu could do nothing but look in amazement at Jeff.

“Jeff how’d you?” that was all he said. They saw the bus coming and knew they’d be blamed for the whole thing. So they started running as fast as they could. As they ran, they looked back and saw the bus driver rushing over to Randy and the others. As Jeff and Liu made it to school, they didn’t dare tell what happened. All they did was sit and listen. Liu just thought of that as his brother beating up a few kids, but Jeff knew it was more. It was something, scary. As he got that feeling he felt how powerful it was, the urge to just, hurt someone. He didn’t like how it sounded, but he couldn’t help feeling happy. He felt that strange feeling go away, and stay away for the entire day of school. Even as he walked home due to the whole thing near the bus stop, and how now he probably wouldn’t be taking the bus anymore, he felt happy. When he got home his parents asked him how his day was, and he said, in a somewhat ominous voice, “It was a wonderful day.” Next morning, he heard a knock at his front door. He walked down to find two police officers at the door, his mother looking back at him with an angry look.

“Jeff, these officers tell me that you attacked three kids. That it wasn’t regular fighting, and that they were stabbed. Stabbed, son!” Jeff’s gaze fell to the floor, showing his mother that it was true.

“Mom, they were the ones who pulled the knives on me and Liu.”

“Son,” said one of the cops,” We found three kids, two stabbed, one having a bruise on his stomach, and we have witnesses proving that you fled the scene. Now, what does that tell us?” Jeff knew it was no use. He could say him and Liu had been attacked, but then there was no proof it was not them who attacked first. They couldn’t say that they weren’t fleeing, because truth be told they were. So Jeff couldn’t defend himself or Liu.

“Son, call down your brother.” Jeff couldn’t do it, since it was him who beat up all the kids.

“Sir, it…it was me. I was the one who beat up the kids. Liu tried to hold me back, but he couldn’t stop me.” The cop looked at his partner and they both nod.

“Well kid, looks like a year in Juvy…”

“Wait!” says Liu. They all looked up to see him holding a knife. The officers pulled their guns and locked them on Liu.

“It was me, I beat up those little punks. Have the marks to prove it.” He lifted up his sleeves to reveal cuts and bruises, as if he was in a struggle.

“Son, just put the knife down,” said the officer. Liu held up the knife and dropped it to the ground. He put his hands up and walked over to the cops.

“No Liu, it was me! I did it!” Jeff had tears running down his face.

“Huh, poor bro. Trying to take the blame for what I did. Well, take me away.” The police led Liu out to the patrol car.

“Liu, tell them it was me! Tell them! I was the one who beat up those kids!” Jeff’s mother put her hands on his shoulders.

“Jeff please, you don’t have to lie. We know it’s Liu, you can stop.” Jeff watched helplessly as the cop car speeds off with Liu inside. A few minutes later Jeff’s dad pulled into the driveway, seeing Jeff’s face and knowing something was wrong.

“Son, son what is it?” Jeff couldn’t answer. His vocal cords were strained from crying. Instead, Jeff’s mother walked his father inside to break the bad news to him as Jeff wept in the driveway. After an hour or so Jeff walked back in to the house, seeing that his parents were both shocked, sad, and disappointed. He couldn’t look at them. He couldn’t see how they thought of Liu when it was his fault. He just went to sleep, trying to get the whole thing off his mind. Two days went by, with no word from Liu at JDC. No friends to hang out with. Nothing but sadness and guilt. That is until Saturday, when Jeff is woke up by his mother, with a happy, sunshiny face.

“Jeff, it’s the day.” she said as she opened up the curtains and let light flood into his room.

“What, what’s today?” asked Jeff as he stirs awake.

“Why, it’s Billy’s party.” He was now fully awake.

“Mom, you’re joking, right? You don’t expect me to go to some kid’s party after…” There was a long pause.

“Jeff, we both know what happened. I think this party could be the thing that brightens up the past days. Now, get dressed.” Jeff’s mother walked out of the room and downstairs to get ready herself. He fought himself to get up. He picked out a random shirt and pair of jeans and walked down stairs. He saw his mother and father all dressed up; his mother in a dress and his father in a suit. He thought, why they would ever wear such fancy clothes to a kid’s party?

“Son, is that all your going to wear?” said Jeff’s mom.

“Better than wearing too much.” he said. His mother pushed down the feeling to yell at him and hid it with a smile.

“Now Jeff, we may be over-dressed, but this is how you go if you want to make an impression.” said his father. Jeff grunted and went back up to his room.

“I don’t have any fancy clothes!” he yelled down stairs.

“Just pick out something.” called his mother. He looked around in his closet for what he would call fancy. He found a pair of black dress pants he had for special occasions and an undershirt. He couldn’t find a shirt to go with it though. He looked around, and found only striped and patterned shirts. None of which go with dress pants. Finally he found a white hoodie and put it on.

“You’re wearing that?” they both said. His mother looked at her watch. “Oh, no time to change. Let’s just go.” She said as she herded Jeff and his father out the door. They crossed the street over to Barbara and Billy’s house. They knocked on the door and at it appeared that Barbara, just like his parents, way over-dressed. As they walked inside all Jeff could see were adults, no kids.

“The kids are out in the yard. Jeff, how about you go and meet some of them?” said Barbara.

Jeff walked outside to a yard full of kids. They were running around in weird cowboy costumes and shooting each other with plastic guns. He might as well be standing in a Toys R Us. Suddenly a kid came up to him and handed him a toy gun and hat.

“Hey. Wanna pway?” he said.

“Ah, no kid. I’m way too old for this stuff.” The kid looked at him with that weird puppydog face.

“Pwease?” said the kid. “Fine,” said Jeff. He put on the hat and started to pretend shoot at the kids. At first he thought it was totally ridiculous, but then he started to actually have fun. It might not have been super cool, but it was the first time he had done something that took his mind off of Liu. So he played with the kids for a while, until he heard a noise. A weird rolling noise. Then it hit him. Randy, Troy, and Keith all jumped over the fence on their skateboards. Jeff dropped the fake gun and ripped off the hat. Randy looked at Jeff with a burning hatred.

“Hello, Jeff, is it?” he said. “We have some unfinished business.” Jeff saw his bruised nose.” I think we’re even. I beat the crap out of you, and you get my brother sent to JDC.”

Randy got an angry look in his eyes. “Oh no, I don’t go for even, I go for winning. You may have kicked our asses that one day, but not today.” As he said that Randy rushed at Jeff. They both fell to the ground. Randy punched Jeff in the nose, and Jeff grabbed him by the ears and head butted him. Jeff pushed Randy off of him and both rose to their feet. Kids were screaming and parents were running out of the house. Troy and Keith both pulled guns out of their pockets.

“No one interrupts or guts will fly!” they said. Randy pulled a knife on Jeff and stabbed it into his shoulder.

Jeff screamed and fell to his knees. Randy started kicking him in the face. After three kicks Jeff grabs his foot and twists it, causing Randy to fall to the ground. Jeff stood up and walked towards the back door. Troy grabbed him.

“Need some help?” He picks Jeff up by the back of the collar and throws him through the patio door. As Jeff tries to stand he is kicked down to the ground. Randy repeatedly starts kicking Jeff, until he starts to cough up blood.

“Come on Jeff, fight me!” He picks Jeff up and throws him into the kitchen. Randy sees a bottle of vodka on the counter and smashes the glass over Jeff’s head.

“Fight!” He throws Jeff back into the living room.

“Come on Jeff, look at me!” Jeff glances up, his face riddled with blood. “I was the one who got your brother sent to JDC! And now you’re just gonna sit here and let him rot in there for a whole year! You should be ashamed!” Jeff starts to get up.

“Oh, finally! you stand and fight!” Jeff is now to his feet, blood and vodka on his face. Once again he gets that strange feeling, the one in which he hasn’t felt for a while. “Finally. He’s up!” says Randy as he runs at Jeff. That’s when it happens. Something inside Jeff snaps. His psyche is destroyed, all rational thinking is gone, all he can do, is kill. He grabs Randy and pile drives him to the ground. He gets on top of him and punches him straight in the heart. The punch causes Randy’s heart to stop. As Randy gasps for breath. Jeff hammers down on him. Punch after punch, blood gushes from Randy’s body, until he takes one final breath, and dies.

Everyone is looking at Jeff now. The parents, the crying kids, even Troy and Keith. Although they easily break from their gaze and point their guns at Jeff. Jeff see’s the guns trained on him and runs for the stairs. As he runs Troy and Keith let out fire on him, each shot missing. Jeff runs up the stairs. He hears Troy and Keith follow up behind. As they let out their final rounds of bullets Jeff ducks into the bathroom. He grabs the towel rack and rips it off the wall. Troy and Keith race in, knives ready.

Troy swings his knife at Jeff, who backs away and bangs the towel rack into Troy’s face. Troy goes down hard and now all that’s left is Keith. He is more agile than Troy though, and ducks when Jeff swings the towel rack. He dropped the knife and grabbed Jeff by the neck. He pushed him into the wall. A thing of bleach fell down on top of him from the top shelf. It burnt both of them and they both started to scream. Jeff wiped his eyes as best as he could. He pulled back the towel rack and swung it straight into Keith’s head. As he lay there, bleeding to death, he let out an ominous smile.

“What’s so funny?” asked Jeff. Keith pulled out a lighter and switched it on. “What’s funny,” he said, “Is that you’re covered in bleach and alcohol.” Jeff’s eyes widened as Keith threw the lighter at him. As soon as the flame made contact with him, the flames ignited the alcohol in the vodka. While the alcohol burned him, the bleach bleached his skin. Jeff let out a terrible screech as he caught on fire. He tried to roll out the fire but it was no use, the alcohol had made him a walking inferno. He ran down the hall, and fell down the stairs. Everybody started screaming as they saw Jeff, now a man on fire, drop to the ground, nearly dead. The last thing Jeff saw was his mother and the other parents trying to extinguish the flame. That’s when he passed out.

When Jeff woke he had a cast wrapped around his face. He couldn’t see anything, but he felt a cast on his shoulder, and stitches all over his body. He tried to stand up, but he realized that there was some tube in his arm, and when he tried to get up it fell out, and a nurse rushed in.

“I don’t think you can get out of bed just yet.” she said as she put him back in his bed and re-inserted the tube. Jeff sat there, with no vision, no idea of what his surroundings were. Finally, after hours, he heard his mother.

“Honey, are you okay?” she asked. Jeff couldn’t answer though, his face was covered, and he was unable to speak. “Oh honey, I have great news. After all the witnesses told the police that Randy confessed of trying to attack you, they decided to let Liu go.” This made Jeff almost bolt up, stopping halfway, remembering the tube coming out of his arm. “He’ll be out by tomorrow, and then you two will be able to be together again.”

Jeff’s mother hugs Jeff and says her goodbyes. The next couple of weeks were those where Jeff was visited by his family. Then came the day where his bandages were to be removed. His family were all there to see it, what he would look like. As the doctors unwrapped the bandages from Jeff’s face everyone was on the edge of their seats. They waited until the last bandage holding the cover over his face was almost removed.

“Let’s hope for the best,” said the doctor. He quickly pulls the cloth; letting the rest fall from Jeff’s face.

Jeff’s mother screams at the sight of his face. Liu and Jeff’s dad stare awe-struck at his face.

“What? What happened to my face?” Jeff said. He rushed out of bed and ran to the bathroom. He looked in the mirror and saw the cause of the distress. His face. It…it’s horrible. His lips were burnt to a deep shade of red. His face was turned into a pure white color, and his hair singed from brown to black. He slowly put his hand to his face. It had a sort of leathery feel to it now. He looked back at his family then back at the mirror.

“Jeff,” said Liu, “It’s not that bad….”

“Not that bad?” said Jeff,” It’s perfect!” His family were equally surprised. Jeff started laughing uncontrollably His parents noticed that his left eye and hand were twitching.

“Uh… Jeff, are you okay?”

“Okay? I’ve never felt more happy! Ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa, look at me. This face goes perfectly with me!” He couldn’t stop laughing. He stroked his face feeling it. Looking at it in the mirror. What caused this? Well, you may recall that when Jeff was fighting Randy something in his mind, his sanity, snapped. Now he was left as a crazy killing machine, that is, his parents didn’t know.

“Doctor,” said Jeff’s mom, “Is my son… alright, you know. In the head?”

“Oh yes, this behavior is typical for patients that have taken very large amounts of pain killers. If his behavior doesn’t change in a few weeks, bring him back here, and we’ll give him a psychological test.”

“Oh thank you doctor.” Jeff’s mother went over to Jeff.” Jeff, sweety. It’s time to go.”

Jeff looks away from the mirror, his face still formed into a crazy smile. “Kay mommy, ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaa!” his mother took him by the shoulder and took him to get his clothes.

“This is what came in,” said the lady at the desk. Jeff’s mom looked down to see the black dress pants and white hoodie her son wore. Now they were clean of blood and now stitched together. Jeff’s mother led him to his room and made him put his clothes on. Then they left, not knowing that this was their final day of life.

Later that night, Jeff’s mother woke to a sound coming from the bathroom. It sounded as if someone was crying. She slowly walked over to see what it was. When she looked into the bathroom she saw a horrendous sight. Jeff had taken a knife and carved a smile into his cheeks.

“Jeff, what are you doing?” asked his mother.

Jeff looked over to his mother. “I couldn’t keep smiling mommy. It hurt after awhile. Now, I can smile forever. Jeff’s mother noticed his eyes, ringed in black.

“Jeff, your eyes!” His eyes were seemingly never closing.

“I couldn’t see my face. I got tired and my eyes started to close. I burned out the eyelids so I could forever see myself; my new face.” Jeff’s mother slowly started to back away, seeing that her son was going insane. “What’s wrong mommy? Aren’t I beautiful?

“Yes son,” she said, “Yes you are. L-let me go get daddy, so he can see your face.” She ran into the room and shook Jeff’s dad from his sleep. “Honey, get the gun we…..” She stopped as she saw Jeff in the doorway, holding a knife.

“Mommy, you lied.” That’s the last thing they hear as Jeff rushes them with the knife, gutting both of them.

His brother Liu woke up, startled by some noise. He didn’t hear anything else, so he just shut his eyes and tried to go back to sleep. As he was on the border of slumber, he got the strangest feeling that someone was watching him. He looked up, before Jeff’s hand covered his mouth. He slowly raised the knife ready to plunge it into Liu. Liu thrashed here and there trying to escape Jeff’s grip.

“Shhhhhhh,” Jeff said,”Just go to sleep.”

Credit To: Sesseur

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Rating: 8.8/10 (11018 votes cast)
Jeff the Killer, 8.8 out of 10 based on 11018 ratings
  • Anonymous

    I can’t believe you made the young boy at the beginning use words like illuminating, ominous, horrendous, and the lest goes on. No kid talks like that, especially a young one.

    You had all your characters speak in ways that seemed unnatural. You either used formality (e.g., the parents calling Jeff “son”) or cliché phrases (e.g., “and that’s final”), and there were things of this nature I don’t feel like finding. It seemed forced, particularly the “son” part. It reminded me of being a little kid and playing pretend, and forcing the words to make it feel more real when it only does the exact opposite. Nobody talks like that. Or at least rarely.

    The three bullies. Wow. You went so over-the-top with their personalities. I just don’t believe all three were such awful, violent kids and that all three were up for pulling out their knives on other people so readily. And to do it twice. In front of people.

    And that’s another thing. You’re trying to convince us that none of the parents stopped the children fighting at the party? That’s retarded.

    Still more, you had these four preteens (well, one’s 13 but still) fighting in this fantastic combat that even most adults wouldn’t engage in? Lol. That’s not believable at all. It’s not believable in general, but to make them so young makes it all the more dumb and all the less plausible.

    The way he became crazy was so silly. And for him to kill his brother too, it made no sense. Psychopaths can care for a handful of people. And you made him care so much about his “bro,” only for him to kill the kid so soon.

    I thought this feeling you kept making him have was whenever he felt annoyed with someone, and that you’d expand on that as the foundation for his mentality, rather than: four kids battle Matrix style, three killed, none of the numerous adults step in, and one goes crazy. Lolwut.

    By the way, you could’ve just had his eyelids burn off. And his hair would not singe to another color; it’d burn off.

    I could go on, but you get the hint.

    Jeff being an enigma is creepier. If you were successful at executing this, it would’ve been fine though. However, you were not.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +385 (from 929 votes)
    • Skylar

      I absolutely agree but I still injoyed it. This inspired me to take all the criticism from theses comments and make a better version of this story. Its going to be a lot longer but Im hoping when its finished I can upload it and it’ll be better than the original. I’m also calling it just "Jeff" and Liu’s name is being changed to Louis. Lou for short. So I’m hoping for the best and I hope you guys are to.

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      Rating: +58 (from 160 votes)
      • Anonymous

        I am finished ill try to upload it soon

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        Rating: 0 (from 46 votes)
        • Anonymous

          OK

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          Rating: 0 (from 20 votes)
        • Jeff the killer

          Skylar:
          Submitted Jeff: Revisited…not on the site yet…hopefully soon?

          YT?

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          Rating: +3 (from 11 votes)
        • Anonymous

          I did not read this Pasta bu the pic gave me goosebumps T-T

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          Rating: +2 (from 10 votes)
      • Skylar

        Submitted Jeff: Revisited…not on the site yet…hopefully soon?

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +10 (from 30 votes)
      • Ben_____drowned

        This is by far one of the best storylines ive ever read

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        Rating: -4 (from 130 votes)
        • Alexander

          Really?I mean REALLY?By far one of the best!?Sit down and start reading then, because this ‘creepypasta’ is the worst I’ve ever read.It belongs to the crappypasta section.I only finished it because I kept expecting it to get more and more ridiculous, and it did.Okay, I got past the thing that there are 12 year olds who carry knives and mug people on the street in broad daylight IN THE FANCY PART OF TOWN.Also, why do they look like cartoon characters?A fat and a skinny goon and the boss…That is how I imagined bad guys until the age of 5…Then the next day police came.Sure, nobody witnessed the actual fight or anything, but them running away, that’s something that ‘witnesses’ remember.Okay, no problem.Jeff admits it, then comes Liu(WHAT KIND OF A NAME IS THAT!?) holding a knife, and the policemen PULL THEIR GUN ON A 12 YEAR OLD WITH A KNIFE.He’s not threatening anyone, but two adult policemen who actually have a strict protocol restricting them when and where to even TOUCH their pistols.Two officiers aiming a gun at a kid for no reason at all could put their badge down for a lifetime.Then comes the party and the fight.Remember the first one?Randy’s wrist snapped, the other guy stabbed in the arm?They magically healed.In like a week.No need to plaster a broken hand, you can hit people with it.Okay, so these twelwe year olds decided that they’ll murder somebody who beat them up.If you think that’s how the world works, then you watched way too many action movies(instead of reading books).12 year olds beat eachother up constantly but they don’t bring guns to some party with 50 people to murder another kid in front of a crowd of people.What 12 year old would have the guts to do that anyway!?Again, we’re in the fancy part of town.And this is where we have to go back to the beginning of the story..A kid wakes up in the middle of the night, finds a monster in his bedroom, the cliché story we all know.In the middle of the night they start fighting the ‘monster’, but they are interrupted by the police who were called by a neighbour.So you’re saying that a neighbour was watching over their house all night waiting for the chance to call the police?They arrive pretty fast too, since it would have been easy for Jeff(he’s supposed to have super fighting powers fueled by some dark thing in his brain but the writer ‘forgets’ to mentoin it) to finish them off after he stabbed the kid’s dad in the shoulder.So again, when there was supposed to be no witness at all, someone called the police in the middle of the night, but NOBODY called them when they were fighting at the party?Jeff’s face was burnt and he spent time in hospital.Even though he ‘turned into an inferno’ right after he regained conciousness he could sit up and so on.Actually it takes months to heal from that.Without therapy you can’t even raise your hands and even if you could it would hurt like a bitch…And don’t even get me started on the face and the hair..Burn victims don’t have any hair left…Miraculously, his clothes were sewn back together as well, even though they are supposed to be burnt(they throw those clothes away in reality but whatever).So we arrived at the ending, he went nuts, okay.But why did he kill his family?Just because you go insane you won’t try to murder the people you love.He wasn’t a particularly evil kid or anything, nothing indicated that at least(maybe inserting stories about Jeff torturing helpless animals or some shit, jesus..).And when his mother found out about his insanity she immediately wanted to kill him.How does that make any sense?I notice that someone from my family is crazy and I shoot him/her?!What kind of a MOTHER could do that?This whole story is a ridiculous pile of steaming garbage, it’s so horrible I don’t know how can anyone write something this bad.It’s clearly a ‘Hmm, I wanna write something cool so I’ll just throw in some bloody scenes, fake psychology and shit I saw in horror movies and then I’m done before I get bored with it’.Obviously written in one sit.Horrible, just horrible.And the reason I’m so upset is that this is actually a famous creepypasta.

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          Rating: +131 (from 407 votes)
        • no…no…NO…PLEASE DONT……..NOOOOOOO!

          dude SHUT THE FUCK UP!is this your story? no? didnt think so! just shut up read and enjoy if you dont enjoy give it a shitty rating also kids like that are possible they have terrible and abusive parents and ig you get stabbed in the arm you can still use it may hurt but still usable and i will agree some things are messed up and stupid but some of the things you said are also stupid and maybe if you actually read it the kid or kids with guns said if someone intervenes gut will fly maybe the parents didnt want their children and/or themselves to be harmed also when he goes insane it makes sense for him to kill his family because 1. maybe he doesnt hold them dear 2. she did kinda betray him wanting to shoot him. plus if my kid went insane and was cutting and burning his eyelids off and shit like that i wouldnt want to see what happens next like what happened in the story she died. now i could go on a bit more but i really dont care and have already typed more than i wanted to so you enjoy pondering your idiotic thoughts. also just remembered this one but anyway the neighbor calling the police is totally possible maybe he heard a disturbance and screaming because pretty sure the kids dad would scream if he had a knife in his shoulder and the kid screaming trying to get him off of him. try to think more before commenting stuff that is actually possible. P.S. i believe i won :D

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -132 (from 356 votes)
        • Anonymous

          Listen kid I would LOVEto see you write a crap your pants story

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -60 (from 130 votes)
        • Nicholas

          Well, even though the story isn’t realistic in some ways, doesn’t change the fact that it’s still creepy. The reason why this creepypasta is so popular is because of Jeff’s character. At first he’s a fairly normal kid, but the way the story is written shows Jeff’s slow descent into madness.This creepypasta is also great because in the beginning he was pretty much a good person, it shows how even good people can become corrupted. I definitely wouldn’t say that it deserved to be considered a crappypasta but some of it sure could use a reality check.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +57 (from 153 votes)
        • Anonymous

          Dude it is jus a lil story. Don’t get so worked up

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +22 (from 100 votes)
        • quinn

          you never know it could be it detroit

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +42 (from 76 votes)
        • slenderman

          I think that your COMMENTARY IS LONGER THAN THE STORY AND BY THE WAY, I would LOVE to see you write a story! It is HARD. Even harder, writing a Horror story! So go along, write a story or get lost!

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -38 (from 148 votes)
        • NeonLazyLLama

          Dude!!! WTFH????? JUST SHUT UP!!!! THIS IS BY FAR THE BEST RE-WRITE OF JEFF THE KILLER THAT I’VE EVER READ!!! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU WROTE A STORY AND SOMEONE GAVE YOU THAT BAD A REVIEW?? YOU WOULD FEEL LIKE SHIT!!! SO JUST SHUT YOU TRAP AND LEAVE1!!

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -58 (from 174 votes)
        • http://gmail.com johnrico

          hey alexander if you do not like creepy pastas maybe you should not be on this site because you are just an odd man out when you are the only one whou doesm’t like jeff the killer.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -38 (from 112 votes)
        • SlenderSon426

          I heard that all CreepyPasta’s (not all just most) were made by SlenderMan driven insane from the cycological aspect of his presence. However it went down I truly enjoyed the story. (2 and a half out of 5) hope this gets better.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -18 (from 52 votes)
        • Jack

          Shhhhhhh, just go to sleep.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +52 (from 82 votes)
        • CanadianBroad

          BRAVO!!! I totally agree with you on this one.

          What a load of GARBAGE. Seriously.

          And to add to all that – the COPS are judge, jury and sentencing panel all in one?!?!?

          This is CRAPPYPASTA.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +42 (from 154 votes)
        • MacKenzie

          you do have a very good point, but this story is for entertainment, not for thinking everything through. I mean there are certain stories are not to be thought about.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +10 (from 56 votes)
        • collins

          how many stories have you read then?

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -15 (from 29 votes)
        • MYSTERY

          I agree I liked the story a lot but a thirteen year old boy doesn’t call their mom “mommy”

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -9 (from 49 votes)
        • SlenderJeff

          He went psycho remember

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +13 (from 43 votes)
        • samythepsycho

          I’m sixteen, neatly seventeen mind you, and I call my mom mommy momma mummy ma ECT. And he’s going insane, his inner child may be showing.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +39 (from 59 votes)
        • samythepsycho

          I’m seventeen and I call my mom mommy, momma, mummy, mama, ma, mum, ECT. And he’s going insane, his inner child may be showing.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +6 (from 34 votes)
        • samythepsycho

          I’m seventeen and I call my mom mommy, momma, mummy, mama, ma, mum, ECT.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +4 (from 30 votes)
        • Anonymous

          He went insane, thats why he called her “mommy”

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +15 (from 37 votes)
        • MacKenzie

          though they might if they are insane

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +6 (from 18 votes)
        • Cole The’Killer

          its nice to read about the man i choose to fight one day, so i know the truth behind his flaws and mistakes, for all those who don’t know me…My name is Cole…. I’m a 14 year old pre-teen girl who just wanted a normal life…including the killing and all but we all know the real story behind everyone’s mistakes…..

          P.s- Stay awake, or die sleeping

          Sincerely, Your beautiful-lest nightmare

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -40 (from 76 votes)
        • Anonymous

          YOU ARE CRAZY WOMAN!

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +4 (from 22 votes)
        • MacKenzie

          um……ok

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +2 (from 14 votes)
        • Nicola Marie Jackson

          If your 14 then you are a TEENager and therefore not a Pre-teen girl. Jesus hula hopping Christ, have a think xx

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
        • Johnny C.

          Uh…tl;dr. Sorry bro. Also, your English is shit. Read like, two words and was done. Fix it, then come back to your friendly neighborhood maniac and we’ll talk.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -1 (from 27 votes)
        • Him

          This is truly one of the most awfully written pastas I have read.

          The story does have potential, but the execution is awful! Why does the tense keep changing mid-paragraph?!

          I don’t know…

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +24 (from 60 votes)
        • Candlejack

          Hey, guys! What’s with all the monkey business?

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -2 (from 16 votes)
        • Anonymous

          Alexander, Id like to see you try to right a good pasta. You cant even put a space after a punctuation

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -17 (from 39 votes)
        • Anonymous

          this story is still amazing the wording doesnt matter because if you really enjoy a story you can enjoy it no matter the wording

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -6 (from 22 votes)
        • http://awesomeness Scarlett

          Bennnnnnnnnnn help somebody anybody helppppppppppp

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -1 (from 5 votes)
        • Richard The Hydralisk

          then your not reading enough.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -1 (from 1 vote)
        • http://youtube creepypastagirl

          this is a horror was scared out of my mind my friend and I read it out loud in my room and after we read it we where scared o.o o.o
          ___ ___

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -3 (from 5 votes)
      • Celine

        Hey… Does that mean that you’re the creator of Jeff the killer?? If so just email me on how you got the idea. ~celinebronox@hotmail.com

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: -14 (from 30 votes)
      • Anonymous

        I love jeff the killer

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +12 (from 34 votes)
      • Anonymous

        is it up yet?

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +1 (from 5 votes)
      • Anonymous

        I agree with you in some things, like he cliche and the personaitys if the bullies, but it’s not your story and if you don’t like it go write one if your own; a better one. And I honestly think you could write a better one.

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: -3 (from 19 votes)
      • Richard The Hydralisk

        no please… no more jeff… we have too many fanfictions and fangirls as it is, i can’t imagine how Derpbutt must feel dealing with all these uneducated morons swarming the site….

        all because of you, because you had to make an empty shell, that ANYONE who thinks their life is bad can step in to, and make themselves a self-insert killer.

        I want to know how you personally feel as a person knowing that now because of you we have to deal with girls that have sexual fantasies about some bleached up, burned alive, psychotic killer.
        This story should have never been uploaded… it should have been written MUCH better, and that shell should have been sealed off with concrete made of good writing and details.

        I’m now going to say “Fuck you”, not because you wrote this story or had the idea, but the fact you didn’t put forward the effort to make it somewhat logical, and the fact that you spawned one of the worst fandoms to try and deal with.
        so now…
        Fuck you.

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +8 (from 16 votes)
      • Anonymous

        I think this is a good idea. Here is a bit of advice from me;

        •Add a touch of romance. Maybe the antagonist could find a girl/boy they like?

        •Don’t be awkward with the wording. Please, just talk like you’re telling the story to another person.

        •Little stories in between. Add tiny little random stories, that could all connect in the end. It’ll get your readers thinking!

        •A lucky break? Save at least one character. Don’t try to kill them all. It’ll give you a good chance for a sequel.

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: -2 (from 6 votes)
      • Ayllen

        so if yall wanna like not talk bull shit about jeff id love that, you don’t know his life because he’s never told anyone, the witnesess sure but you don’t know the story directly from him, don’t say you know he, i catigoize him as a loving kid that got stuck on the wrong path, and if you say otherwise to me, i hope you know i honestly don’t give 2 shits what you say cause this is fact and opinion, you wanna make kidy shit storys like this about him, sure this could have been related to what it was like but like i said you don’t know it from his own mouth, i feel him watch over me cause i am like him and i cherish his well being and when he watches over me, re think what you know before you put it out there, and don’t bitch at me saying that i know his life cause i don’t eather but i sure as hell know this ain’t it

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: -6 (from 8 votes)
        • Thomas

          English is another thing you don’t know.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +6 (from 6 votes)
        • Anonymous

          I agree with Thomas on this one. Learn the English language before you try to ‘school’ a bunch of people. Another suggestion: Get your head examined. If you think fictional characters are ‘watching over you’, you’ve got serious mental problems.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
        • Snyarhedir

          I agree with the other two. Please try again in your primary language; I can always Google Translate it.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • http://Someguy Some guy

      DAMN…0-o But i do have to agree with all of that i mean he went through all that ot help his brother just to kill him… I mean wtf and i also agree with the hair it would definatly burned off. Story 7.5/10 Your comment 10/10 :D

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +6 (from 56 votes)
      • gammercall123

        that was crazy im scared of his face now jeeze your discriptive.i was lost in his pic of his face i just stared at it frozen untill my friend changed the page.

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +12 (from 42 votes)
        • ShanLovezCookiez

          im scared of it too but it gave me the oppisit affect i cant look at it for more than half a second and even with that im going to have nightmares :'(

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: 0 (from 24 votes)
        • jim

          Same here.jeez

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -1 (from 19 votes)
        • Skull candy

          This kid is a mad man

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +2 (from 20 votes)
        • Crystal

          His face was so scary my sister burst into my room crying and she had to sleep in my bedroom

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -2 (from 26 votes)
        • A Zerg Hydralisk

          god damnit, is everyone here 5? that face isn’t scary at all! the only thing that would be scary is the fact that girls out there want to BANG that! (term: fangirls)

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +7 (from 9 votes)
      • http://www.creepypasta.com The Twins 1&2

        hahahahaha! i am insane ~Twin 1~ and i am the other half of Twin 1 *Twin 2* we r the new creepypasta’s but r not know by the others…
        we r polar opposites but still get along. we both kill in different ways. I rip out their intestines and hang them with it ~Twin 1~, and I stab their eyes out and break their bones *Twin 2* we have not met Jeff, Slenderman, Ben, Sally and charlie, Bob, Masky and Hoodie, but we know who u r and its up 2 u if u want us P.S. I think Jeff would win against Slenderman ~Twin 1~ I think Slenderman would win against Jeff *Twin 2*

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: -12 (from 26 votes)
        • aaron

          Imma write a pasta about that

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +1 (from 3 votes)
      • ashley

        i think you should all stop talking sh@# about the story and just enjoy it. i mean, if you wrote a story and people b@#$%&ed about everything you did and all of the flaws you put in. wouldnt you be really sad that people cant just apreciate a horror story. i mean, come on people! thats just f@#$ed up.

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: -6 (from 26 votes)
        • BlueFox

          If people don’t like a story, they’re entitled to say so and why they thought it was average/bad/horrible.

          And let’s say I wrote a terrible story, because my first few would probably not be well-received. I won’t lie; I’d be a little hurt, but I’d also recognize that I could use the negative comments to make myself a better author. Frankly, I’d be more annoyed if someone just said “Wow, really great story. I loved it. Keep it up!” to avoid hurting my feelings. Empty praise isn’t worth shit.

          I hate those “Gais if u dnt lyk d story dnt comment” messages, because you’re pretty much saying “This person typed words, so stop being mean to him. He should never have anything bad said to him.” or “Your opinion differs from mine so nobody wants to hear it.”

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +20 (from 34 votes)
        • Richard The Hydralisk

          listen, NO ONE will take you seriously if you;
          A.) tell people on a site where comments are for CONSTRUCTIVE CRTITSISM to not comment because they don’t like it.
          B.)think this awful shit stain of a story is good.
          aaand.
          C.) censor yourself

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +3 (from 7 votes)
        • MarethyuX12

          Well, it’s better than sugarcoating something. I mean, if people sugarcoat your stories, they would be likely backstabbing you, and if you heard them, wouldn’t it be much more painful?

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
        • Anonymous

          Appreciate horror… appreciate would be the correct spelling. Come back when you’re not a teenager and see if this still entertains, creeps you out, or terrifies you. This is just down right terrible.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • Dante

      Hey, a lot of the younger generation learn words like that, can’t really judge him on that part.

      How do you not believe the bullies were not violent? Pulling guns on others isn’t violent? Seriously though.

      The parents were probably keeping the little kids safe, plus, the other two bullies had guns, if they even attempted they would have been shot.

      Not all psychopaths are like that, this is a killer with NO sanity whatsoever.

      How does it not make sense to save his brother and not kill him later? Let’s see, as said, you have a killer with zero sanity, and his brother, Jeff wouldn’t care if it was his brother or not, HE IS AN INSANE KILLING MACHINE.

      Sure the whole "getting a strange feeling when around someone who you hate" Is a bit silly, but hey, it’s fictional, anything can happen.

      Having his eyelids burned off, in my opinion is too mainstream. The thought of him going insane and burning off his eyelids himself is a lot better.

      Again, it’s fictional, anything can happen.

      I give this story 10/10

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +9 (from 127 votes)
      • Anonymous

        Exactly. :)

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: -6 (from 10 votes)
      • Rack

        The point is kids that age, especially that live in the richer part of town, wouldn’t be that violent or stupid. Sure kids are violent. But wanting to kill someone? With that easy access to guns? In front of adults? And they can hop fences on there bikes? Honestly this story has just so much stupid in it, there’s just nothing redeeming about it. It has to make sense within it’s own universe, which this story does not by far. Everything was just way to over the top to be even plausible for kids that age to do.

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +18 (from 26 votes)
        • Jack

          Remember, kids are humans. Humans of every age are capable of committing very horrendous acts of violence. Also, there were kids in my middle school back then who had drugs and one case of a knife at school.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +2 (from 4 votes)
      • Lunacy

        why didn’t the police get those violent twelve tear old before Jeff’s story began if they were mental enough to use guns? and how come it was those same idiotic kids who got Lui in jail? and how could large doses of painkiller make jeffy insane? and how is it normal then? and wasn’t he a 13 kid so why’s he called a “man” in the beginning/ hy’s it so typical?vit doesn’t make sense. a bit typical. not too scary. the pic looked like a shark.

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +4 (from 10 votes)
        • BlueMidnightSavage

          how many freaken books or movies do you see that have talking animals, is that realistic. look at two-face for example you think he could of survived what happened to him in real life no, and do you complain i didn’t think so. Leave this story alone its a great story it doesn’t need to be realistic. DAMN..people are never impressed!

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -4 (from 18 votes)
      • http://MEEEE MEEEE

        I 100% agree!!!!!

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)
    • Liv

      look. its fine,,,, the fact he made it like that makes it more exciting so fuk off… it was awesome…

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: -2 (from 70 votes)
    • EpicBeats

      Though all this may be true, I found that the story was still very enjoyable and exciting.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +11 (from 29 votes)
    • Jeff’s Protege

      Listen, asshat, it’s called fiction, and in this fictional world, the author is it’s god, which means the author can damn well do whatever he/she wants to do with the story. Fuck it if a’int realistic and shit. That’s what fiction is all about. Fiction transcends the boundaries of real life.

      If it were, say, a real-life narrative, then, yes, your form of critique would work.

      Fuck off if you don’t like the story just ’cause some of the elements YOU expected weren’t present.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: -12 (from 98 votes)
      • The_Drawers

        Yo, the best works of fiction are supposed to be, like, realistic. That’s what makes them, like, good and shit.

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +7 (from 57 votes)
      • $crap

        xD lol asshat but i have to agree its not real because if this was real slendy would be real to so tell me have u seen slendy?

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: -23 (from 31 votes)
        • Magical Anon.

          Of course. Who hasn’t?

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +16 (from 26 votes)
        • SlenderJeff

          I like your smartass retort sounds like something I would say…Of course. Who hasn’t?

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +5 (from 13 votes)
        • Anonymous

          Of course he’s real.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +12 (from 18 votes)
        • Mr. Slenderman

          Yes I am real

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +16 (from 28 votes)
        • The Killer Known As Jeff

          He is very real…and still owes me 20 bucks.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +25 (from 31 votes)
        • http://hotmail Slendy

          Have you seen slendy?

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +11 (from 17 votes)
        • Anonymous

          I know I have

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +7 (from 7 votes)
        • Just someone…

          Why yes. I have seen Slendy. There are dozens of pics in the internet ;D

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      • Rack

        It still has to make sense within its own fictional universe, this one clearly does not. Learn how to fiction, asshat. This is clearly set in some version of the real world, nothing about any of this is realistic in anyway about how the children act or speak. You can explain ghosts easily in a story like this, you can’t explain kids acting like movie action heros or 30 year old prison thugs, without some kind of crazy world building details, and even then its a bit ridiculous.

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +10 (from 26 votes)
      • Silverleaf

        F*CK YEAH! So true xD

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: -4 (from 6 votes)
      • Thomas

        There’s also something called willing suspension of disbelief.

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)
    • Anonymous

      1/10 on the story, 10/10 on this comment.
      The story was silly and not very believable. I felt like I was reading a goofy horror story from the 80s, where all you needed was mindless gore to make a story scary.

      I can buy how he killed his brother after “saving” him, because if you think about it, he didn’t necessarily attack the bullies to save his brother, he did it because his less sane side took over.

      I agree that the dialogue is contrived, especially when Liu says “poor bro”. Inconsistencies such as his hair not burning off bug me a bit, and I don’t see how anyone would be burnt like that and come out of it with bleached skin and shiny black hair. I mean I guess it makes sense if you’re Michael Jackson lol. But whatever, creepypasta is what it is.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +11 (from 89 votes)
      • Anonymous

        Shut upwith the long

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: -24 (from 34 votes)
      • Question.

        If you are the all-knowing God of CreepyPasta to the point that you can trash others work because they used certain grammar or certain elements in their story. Please. By all mean. Make something better, I want to see what you come up with.

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: -9 (from 13 votes)
    • Anonymous

      I have always thought that i mean the kid could say

      “I SAW SANTA!!!!!! and he tried to kill me and my dad but still…SANTA!!!!!!

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +15 (from 27 votes)
    • The Doll

      My 13 year old bro uses words like that.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +7 (from 31 votes)
      • Melissa Sim

        That pic tho where the hell is his nose

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
        • Laneycat

          Jeff’s nose melted, didn’t it?

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • Seth

      Kids are getting more and more violent these days, as you can tell from recent events. The fighting scenes do make sense though, the kids charge in with basic tactics while Jeff, with some strange sixth sense deal, has a natural edge towards fighting and easily takes them down. The bullies are shocked at it but come back to re-assert their dominance by attempting to kill Jeff. The parents couldn’t have intervened until the kids were upstairs because they had two loaded guns(unless you bring guns to a kid’s party). The bullies were winning at first, presumably because Jeff playing games with the little kids made him feel younger, more carefree, and less prone to the anger attacks that made him want to kill people. This can make the reader think about what would’ve happened if the kids had confessed beforehand and not returned to get vengeance, because Jeff would’ve stayed a normal kid. A few things don’t really fit like how Randy supposedly had his wrist broken and the other kid his shoulder stabbed and it’s unnoticeable a few days later.

      The eyelids couldn’t have burned off in the fire without at least partially blinding him( unless he pulled them off his face a bit and burned them intentionally), and if the people had extinguished the fire on his head(including his hair and eyes), then his hair could have just been singed rather than burnt off. Think of when you throw pine needles or grass into a fire, they don’t just turn straight to ash, first the oils on the surface burn, leaving a black tint and a fragile but firm strand(if you put force into it, it will crumble in your hands but otherwise it will remain whole. I grew up surrounded by pine trees and we had bonfires almost weekly so i know what i’m talking about). So he could just have fragile hair if his hair was just the right length, and if the fire had gotten to his hair last there could be a thin layer of ash stuck to his hair.

      Not all killers are the same, and he probably felt betrayed by his family because they all saw him as ugly after he had become what he thought was beautiful. He thought he was so beautiful that he couldn’t take his eyes off of himself and opened them permanently, and kept his smile perpetually smiling. After he’d done that they made it obvious they thought that he was ugly, and so he got angry, prompting his killing spree which took out his brother.

      It may not seem to make sense but it fits together if you give it a little thought.

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      Rating: +18 (from 56 votes)
      • wesley

        why would jeff kill his brother he wanted to stay with his brother

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        Rating: 0 (from 18 votes)
        • Anonymous

          He turned into a fucking Psycho
          dumass

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          Rating: +4 (from 32 votes)
        • Anonymous

          *facepalm* He went nuts….DERP.

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          Rating: +14 (from 34 votes)
        • Katrina

          BECAUSE HE WENT INSANE YOU ASS-HAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAVE YOU NOT READ THE FUCKING STORY???!!!!

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          Rating: -4 (from 20 votes)
        • Hensman

          Katrina, I hereby revoke your caps lock privileges.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +20 (from 24 votes)
      • Laila

        i was wondering that too, how could randy’s wrist be broken but then be functioning in two days?
        and personally, i can see how Jeff would have been cute after the hospital (minus the carved-in smile and burned-off eyelids…)

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: -4 (from 14 votes)
        • BlueMidnightSavage

          then all he would be is white with black hair he wouldn’t be scary think about it if you saw a guy with black hair and white skin “maybe he has a skin condition” but add no eyelids with mouth carvings coming at them they would be like “shit were screwed”

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +3 (from 5 votes)
      • Alexander

        If you really spent so much time around fires you’d know that you don’t have to put your hand in the fire for it to burn the hair off your hand.Even though your comment is actually good(not the ignorant retard style), this story has way too many holes.This story is simply bad as it is.

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +7 (from 31 votes)
      • Rack

        Kids are getting less violent actually, media coverage is just getting more prevalent and sensationalist. What 12 year old trys and murders someone with a gun? Not many even have access to a gun, and they can hope a fence on there bikes? No kid is that stupid honestly, in the rare cases 12 year olds do murder someone, its rarely with guns, and the kids are smart enough to do it at least hidden and not in front of 50 people at a party. They know the consequences and fear them.

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +4 (from 10 votes)
    • CanterburyRock

      You make some reputable points, however this is a piece of fictional writing, and the author can choose to execute the pasta in whichever style he wants. The boy at the beginning could come from an aristocratic background, or is simply just a literate boy. I’m 13, and when I was around 9-10 years old (I’m guessing that’s how old he was) nothing less would’ve been expected from me. And as for the three bullies, children like that do exist, and it just so happens that three of them were conveyed in this story. The fact that this is a fictional story makes all of these supposed transgressions acceptable.
      I thoroughly enjoyed the story though, great work :)

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +7 (from 39 votes)
      • Rack

        No kids are not like that, maybe in war torn third world countries they’d be willing to murder without fear of the consequences and have such easy access to guns. But not in the suburbs

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +5 (from 13 votes)
    • Anonymous

      This story wasn’t made to be believable. It’s a work of fiction. Just sayin’. And I don’t think that was very good “constructive” criticism. You could have been a little nicer about it.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: -18 (from 36 votes)
      • Josh Biatch!

        ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐ BIATCH

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        Rating: +3 (from 21 votes)
      • MarethyuX12

        Umm… Constructive criticism is not about being nice, right?

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        Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • Anonymous

      Calm your tits, it’s just a story posted on the internet. You shouldn’t expect it to be perfect and professional.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +2 (from 34 votes)
      • Rack

        I dont think anyone does, its just nice if they actually make sense, especially when they get this popular. It makes us all look stupid when something that makes no sense gets as popular as the stuff that is written well and has a plausible (within its own universe) story.

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        Rating: +8 (from 16 votes)
    • Creeper

      Umm, it is just a story bro. Besides, the kid could have been smarter than standards.

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      Rating: 0 (from 30 votes)
    • Liu

      Also, didn’t Randy die in the second fight? How did he confess in the end? Everything you said is true and why this story sucks for me.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +7 (from 41 votes)
      • June the Killer

        Arent you suppose to be dead? o.e

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        Rating: +14 (from 20 votes)
      • Jeff the Killer

        No, Liu. The parents heard Randy confess of attacking us in the first fight BEFORE I killed him… And his friends. So yeah he’s dead. *realization* Wait, aren’t you dead? O.o

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +12 (from 18 votes)
        • Smile Dog

          I do agree, this story is confusing and needs to be read multiple times to understand. e.e

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          Rating: +4 (from 6 votes)
      • Anonymous

        They said the eyewitnesses confessed to seeing Randy and his friends attack first.

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        Rating: -1 (from 1 vote)
    • Kingwazing

      He’s not a little kid he’s a teenager

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      Rating: +11 (from 23 votes)
    • S.C.A.R.S.

      first off i just wanna say your wrong about Jeff going crazy all of the sudden. it is possible for anyone to go psychotic after a week or two. i know because i get those “Feelings” all the time. i’ve had trouble fighting them for a while. i often think of killing my family.
      like i’ll walk up behind him and stab him in the throughout then, i’ll kick the back of her knee and stab her in the eye and so on. honestly i wouldn’t mind if Jeff came in the night and cut out my cheeks and lips. if the writer wanted to make Jeff more realistic then he wouldn’t have his eye lids burnt out. i mean try to keep your eyes open for more than twenty minutes. your sight starts to get blurry and your eventually go blind. his mouth and cheeks on the other hand, that is possible. i’ve thought about that and it would work. the only thing that would suck is trying to swallow stuff.honestly i wouldn’t mind if Jeff came in the night and cut out my cheeks and lips.

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      Rating: -26 (from 42 votes)
      • http://www.creepypasta.com derpbutt

        Look into therapy/counseling. I’m not trolling you; truly, there is no shame in getting counseling when you need it.

        VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +28 (from 42 votes)
        • Anonymous

          nice name

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          Rating: -2 (from 10 votes)
        • Dawnofthedead

          Um yea cutting any part of the face could lead to infection especially around the mouth so please don’t attempt that… Ever.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +5 (from 11 votes)
        • Richard The Hydralisk

          Anonymous:
          nice name

          yea, Derpbutt is pretty awesome. hes the site admin for fucks sake! he puts up with people who make awful stories or make stupid comments, AND keeps his sanity at the same time!
          Derpbutt you are awesome

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          Rating: -1 (from 3 votes)
        • http://www.creepypasta.com derpbutt

          Thanks, zerg!

          VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: 0 (from 4 votes)
      • madilyn

        it’s a fictional story. and when people are truly traumatized, they can go insane in an instant and oh my god leave the dude alone. he wrote a good story so back off.

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        Rating: +1 (from 31 votes)
        • Thomas

          This story is what traumatized me.

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          Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
    • Wren

      I use words like that and I’m not as old as you might think. I can/ could use those words and defenses.

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      Rating: -2 (from 22 votes)
    • madilyn

      i think the way it was written was just fine. the bullies seem like the bullies at my school. they didn’t fight matrix style and the parents probably didn’t step in because shots were being fired. stop saying the things they wrote are “unbelievable” because it is their writing voice,not yours. don’t criticize the way they changed his hair color because the hair does get darker when burnt. it doesn’t always fall off. you have no idea what time the stories setting is in. they were happy with their word choice and i don’t see you posting stories that actually catch the attention of the reader. this story does catch attention.

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      Rating: -2 (from 28 votes)
    • Kenzie

      I think u need to calm the fuck down.

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      Rating: -5 (from 19 votes)
    • http://iCloud.com Roflmao

      Okay let me get 2 things straight here. 1) yes, I could agree with you on SOME of these things but you don’t have to sound like you despise this person for messing up a little bit. 2) fuck off!! It’s FICTIONAL!! This is creepypasta guys! They’re just stories made to scare the shit out of people! You don’t have to criticize the person for not writing a five star novel! Even if you don’t like it or don’t think its scary, you don’t need to leave your shitty comments anyway. I personally don’t think it’s very scary or creepy at all except the picture and the fact that it involved sleep, but I think it is very interesting. And yes Jeff, your beautiful. I’m not lying.

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      Rating: +1 (from 21 votes)
    • epicface3001

      I really enjoyed this story, but that comment was probably kinda mean, like, how long do you thhink it took to make this story. If you really respect the guy who made this story, then you really shouldn’t be dissing it. And I know I kinda dissed you too, and I’m sorry, but when the OP read this I bet you it made him/her kinda sad or something.

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      Rating: +4 (from 18 votes)
      • Rack

        Like 10 minutes, he said how long he thought it took to right, it looks like this was the first draft of a really bad story.

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        Rating: +3 (from 13 votes)
    • http://bro tim

      i say stuff like that all the time i’m 13.
      i’m gonna go over yonder hill.

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      Rating: +12 (from 18 votes)
      • Flameblaze100

        You guys should look up Eyeless Jack

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        Rating: +9 (from 15 votes)
      • Lunacy

        didn’t your mummy teach you not to tell strangers your age? they might take a shine to you, you know.

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        Rating: +4 (from 6 votes)
    • casy

      You never know the kid might have been a nerd and you critize to much

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      Rating: +2 (from 14 votes)
    • leV-Lee

      To everyone complaining about the people who are giving this story a bad review. They are giving constructive criticism. Sure, they could say it in a nicer way but if no one points out the bad things about the story, the author will never (ok, mabye not as quickly) get better as a writer.

      For example, if a kid makes a sandwhich and fills it with, say poop, (im not saying this story is poopy) and no one points out how it tastes like poop, then he will always make poop sandwhiches and never be a good sandwhich maker.

      As for the story, it can keep you captivated, has average grammar, and yes, a little unrealistic at times. Now, im not saying that a story has to be realistic, it is fictional afterall, but a little realism helps with the creepiness as you can be able to believe that it can happen to you or, in this case, actually happened. 8/10.

      Sorry for the long comment.

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      Rating: +18 (from 24 votes)
    • leV-Lee

      I Pressed submit by mistake.

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      Rating: +6 (from 8 votes)
    • ezesnake

      Adults:Hey these kids are engaged in deadly combat…
      The smart moneys on the fat one.

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      Rating: +5 (from 19 votes)
    • Anonymous

      not to mention that he got the same thing he was wearing earlier “cleaned and stitched” if he was on fire his clothing would NOT have been okay after being “cleaned and stitched”

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      Rating: +2 (from 16 votes)
    • http://therz14.deviantart.com/ robert

      i agree with that but that snapping actually makes sense because before he went insane he was already feeling crazy and wanting to hurt people. All he needed was an outside source to push his mental state out of control. True, Psychopaths do care for few people but remember that he felt betrayed by his mom which pushed him even more, But the preteens being punks like that was a little too much maybe if their age was increased it would be better plus the party didn’t make a great location. So the metal factors are accurate but outside characters need to be change a little.

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    • breakherlegs

      Agree with this comment completely. Yes, it’s a work of fiction but it still needs to make sense.

      Yes, some kids might use words like ‘ominous’ etc. but Jeff’s character didn’t really seem like the kind of guy who would. In fact, he pretty much had NO character. None of the character’s did.

      The dialogue was horrific. I couldn’t take the story seriously with comments like ‘poor bro’.
      Not to mention, the way the mother reacts at the end.
      She walks in on her kid horrifically mutilating himself and says ‘What are you doing?’ then proceeds to run off to fetch a gun? Are you kidding?
      Pfft. ‘What are you doing’… I mean, this is her KID, yeah?

      Also, are you SURE the legal system works like that? No trial, no interrogation? Just, you know, a COP says ‘Nah, you kids are lying. Not listening to your side of the story. Here’s your charge’. Now I thought there was a bit more of a process then that.

      Seriously. I kept hearing references to this ‘Jeff the Killer’ so I thought I ought to check it out, expecting something creepy or at least intelligent. Find this shit instead.

      You guys sure don’t have taste.

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      Rating: +17 (from 31 votes)
      • Person

        Shut the fu ck up. If you don’t like the story from the beginning, don’t finish reading it! Nobody wants to deal with all of your hate and bad shit you say about this. It’s just stupid. I really liked the story and I think the author did a really good job on it. He probably worked really hard on it too. SO QUIT HATING.

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        Rating: -14 (from 28 votes)
        • Thomas

          I bet they worked hard to build Chernobyl too. Working hard does not equal good results.

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          Rating: +5 (from 5 votes)
      • Anonymous

        Real talk, I can’t understand why this is apparently so highly regarded. It is not good.

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        Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
    • Anonymous

      He did not kill his brother. If you go to the begging a kid toll a story lingt to the end. I think they met liu was the kid at the begging

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      Rating: -10 (from 14 votes)
      • JEFF THE KILLER

        GO TO SLEEP

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        Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)
    • Anonymous

      he became a sociopath duh

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      Rating: -3 (from 11 votes)
    • http://none matthew brousseau

      I love this story because I am doing a slide show about Jeff the killer and Jane the killer, eyeless jack,hodie,slendy, and Jeff the killer with a Mexican hat

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      Rating: +5 (from 11 votes)
      • Jeff the Killer

        It’s a badass sombrero. Not a mexican hat.

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        Rating: +11 (from 15 votes)
      • JEFF THE KILLER

        go to sleep :D

        :real

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        Rating: -2 (from 2 votes)
    • Anonymous

      Ok so this is unrealistic but really the only part “creepy” about it is like said the bullies would not be that brutal, psychopaths have some sense of sanity, so killing the only people they love is kinda true, but things usually have to set them off, parents, other kids, and cops would show up soon during the fight. I may not be able to write a story this popular, but not burning your hair off after burning your eyelids makes no sense. I really don’t want to look like a “hater”, but I feel this lacked quality.

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      Rating: +8 (from 16 votes)
    • Nyancat83

      The news reporters probably chose those words to make the little boy more “understandable”. Thats what they actually do u know? =3

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      Rating: -4 (from 8 votes)
    • slenderman

      Yeah I agree, and can I add on? I don’t think that his NOSE burned off! look at the pic to see what I mean

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      Rating: +10 (from 10 votes)
      • Anonymous

        If u have read the other stories about jeff, he fallen for a girl called wendy. She kissed him when he was about to kill her and thought that his lips betrayed him , he burned his lips and his nose as ‘bonus’. SPOILER ALERT!!!!!

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        Rating: +1 (from 5 votes)
        • Jeff the Killer

          OMG i read that^^ i wanna be wendy……

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          Rating: -1 (from 7 votes)
        • Thomas

          FYI, you don’t put spoiler alert at THE END of the comment.

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          Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
    • Anonymous

      Also Jeff is like a rip off of joker

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      Rating: +1 (from 25 votes)
      • Decimvs

        No. Joker is a rip-off of Jeff. Haven’t you seen the poster where Joker says “Why so serious?”? Yes joker came first, but now it’s starting to become ridiculous!

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        Rating: -2 (from 8 votes)
        • Anonymous

          Actually…

          The Dark Knight, which featured the Joker with the carved smile, came out in 2008.

          Jeff the Killer, on the other hand, came out three or four years later.

          Sooooo, yeah…

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    • Anonymous

      He wasnt a young boy he was 14-17

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      Rating: +1 (from 11 votes)
      • Rack

        That is still a child.

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        Rating: +4 (from 14 votes)
    • Anonymous

      Oh be quiet. If you hate the story don’t even bother to comment down here. I’m sick of all the haters saying that it’s ridiculous. Just keep it to yourself. The world doesn’t need to know you hate it.

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      Rating: -5 (from 25 votes)
      • Rack

        No, but criticism is always good. This is very poorly written. With criticism the author can learn, without and this stupid everyone deserves an a for effort! attitude, you’ll never improve.

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        Rating: +9 (from 15 votes)
    • That’s just ridiculous. Is it your story? No. You don’t get to decide what people write. Plus, you aren’t insane so you don’t know if they care for people or not. If you don’t like it, keep it to yourself and right your own god damn story.

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      Rating: -8 (from 18 votes)
    • The grim reaper

      I am younger then Jeff was and I use words like ominous and illuminating and horrendous.

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      Rating: -5 (from 15 votes)
    • blain

      uhhh….do u think its supposed to be believable?? ur reading this on a website not based on relisticness but on creepiness. i dont think the author was aiming for perfect facts to satisfiy critics like u. in my opinion they were aiming for a GREAT story line, which is what the produced. thank you and goodnight.

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      Rating: -6 (from 16 votes)
      • Rack

        Shit story line, it’s fiction but has to make sense within its own universe, which this does not.

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        Rating: +10 (from 18 votes)
    • not willing to tell name

      disturbing photo

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      Rating: +2 (from 8 votes)
    • http://none Ipittythekid

      I feel so bad.. Jeff used to be such a good kid………. now thanks to Randy, he’s a maniac!
      :(

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      Rating: +1 (from 13 votes)
    • PJ Carucci

      I agree with the word choice part, but the reason he killed Liu was he just liked killing. And perhaps he did feel bad about it some time in the future.

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      Rating: +6 (from 6 votes)
    • Sollux Captor

      TA: ii hone2tly diidnt like thii2. iit diidnt conviince me at all

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      Rating: -9 (from 11 votes)
    • jeff the killers girlfriend

      i loved the story and because the author made it that way i love it its so unique…. i have no idea why people are hating this piece of beautiful work ..it may sound over the top but that’s how i fell :)

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      Rating: -7 (from 17 votes)
      • Nicola Marie Jackson

        Did the story trip you? xx ;-)

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        Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • Scarlett

      I know they probably don’t like children on here, but screw it, I don’t get nightmares easily. I’m twelve, almost thirteen, and I always talk like that. It’s normal if the child has a rather large vocabulary, which I do. In the story, Jeff is my age. Are you saying that we speak like nine year old? How despicable. Why don’t you stop judging children like they’re all the same. I know better, why don’t you? Also, “Illuminating” “horrendous” and “ominous” are all quite small words. It’s funny you adults think you know better. Not all children now-a-days shout “YOLO” whilst doing something horrendous. Or just say “SWAG” like they’re better. No, I want to either be a teacher, or a writer when I grow up. I do not believe in either “SWAG” nor “YOLO”. In fact the two disgust me beyond expectation. So, I have finished my rant. This small twelve year old who knows better thank others in her age group shall be on her way. Farewell.

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      Rating: -6 (from 22 votes)
    • http://youtube.com Bunny

      XD HE LOOKS LIKE A RACOON

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      Rating: -1 (from 5 votes)
      • Zombiebunny

        He totally does XD

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        Rating: +1 (from 3 votes)
    • lucasandmax

      this is freaky as hell says max.sleep wasent inportant any way says lucas

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      Rating: +1 (from 5 votes)
    • Anonymous

      I spoke with those words when I was young, however I do agree with the rest of what you said.

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      Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)
    • Aprez

      I have to agree that this is not a good piece of writing at all.
      Character depth is lacking. And any sort of believability is lost.
      It could have been a good enough idea, for a cheap scare, if those things were addressed but they’re just not.
      Firstly, the three bullies are far too generic. Along with that, is the fact that I don’t believe in them at all. They wield knives for stealing bus fares and then they turn up at parties brandishing guns, intent on using them and aiming them at a house full of people. What were they thinking? Maybe they would have just jumped the fence on their skateboards again and fled afterwards.
      The character Jeff seems too rushed. He seemed to develop these weird feelings and act on them almost straight away.
      Getting beaten up doesn’t make you start to have psychotic feelings. Might make you mad for awhile, but that’s it.
      His mental state towards the end didn’t seemed to match anything that was before. I know he had ‘feelings’ but that’s all. They should have been expanded on more. Maybe his feelings were just from fighting. Maybe he could have become a boxer instead of a maniac. But no, he went from enjoying feeling powerful, to trying to change his appearance to match his feelings? The feelings of being insane? Or the feelings of power? Because they are not the same.
      As for his ‘transformation’? Well, there’s enough been said about that already.

      Also, “A thing of bleach,” and “The bleach bleached,” aren’t exactly the best use of words.

      I don’t want to sound like I’m being horrible. I’ve put together some bad writing too, but try and look upon these criticisms as a positive to better your work.

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      Rating: +11 (from 13 votes)
    • Lauren

      You have no idea almost every kid talks like that these days. My friend is 10 and is every scentence of our skype convesrsation is: fuck, damn, bitch, and shit.

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      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • Anonymous

      Okay, i am not happy with the comment someone posted… By the way the kid was most likely trying to explain it to get attention using bigger words then he most likely most likely said! And Jeff only killed his brother because he was going crazy! can you not read? You are a hater.

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      Rating: -5 (from 9 votes)
      • Hensman

        You’re gonna have to be objective if you want anyone to listen to what you say.

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        Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
    • http://Creepypasta.com Girl on Chairmode

      HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?! This is the best story ever! And don’t get me wrong, the pre-teen violence thing was kinda wierd.. But I’ve seen 9 year-olds engage in junk more violent than this. This was the best story I’ve EVER read, and I’m the biggest book-worm in my school! And how you said that his hair would have burned off, that is WRONG. It is possible for hair to burn to another color, if it was tough. You are the biggest RETARD I have ever seen (or read) if you thought this was garbage. THE ONLY PERSON I hate more than you right now, is your mom. FOR GIVING BIRTH TO YOU. >:(!!!!

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      • Hensman

        You honestly need to reduce your daily intake of internet.. You must be quite a young bookworm.

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    • thank you

      I agree with you. It’s a good idea but it was very poorly executed. I was looking forward to reading it but struggled with the outlandishness of it all, and the grammar and mechanics were much more horrifying than the story itself. Switching tenses every ten seconds is jarring and irritating.

      It IS hard to write stories, and like I said the idea is great, but every writer benefits from constructive criticism and a basic draft, edit, draft, etc. process will always take your work to a higher level.

      I think people commenting and tearing others apart for expressing their distaste in a lot of basic elements of this pasta are good for standing up for the OP, but need to understand that even a modicum of revision and editing would have turned this into a good pasta. If the OP were willing to undertake more of the writing process than sitting down and banging out a story in an evening and re-released these as more polished work, they would be very creepy indeed.

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    • Igivusalmonilla

      Kill the kid so soon? HIS BROTHER WAS KILLED AT THE END. Not beginning END.

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    • mr.UndeadWrath

      i completely disagree if you notice there family is a strict one and i know some strict families make them learn words like this or he may just have wanted to be a smart kid to confuse people in allot of ways Jeff is kinda like me I’ve learn those words when i was about 7 to 9 so don’t give any of that crap kids at any age can learn these words if they want to

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    • Anonymous

      Umm… Okay, I have quite a few explanations for your problems. The young boy? You had a problem with him saying those words? Who says he was really little? By ‘young’ they could have meant that he was 11 or 12. Something like that.

      Your other problem, the cliche words. Using “son” and “that’s final” is perfectly fine. Maybe they wanted to use those words to make the story seem normal at first. Ever think of that?

      The bullies. You know, there could be kids like that. Not all kids are sweet little things. They tried to make them seem like jerks to make Jeff insane.

      The parents not trying to stop the fight? Randy and his friends said that if anybody moves, they will get shot. So, the parents couldn’t help. They didn’t want their kids to die.

      Another thing, psychopaths couldn’t really csre for anyone. They’re insane. They can’t really control it. (I know, I’m not insane. I’m most likely guessing. That’s what it seems like.)

      I don’t really know how to explain the other solutions so…..Yeah.
      I’m just saying…and I’m really wondering if you just came here to hate, or read the story.

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      • Anonymous

        He was 13. It said that Randy was about 12. one year younger than Jeff.

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    • Anonymous

      I’m twelve and I talk like that, I know bullies that act in unison and evil like that, all the kids were armed, we are not as wise as adults, Jeff was raving insane and had no feelings but hate, again, ALL THE KIDS WERE ARMED AND NO ADULT IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD STOP THEM, and finally, bleach will turn your hair from brown to black. The story had no holes if you had common sense of the real world.

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      • Decimvs

        Actually, bleach will turn your hair a whiter color because it burns the pigment out of your skin. It was the fire that turned it black.

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    • Anonymous

      Alright, I suppose those things are true, but don’t you think you’re being a tad harsh? It’s obviously fiction, you don’t need to try scour out everything that could possibly be executed in a better or more rational way.

      The words you mentioned aren’t very big at all… You don’t have to be old to have a good vocabulary. Most people can be familiar with words like that at about age 8 or 9.
      I don’t think this is supposed to be believable…killing his brother and parents? Going completely psychotic in a matter or days? Perfect combat skills? It’s a fictional story. A horror story. A CREEPYPASTA. It’s a wicked storyline and a recognized Internet legend for a reason, dude.

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    • Anonymous

      Good story, poorly written- let me point out the first fault. Little boys don’t talk like that. Work on your story telling skills, sweetie.

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    • This Story… Oh My God. -_-

      I also agree that this… this was just awful. -_- Try making up excuses that the characters could’ve gotten through rough shit, but no 12 year olds can pull those stunts off!! There are so many more cons than pros about this story, that there probably much to argue about:this story just plain sucked. Although, I give the writer props for having some creativity, but… oh my God. Enough said.

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    • Anonymous

      The parents didn’t stop the fighting becuase the other 2 kids Troy and Keith pulled out guns I don’t think anyone wanted to get shot

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    • Anonymous

      dude have you seen the kids talk these days the like to use big words especially middle schoolers

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    • Katrina

      Don’t be hating on this story, it’s better than some of the others that you find on the web, have you ever read Buried Alive? WORST CREEPYPASTA EVER!

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      • Mr.N

        No the worst pasta on the site is Jeff the killer!

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        • SlendyTheKiller

          Fuck you Thats where I think your wrong. I think it’s one of the best!

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    • ToxicToonLink

      Calm your face, child. It’s just a story

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    • Sara

      I’m embarrased for this writer. OMG. I was thinking all of the same things.

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    • Anonymous

      This is what I as thinking throughout. I liked the ideas, but your way of writing needs some work.

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    • Anonymous

      I agree. Things like when the cop says “looks like a year in juvi” were kind of ridiculous. No cop would give “sentence” a child. That is the judge’s job. The cop’s job, is simply to explain why the person is being arrested, read said person his/her miranda rights, and to take this person to the jail holding. (As well as get a full hand written description of what happened.) The officer would have both boys write in detail their side of the story, and he would take both boys in for further questions if he felt the need to. This story in under researched. There were a lot of cliche’s, but Ender Wiggin killed another kid in Ender’s Game, and he was just as young as these kids. The difference between the characters in this story and in Ender’s Game, is that Ender’s Game was written by a professional, while this story appears to be written by a 14 year old. (Or a very sheltered young adult)

      It was a good story line. It has some definitive potential. If written right, and with enough detail, it could become a nail-bitingly, suspenseful novel. If the “strange feelings” are played up. If Jeff starts having dreams. If the characters start seeming more real. If a voice starts to tell Jeff that his new face isn’t quite right, or if there is a full chapter on the parents attempting to escape, and failing, and the character leaving the house to search for a new victim, then the story could fill out more, and really become something.

      I think the author should keep working on it. Basically, if you are going to comment about how you don’t like an author’s piece, maybe you could add some helpful constructive criticism, instead of being a little shit head.

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    • Marc Krevitz

      dude, really, this is how a good story is supposed to sound. even though he used words like that doesnt mean its a bad story.

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    • SlendyTheKiller

      Hey! This is my favorite Creepypasta!
      1. Maybe the kid was a very smart kid, and a lot of parents use the words and Thats final.
      2. Bullies are like that sometimes. And I know that, because bullies like that killed my best friend.
      3. Maybe the parents didnt want to get themselves hurt. Or maybe they were trying to protect their children.
      4. Maybe these kids were taught to fight.
      5. Yeah, actually, it does make sense. He was crazy, so he killed his brother.
      6. Sometimes hair blackens.
      7. It’s supposed to be creepier.

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      • alex_cannible_unknown_story

        YESSSSSS FINALLY SOME F**KING GOOD FEEDBACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    • Anonymous

      When I was a kid I talked like that

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    • http://none Angel

      I’m 10 and i use words like that,sheesh

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    • Anonymous

      The author never specified the age of the boy so it’s your assumption that is causing it to seem unnatural.  Saying it’s a boy just means a male that is not considered an adult so the boy in the story could be 16 or 17, and a 16 or 17 year old should be at a level of english where they can use words like ominous, illuminating and horrendous.  Also the bystander effect is what would of caused all the parents to not do anything at the party during the fight between Jeff and Randy, and if you don’t know what the bystander effect is it is where no one does anything because they all think that someone else will.  The fact that they also had two guns drawn on them also makes the bystander effect more likely to occur.  Also when criticizing someone you can do it without sounding like an over opinionated dick head.

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      • Rack

        He does actually, jeffs between 12-14. Thats pretty specific. Not much difference between those ages. from 12 to probably around 18 would this all seem unnatural, and jeff definitely fits somewhere in that age range.

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    • Anonymous

      The parents didn’t stop the first the house because two of the bullies had guns dumbass

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      • Rack

        Right. Because 13 year olds with guns is soo threatening. But that brings up bigger questions. Why did they have guns? Why would they try and kill a guy they literally just met? How can they jump a yard fence on skateboards? If they were crazy enough to try and kill someone they just met, with guns that should be much harder to get (this is so so so unlikely already) Why would they do it infront of like 30 witnesses? The cases where kids do murder, it’s not infront of witnesses, they’re smart enough to know the consequences. No suburban bully would act this way, it’s just stupid, it makes no sense at all. Hell most bullies anywhere wouldn’t act this way.

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    • Balls to the walls

      I disagree. Maybe it’s a genius child, so they know those words. It’s possible.

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    • Anonymous

      When you put a story on a site like this you’re putting it up for criticism. I agree with Alexander that the story was indeed unrealistic at a points. I think with a bit of editing this story has lots of potential. The concept behind it is creepy though. A part I’m a bit unsure of is the strange feelings Jeff had. I’ve read this story multiple times and haven’t quite figured out what you were really trying to say there. One last thing we all have our own opinions and tastes. Just because someone doesn’t like this story doesn’t mean you can be immature, start swearing and being an asshole to the one giving the criticism. To the ones giving the criticism you don’t need to be so rude about it. You can give pointers without being so mean about it. -BrandonRJ

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      • Izzy…

        I think the ‘feeling’ that Jeff was having in this story, was his sanity slowly starting to fade. In my opinion of course.

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    • Headyiscool888

      You’re really one of those people who just looks for things to say that are bad about the story? Wow. And who cares if its unnatural? This is CreepyPasta, and its not in the “Based on True Stories” category. I mean, CreepyPasta is supposed to be unnatural. But there are some things I could agree with you on. But it was a good story nonetheless.

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      • Rack

        All the stories on this site are fiction, but they make sense in the world they’re set in. This does not. For a story to be good, it has to make sense and feel natural. If someone wrote a story where every parent in the worlds gotta beat there kid every night, and they just sort of mention this in passing, no explanation for why, or reaction to it, and then in the mornings they all cut themselves to get there day going. Say this happens, but the story starts off basicly set in the real world, or some version of it, none of those things really contribute to the story, they just sort of happen, no explanation or logical reasoning behind it. Would it not be a stupid story? That is jeff the killer.

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      • Thomas

        The errors in this story are like an elephant in the grass; you don’t have to look for it, because you’d be blind not to see it.

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    • Headyiscool888

      I am also a TEN YEAR OLD. I’m not retarded. I use words like “illuminate” and such all the time. I am not one of those idiots that says “libary” instead of “library”.

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      • Rack

        Since when are 10 year olds allowed to use the internet unsupervised? Thats some bad parenting right there. Lot of really twisted little things that, if to much exposure on the nerdy lonely kids who spend to much time on it (i.e. me when younger) Can really just warp your mind.

        and no you probably don’t, even if you do it doesnt matter you do, the majority don’t, and it is never once specified that jeff is some smart advanced kid or anything. If you’re going to have a character trait that’s so out of place and jarring from the norm, it has to be explained. Like any nerdy smart young kid in stories usually has some sort of reason for it, their lonely and spend all their time reading etc. It needs to be explained.

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    • CrashCooper100

      Bruh, i talk like that.

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    • Anonymous

      Sometimes kids are that violent. :P

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      • Rack

        But they’re not, not really, if they approach that kind of violence it’s not after knowing someone after a single day, and they’re smart enough to do it in secret and quietly. Kids that age understand the consequences of murder.

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        • Decimvs

          But not the spoiled kids of this generation that think they can get away with anything.

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    • Anonymous

      Well at.least some kids are smart like me.

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    • Simon

      I personaly hate jeff thhe killer. The writer of it is sick and I refuse to beleve he is a mentally stable human. Get a life O worthless writer of jaff the killer you need help. I totally agree with you. Most of the comments i have read already stated most of the mistakes I found but I still have a few. The people in the story don’t act like real people, like the speach and the fact that the little kids act like dragon ball z fighters on meth and burn people alive in broad daylight in a house full of adalts. At the beginning a little boy manages to fend off an armed assailant 2 times his sise who should not even be able to get in a house with all the security systems and screens for Windows.And some how jeff magically knows exactly where to go to escape and uses his body to smash a window and jump out.O I almost forgot jeff wold go blind without his eiylids in a mader of days so instead of a knife jeff might stab you with a fish or something.

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      • Oliver

        Hey, my brothers named Simon!

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    • Anonymous

      I enjoyed this more than the story and I was thinking basically all of these same thoughts while reading. Also I thought it was already going downhill quickly at the very beginning with the little boy not only speaking as an adult writing a story where he is the hero; but also a little boy fighting off a crazed psychopath while receiving no injuries the entire time. The police show up so quickly too, even in richer neighborhoods this is literally impossible. Everything feels so forced and generic it was just an awful read.

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    • Anonymous

      On a note, one of the most famous books in America literature, To kill a mockingbird, portrays an even younger child (scout being just 5) as using words quite like, if not even more advanced than those of the young narrator of this story.

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      • Rack

        Please don’t even try to compare this to mockingbird. Difference’s being this is written like shit, that is not, in mockingbird the child speaking that way makes sense, in this theres no explanation why and it’s jarring. In mockingbird the kid speaks naturally with those words, in this it comes off incredibly forced (because it is).

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    • Anonymous

      mmmmm…..the story has so much unnatrual parts but I don’t agree you beacuse I know so much young people will talk like this and yong kids still can be violent
      like this.

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    • Dee

      Ugh thank you I expected so much more to this. Is this seriously the original? Like I see Jeff the Killer everywhere and come to this. I had to skim through it. And I’m glad someone pointed it out and if someone has a better one please link it thank you c:

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    • Anonymous

      Yeah, I know, i was thinking the exact same thing. I’ve been trying to get into this creepsmcpasta guy, but I have to say, he has pretty good storylines, but writes them in a way that seems unbelievable. I know there fictional stories and aren’t supposed to sound realistic, but, well, you know what im getting at.

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    • Izzy…

      I am not trying to be discourteous, I am a twelve year old female and I happen to use words such as ominous or appalling all the time. Haha, I am not exactly a normal one as you might have pictured.

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    • mike

      your right about everything except the unlikeliness of jeff killing his brother. Crazy is Crazy man…(people like that don’t have limits). and also if you reread the story he has crazy reasoning regarding the mom and dad to kill the little brother. In his mind he is finishing what he started and probably getting high of off doing so.
      Also how is jeff not an enigma cause it sounds like you don’t understand why jeff behaves the way he does (making him mysterious and difficult to understand) or what an enigma is for the matter

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    • Guage

      At the same time, IT’S A CREEPYPASTA. If you don’t like it, go to MLP fanpage or something

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    • JEFF

      GO TO SLEEEEEEEEEEP

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    • Anonymous

      Dude. It’s fiction.

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    • Anonymous Writer

      As of right now i am making a sort of sequel to this and the second story, which is in the Crappypastas. it made sense and i decided to write a series that includes all of the Creepypasta universe, with familiars such as slenderman and The Face. I hope you will enjoy these as much as i will enjoy writing them.

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    • anonymous

      oh my god i was a good story shut up

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    • Anonymous

      This is fucking insane i mean how do you not know your son is a fucking physco.

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      • Nicola Marie Jackson

        I think they clicked as their son was carving himself a shiny new grin on his face xx

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    • Anonymous

      As far as the way they speak, that can vary greatly by region. My dad calls me “son” all the time. I don’t see why you find it so rare

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    • Dylan

      Oh come ON. Give the guy a break. It’s a STORY. Not a biography! And for crying out loud, who CARES if the kid uses big words? You need to get a life so you don’t have the spare time to write a freaking ESSAY critiquing someone else’s FINE work. Thank you and goodbye.

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    • Anonymous

      Whatever man it’s a great story everyone in my school loves it

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    • Decimvs

      For your second paragraph in your comment, the author probably did that to make it seem like it was the perfect family in the perfect world, like nothing could go wrong, and then it does, showing that nobody is safe when it comes to serial killers and/or insanity, which -in my mind- makes this one of the best pastas I’ve ever read!

      Also, it never said that Liu dies. It says “He slowly raised the knife ready to plunge it into Liu. Liu thrashed here and there trying to escape Jeff’s grip.” Not once did I hear that Liu dies, or Jeff stabbing Liu in the chest. At the end, Jeff just says “Go to sleep”. End of story. Actually Liu doesn’t die. At least, not at the time. If you read the story of ‘Jane the Killer’ on CrappyPasta. It states that Liu escapes Jeff, goes to his friend, Jane. She answers the door, as Jeff sneaks in, who then kills the both of them. Jane is upset and wants revenge for herself and her friend. Sorry for spoilers, but that’s the truth. Mind blown? Most likely.

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    • Anonymous

      You don’t know the meaning of a psychopath. Psychopaths don’t have feelings for others, they only pretend they do. Also, you’re complaining that it’s unrealistic and that every one is fighting matrix style. It’s a story! A horror story! You think it would be interesting if everything was completely like the real world and then boom, everyone dies, sounds great. *sarcasm*
      This is my opinion anyway, I don’t intend to just take away yours, if you don’t like it that’s fine, but still, just saying that some of your points seem a bit silly.

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      • http://Youareinasearchpagenow tytiger10

        First, off you don’t just snap and become a psychopath. It does not work like that! He might of went crazy, but he’s is not a psychopath that is for sure. Second, horror is suppose to be realistic! Let’s take the Conjuring. That was a very realistic movie and that’s why it was so scary because hell, every seemed like real people and the world felt real that may mean it could happen to me!

        That’s terrifying! Not scarier the audience with gallons of bloods or torture or bad Photoshop/CGI to make them wonder at night if that monster is coming for them!

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    • Anonymous

      I’d have to disagree kids talk about that stuff now and days

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    • No-name

      Look, I agree with some of the things you’re saying. But you’re sounding like that mean high school math teacher that criticizes everything. This isn’t the freaking New York Times, the is Creepypasta. I admit that you’re right about the language thing, and the thing about the bullies being too violent. (There’s no way they would let teenagers carry guns. You have to be 18 to own one.) But still, we’re not expecting William Shakespeare to be writing this. So everyone has their own opinion, but Jeff the Killer is the most viewed and most discussed Creepypasta. So obviously somebody must have liked it. Again, on many of your points I agree, just be nicer, okay?

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      • Nicola Marie Jackson

        Just because someone is underage doesn’t mean they can’t get guns. In England most firearms involved in crimes are illegally imported or modified but young kids, gawd bless them, still have them. But everything else I agree with. Personally I’m not a fan but oodles of folks are so I’m in a minority. I’m new to this site and love it xx

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    • Anonymous

      lol your a hater

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    • Sasuko Uchiha

      For the record…I am not going to disagree with most things except for the fact that you stated that little kids don’t use big words, when In fact I did Just thought I’d point that out ^w^ *she puts in her headphones and walks off* Bye now

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    • Anonymous

      Stop bein such a hater it is a creepy pasta story it won’t be complete perfection! #JeffdaKiller
      This is the first creepypasta I have ever read so…

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    • Jack

      No offense, but you just seem like a kid hater.

      The adults couldn’t help out because they were protecting the young kids and the kids had GUNS.

      And kids get involved in lots of violence. Haven’t you heard all the school shootings/stabbings? They happen on almost a regular basis.

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      Rating: -1 (from 1 vote)
    • Anonymous

      All of these people saying “I wanna see you do better,” take note that you do not have to be a 5 star chef to say that the food tastes bad.

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      Rating: +5 (from 5 votes)
    • James

      But this kid is a psycho path dont u think he will use those words?So then he can coonfuse people

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      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • Kylie

      umm… ur kinda right about alot of things, but jeff is known all over the world now.. and lots of ppl love him… so u were wrong on one thing out of idk how many xDD

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      Rating: -1 (from 1 vote)
    • Anonymous

      I talked that way when I was a kid…

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      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • Madness

      There is No age on Psychological Effect that an adult can get that a young teenager can get, there is no age on Psychological disorders, as I do believe that killing his brother was a bit unorthodox I like the story, maybe the writer could write a sequel and clear the rough edges up.

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      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • Thomas

      Thank you for writing all this so I didn’t have to.

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      Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
    • Azathoth

      To all of the people trying the justify the child at the beginning speaking like a fucking scholar, you need the remember that this child was almost a victim of a serial killer. If you had just been through a situation as traumatic as that, you wouldn’t talk like that. A child presumably under 13 would almost certainly be a complete mess after something like that and wouldn’t say ‘once more’ ‘illuminating’ and ‘ominous’. It’d be damned impressive if they could bring themselves to talk about it at all, let alone talk about like a fucking poet.
      Also, justifying Jeff killing his family just by saying that ‘he went insane’ doesn’t work either. That just doesn’t happen. There is no motivation for him to do that. I know that this isn’t real, but it seems to be trying to give a rational back-story to the character, so you need a realistic motivation. Where do these murderous feelings come from? Why does he act on them so quickly? In general, what the fuck is going on with this?
      Another thing, how does Jeff (a child of about 13/14) manage to burn his own eyelids off without totally destroying his eyes? Even if he didn’t burn his eyes out too, he’d definitely go blind within a few days due to exposure to air and dust.
      Believe it or not Jeff lovers, but this is badly written. You can still like it, but from an literary perspective, it’s dreadful and it needs criticism to improve it. There is nothing wrong with criticism. Without it we’d likely all be dead, because nobody would question anything anyone else says.

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      Rating: +4 (from 4 votes)
    • samuel holder

      is not meant to be realistic it is to be terrifying and they made a good job

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      Rating: -2 (from 2 votes)
    • Coolbro

      i understand most of what you said.. its pop because everyone love pyschopaths.

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      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • lauren

      i think u are pulling some real chiz here. the author did an AMAZING job at this!!!!!! dont judge him/her because of cliche it was written in 2006 back then it wasnt cliche at ALL and the “son” phrase was used often back then. so please, shut up.

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      Rating: -1 (from 1 vote)
    • emily lucas

      i love this story so much its is my favorite

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      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • anonymous

      “and the lest goes on”

      there goes your credibility buddy.

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      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • Anonymous

      Bravo, and thank you. This is just.. terrible. I can’t believe so many people enjoy this. I am growing more and more aware that this was most likely written by a thirteen year old and only enjoyed by more of the same age. Come back when you are all past your teens and see if you still enjoy this extreme mess of a story. If you are older than say… 18…. shame on you…. shame shame shame on you for not seeing the laziness in this writing.

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      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • Anonymous

      All hate no love it’s actually a great story.

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      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • Kay Demonia

      Do me a favor, go look at ten Pastas. Now, come back and tell me which ones are FRICKING REALISTIC!!! None? One? Two? Are they all completely realistic? Probably not.

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      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • Jasmine Weasley

      I talked like that. Although, I was a strange child. Now I’m a strange Teenager! whoop whoop!

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      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • Kimberly

      By far this is my favorite Creepypasta story.

      Even though the author does use very formal words (which are not commonly used by 13-year-old boys) It is still an amazing story, and I would like to see you argue against that.

      Stop judging a story based on one tiny thing. I think the author uses this type of language to make the story seem a little more eerie. If they had used words like “cool” and “dude”, it would take away some of the fright of the story.

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      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • Anonymous

    Pretty sure there would be more of an investigation before Liu was brought to juvenile detention right off the bat.
    Randy and his friends must have some sort of record seeing as how their tempers are so short anyway. Just saying.

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    Rating: +60 (from 70 votes)
  • Jeff the Killer

    Finally, the classic has been added to this site!

    I believe that it’s one of my victims’ finest works… in case you didn’t know, the original author went to sleep a few days after I read this for the first time.

    GO TO SLEEP,
    Jeff the Killer.

    P.S. Some people have been asking, and yes, I do know Jeffrey Dahmer personally… or, at least, I knew him. He wasn’t fast enough to avoid capture, but I’ll never die! Sweet dreams.

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    Rating: -25 (from 123 votes)
    • Mandie

      I don’t think you’ll find me or anyone Jeff. I think it’s time for you to finally..Go..To..Sleep. Sweet Dreams.

      P.s I’ll be waiting.

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      Rating: +11 (from 37 votes)
      • http://iCloud.com Roflmao

        Jeff will never go to sleep. Why do you feel the need to piss people off by insulting them on purpose for no reason? I’m surprised you haven’t “gone to sleep” yet. I’m awaiting the day with a closet full of cake, balloons, and streamers. And Jeff I think your awesome no matter how weird my family thinks I am. :)

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        Rating: -2 (from 20 votes)
    • http://Someguy Some guy

      He is the author and he did make you up…Dumbass… Ps Pretty stupid of you to kill your brother and Whats with your emo hair it sucks. Have a nice day asshole :D
      lol jk but really why did you got through all of that just to kill your brother and i mean just getting caught on fire doesnt make a good explination for you to go insane.

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      Rating: -16 (from 26 votes)
      • You’llNEVERknow

        O.O BITCH

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        Rating: +1 (from 15 votes)
      • Anonymous

        What is wrong with emo hair?

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        Rating: +10 (from 18 votes)
        • Anonymous

          Everything is wrong with EMO hair e.e

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          Rating: -8 (from 12 votes)
      • mr.UndeadWrath

        you don’t go insane everyone is born insane its just that its deep inside of them and they just need to let it out like me im insane im able to control it though and he probably went into shock like the doctor said and that caused his full insanity to come out insanity is like an emotion its inside you and you can’t completely get rid of it

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        Rating: -4 (from 8 votes)
    • ruthless

      hey, jeff! just wonderin who would win between you and slendy!

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      Rating: +6 (from 18 votes)
      • Alex

        slendy all the way…

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        Rating: +13 (from 23 votes)
      • I Love Smosh :DDD

        JEFF

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +6 (from 22 votes)
        • http://iCloud.com Roflmao

          JEEEEEEEEFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!! >:O

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          Rating: +6 (from 18 votes)
      • jeffs proxy

        well jeff cant die and slendy cant die so a tie

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        Rating: +3 (from 13 votes)
        • PJ Carucci

          Well Jeff can die because he’s only human. He’s just good at NOT dying, while Slendy, on the other hand, is a (in my own nerdy class specification system) Class 2 Poltergeist. Therefore he cannot die, only be expelled from a household via some sort of ritual. So I would say Slendy.

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          Rating: +2 (from 6 votes)
      • wolfling

        Do not know properly slender man he sneaky but jeff can stab good no slender man because he can actually not die

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        Rating: -6 (from 6 votes)
      • Pix

        Well that’s a rather stupid question.
        First of all, neither of them are invulnerable to physical damage, (Neither of them is a ghost, demon, spirit, etc. All though you can’t be completely sure what Slendy is because the stories relating him vary. Let’s just say he exists in the form of flesh)
        so that would mean that they could both be hurt.
        Secondly, Jeff has an unusual set of fighting skills, meaning he could break bones and such quite easily, BUT, Slenderman is more of a “magical” entity, so he most likely has supernatural powers. He also has tentacles. He could rip Jeff apart in mere seconds.
        That at least, is my opinion.

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        Rating: +12 (from 12 votes)
        • Pix

          is*

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        • WonkyTARDIS

          Pix, I’m now your biggest fan. YOU’D WIN IN A BATTLE BETWEEN JEFF AND SLENDY.

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          Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)
    • Jane

      Go to sleep…
      I’ll be waiting
      Maybe next time you’ll think twice be for coming to Illinois

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      Rating: -1 (from 15 votes)
      • http://... Black Ink

        scares of the past…
        murder of your own blood…
        mystery if you will ever get captured. Jeff, dont get too full of yourself.
        You are now a ledend.
        Be careful.
        And Jane, stay out of Jeff’s way.
        You may not get out alive.

        ~Black Ink

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        Rating: +19 (from 19 votes)
        • Your Name

          Rumors in my school are;

          -Jeff is immune to the supernatural

          -Jane IS supernatural, AKA Immortal

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          Rating: -7 (from 7 votes)
        • http://iCloud.com Roflmao

          Fuck off Jane!! I’m sure there are plenty of kids who have had their parents taken away (no offense to those people it’s pretty sad) and I’m sure they’re just as devastated. But seriously, you let yourself become just more evil than your parents would have wanted. Is that how you want them to die knowing you? An evil little bitch that gets in everyone’s way?

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          Rating: +5 (from 7 votes)
        • http://creepypasta.com Bdjdjhhdheudjffjfifj

          Nice poem???? ( if it isn’t a poem I’m so sorry!!!!!)

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          Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
      • nickleaveatthat

        Jane is not a psychopath she didn’t kill for pleasure and she died in her fight with Jeff…

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        Rating: -3 (from 3 votes)
        • http://creepypasta.com Jeff the Killer

          Regarding your opinion on the “story” of how I became a serial killer, I have decided to rest the enigmas of this case. It is NOT fiction. It is the true story of how I became what I am today. If you had a single shred of sanity left (unlike me) you would have not wasted your time commenting about the errors and flaws of a true story told by me, backed up by the police, and confirmed by 5 intelligence agencies world-wide. A story as true as this is not to be taken lightly, mocked or ridiculed among the archives of creepypastas, as I understand you have intention of doing. Have you never felt that killer instinct like I have before? Have you never just wanted to KILL someone so badly that if it were put off for any longer your brain may explode? Now, I just have to kill. If I don’t kill someone twenty-four hours from my last murder, now I just lose what is left of my mind until I finally plunge my knife into them and laugh as they die. I am even out in the open world, hidden among the many people, my face kept hidden until such time as I kill again. In the last week I have claimed the lives of over 120 people, and try all had one thing in common. They tried to defend themself. My twenty-four hour kill period is nearing it’s end, so for now, see you in hell. I’m off to kill my next victim.

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          Rating: +10 (from 22 votes)
        • http://creepypasta alma

          finally someone agrees.well i’m off

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          Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
        • Anonymous

          I can understand the psyco-family-killing. I can understand the loss of sanity. I can understand the killing other people at night. But how in the hell did you manage the flame retardant hair? Even more so with the bleach and alchol!

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          Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)
      • jeff

        I really REALLY HATE MY FIRST NAME NOW!!!!!

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        Rating: +7 (from 19 votes)
        • Amy8987654321

          Wooooooaaaaaaah scarry his face scared my soul out of me,I mean really his smilee……..0_0
          And his eyes
          Whats seen will never be unseen that picture will leave a huge scar in my memory

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          Rating: -1 (from 9 votes)
        • Amy898721

          Wooooooaaaaaaah scarry his face scared my soul out of me,I mean really his smilee……..0_0
          And his eyes
          Whats seen will never be unseen that picture will leave a huge scar in my memory

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          Rating: -5 (from 5 votes)
      • http://MSN.com nightmareSLUMBER

        OH NO, JANE! YOU WILL ABSOLUTLY STEAL ONE OF MY FRIEND’S LINE. IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO REST IN PEACE.

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        Rating: 0 (from 6 votes)
    • http://Janesworld.com Jane The Killer

      Your a very creepy man and thats why I’m out to get you Jeff…..

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      Rating: -12 (from 18 votes)
      • Black Ink

        you cant go after people just because the are creepy. that is just wrong. to me Jeff’s look is totally cool.
        ~Black Ink

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        Rating: +13 (from 15 votes)
        • http://iCloud.com Roflmao

          100% agreed. I support you dude.

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          Rating: +2 (from 4 votes)
        • Anonymous

          I got to agree with you but really have you heard of Jane the killer she has to go after Jeff the killer

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          Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)
      • Robert

        Jane, you know what? You can’t get Jeff because their is one more killer out to get you. And thats me. The reason why I’m out to get you is because when I heard that you almost killed Jeff, it got me mad. I’ve killed many people and they don’t call me Robert the Killer for nothing. I’m a mix of both you and Jeff. My lips are black like yours, but I cut a smile into my cheeks like Jeff, my hair goes down to my mid back like yours but its greasy and black and a little bit spiked up to the side like Jeff’s, my eyes are only black like yours but I burnt off my eyelids, leaving my eyes bordered in black like Jeff’s. If you want to kill Jeff you have to go through me first. Also, whats make me a killers is that I stab people in the heart, rip off their skin, dry their skin in the sun, then I eat the skin. So, yeah, your gonna get fucked up by a guy who’s sixteen, killed his mom and dad, and has two brothers(one also named Robert and my other brother Max). So you better get ready, I’m coming for you. But, in the meantime I think your cute, I’ll take my time with you before I kill you. See you in hell!

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        Rating: -1 (from 17 votes)
        • Teka

          Okay, the whole “i eat people’s skin,” was far, like.. mighty fucking far, but anywho, yea Jane, piss off, Jeff is the best person in the world and you almost killed him, that was a jerky thing to do.
          (if only i could meet jeff if he was real.. andd wouldn’t kill me.. but dreams kill.)
          anywho, Jane
          leave
          jeff
          ALONEEEEEEE

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          Rating: -1 (from 7 votes)
        • http://iCloud.com Roflmao

          Robert seriously, If your trying to become a new mystery or trying to be cool or something? Because you fail at it.Eating people’s skin? Really? That’s slendy’s job. If you want to write your own creepypasta go ahead. But stop trying to be better than everyone else. >:( Sorry if I sound like a real bitch, I’m just in a bad mood right now. :(

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          Rating: -1 (from 5 votes)
        • Skull Kid

          Come into the forest… I dare you Robbert! let’s see if you make it out alive!

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          Rating: +6 (from 6 votes)
        • Person

          Ohhhh. Robert, get ready to deal with BEN and Majora’s Mask.

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          Rating: +7 (from 7 votes)
        • Anonymous

          Hey Robert,
          U r awesome for standing up for what u believe in!!!! I bet u would make a great motivational speaker!!! U would make a great rowl model one day!!! Good luck with what ever what u want to be!!!!
          Sinserily,
          Animal lover19

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          Rating: -1 (from 5 votes)
      • June The Killer

        …Jane, I really like you, but if your out for my jiffy… well…

        YOUR DEAD MOTHER F****! ^^ can I braid your hair now?

        *smiles holding knife behind my back*

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        Rating: -3 (from 9 votes)
      • Brandon

        ……… OH MY GOD. THE RUMOR IS TRUE.

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        Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • lolurface

      for some reason i cried during the story……….and for some other reason i smile in a really creepy way when i look at jeff’s pic…….O.o

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      Rating: +5 (from 9 votes)
    • Anonymous

      HEY JEFF HAVE YOU HEARD OF JANE THE KILLER!!!

      :)

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      Rating: -1 (from 5 votes)
    • Jane the Killer

      Hey baby where are you? I’m going to kill you anyways, so you might as well tell me……..
      ;) You remember the hotel? Yeah that was fun,But you fell asleep and I wanted you awake when I killed you not asleep and horny!

      With Love, JANE THE KILLER

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      Rating: -8 (from 12 votes)
      • June The Killer

        What….

        Hey Jane, yeah… forget what I said… IM KILLING THAT B@STARD!

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        Rating: -4 (from 6 votes)
    • Anonymous

      pffft,as if your really jeff.your probably just one of those peeps fakin to be jeff.i mean,really.but if you ARE jeff,then come visit me sometime,kay? :)

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      Rating: -4 (from 4 votes)
      • Skull Kid

        Screw you! You have no right to talk to Jane Everlasting like that! Now… come to the forest…

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        Rating: +1 (from 5 votes)
    • L.j the Killer

      Hey Jeff! :D :D :D

      If u really are him….. COME VISIT ME HERE IN MISSOURI!!!! Since ur a serial killer and all, I bet you can find my house… :D
      Sincerely,
      Ur #1 fan…. And a possible serial killer also
      L.J <3
      P.S, I think ur smile is sexy. :D

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      Rating: +3 (from 11 votes)
    • Insane Killer,Stabber,Torturer and other cool things…

      i like the way you kill… Personnally,I choose to see the fear in their eyes while they are slowly and painfully die in their own BLOOD….. that makes me happy….hahahahah!
      ps:im a gurl. (super not important detal so,forget it -_-‘)
      bye and see you….maybe….

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      Rating: +3 (from 9 votes)
    • Anonymous

      Wait..what???

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      Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)
    • sweet deadlyshadow

      Sweet dreams? Since when does Jeff say “sweet dreams” sound more like Jane when she kills him on the mine craft mod. O btw for those who haven’t herd Jeff the killer vs Jane the killer Jeff ends up dieing. ^_^ hope the last sentence helped all the babies out there sleep. ^_^ Hmm I could real go for some blood right now ^_^

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      Rating: -1 (from 5 votes)
      • Person

        You’re wrong. Jeff didn’t die. Jane did.Technically Jeff DID die but then he came back because he’s immortal.

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        Rating: +1 (from 7 votes)
    • Nyancat83

      Jeff? Can u plz tell slendy that i luv him? Hes my hero and i want to meet him. He can have me as his slave! Ill do anything to meet him in person! Ill giv him 20$, hugs, and ill give him ideas 4 his nxt victim! =3 plz? 4 mii? =3 oh! And ask him if he can use his deamon powers to make other people have deamon powers? That way we could team up together and rule the world with fear! Thnx! =3

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      Rating: -4 (from 6 votes)
      • i lovepie

        how dare u i love jeff and u want him to tell slendy ur feelings!………oh well at least u dont love jeff

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        Rating: -1 (from 1 vote)
    • flower

      ok?

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      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • A Zerg Hydralisk

      this “classic” caused one of the worst fangirl outbreaks that has ever existed! do you know the pain derpbutt, operator, craphunter, MYSELF, ect. have gone through trying to find a good story and running into some of this shit?
      god damn it people! why wont you understand?!

      JEFF
      MUST
      DIE

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      Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
    • Clockwerk

      you are a disgusting abomination, and I will throw you into a volcano

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      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • blah

    that is some creepy shit right there

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    Rating: -2 (from 54 votes)
    • http://gmail.com Kiba the Slender Child

      I’m scared…
      I’M SUCH A WUSS FOR A SLENDER! LOL

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      Rating: +4 (from 16 votes)
      • o.o

        … dude jeff stop ur making it scarier

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +4 (from 8 votes)
      • http://roblox.com I am prob a slender girl that slender forgot about or im his cousin! IM A SLENDER!

        I shuld be a slender! Im pale white (i mean like PALE PALE white) i like have black hair and no face (litterly but dents were the eyes nose and mouth shuld be) and i allways wear a black dress and i make a noise when im around anyone that kills them…also i have these things that some out of my back that are black but i make people go into a black hole that kills them. If you don’t beleve me than f*** off cuz it is TRUE ITS TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!! gotz it?

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        Rating: -9 (from 11 votes)
  • fuck you, that’s why

    Ugh, I hate this pasta. Not because it is scary, but because it is stupid. >.> Everyone worships this garbage like it’s so fucking scary. Tbh, it’s lame as hell and I’m tired of hearing about it. SHAME ON WHOEVER POSTED THIS CRAP.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +35 (from 137 votes)
    • ANON

      WOW NOOB, id like to see you do anything better, this is one of the classic pastas, its scary, its interesting, just stop being a hater for no reaosn

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: -5 (from 49 votes)
      • Rack

        It’s written like shit and it’s a year old. How is that a classic? Classics are dated, this is 1 year old. The godfathers a classic, it’s 50 years old, even if we shorten the timespan for the internet age, a year is still not enough for a classic.

        It’s also pure garbage.

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        Rating: +6 (from 12 votes)
        • derp

          Um actually, the original JTK Creepypasta was posted well over 5 years ago, in 2008. Know your facts, dumbass.

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          Rating: -6 (from 6 votes)
    • Jake

      Come on dude it aint that bad.I mean come on I know it sounds foolish but come on let his imagination run loose this is a site for creepy stories just let him be

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: -6 (from 16 votes)
    • Person

      Well the person who posted this “crap” was Mr.Creepypasta. So shut your mouth about this story. If you hate it, DON’T SAY ANYTHING. People don’t want to hear your hateful shit about the story. And those of you who agreed to that comment, Fuck you.

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      Rating: -14 (from 16 votes)
      • http://Youareinasearchpagenow tytiger10

        First off Mr.creepypasta didn’t post this. If you would have looked it is sessur. Second I want to hear his hateful shit about the story. Third you are being a little hypocritical. I mean you said if you hate something don’t say something and you said you hate him and you said something so….. Finally do you want to fuck me or what I’m confused.

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        Rating: +12 (from 12 votes)
  • Matt

    Wow you guys are assholes. Jeez, the guy makes a story and you just completely trash it? Fuckers.

    Look, this story needs some work, but I’m not going to say it was awful. For one thing, it keeps shifting from present tense to past. And the dialogue could have been better. Still, it was an original idea (something that I think these previous commenters would have a real hard time coming up with).

    I’m not going to comment again or have an argument with a stranger about my opinion. Keep working on your writing.

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    Rating: +40 (from 100 votes)
    • Anonymous

      I agree with you, the story’s good. Some room for improvement but it’d make a good film that’s for sure.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +5 (from 19 votes)
      • sweet deadlyshadow

        Yes, it would make an awesome movie. ^_^

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        Rating: 0 (from 10 votes)
  • emaN

    Terrible pasta, what a mess. Guess the authors only just learned the word ominous

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -7 (from 89 votes)
  • PsyckoMantis

    “Hey, guys? Wanna go to a party armed with guns and knives and try to kill that Jeff guy?”

    “Okay, but what about after the fight, won’t we get caught?”

    “I dunno.”

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +130 (from 140 votes)
    • Captain Awesome

      Sadly, that is how smart jocks like these are.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +8 (from 12 votes)
    • Anonymous

      You guys should hear the story about Jane the killer hers are sad and stupid

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: -7 (from 7 votes)
  • Anonymous

    Lmao @ jumping over the fence. Ridiculous.
    How did they even know he was there?

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +25 (from 41 votes)
    • Luke

      They could’ve followed him and jumped the gun when the time was right. Yes, I know this story needs a lil’ work, but still, it’s creative and it’s more realistic than most of the other Jeff The Killer pastas, if you think about it.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +8 (from 14 votes)
      • Really?

        A little work? A LITTLE work? Let’s try… a complete fucking rewrite.

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • nick

      this is so fukinng scary but fucking awsome i love this but you should check out jeff the killer vs jane the killer and jeff if you read this i am a huge fan

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: -7 (from 9 votes)
  • Khorosho

    The first thing that caught my attention was the dialogue. Here’s what the boy started off with:

    “I had a bad dream and I woke up in the middle of the night.”

    Ok. Next:

    “There, in the little ray of light, illuminating from between my curtains, were a pair of two eyes. These weren’t regular eyes; they were dark, ominous eyes.”

    Uh, what? An average 13-year-old couldn’t write that for his end of the year essay. Either you thought you were writing the memoirs of an older person or you have absolutely no clue how people speak.

    The last point I’m going to get to (because there’s so much more that I could) is the realism of the situation. The cop literally says ““Well kid, looks like a year in Juvy…” Whaaaaaat? It’s automatically decided that it’s either Jeff or his brother that’s guilty? No argument for self defense? Not even Miranda Rights? Please indicate in the first line of the story that this takes place in North Korea or some other fascist country, because that is absolutely ridiculous. This site is becoming a joke now.

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    Rating: +31 (from 65 votes)
    • Anonymous

      I talk that way and I’m thirteen…

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      Rating: -5 (from 29 votes)
    • Alex

      will everyone please shut the fuck up with there complaining… it’s a story, they talk that way to give most of the details you’d need to understand it. And they immediately say Jeff or Liuis guilty is because they need to make their point and get on with the story. Damn.

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      Rating: -12 (from 22 votes)
    • Teka

      QUIT HATING
      WE’RE TIRED OF PEOPLE POINTING OUT EVERY FUCKING DETAIL,
      IT’S PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT RUIN IMAGINATION AND HOPE,
      YOU RUIN PEOPLE.
      and the only reason it’s ‘becoming a joke now’ (WHICH IT IS NOT) is because pissy people prading on other people’s work.
      thank you and have a horrable day you bitch.

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      Rating: -7 (from 27 votes)
      • lolurface

        truer words have never been spoken

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        Rating: -5 (from 11 votes)
      • Anonymous

        Jeff the killer is one of my favorite creepypastas and I totally agree. I’m not saying this because its my favorite but because you guys are all ASSHOLES!! >:(
        I go to school with judgemental people like you and get “that feeling” when I’m around them. So fuck off its fictional. Why would you just go on the computer and say “hey who am I going to piss off today?” And yes I go to school with those people too. I know the story could be a little rough around the edges and you can let it be known in a nicer way. Have a nice day!!

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        Rating: -4 (from 22 votes)
        • lolurface

          i agree

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          Rating: -5 (from 9 votes)
        • Theemperorpaulchen

          Frankly I think people I just getting worked up over construction criticism, because that’s what it is. It’s to help the author improve.

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          Rating: +5 (from 7 votes)
      • Rack

        We point out every detail, because it’s every detail that is shit.

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        Rating: +7 (from 11 votes)
      • Anonymous

        It was a dark night. Jordan sat down on his couch and turned on his T.V. As the screen flickered on, he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. It appeared to be a hooded man, wielding a knife, but as soon as he saw it thee thing disappeared. Cautiously, he stood up and looked out his window. He couldn’t see anything, except for the tree lying in his front yard.

        Jordan returned to his spot on the couch. The
        program on the television was about a killer who was known to be at large in the area. Suddenly, there was a loud crash coming from the garage. He warily stood up and walked to the door leading to his garage.

        A boy with a black hoodie and a skinning knife faced Jordan. Jordan screamed and dashed to the living room. Jordan tripped over a magazine lying on the floor. The child pinned him and silently whispered “Go to sleep..”.

        A crackling sound came from the kitchen. Startled, the two both looked. A portal spawned near the table, and out appeared a frail man wearing a black suit. Across his shoulder was a shotgun; engraved on it was “Pacemaker”. The peculiar figure casually reached for a cigarette from his suit pocket and lit it. “I’ve had enough of your shenanigans, Jeff. Your time’s come”.

        The boy, supposedly named Jeff, leaped off of Jordan and pulled out his knife. “Try me, old man!”. As Jeff jumped towards him, the man lifted his shotgun and fired. Jeff was blown back several yards. Jeff slowly rose and snarled, “Ha! Your weapon can’t harm me!”. The man rolled his eyes and walked away. Jeff looked down and noticed something; his legs were disintegrating into small letters and rubbish. “As you can see, ol’ Pacemaker doesn’t use ordinary buckshot. It dissolves terrible stories like you into what they are: piles of nonsensical words and rubbish.”, explained the old man.

        Jeff tried lunging at the man, but at no effect. “Who are you??! I will kill you and your family!” Jeff screamed. “Me? I thought it would be obvious by now”, said the man. “I’m Time Travelling Dad”. As he said this, Jeff’s body wore away, and eventually his head. Jordan stared at Time Travelling Dad as the portal opened back up. Before he left, the man said “Stay safe, kid.” Jordan tried to mouth the words he wanted to say, but couldn’t. Time Travelling Dad stepped into the portal and vanished.

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        Rating: +3 (from 5 votes)
        • tytiger10

          Not bad, but not as funny as Yossarin’s Time Traveling Dad story or as high of quality. But not bad kid not bad at all.

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          Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  • BlueBeans

    The story coulda used some polishing and whatnot. Its not THAT bad….there’re much worse posted on here but it can use some improvements. By the way I’m too scared to glance at the pic….is it scary??

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    Rating: +11 (from 43 votes)
    • Anonymous

      YES. YES IT IS.

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      Rating: +3 (from 23 votes)
    • jeffs proxy

      its not scary its BEAUTIFUL HAHAHHAH

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      Rating: +4 (from 16 votes)
  • http://Anonymous Lucifersatanbealzibubmedistofoles

    YEAH ITS A FUCKING DISTURBING PICTURE! NOSELESS, ROUND WHITELESS EYES STARING AT THE CAMERA FUCK CREEPY SMILE.

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    Rating: +8 (from 38 votes)
    • Anonymous

      you are right this picture is DISTURBING VERY DISTURBING

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      Rating: -1 (from 11 votes)
  • Steve

    “Do you want to know how I got these scars?”

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    Rating: +51 (from 59 votes)
    • Alex

      acne?

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +13 (from 21 votes)
      • jeff

        HOW DID YOU KNOW???!!!

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        Rating: +5 (from 17 votes)
  • BlueBeans

    You people are asshole. Thumbs downing me! Fuck yall too!!!!

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    Rating: -50 (from 78 votes)
    • http://derp.com Mr Derp

      You Know What? F YOU! YOUR A HATER!

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      Rating: -7 (from 9 votes)
  • John Macloy

    It was a pretty good story actually. I mean sure maybe it wasn’t realistic in “some” parts but other than that, I like the fighting and when he snapped and everything. The only thing I might say is that I kind of wished that there was an indication of where the article ended and the story began. :) And the picture’s not to bad but I love a picture at the end of a story.

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    Rating: +13 (from 39 votes)
    • Alex

      I DONT!!!!!!!

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      Rating: +3 (from 7 votes)
    • http://Roblox.com Diamondstar

      I accuialy do not think this is fake accuialy I think this is an fantastic thing Ps go to [Edited - don't post your home address on public websites, kids] that is where my owner Sierra is but don’t kill her only scare her a bit and tell her to go to sleep she wont DO NOT KILL HER I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU YOU BASTARD IF YOU FUCKING KILL HER!!!!!!!!!!! Anyways I just want you to scare her ONLY FUCKING SCARE HER!!!!!!!!!! If you fucking kill her i will cut your insides appart and MAKE THEM COME OUT YOUR MOUTH YOU ASS HOLE I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU KILL HER just Scare her and do what she wants..Ps…. I think you are awsome and I am typeing with paws….. o.e

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      Rating: -7 (from 7 votes)
  • Anonymous

    that was awesome :3

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    Rating: -2 (from 42 votes)
  • emaN

    This is in the famously creepy section… am I missing something?

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +35 (from 49 votes)
    • B_M_17

      Creepy in that “I wanna lobotomize myself after reading this” kinda way.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +30 (from 34 votes)
  • Zabthekabbit

    It may not be well written, and it may be poorly exicuted, but it is indeed a classic.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -2 (from 34 votes)
    • Rack

      Can you really say something thats a year old is a classic? Sadly its popular.

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      Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)
  • http://live.com Watcher

    I couldn’t sleep for two nights, also Oh :o

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    Rating: -13 (from 29 votes)
  • Jeff the Killer

    Wow. I can’t believe the stupidity of all of my haters.

    “It was better when Jeff was an enigma?”

    This story is the classic, and possibly the original! It’s NAMED after me, and there aren’t fifty thousand pastas out there with the exact name “Jeff the Killer.”

    By the way, Creepypastas aren’t supposed to be realistic, obviously.

    I swear, you people would complain about a fairy tale because it’s so unrealistic.

    Anyway, still think this one is great… (although it’s not true)

    GO TO SLEEP,
    Jeff.

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    Rating: -20 (from 94 votes)
    • Alex

      what ya gonna do,chop my hands of!? hahahahahahahahaahahah……whos that outside my window?

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      Rating: -5 (from 13 votes)
    • jeffs proxy

      i agree jeffery haters make you famous

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: -2 (from 14 votes)
    • Go away

      O my god shut up and stop calling your self that.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: -5 (from 11 votes)
    • lolurface

      im not a hater……..im a fan…………………..

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      Rating: +4 (from 12 votes)
      • lolurface

        i would probably be the only person to ask for your autograph…..

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        Rating: +4 (from 12 votes)
        • Skulli ♥

          you’re not the only one :3

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          Rating: -2 (from 4 votes)
    • Teka

      GO GET EM JEFF!
      Also btw, i’d be in line for his autograph, cause i know enough people like him to make a line, AM I RIGHT? if not thumbs down, but i don’t care, i’m standing up for what i like, and love, i’m part of the jeff army! Those who ain’t STOP POSTING WE DON’T LIKE YOU WE LIKE JEFF!
      although it was depressing when jane came in..
      -lesigh- shes pretty and all but ya’know.. don’t be hatin..

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      Rating: +5 (from 15 votes)
      • lolurface

        ikr…….

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        Rating: -1 (from 5 votes)
      • hero_brine

        JEFF ARMY WILL TAKE OVER.

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        Rating: -3 (from 13 votes)
      • SSJ1Gohan

        Everyone here’s an idiot.
        Hope B.T.K. doesn’t time travel to the future and kill you.

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        Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • June The Killer

      *hugs your arm* I loved it Jeffy! ~<3 Its my favorite one on here!

      *mumbles* unlike that tall mother f***** who lives in the forest…

      ^^

      YOUR NOT BEAUTIFUL…

      -June ~<3

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      Rating: -3 (from 11 votes)
    • June the Killer and Jane the Killer

      Hi Jeffy *hugs* :3

      Jane: -.- go fuck yourself

      DONT SPEAK TO HIM THAT WAY BIATCH!

      Jane: -.-*

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      Rating: -9 (from 9 votes)
    • The Plot Fairy Indeed

      Hi Jeff! I’m cosplaying as you next Otakon! ^u^
      And also, for anyone who was confused about Liu, Jeff killed him BECAUSE he was his brother. Jeff cared about him a lot, so naturally he was killed first. It’s like an honor…or something.

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      Rating: -1 (from 3 votes)
    • http://facebook Jeff the killer

      Ill kill all of you fuckers GO TO SLEEP

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      Rating: -3 (from 7 votes)
  • You fuckin dipshit

    This crap is garbage and who ever wrote this must be a 4 year old.this is the most unplanned unorganized price of turd I have ever laid my eyes on.im angry this is in the famously creepy section because the only thing creepy is how someone could write such a monstrous peice of dog shit.

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    Rating: -14 (from 86 votes)
    • B_M_17

      Coming from the person who wrote 6 sentences worth of writing and managed to do it in 3 run on sentences…

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +14 (from 26 votes)
      • Baconius

        And for got to use capitals, I look forward to the time when people stop hating uppercase letters, I mean what have they ever done to you.

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +8 (from 8 votes)
    • Luke

      Whoever wrote this comment must be an 11-year-old wanna-be troll who can’t spell. (-)_(-)

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: 0 (from 16 votes)
      • Slender girl

        HEY! YOU CALLIN 11 YEAR OLDS STUPID!? I’M 11! And I spell perfectly so F*** OFF!

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        Rating: -12 (from 12 votes)
        • Truth

          Oh my god who cares!

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +5 (from 5 votes)
        • flower

          i do :P

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -4 (from 4 votes)
        • Anonymous

          Really? “Callin”? I don’t call that correct spelling

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +3 (from 5 votes)
        • CrashCooper100

          *Calling *Fuck

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
    • Rico

      Screw you

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      Rating: +1 (from 7 votes)
    • http://MSN.com Sunshine

      Watch your language! >=C This was a great story on my opinion.

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      Rating: +3 (from 13 votes)
    • Anonomous

      Look- just because YOU can’t write this good doesn’t mean you have to hate on other Pastas. I’d like to see you write one, get it PUBLISHED, and become a Creepypasta legend. Think about it, and go to sleep, Imbecile.~

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      Rating: -7 (from 11 votes)
      • ? ?

        What the Hell?

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        Rating: -3 (from 5 votes)
    • http://aol.com Grace Real WereWolf

      YOUR SO MEAN THIS WAS FANTASTIC!

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: 0 (from 4 votes)
    • ???

      respect the story

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +1 (from 3 votes)
    • http://youtube.com Bunny

      XD u keep thinking tht bud ;)

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      Rating: -1 (from 1 vote)
    • Anonymous

      Then don’t read it.

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      Rating: -1 (from 3 votes)
    • JEFFIDY JEFF JEFF

      Please, read this story. It’s pure literature. Why else would it be the TOP CREEPYPASTA (aside from slenderman)? Maybe if you actually read it you’d change your mind.

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      Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  • Proudly Insane

    To the people like the first commenter, that think the story was too ‘unbelievable': it’s a CREEPYPASTA. They won’t all be realistic, they won’t all feel like they actually happened, and you aren’t going to like them all. How would you like it if I took your favorite book, or movie, or whatever, looked at it, then poked a GIANT plot hole through the middle that made you see the story differently? Because now I can’t look at Jeff the Killer, one of my favorites, without seeing all these minor details that just seem… off. So thanks.

    If you din’t like the story, or noticed something wrong with it, don’t make such a big deal out of it. It’s fine that you don’t like it, but instead of ruining the story for the people that DO like it, go read something else. And if you don’t like that story, read something else. That’s why there are so many stories on here: so everyone can have a favorite. And honestly, all these people that are calling it ‘unorganized shit’, go ahead and write something better, get it published on the site, and MAYBE I’ll think twice. Even if you do get it up, chances are there WILL be mistakes, there WILL be plot holes, and there WILL be an army of trolls just like you waiting to make fun of you for it.

    Well. Now that I’m done ranting, I love this story. It is and always has been one of my favorites, one of the ones suitable to read at night, with the lights off, just before you go to bed, to give you that one last scare. Bravo, 10/10.

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    Rating: -1 (from 75 votes)
    • Rack

      NONE of it makes sense though. That’s the problem. Even the bad pasta’s work in the world there set in. In this, nothing feels natural. Kids dont act like kids, people don’t talk like people, physically impossible things happen with no explanation (super natural or otherwise) and it just doesnt make sense. It’s bad, there’s nothing classic, or good, or redeeming about it.

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      Rating: +9 (from 11 votes)
  • Patrick

    The only ting actually good about this is the picture at the end. It gives me chills super hard. The story though….uhm…needs work…to say the least.

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    Rating: +16 (from 32 votes)
  • My Nemphetanime

    The fighting scene was TOO much. It’s great that you wanted to explain everything, but the motion switches too much to try to explain everything. Also, bleach doesn’t burn when it touches you. It won’t whiten your skin either, unless you leave it there for a LONG time. You don’t switch on a lighter either. When your hair burns, it doesn’t change colour, it comes off. Also, who was telling the story? Change the point of view to something consistent, it began as a newscast, but continued the story as what? A anchorman following the kids? If so, why didn’t he help when the kids were being jumped? Too many inaccuracies in the story, but good idea. 4/10.

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    Rating: +11 (from 39 votes)
    • Teka

      (COUGH COUGH) You suck..(COUGH COUGH)
      although you hate it, i love how you point out EVERY DETAIL!, also bleach does burn when touched by fire most of the time, (COUGH) JUSTA BTW.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: -14 (from 16 votes)
      • sweet deadlyshadow

        I would have joined in the fight and true at least one of the adults could have helped.

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +2 (from 4 votes)
      • ? ?

        HEY! leave him alone man and worry about yourself…stalker…

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        Rating: -1 (from 5 votes)
      • SSJ1Gohan

        Bleach doesn’t burn. It’s 80% water.
        And he pointed out EVERY detail? If that was every detail, then Jeff the Killer would be labelled as mediocre in my book. But alas, that is only about 4% of all the bad parts.

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        Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • Rose

      Dude, his face was also covered in vodka, plus, he switched the lighter on and put it on his face.

      Did you even read the story?

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      Rating: -5 (from 7 votes)
  • Mr.H

    The raw idea is there & the picture at the end was a nice touch, but in terms of the english, there is definitely something to work on. I see no need to elaborate on this point as it has already been mentioned in several comments above. This is definitely a good ‘first draft’, don’t be so negative and take the comments as constructive criticism.

    If you work on it I’m sure it’ll truly be worthy of being called ‘Famously Creepy’

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    Rating: +21 (from 23 votes)
    • ? ?

      I hear you.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
    • Syluria

      It’s difficult to take being called a fucktard and terrible writer, and essentially being called a pile of dog shit as constructive criticism. Some are constructive criticism, and try to be respectful. Still people are forgetting this writer was HUMAN, they aren’t perfect and they deserve a lot of respect and at least for someone to tell them they did well (I know lots of people are positive). But I know if I wanted to see what people thought all I would see were all these comments on how awful it was. It did have some errors, but this is all amateur writing, don’t expect perfection. This person has feelings and no one is perfect. Can anyone honestly tell me they’ve never made an error in their entire lives? If you respond with yes I am calling your bullshit now. So come on guys, be nice at least give them props for having the courage to submit it despite its flaws. Seriously.

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      Rating: +6 (from 14 votes)
      • fallen angel

        True that! you’re so right

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        Rating: 0 (from 4 votes)
      • Kreepypasta

        I don’t know, it just depends on your perspective doesn’t it? I would take the criticism as constructive, and try to make my work better, but that’s just me…

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: 0 (from 4 votes)
        • neko nightmare

          i love jeff the killer but i hate that pic

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)

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